One by one, I went through my list of contacts and called anyone who might have any information. It's anyone's worst nightmare. Lata ji called me because Suhani left her phone at home and went somewhere without informing her. She thought that Suhani would be with me, but she hadn't come here yet. It had been three hours since she left. Lata ji was already under a lot of stress because Pankaj ji was in jail. Suhani hadn't visited him or Gupta ji today. She wasn't with Soumya either. Bhavna and I called everyone we knew and then I decided to go search for her on my own. It was 10 at night which meant that she'd left in the evening. Lata ji continued calling me every few minutes.
I didn't have an answer yet to her question. I began to panic now. I felt that tightness in my throat. Where was she? Was she ok? I had no way of knowing the answer. I knew she was stressed but this wasn't the correct way of dealing with it. Forgetting about me for a second, she could've at least considered her mother's feelings before leaving like this, that too so late in the day.
I had to go to her house first. I tried calming Lata ji down. Bhavna & Sharad came too. I left them with her and again went in search of Suhani. If she would come home in another hour, I would have to take serious action. I was on the verge of a panic attack at the moment. All sorts of horrible thoughts began plaguing me. I tried to talk myself into calming down but it wasn't working. I failed badly and found myself driving around with tears in my eyes.
"Please, Suhani, don't do this to me...I can't handle it." Things were already pathetic. I was torn between my sister, my wife and father in law, and now my wife was missing. Missing', I mouthed the word and shuddered.
"No, God...don't do this to me. I can't handle it. I'm not strong enough..."
Like an idiot, I drove around for an hour and visited everyone I knew a second time but didn't realize that my phone was actually off. On the way back home, I got the urge to call Suhani, knowing well that she'd left it home. I turned my phone on. I didn't have any missed call but I followed through on my urge and called her. She answered.
At first I thought it's Lata ji but I knew this voice better than anyone else. It was Suhani. I was relieved but my relief slowly turned into anger.
"Hello..." She said. She sounded somber.
"Suhani, where in the world have you been?" I calmly asked.
"I went out but accidentally left my phone, I'm sorry..."
"I get that but...forget it. I'm on my way." I hung up. She sounded way too calm and I'd been driving around with tears in my eyes and asking about her in every possible location. Her mother was worried sick too.
I reached her place and entered. On one hand, my heart jumped with joy on seeing her. I wanted to hug her but then on the other hand, I was so angry. I still hadn't fully calmed down from the scare of possibly having her go missing.
I eyed her skeptically. She smiled and walked over to me. Sharad, Bhavna, and Lata ji were watching us.
"Suhani, can we please speak privately for a moment?" I said. I sounded like I meant business and I was glad, because I did mean business. Sharad gave me this look and I knew what he meant. He wanted me to calm down. I realized that I was fuming so it probably showed on my face. Bhavna looked scared but I was so angry that I didn't care at the moment what anyone thought. I took Suhani by her hand and went to her room.
When we entered, she asked me to sit but I refused. She looked a bit scared.
"Have you apologized to Lata ji?" That was my first question. She nodded.
"I did...I didn't mean to..." I stopped her.
"I don't think you understand the pain and agony she was in for around four hours. She's your mother. Her husband is behind bars. Her other daughter can't always be there with her, and her younger one is missing. Suhani, how could you be so careless? You didn't even take your phone or bother to tell Lata ji where you were going? How old are you? Are you 4?" I was shouting now. She flinched a bit and looked teary eyed.
"I'm sorry..." She replied weakly. "I went to a park to take my mind off things. I thought my phone was in my purse..." She said. I shook my head.
"How inconsiderate of you. It's a very selfish thing to do. We're all already so stressed and then for four hours you just go missing. Suhani, it's 11pm at night. It's not safe for you to be out there so late and not even have your phone with you!"
She listened quietly. I guess that I was angry for multiple reasons, or perhaps just frustrated. I knew that deep down, I just missed her, but right now I had no control over what was coming out of my mouth. She let me speak.
"Suhani, that's your problem. It is SO EASY for you to leave!"
She absorbed that blow. "Leave? What are you talking about? What's this really about, Yuvraj?"
"It's about you. It's about how easy it is for you to leave people. You felt like going for a walk in the park, FINE. Inform your mother, inform me, and take your phone. But you don't care. You don't give a damn. You just do whatever the hell it is that you want. To hell with anyone else, right?"
"Is that what you really think? Thanks for letting me know. Thanks for making such a huge deal over this. It was a mistake and I apologized. I'm already very distraught and this is how you treat me?" She replied.
"You'll never accept your mistakes will you?" I asked. "I know you won't because you're not weak like me, Suhani. It's all very easy for you. You can just walk away. You don't listen to a thing I have to say. You don't care how anyone feels once you've made up your mind." I said.
"It's not like you're listening to me. Right now you're only shouting. That's nothing new for you, Yuvraj ..." She replied. She was crying now. Her tears pinched me the way they always had and always would.
"Answer my question. Why is it so easy for you to just leave, Suhani?"
She moved closer to me. "I don't know what this is about and I don't know why you're so angry, but I'm not going to put up with it. I'm tired, Yuvraj...I'm so tired." She turned around and tried to leave and I grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. I held her.
"Even now, you're turning around and leaving me...again. It's so easy for you. Why? You pack your things and leave. You go out without informing your mom or me. You pack up your things and leave me again and again and I never know it's coming and even if I do, I can't do anything to stop you." I held her by the arms and pulled her closer.
She understood now. She was quiet. I looked into her eyes. "You're really strong...I'm proud of you but at least, just once, think of what it does to me each time you leave. I don't know why but, I can't handle it."
"But that doesn't mean that you can shout at me." She said.
I wiped her tears. "I'm not apologizing for shouting today because you gave everyone a panic attack. I was going to the police if you wouldn't have answered my call. Say sorry..." I demanded.
She shook her head. "No, I won't..." She said. She smiled and hugged me.
"You're so stubborn. How come you're allowed to give me heart attacks? What if I was the one missing so late at night? Huh? Tell me?"
She looked into my eyes. "You're not going anywhere. I won't let you." She said.
"Oh yeah? Well, how can you keep an eye on me if you're not living with me?"
"I'll hire someone to keep an eye on you." She smiled and I smiled back. Our foreheads touched.
"I guess you're calmer because you got to vent your anger." She said.
"No, I'm calmer because you're back home, safe and sound." I told her. I hugged her tightly for all the days that we'd been living apart.
"Just lemme know the next time you wanna take a stroll in the park. I'll join you..." I said. She nodded. I held her face and kissed her as many times as I could but it would never be enough." She stopped me and laughed.
"I think we should leave the room now. Everyone must be wondering..." She said.
"Let them..." I said. I grabbed her by the waist.
"If I want, then I can keep you here for as long as I need to." I whispered. She put her forehead against my chest. "I need to go, Yuvraj. Please let me go..."
"Not yet..."
"Then when?" She tried to push me away. "Not until you try to be a good wife for a few moments..." I joked. We both smiled. She looked down.
"No, getting shy won't work right now..." I said. We smiled at one another and she kissed my cheek. She pushed me away, opened the door, and left. I wonder how long it would be until she would come back home and such moments would become more regular.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
