'Zeigarnik Effect' or Love?

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Samridhi

@BinKuchKahe.

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

In simple terms Zeigarnik Effect is a case of not being able to forget something that you never got to finish. It proposes that as humans we tend to remember uncompleted tasks better than completed tasks.

A decade ago, Shravan realised that he loved Sumo & thus wrote her a letter to confess his feelings. Unfortunately, they separated even before she could read it & have a new beginning, probably as lovers, together. 10 years passed. But he never forgot his first love, rather he fixated on Suman & held on to every scar she gave him together with the good memories, to the point that they've left a permanent mark on him & his life. He changed because of her, & for her.

The fact that Shravan has not been able to forget her, could it be not because he still has a keen affection for her or because its fate, but rather because he never got to see it to the end? He never 'had her' or a proper closure & that's why he's never been able to truly move on & still continues to be affected by her.

What do you guys think? Is it love, or merely a 'Zeigarnik effect' that speaks of his need to 'have her'?

Cheers,

Samridhi

Edited by prc_fan1 - 9 years ago

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Frequent Posters

Spnfan

@spnfan

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

under normal circumstances this is possible... may be onces he had her as his he might get over her but since this is an indian serial and he is the ML he obviously still is head over heels in love with her... no confusion at all...

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Sanika

@Legilimens

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

We had studied this effect as a part of Management Studies. Never in a million years would I have connected this with ShraMan 😆

i do believe that we tend to remember our first proper crush and our first boyfriend/girlfriend. And I think we all would definitely remember attempted proposals 😆

Rather than fixating on Suman, I think Shravan had tried to forget her, you know, a new beginning and a new life and all that. Except he probably concentrated on forgetting her so hard, he couldn't do it.

I don't think Shravan is affectionate of her because their relationship did not have a proper ending. The fact that he did not get closure probably contributes to the factor of him not moving on but I do believe it is mostly because he is affectionate of her.

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Riya

@Ri21

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

he never had closure or should i say he never wanted to..
first love or teenage love is very delicate and very special. whatever happens we always have special place for it. sometimes first love never fulfils. so some move on keeping its memories.

but what shravan had is much more deep. suman was his bestfriend. he had her as the ONLY friend. he was accepted by her only though she never publically announced they are friends or give recognition but she was his friend.

friendship and love this 2 combinations are too strong so i guess he never could forget her. and also the pain or dhoka she gave him. he kept it alive in himself. as he lost 2 precious persons he had this mindset about girls. but deep inside he is still the same shravan who loves suman unconditionally. i dont think its zeigarnik effect. its pure love.

distance makes heart fonder. so is the case of shravan and suman. shravan even went far away from her but she was always there in his memories and he kept remembering the good old days and as well as that bad day which changed his life.

if this was not love he wouldnot have been so restless after party and wont be concerned hearing her accident. lets take for humanity he waited so that goons dont do anything with her. but what about the other things coming at late night to return the money.

and even in the interview namik said shravan's anger has reduced now. he had this bharas in him and he has vent it out. he made the hisab barabar and now he is facing its consequences..

there is something between them which keeps bringing them closer. he wont say anything but he ll make sure she is always safe and happy. he ll hurt her with words but help her with his actions indirectly..

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Mandy

@MrDarcyfan

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

If closure was the only thing pending here, then I would think that epic insult at the Reunion was enough to achieve that! What is the reason for him to still think of her or to care in any way? Maybe he thought that the getting even part will finally allow him to move on. But clearly it's not as easy as he thinks. Somewhere he still has a soft corner for her.

He does feel some guilt about what went down after that showdown with Pushkar. He is maybe now second guessing his mode of getting even with her. He can see she has a lot of hassles at home and it's not easy for her. Why does he care? Well the reason is, he just does.

It is love? I don't know. It was love once upon a time. Maybe it still is? Then it was between unequal people. He was her mascot and her the puppet master to quite an extent. Now they are more equal as Shravan has established that he is unhappy with what happened in their relationship and no longer willing to take that treatment from her. In fact he proved that he is no longer the old Shravan. Now they are more even. So whatever happens now will happen because Shravan still has feelings for Suman. He may not want to, but he does!

I don't think it's just about unfinished business. Not anymore, if it ever was.

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poppinss

@poppinss

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

I am not so sure about first love. But I would think that Shravan and Sumo both found something in each other, that completed them.

Even at a young age they were the most unlikely friends. But they continued to be go really strong even if it were outside of the school. Shravan who was a very silent person did speak about his personal problems with Sumo. Some might say that they have an unequal friendship. But I choose to differ, Shra even then could hold his ground and manage the agressive and brash Sumo.

Coming to the present, both are grown but still are the same old lonely souls, they have people around, but they are still lonely. They remember the companionship they had in their younger days, happier times and think of what could have been... had events in the past had turned out in a different way. They would still be friends and would be there for the other.

Sadly for them, their happiest times were also the ones that they spent together in their childhood. They were each other's rock till that unforunate day. Since they seperated, neither has been happy possibly for different reasons. But what was always common between them was that they were unhappy.

Subconsiously, they still long to have the other back where they used to be... But they are stopped by trust issues and ego. But their subconsious feelings and longings continue to exist.

If what Shra feels were superficial then he would loose interest after he has had her. But their connection runs way deeper than that.

Edited by poppinss - 9 years ago

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WinniethePooh.

@WinniethePooh.

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

Very very interesting question. I like your posts.

I don't quite think its love yet. And neither is it just closure that was lacking or else he wouldn't be restless after humiliating her. But you also mentioned about how he hasn't 'had her' yet & that is very different from closure. I do think it is a case of not having her yet in the sense that he never got to become her boyfriend & profess his feelings. And somewhere he is still hung up on that on a very subconscious level. You know sometimes when you love someone & you never get the chance to say it to them..meeting that person again after many years..just rekindles all those moments when you admired them. It isn't really because you're still hung up on them per se, but more because you are hung up on the fact that you never got the chance to say it & experiment being with them. And only being with them will allow you realise whether it is really love or was it just the need to have them which of course will result in you getting bored of them shortly. So I do think it is somewhat of a 'zeigarnik effect' for him. I am sure that when he starts dating her, his feelings will grow more & more because of that long wait & desire he's had to have her for so many years (obviously this is a given because they have to fall in love as they are the leads)

Thanks for reviving memories of my psychology class many many years back😆

Edited by WinniethePooh. - 9 years ago

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Mandy

@MrDarcyfan

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

@ WinnithePooh:

I agree. Those "Adhoori Kahani's" have their own charm and we are always drawn in by them. (in real life as well). We sometimes wonder what it would have been like "Had I confessed my feelings then?" Not necessarily coz you have those feelings now.

In Shravan's case he does still have feelings for Suman. Maybe he thinks its just pent up anger and resentment, but we know it's more. If it was just that, then her pain wont hurt him. But it clearly does. His feelings for her are very very complicated. Just like Shravan himself is very complex. But that is what I love about him. The guy is layered. Within the character, there is this quite stillness. This introverted side. (even when he is putting on the fake charm) I just love it.

Shravan is an observer. He observes things about situations and people. I am sure he knows how fake Mami is. He can read people quite well. So in a sense, his reason for not reading Sumo right this time was his hurt and anger and sense of abandonment by her. But deep down he does know there is more to Suman than being a user. If he didn't think that he would not have loved her then and he wont love her now!

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mohima369

@mohima369

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

Nice post..
I think Shravan still loves Suman... in fact he never stopped loving her.There is a psychological fact that any emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes if we consider chemicals emitted by the brain...anything more than that is self inflicted.Whatever Suman did to Shravan during childhood wouldn't have mattered much to Shravan if there was no deep feeling for her in his heart.First crush and love are special but sticking to it or moving on is entirely our decision.Here Shravan chose not to forget Suman.He might not admit but he still loves her deep down.
About incompleteness...we only complete things we WANT to complete.

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-Rushali-

@-Rushali-

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#10

Very nice post SamridhiThumbs Up And here's my view..

First love is always very special & very difficult to get over with! It gets even more complicated if the person happens to be your best friend and you face rejection/ignorance from that same person. The friendship gets badly effected. But one can always move on, if he/she wants to & get a proper reason to do so.

Shravan couldn't move on bcoz somewhere he didn't wanted it & Sumo's impact is high on him that even if he consciously wanted to forget her, his sub-conscious wont permit him! This happens when you immensely love someone, but fails to get the reciprocation. And in Sharvan's case it even worse, coz Sumo had brutally denied to acknowledge his friendship itself! So, practically he should hate her and he had been trying to do so for years but his heart never allowed it. That's why he needs to constantly remind himself that, Sumo means nothing to him..where actually his whole world revolves around her only!

Its an ideal catch 22 situation..where a person simultaneously loves & hates another person!

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'Zeigarnik Effect' or Love?

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