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Chapter 52
Ishani reached Ranveer's office sooner than usual the next day, her heart still unable to feel anything and her thoughts clung to that one moment that at any cost would not go away. The entire night had been spent in just trying to get out of the numbness she felt ever since her confrontation with Chirag but it had been in vain. Ishani peered through the door to look over the other cabin but it was empty ever since she had come. She sat down in her own and finished reading the files that awaited a glance for quite some time now. The pages rustled slowly under the touch of her fingers but even they worked as a distraction, for her mind still wandered back to Ranveer. She glanced up at the watch: it was 10:45 now; too late for Ranveer not to be there in the office. Why did he not come? What was it that kept him from arriving in the office 1 hour later than usual? The meetings were attended by Rishi only and when asked about Ranveer, he informed his boss would be back by 11.30.
Ishani felt relieved. He was fine, unlike a thought that she had been going through since last night, made her feel. "Thank you," she answered back to Rishi and saw him leaving the conference room with someone she had not met before. She came back to her cabin and shut the door so that no one would disturb her.
It wasn't long when a knock on the door again diverted her attention from her work and she looked upwards. To her great astonishment, Chirag stood there, slyly smiling at her. Ishani stood up, shocked, as Chirag, without her permission entered the cabin.
"Ishani," he said softly. She saw his face; his eyes were puffy which made her realize he hadn't slept the last night and pale colour of his face expressed a trouble he had so dearly invited in his life. "Would you give me a chance to explain myself? I want to make up for everything that happened."
"Haven't you done that already?" Ishani snapped back.
"No, the real one."
"What else that could be? Oh, let me guess"um" it's the same thing you will tell me you told that girl yesterday, is it not? Only names will be changed, and content the same: boring and stale."
"No, no, Ishani." Chirag moved towards her. "I knew that girl was planted by RV and I was forced to say that so that Ranveer will think his plan is successful. Trust me, Ishani. I love you."
"Prove it."
"What?" Chirag fumbled.
"That you are innocent."
"Aren't my words enough for you now? And RV is so powerful that all the evidences of my innocence have been destroyed already. I'm helpless!"
"That is my fault?" Ishani answered carelessly. "Didn't I trust you enough already that you so marvelously smashed down?"
"I didn't." Chirag shook his head various times in denial.
"I have never seen anyone as shameless as you, Chirag," Ishani said, disgusted. "If I were you, I would rather kill myself than run after the people I have wronged. If you have tiniest of the self-respect left, get away immediately." Ishani coldly gestured towards the exit.
Chirag looked at Ishani curiously, his eyes observing her face closely but in vain.
"To make it easier for you," Ishani said glibly when Chirag did not move, "I wanted to end our relationship long before you planned the date last night and it was my own stupidity that I did not tell you already. I was afraid to hurt your feelings at first, but thank God..." Ishani sighed with a nonchalant relief. "Even if I had not known your truth, I was not going back with you. My life is here and not with you or somewhere else."
"What?" Chirag looked bewildered. "H-how-why- no... You loved me. We both loved each other!"
"No, we didn't, and this is the end of it," Ishani declared. "You are not the same person I had known when I fell in love with you- or I fell in love at all. Being with you was never like being in love. Never did I feel that way when I was with you. You know what? I always imagined love would be the best feeling in the world as everyone else told me so. My Papa did as well but I never realized what it meant. When I saw you in the party the first time, insulting Ranveer, I knew you are a rich spoilt stupid brat that I will never bat my eyes on, but it was my bad luck that I saw things otherwise after that. I don't know why... I felt something different for you whenever Ranveer mentioned you. Oh, no. That couldn't be you! You are not the same person I had known 2 years back at home!"
Ishani looked at Chirag questioningly while he withdrew his gaze away.
"Oh, so, Miss Ishani Parekh, now I get you," Chirag said, dramatically rolling his eyes.
"What?"
Chirag laughed to himself. "Don't pretend like I don't see it... whatever is going on between you and RV. I can see it!"
"What is that?"
"It's funny how money changes perception of people like you. Until 2 years ago it was Chirag Mehta you fought for, even if it meant going against your best friend, but now since he is RV you stopped valuing your fianc."
"It happened yesterday..." Ishani interposed.
"No, it has been happening for last many months and now you have an excuse to get rid of me, so you wouldn't listen to me anymore. Your excuses to get away from me, you not receiving my phone calls and not even informing me about your India visit... what should I make of that?" Chirag said, now raising his voice.
"No, it isn't so," Ishani answered.
"Lie!" Chirag yelled. "Nothing mattered to you until he was a servant, and now you can notice all his qualities. Marvelous! Nothing he would do catch your eyes back then, but now he's such a sweetheart to you, is he not?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ishani said loudly, her voice slightly trembling. She had missed something last time and she needed to know.
Chirag stared at her, but did not say anything.
"Answer me, Chirag," Ishani insisted. "What was all that, that happened at home 2 years ago?"
Chirag still stood silent.
"I know there's more. I need the truth, damn!" Ishani shouted, her voice unsteady. "How could I see you the way you never were in the first place? What has Ranveer got to do with it?" Ishani caught hold of Chirag's collar and shook him vigorously as she spoke, her eyes emanating a vehement trickle of tears.
Chirag laughed heartlessly at Ishani's realization while she came to the conclusion that he had accepted his defeat to reveal his true self now. Her grip on his collar loosened slowly. "You guessed that right," Chirag said in a sing-song voice, his face reposing in an ugly smile... one that did not seem unfamiliar to his surly features. "You are a fool. RV was a fool."
"What was all that, Chirag?" Ishani said, unable to keep desperation out of her voice.
"How come you think I am supposed to tell you the truth? I'm not getting anything out of this, am I?"
"What do you want?"
"You."
"Shut up!" Ishani snapped while Chirag moved closer to her and Ishani felt fear creeping in her skin as she moved backwards. "Stop it."
"Why?" Chirag said, and traced his fingertips across Ishani's face. "You think I will let it all be so easy for you?"
Ishani yanked his hand away from her face, feeling disgusted, and before Chirag could do anything else, now Ishani's palm found his cheek in a tight slap. "Stay away!" Ishani shrieked, her eyes red in anger. "Don't you dare come closer!"
Chirag rubbed his hand on his cheek where Ishani had slapped him for a few moments and took two steps backwards. "You slapped me!" he whispered. "You want to know the truth, don't you?"
Ishani kept her eyes fixed on Chirag as a savage fire filled her heart: a fire that could burn anyone that came her way. She shook her head lightly. "Tell me the truth or there are worse things that can happen to you," Ishani whispered dangerously.
"You're threatening me?"
"I'm warning you."
"What if I don't""
Before Chirag could finish his sentence, Ishani swiftly rolled him halfway and wriggled his right wrist firmly. "Speak up," she said, now more urgently, her grip on his wrist painfully stronger.
"What... the hell... are you"?" Chirag groaned as he struggled to free himself from her grasp but unsuccessfully.
"Now!" Ishani said and twisted his wrist harder than before.
Chirag groaned loudly. "I'll tell you... I'll tell you," he panted for breath, but Ishani did not yet release him. "Trust me. I can't narrate the whole story in your arms like this, but if you like I'm ready to""
Ishani pushed him away as Chirag finally got hold of himself, still panting. He smoothed the creases of his shirt and traced his fingers about his face as though to make sure he was really alright. His eyes burned with an envy Ishani had never seen before.
"I never knew you could be so dangerous," Chirag said, while Ishani simply stared at him in anticipation of his revelations. "But if you are dangerous, I can be worse."
Chirag moved closer and closer while Ishani quivered as she felt his arms encircling her waist, covering her both arms so that she could not release them. "Stay away," she shrieked, but Chirag's grip was now stronger on her and she could not escape. She slowly found her arm free and slapped his shoulder to get away but his arms felt too strong to be able to do that now. In the blindness of the hour, Ishani felt Chirag's hold on her getting stronger and in a few moments she could feel him burying his face in her neck when she screamed with all her might and, suddenly with a gush of air, felt Chirag being thrown away from her like pain from the nerves of a dying man. She heard a voice... someone shouting. Her vision was blurred with tears as she felt herself choking for air and she coughed, her senses betrayed her while the whole world seemed to spin about her dangerously. She couldn't feel Chirag anywhere about her. There was something going on, but she could not understand what. Ishani swallowed some air, and wiped the continuously falling tears from her eyes.
"Now, what do you... think happened that night... in your house? Garima, Disha, Baa... how come they all at once... came against your best friend?" Ishani now heard Chirag's voice coming in hiccoughs. Her vision cleared in a few minutes and she could see Chirag's face on the desk before her eyes, while Ranveer smashed his hands on his skull.
"I told you! I told you to stay away from her! What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Ranveer shouted as he picked up Chirag, holding his collar and before Chirag could take in a single whit of breath, Ranveer threw him on the floor where he rolled over like a uselessly placed cylinder falling down endlessly, his arms preventing him from sliding further in a few moments.
"I haven't seen a foolish... fellow like you..." Chirag laughed at Ranveer through his broken lips that bled, and now coming to his knees, while Ranveer again picked him and mercilessly dragged him away. Chirag continued, "You were foolish enough to hand her over to me, and she was foolish to believe I loved her... I fooled you once again... she let you go. Now you're fighting for her...again? Ishani can't see me in pain..."
Ranveer blew a tight punch across Chirag's jaw as he groaned loudly but continued nonetheless, "Am I right, baby?" He looked at Ishani and twisted his lips in a pout while Ishani looked at the enraged Ranveer, unable to say or react in anyway.
"Ranveer, please," Ishani pleaded but her voice went unheard by Ranveer.
"See? See?" Chirag squeaked in his hoarse voice. "She already wants you to stop hurting me. I know she loves me!" Chirag winked at Ishani, while his face was blown with yet another punch across his left cheek below his eye.
This time, Chirag made an attempt to stand on his shuffling feet and rushed to Ranveer before Ranveer himself could catch hold of Chirag. "If I were you, I would never let anyone take my girl away... Oh, but you were that servant... that unworthy of her... one that considered himself as an eternal lover... that's why you made her fall for me, right? No one... no one... could be more foolish than that, I swear."
"Shut up!"
"Ranveer, listen to me, please," Ishani said, rushing to him and trying to take a hold of him, but in vain, for his hands still punched into Chirag's stomach while Chirag's failing voice cried loudly in pain.
"You will never..." Chirag whimpered as Ranveer powerfully struck Chirag on his chin while Chirag's hands flew backwards in resignation. Ishani leapt towards Ranveer.
"Stop it, Ranveer, please!" she requested, holding his shoulder. Finally, Ranveer let go of Chirag's collar as Ishani, weeping, leaned her head on him. Ranveer's breath grew heavy as he composed himself slowly. Chirag lay motionless on the floor, his body moving occasionally as he felt the pain often creep in his skin. Blood spilling from his nose and mouth while red and brown spots of bruises flared upon his skin. Ishani looked at Ranveer but he did not return her gaze. They stood up and within few minutes, Ishani saw three cops and two doctors entering the cabin followed by Rishi as they made their way towards Chirag. Examining him, a stretcher was called upon and they took him away. Ranveer was asked to give his statements but no inquiries were made from Ishani.
After Ranveer and the police had left, Ishani dropped to her chair, resignedly, her mind replaying the events of last few minutes again and again. She wanted to know the truth, what was it Chirag was trying to say? Why did Ranveer make sure he didn't say anything (the way Ranveer hit Chirag was nothing but his attempt to make sure Chirag did not say something he would have otherwise. Perhaps.)? Why did the cops not think to enquire anything from her? So many questions and no answers.
Ishani needed to know something. Something that was tugging at her heart for so long and yet she was unaware of this. No one but Chirag himself could answer that.
Night had grown to be humid. Gray clouds from the western skies gathered before Ranveer as he drove away from his office. The usual headache once again had surfaced which made it harder to drive along. Ranveer rubbed his temple and closed his eyes. Somehow it felt better. What made it worse was Ishani's absence. He hadn't seen her since morning. To his surprise, she wasn't even in the Church nor in her office and nor in any of the places he had known she might be in. He had let her be considering she needed her time but her not picking up his phone even after 10 at night was a matter of concern for him. His restlessness became worse but he could not find about the whereabouts of Ishani. Hoping to find her once last time, Ranveer turned towards her office lest she had come here after he had been there the last time he had checked. He passed through Covent Garden and 20 minutes later his car halted in front of a tall building, dwarfing nearly everything that lay before its mighty shape. The office was locked and lights were closed. Guards revealed no one else was in office and Ishani had left already a couple of minutes ago. If he ran past the next building few yards away, he would find her. Ranveer thanked the guards and rushed to look for Ishani but she could not be seen anywhere until he took few more steps ahead towards the end of the street. It was then, when he was able to see her, walking to herself, her head low and shoulders drooped, as if oblivious to her path and further destination.
"Ishani," Ranveer cried. She did stop and continued to walk as though she had not heard him at all. Ranveer came further. "Ishani, can't you hear me? Please stop."
Ishani stopped and looked back at him. Ranveer's heart gave a leap, and a strong wish to kill Chirag filled his heart. Chirag had broken Ishani. Ranveer advanced towards her. Her eyes hiding a grief that knew no end and her throat felt too soar to say anything. Fresh traces of tears were implanted on her face as she withdrew her gaze away from his.
"What are you doing here?" Ishani asked, her tone exhibiting a failed rudeness.
"Look at me first," Ranveer pleaded, but Ishani continued to look at the ground below. "Ishani." Ranveer made her turn towards him and lifted her chin up so her eyes gazed into his. Ishani looked away and jerking his hands off her shoulders, she walked away.
"Don't come after me!" she yelled. "I don't need you."
Ranveer followed her. "I can't do that," he said. "Wait! You can't go on like this, it's going to rain."
"Exactly. You hate rains. Go back," Ishani snapped.
"What's wrong with you?" Ranveer grabbed her by elbow and pulled her towards him. "Look at me."
Ishani did not, but he could feel her eyes getting wet from the tears that appeared in the corners of her eyes. Ishani struggled in his arms, trying to free herself from him but he did not let her go.
"What happened, Ishani?" Ranveer repeated, while Ishani only slapped on his shoulders to let her go, her little voice coming in hoarse whispers.
"Why?" Ranveer asked. "You have to let Chirag go!"
"Let me go, Ranveer," Ishani shrieked, as Ranveer freed her from his arms. "Can't you see I want to be alone for some time?"
"You have been alone for so long," Ranveer answered solemnly.
"I want to spend some time with myself. Can't I get that as well?"
"And why would you do that?"
"It's my life. I'll do whatever I want," Ishani retorted.
"Oh. Nice," Ranveer smiled softly. "It's your life, is it? What has happened to your life? Don't be a fool, and come on!" He again took her hand in his and dragged her along.
"I am a fool. Let me be!" Ishani yelled, jerking her hand out of his, and Ranveer could feel a couple of rain droplets beginning to fall down upon them.
"No," Ranveer said, and took her hand in his and brought her close to the car. "Leaving you like this is one thing I will never do."
"And why?" Ishani shrieked. "Why won't you leave me alone when that's the only thing I deserve?"
Ranveer halted in his tracks, his curious eyes observing her closely.
"What did you just say?"
Ishani withdrew her eyes away. "Let go of me is all I want," she said, struggling, as Ranveer held her hand harder.
"Look at me," he said, and it was for the first time he noticed the smell of alcohol in her breath. "You're drunk?"
Ishani looked up at him, her eyes pleading him to let her go but it had no influence on him as his palm still remained wrapped around her wrist protectively. "Please," Ishani said. Ranveer now let go of her.
"Ishani," he said, "I can understand how you feel, but""
"No, you don't!" Ishani shouted bitterly. "You don't know how it feels... to... to be Ishani. It's very easy for you to say that, but you'll never know what it feels..." Ishani averted her gaze away from his. "I met Chirag in jail today and he's told me everything! All that you kept hidden and all that I never looked for..."
"What!" Ranveer started, while Ishani still looked sideways, tears falling from her eyes.
"Why?" Ishani said painfully. "Why did you do that? Maa, Papa, Baa, Ishani... your loyalty...everything. How could you do that?"
Ishani ran her fingers across Ranveer's forehead as she noticed a scar on the left side that she came to believe he had received that night 2 and a half years ago.
"They lied..." Ishani said reproachfully. "Baa... Disha... I know this, Ranveer. How could I be so blind? So stupid? They all lied. Ranveer, please go away... Please. I let you go... for Chirag... for Disha. No, no." Ishani wept, outraged at herself.
Ranveer kept quiet.
Ishani involuntarily leaned in his arms and her head hit his left shoulder as uncontrollable tears gushed out of her eyes hysterically. Ranveer stood numb before her, unable to react as he felt the drops of rain slant down freely about him. The thin icicles swiftly melted down from the sapphire blue sky, splashing down on the ground, and within minutes wetted him and Ishani to the bones. How could Ishani know he hoped she never did? He slowly felt the numbness leave him as Ishani's sobs mingled with the whistling of the breeze and the sound of the rain reached his ears. She clung to him like a thought to an old memory and let her sorrow be smeared away from her heart.
"Why did you let Baa do that to you all the time? Why didn't you tell Papa about...? Why didn't you hate me, Ranveer? Why did you come back to me? I should've been left alone. I can't give you anything," Ishani said while her hands clung on him tightly, and her head still resting on his shoulder. She slowly separated herself from his embrace and looked into his eyes. "Why?"
Ranveer wiped her cheeks and took her face in his hands. Ishani brought her hands to touch his, as though she did not yet believe he was there with her. Ranveer felt Ishani did not need any answers... she needed comfort. "Don't cry. It's all over," he said softly.
"Ranveer... I'm... I'm sorry," Ishani sobbed. "I failed you all the time and you..." She looked away.
"No, you didn't," Ranveer answered, turning her face towards him. "Now let's go home. It's not going to be good for your health if you stay up like this here."
Ranveer led Ishani towards his car and made her sit next to him. He started the engine and swiftly drove away. There was only silence save the one coming rhythmically from outside.
"I don't want to be alone," Ishani said softly, her sobs light, as they came towards the highway. The vehicles still roared about the city prodigiously and the rain grew harder.
"I know," Ranveer agreed.
"When I said I don't want you back, I didn't mean it either," Ishani said guiltily.
Ranveer looked at her. Ishani was looking out of the window as the evanescent rain droplets danced on the windshield whimsically in the late night. "I know that as well," Ranveer answered and Ishani fell silent again.
The journey seemed endless, but Ishani did not want it to end. Often a flash of lightning would illuminate the surroundings to make her shudder in her place and she would stir in her seat but would not say anything. Ranveer kept quiet as well and the silence was broken again by Ishani. Her question startled them both.
"Why do you love me so much, Ranveer," she said, as Ranveer suddenly stopped the car. She slowly looked up at him and realized what was it that always made it harder for her look into his eyes. His eyes reflected her own image. She searched through them as though looking for the scars she had so ruthlessly incised upon his heart and the traces of those wound could still be felt underneath the faade of RV that she never had noticed before. Ishani gulped. His gaze was too much to bear.
"If it had a reason, it wouldn't be love," Ranveer answered slowly, while Ishani found it impossible to look at him again.
"You deserved better. You still so," Ishani said in a hollow voice. "Someone who cares for you. Someone who will be there for you when you need her. Someone who will love you just as much you..." No! How could anyone love someone the way Ranveer had loved her?
"I love you, Ishani." Ishani heard Ranveer say, while she looked into his eyes again, and a stream of tears unknowingly poured out of her eyes. To her, it seemed, a spell had taken over Ranveer, for his unblinking eyes emanated a passion she had never seen before. "Ever since I met you, I knew I could never love anyone but you. Everyone reminded me I was a servant" unworthy of having a friend like you"but it was you, Ishani, who always made me feel alive. I knew I mattered to someone. I couldn't give you anything but the little I had and I wanted to make sure you got that. I wanted to see you happy. That's it. I don't have any reason to say why I feel for you the way I do, but if it wasn't for you, Ishani..." Ranveer paused and looked away, and Ishani felt he would not say anything more. The spell had broken and he looked exactly the same he always did: distant and broken; someone who had always loved her.
Ishani had nothing to say as she stared at him vacantly, her heart beating in her chest differently now. She melted unknowingly in that moment and knew there was no return from now on. But she would never be able to love him the way he did, or protect him whenever he would need her. All the time before she had failed him even though he did not admit this. He should've told her what a horrible friend she had been to him; that would make things easier to endure. All her life she had wanted someone to love her dearly, but now, she could not bear this capricious thought.
The question again rang in her head: "Why did you love me so much, Ranveer?" But only if she had the answer, it would be easier to close her eyes without feeling terrible. Ranveer started the engine again and drove away in silence.
Edited by Elvish_Hobbit - 9 years ago
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