Right, for the earlier parts just do a username search. i really don't have the strength to do all that hyperlinking. Sorry.
Happy Reading.
XXI
Waqt ki kaid main zindagi hai magar,
Chand ghariya, yehi hai jo azad hai,
Inko kho kar meri jaaneja umar bhar na taraste raho……
(Life is imprisioned by time,
A few moments are all that are free
Don't, my beloved, loose them and then regret it for a lifetime…)
From a Ghazal by Farida Khanum: "Aaj Jane ki Zid na karo"
Ranveer and Nachiket had probably been spot on, Jai thought with a sigh as the SUV sped on towards the hills in the early hours of the morning. I do need to take a break. Get away from it all and stop taking out my bad mood on everyone around me. Get a grip, he told himself.
Bani is history. Forget her and move on.
At Nainital, after lunch at the flagship hotel of the resort he dismissed the driver, opting to drive to Almora himself. As he drove, he could feel his mood lifting. He was coming back here after a long time and it felt good to be back…..those wonderful evenings with Major Winston….the initial days when he had spent all his waking hours turning the four rather shabby genteel hotels into a world class spa resort facilities……without even realising it he began humming as he deftly manuevered the SUV over the narrow, twisting roads.
It was late as Jai turned in the resort gates and drove up to the main house. After freshening up he left the valet to unpack in the cottage and strolled back to the main house, into the comfortable lounge. In the intimate atmosphere of these resorts, the lounge had deliberately been designed as the focal point of the main house. Doorways opened off the lounge into the dining room and the bar. The lounge itself was a muti purpose room. Comfortable couches were scattered through out the room, the large bay windows housed more intimate seating, comfortable chairs that invited guests to linger in them as they looked out of the windows or preferred to observe the going ons of the lounge from a distance. The open hearth firplace in the centre of the room already crackled with a log fire that scented the air. A few people were sitting and chatting, some were reading. Making his way in unobtrusively Jai settled in one of the more obscure window seats. An attentive waiter came over immediately to take his order.
Jai sipped his whiskey and observed the wide range and variety of his guests as the lounge began to fill up. The only thing all his guests had in common was the economic standing to be able to afford a stay here. Many were by now aqquaintances and it showed as greetings were exchanged and the hum of soft conversation created small pockets in the lounge. Many others were sitting and reading, some were just relaxing. Jai was content to sit quietly and enjoy the anonymity, concentrating on the breathtaking view outside.
The resort was designed to give each cottage a sense of privacy, and yet not let them be isolated. The architectural layout was planned as star, albeit a drunken lurching star; the main house was the centre point and radiating outwards in six directions were the cottages. Two on each path, but not directly in each other's view line, hence the drunkenness of the star shape. The staff cottages and other maintainence buildings were discreetly tucked away further back. From here they were not even visible.
The shadows had begun to lengthen and in the distance the purple mountains beckoned, the forest stood in the near distance, and in between the trees lights twinkled here and there where the cottages were nestled. As he looked out a figure appeared on one of the path ways, a slender, hunched female form, unrecognisable in her worn jeans and a light sweatshirt with the hood pulled down. There was a nagging sense of familiarity in the slender sway of that body, which had Jai leaning forward trying to see who it was. And then the last rays of the dying sun all seemed to centre in on her, bathing her figure in an orange blaze so bright that his eyes watered. And then she was gone. Shaking his head, he returned to his drink. Just as he stood up to go into the dining room, having finished his drink, she walked into the lounge.
He stilled in shock as she pushed her hood back.
It was Bani. Or at least a pale shadow of Bani.
She was ill, was his first thought. The flesh seemed to have melted off her bones, throwing their undeniably elegant lines into a stark profile that bordered on emaciation. And her hair. That glorious fall of silk was gone. She was shorn, with only a feathery, super short cap of hair. Her eyes seemed too big for her face…..as she exchanged greetings with a person here and a smile with someone there, Jai found himself stepping back into the shadows, ensuring that she could not see him.
That did not stop her eyes from scanning the room, her gaze from turning again and again towards the windows…….as she had been walking upto the main house, she had looked up and she could have sworn that for one moment before the sun had glinted off the glass windows with blinding intensity there had been a dark haired man……unbidden Jai's obsidian eyes swam into her thoughts……something about the way that head had been angled…..the set of shoulders……and then the sun struck and she had rounded the corner. She could not see anyone…….must have been a figment of my imagination she told herself as she tried to pay attention to Otto's rambling story of the changes in Almora form when he had last visited it as a hippie in the 70's.
Jai stood on the dark verandah of his cottage, smoking absently as he contemplated. He had retreated noiselessly, and had had a quiet dinner in his cottage.
Bani was the last person he had expected to see here. And to see her in this state was a far greater shock than he was even prepared to acknowledge. The shock that he was prepared to acknowledge was monumental enough. The concern, the worry, the tender protectiveness that had welled up in him when he saw her frightned him. His first unguarded instinct had been to fold her in his arms…..and take care of her…..
Rain had begun to fall; a torrential heavy downpour. Water fell in driving sheets, jagged flashes of lightening lit up the mountains and still he stood, smoking endlessly….waiting, little did he realise it, for that slender form to appear in front of him. Somehow, without knowing how he just knew that she would appear. She had to.
The umbrella was a futile formality, Bani decided as she was soaked wih in a minute of setting out of the main house. But she didn't mind the soaking…..the walk back to her cottage would only take a couple of minutes and so she had opted not to be dropped back by the car the staff had organised for the othe guests. She was strangely rattled by that fraction of a second when she had imagined Jai to be looking out of the window. She wanted to be alone.
As she turned down the path that led to her cottage she was a little surprised to discover that after all this while, the cottage before her's was occupied; the lights were on. Must have arrived today evening, the cottage had been empty when she ahd left for her evening walk, from where she had headed straight back to the main house for dinner.
Bani, wet and frail, appeared on the pathway, holding on to an umbrella that hadn't managed to prevent an inch of her from getting soaked. She was oblivious to his presence, head bent low to avoid being stung in the face by the hard driving rain. Paying no attention to the rain Jai stepped off the verandah and walked towards her.
A pair of feet, well shod in leather shoes that would be ruined after the soaking they were getting, appeared in her line of vision. She looked up.
Her eyes widened in incomprehension. Jai. A leaner, harsher faced Jai. But Jai, the Jai whose face had disturbed her sleep for more nights than she could recall. He was standing in front of her. right here, right now.
The rain fell in sheets and thunder boomed in the distance. But for Jai and Bani the silence was deafening. And then, just as he opened his mouth to say something…….unsure about what he was going to say she fainted, landing in heap at his feet, still clutching the umbrella.
As Jai gently unclenched her fingers from her death grip on the umbrella and then gently lifted the slight body in his arms, he was not aware of the small tender smile that curved his lips.
"Leave it to you Bani," he told her, clasping her unconscious form to his chest, "to never fail to startle me."
Bani opened her eyes and for one short moment thought she had dreamt it all up and then the next moment Jai returned to the bedside with a towel in his hands. And she knew she had not dreamed it up.
As he reached out to dry her face with the towel Bani flinched automatically. His face tightened, but he wordlessly held out the towel.
She reached out her hand gingerly to take it only to have him hold her hand and examine with sudden, narrow eyed interest the long thin scar that marred her left hand.
"what happened?" he asked in a hard demanding voice.
"Nothing," she replied tonelessly and then seeing the look that flashed on face, pre-empted him, "nothing that concerns you in any case."
And without bothering with the towel stood up.
He protested, in a curt voice, "lie down. You fainted for god's sake! And you look ill."
"I'm fine. It was just shock."
And as she walked towards the door, turned and colourlessly said, "thank you."
As she opened the door, he caught her by the shoulder and turned her around, "it's raining, you fool and I hardly think that you are upto another jaunt on your own."
Slowly she removed his hand from her shoulder, the touch of her fragile hand on his warm, capable hands affecting him powerfully. And she walked out into the rain.
He followed her. Wearily she raised her head and said, "Jai. What I do or what happens to me is not your concern. And you made that choice."
There seemed to be nothing to say that.
As he watched her disappear into the rain, Jai remained where he was for a long time, oblivious to the rain and the cold.
As he showered to warm himself up and then got into bed the image refused to change. In his mind, frozen forever it seemed, was the expression in her eyes as she had come to from her faint and looked at him.
For one unguarded moment sheer joy and love had flashed in them, making her eyes sparkle, the green glinting in the brown depths, almost hungrily they had roamed over his face. And then, the next moment they had become dull, lifeless, quivering pools of sorrow and pain as she had pulled herself together.
The eyes haunted him. He dreamed of them. And in his dreams they did not become veiled and sad again.
The next day…..
Bani was running though a forest, fleeing from something but the branches caught at her and slowed her down, hitting her in the chest till she felt she could no longer breathe…..it was going to catch up with her……and then thunder boomed, kept on booming till her world was filled with noise….a shrill cacophony of noise that had her wincing and then there was blessed silence and she was no longer running through the forest. She was in the water and she was drowning…..and then suddenly strong arms were around her….and a murmuring voice……she opened her eyes and blearily a face swam into focus….Jai, she screamed but she could not hear her own voice….and then a cool hand was stroking her forehead and she was nestled against a warm, warm chest and the steady thud of a hearbeat soothed and her eyes closed, there would be no more nightmares…..she was safe….she could let go….
Jai was worried out of his wits as he held the burning body of Bani in his arms and waited with barely controlled patience for the doctor to arrive.
At ten in the morning he had finally decided that enough was enough. Walking away form her was not even an option. Not anymore. Not after seeing her again last night and not after the emotions she had evoked.
After breakfast he had walked over to her cottage determined to talk to her. What they would do he had no idea. But that this impasse had gone on long enough, he was certain of. But as the gentle knocking gave way to harsh hammering, Bani, to his mounting concern did not respond. It seemed to take forever to walk to the main house and get the master key. He stopped pretending and just ran back to her cottage.
Bani was lying in the bed, her white night dress soaked in sweat, her short hair glistened wet and she was moaning softly as she feebly tossed and turned. Jai tried to shake her into wakefulness and his heart skipped a beat, Bani was burning up with a fever. Reaching for the bedside phone he called up the manager and in a staccato voice ordered him to locate and bring a doctor up to the cottage immediately. And then turning to Bani, he thought for a second before getting a wet washcloth form the bathroom. As he placed it on her heated brow, for a split second she opened her eyes and then slowly her lids drooped back. Her lips moved but no sound came out. He thought she had said Jai but he was not sure and soon she seemed to be sinking into unconsciousness. But he gave up trying to cool her fevered forehead and settled instead for gathering her in his arms and murmuring low voiced assurances that seemed to soothe her, she stopped moving restlessly and instead nestled her head against his chest like a child seeking comfort.
The prognosis was worrying. She had pneumonia, fluid had begun building up in her lungs,and her body seemed to have no strength to put up a fight.
The doctor was keen on round the clock nursing but was reassured by the determination on Jai's face as he assured the doctor that all the instructions would be followed to the letter and that Bani would not be alone.
Taking command Jai had Bani's belongings packed and shifted to his cottage. Bani made the trip unconscious, in Jai's arms.
It was dark when she woke up. She was disoriented and slightly groggy. All she could remember were a jumble of confused sequences. Incredibly all of them involved Jai; propping her up and spoon feeding her broth, or holding her head in an implacable grip as he forced vile tasting medicines down her throat, wiping her body with a blessedly cool cloth when she felt as if her body was burning……..she sat up and then realised just how much strength even that simple act required. Feeling thirsty she turned to the bedside table, where she could see a jug and a glass. She found herself unable to hold the jug and it landed abck on the table with a thud. A rustling sound had her head turning and led to the realisation that Jai was occupying the other half of the bed. His eyes opened, seeing her awake and upright, he immediately sat up and snapped on a bedside lamp.
"how are you feeling?" he asked with concern
"thirsty," she managed to whisper.
Immediately he got out of the bed and coming round to her side, sat down and pouring a glass of water held it to her lips as she sipped at it.
"how are you feeling?" he asked gently.
"what happened? This isn't my cottage."
"you have pneumonia……you fainted three days ago and after the drenching you got, woke up the next morning with pneumonia and this is my cottage. I shifted you here…..somebody had to take care of you…."
"and who elected you for the job?" she asked with a flash of her old spirit, but the effect was ruined by the coughing.
Immediately he held up the glass of water.
She took a sip and just looked at him, in the way that women have. Must be genetic, Jai decided with a suppressed grin. Exhausted, definitely at a physical disadvantage and still she managed to look down her nose, demanding an answer like a school teacher.
"I didn't exactly see a stampede of candidates!" he shot back.
She managed to glare at him, which given the circumstances was quite an achievement according to Jai.
"later," he told her firmly, tucking her in, "you need the rest." With a mutinous glare she subsided, loath to admit it to him she might be, but she was feeling tired.
The room was bathed in bright sunlight when she opened her eyes. Taking a deep breath and stretching experimentally she cast a quick glance around the room. Jai was no where to be seen. Good, she would rather not have an audience for what she wanted to do, which was to see if was strong enough to manage on her own.
The first two hesitant steps towards the bathroom emboldened her enough to hasten her pace. Which proved to be her undoing. As her legs buckled strong arms enfolded her from behind and a moment later she was swung up in his arms.
"what the hell do you think you are doing?"
"I was trying to go to the bathroom to have a bath," she managed to get out between rasping breaths, "if you must know."
"why?" he asked with drawn out patience.
"because, I don't want to have you taking care of me," she muttered ungraciously.
Sighing he began to carry her to the bathroom.
"what do you think you are doing?" she asked.
"taking you for a bath."
"I can manage on my own," she said waspishly, "put me down."
He ignored her and just shouldered the bathroom door open. As he stood her down in the shower stall, she put out a hand to the wall because she did not think she could actually stand up on her own. As he began to unbutton his shirt, she asked blankly, "what are you doing?"
"getting undressed. I don't enjoy taking a shower with clothes on."
"I am the one taking the shower and I would appreciate some privacy," she said stubbornly.
Paying no heed to her he finished stripping and calmly began to unbutton her nightshirt.
She swatted at his hands ineffectually, "get lost, Jai," she said irritatedly, trying to ignore the impact of his body on her senses.
"get lost? If I get lost and leave you on your own you will fall flat on your bony behind!" he said in exasperation as he managed to unbutton her nightshirt and began to slide it off her shoulders, "God, preserve me from stubborn women," he finished.
"God is too busy trying to preserve us beleagured women from men like you!" she said rudely as he turned the water on, and then shrieked, "are you trying to kill me?" as a jet of cold water hit her body full force.
Drawing her shivering body into the warmth of his own he shut off the tap and turned opened the other one, saying contritely, "sorry!"
Breakfast on the verandah was strangely peaceful, Bani seemed to have decleared a truce.
"feel strong enough to go out for a little while?" Jai asked after the doctor had come and checked her over and while declaring himself to be satisfied on the way she was responding to the medications still insisted on giving her lecture. On how she should not take her health lightly, and look after herself better.
"yes. I would love to get out for a while," Bani said with a resigned sigh. For his own inscrutable reason Jai wanted to take care of her and she just did not have the strength to resist it anymore; physically or emotionally. Feeling unusually close to tears, she turned her face away from Jai, loath to let him see her with tears.
But he saw them anyway, and leaning over turned her face towards him with one hand. Gently wiping her tears away with the other hand he said softly, "I think you should ask me where we are going."
"where?" she responded obediently.
"to the Devi temple a few kilometres away, the priest is waiting to marry us," he said matter of factly.
It took a long moment for the words to sink in.
"why? you don't trust me or even love me…" she asked tiredly.
"maybe I don't. and if you are honest you will admit that you don't trust me either. But I've realised the one thing that makes a marriage to you inevitable for me."
"what?"
"I need you," he said simply, his voice ringing with sincerity, his eyes holding hers captive.
"and love?" she whispered.
"I don't think I am capable of love….'Kehte hain...
har kisi ko muqammal jahaan nahi milta
kabhi zamee toh kabhi aasamaa nahi milta……,'" he said with a sigh.
Bani knew then and there that no matter how little of himself he wanted to share of himself with her, she wanted to fill his world with happiness, with colour and most of all with love.
She remained silent for so long that a tiny tendril of doubt began to uncurl in his heart. But he knew better than to push and he had said all that he could.
Finally she spoke, "I think you'd better help me get dressed."
He looked at her in puzzlement, she was dressed in a pair of jeans and one of his sweaters, "you are dressed."
She gave him a very straight look, "I am not getting married in anything except a sari. This is a once a lifetime event. You'd better understand that. There will be no divorces and so no repeat performances. And understand too that I can live with you not loving me but I cannot live with you cheating on me. Ever. The day you do that I will curl up and die."
Bani was exhausted and Jai carried her from the temple to the SUV. He tenderly settled her in and then placed their garlands in the back seat before buckling himself in and driving back. Resting her head against the window she smiled at him.
"it was perfect Jai. The tiny little stone temple, which must have been here for a couple of centuries at least. And the hillside, with their tall deodhar tress, they are so beautiful and so green……and I loved the intimacy of the ceremony," she trailed off dreamily and then drifted into sleep.
Seeing his wife look content filled him with deep sense of contentment.
Bani woke up only long enough to change into a fresh nightgown and then went to sleep.
XXII
Love is the bright foreigner, the foreign self
&n bsp; Ralph Waldo Emerson.
The journey back to delhi, which Jai had made in one day was now broken into two, since his wife's health was far too fragile to be overtaxed.
They spent the night in the "Mountain Mist View" Resort at Nainital, where the penny finally dropped for Bani, that Jai owned the resorts as well. He was amused.
"didn't you wonder how I was had access to the master keys, had you shifted to my cottage…..why would the staff obey me with out a single question?" he quizzed her.
"no…I just assumed you were being you…autocratically you," she confessed.
"I'm glad to know that you think I have that much authority over people in general but actually that is not quite true."
She looked unconvinced.
Nestled into his side as the SUV carried them back to Delhi (Jai had got a driver from Nainital so that he was free to sit in the backseat with his wife!) Jai finaly asked about the scar on her hand.
"I hurt it accidentally….on a mirror which was broken…"
He remained silent, quizzing her with his eyes till she softly confessed, "oh all right, I broke the mirror with my hand..because I was unhappy and the cut was rather serious….needed stitches……thank god I did not damage my hand permanently….Raghav said I came close to it…." And then trailed off, having mentioned Raghav.
To her shock Jai was more concerned with her injury than Raghav. When she finally asked him outright he merely said, "I do think that as soon as we get back Raghav should check you up properly…..it's been a week and you are still far too weak and thin."
She was silent for a long moment andv then just decided to say it, "you aren't ….going to er…doubt the nature of my relationship with him?"
"No. I am done with those doubts. I was angry when I said all those horrible things, I just wanted to hurt you..." he said with such honesty and simplicity that she was stunned into silence. She entwined one of her hands with his and rested her head on his shoulder. And told him about her first meeting with Raghav and how they subsequently became friends and his wonderful son and the beautiful Sara whom he still mourned and loved.
In turn Jai told her about the friendship he had discovered with Roshni and the scheming plans of Ranveer and Nachiket, which had sent him off to Almora.
"Now I owe them, but I am going to let them suffer for a little while," he announced with anticipation.
It was late in the evening when they arrived at Delhi and Jai automatically began to direct the driver to take them to the hotel he had been satying in when Bani cut in, "in case you've forgotten, we have a house in delhi….the farmhouse, remember?"
"I thought, you had a house in delhi," he admitted.
"I did. And now we do."
The next morning, while Bani was under strict instructions to rest, which Jai gave to both Jaya and Bhadur (and who seemed to be willing to obey him with alacrity now that they knew that Bani had married him!) Jai went into the city to take care of things, personal and business.
"I do believe that I will threaten the barely recovering health of quite a few people just by showing up," he quipped, a wicked gleam of anticipation lighting up his eyes.
"why?" she asked in puzzlement, sure having your boss turn could be irritating but ruining their health was a bit much.
"because for the last six months I have been a bear with a sore head, snapping and snarling at everyone," he told her quite happily as he purloined a piece of toast from her plate at the breakfast table.
"in fact they will all overwhelm you with their undying gratitude for marrying me and putting me in a better mood!" and with that prediction he was gone.
As Jai strode into the office building with a frown marring his forehead, Ranveer who had accidentally spied his entrance hastily made his way to Nachiket.
"he's back, and by the frown on his face, it didn't work."
For a minute they both panicked about the status of their own skins and then it hit them, and they bothe slumped into chairs dejectedly. It hadn't worked. And they had been so certain that Jai and Bani were meant for each other……..especially when Jai had been in Almora for over 12 days and no angry phone call or a bolt of thunder had come their way…..
Jai enjoyed the panic that flashed across the faces as he strode down the hallway to Nachiket's office. Ranveer's office was empty, the two must now be huddled together, desperately trying to concoct an explanation, he decided.
He wasn't prepared for the sadness on their faces as they turned to greet his appearance.
There was silence and then they broke it, "we so hoped that things would turn out differently," Ranveer said.
Nachiket added, "we just wanted happiness for both of you……and we belived that you would find it together. we are so sorry."
When Jai remained silent, they both looked at each other and then said contritely, "we are sorry."
"sorry huh?" Jai spoke finally, "well, it's too late. What's done can't be undone. My wife and I will expect you both for dinner tomorrow at the farmhouse. Don't be late," and he casually turned and began to walk out.
It took ten seconds and then they both grabbed at him like kids, completely forgetting their age and the maturity they worked so hard at projecting.
Jai was still laughing when he got away half an hour later, and even then they let him go only because he told them that he had to go to legally register his marriage and then go buy a gift for Bani. He suspected it was the latter reason that made them let go of him.
He suspected, quite correctly that as soon as he left the office they would be heading off to meet Bani. Well, he had warned them that she was unwell, and that she needed her rest, so he was certain they would be at pains not to over tire her.
Bani had a busy morning. As soon as Jai left she called up Rumaan. There was a special favour she wanted pulled off, a rush job. The call went along entirely expected lines; Rumaan threw up his hands and swore it could not be done, Bani cajoled, wheedled and then ordered. He sulkily said fine and then settled down excitedly to hear the gossip (his word, not her's!). and then swore on his very much alive grandmother's grave that the work would be done by late afternoon even if he personally had to put the frame on himself.
And then Ranveer and Nachiket showed up. Smothering her in hugs and unable to keep the delighted grins off their faces they invited themselves over for lunch, explored the gardens, declared ecstatically that they both wanted to live here too, with their bhai/mamaji and bahbi/mami so would they please start constructing more bedrooms?
Bani could not stop laughing till her stomach hurt over that request, she was just dying to suggest it to Jai, and watch his reaction.
After lunch they stood guard and made sure she had her medication on time and then reported to Jai and then following new instructions forced her to retire for an afternoon nap. Then they left but only after indignantly protesting about not being invited for dinner that very evening.
"talk to Jai," Bani laughed, "as far as I am concerned you two can move in this afternoon, only you'll have to sleep on folding beds in the living room."
After her nap she spoke to Rano and then Raghav, who would be returning to delhi the next morning. She invited him for the dinner on the following day as well. No exlanations were needed with Raghav, he understood her reasons perfectly. Rano had been a lot harder to pacify.
…… "needs you? what kind of a sop is that?" Rano asked, nearly hyperventilating over the phone.
Bani sighed, "don't you get it Rano? maybe to love means to want to be with someone but to need someone is to be incomplete…….you can hate someone and still need them…..hey look, one, it works for me. And two, I think I have enough love for the both of us. And three, you are now giving me a headache…so for my sake, just accept it. Besides as my mother said, he doesn't have to perfect, just perfect for me. And he is. Ok? I love him, I need him and I am willing to be happy with whatever part of him he is willing to share with me."
"No disrespect intended but have started attending sances?" Rano asked worriedly.
Bani had to stop laughing before she could tell Rano about the letter.
"OK. I guess I already knew that you are nuts over him and all this one, two, three business……but I just had to get it out of my system….but if he ever, EVER makes you unhappy, don't you dare stop me then. I am warning you, right now!"
Daylight was waning and the rain had stopped. The world looked washed of its grime and the air smelled of new sap and rich, moist earth as Jai finally returned home.
Bani looking fresh and happy in a casual salwar kameez, seemed barely able to contain her anticipation. Rumaan had pulled off the job, had infact made the delivery in a personal trip, which also enabled him to get some more gossip.
Jai returned to the living room after a shower to find dinner laid on the table and Bani dismissing Jaya for the night.
As they told each other about their day, Bani's eyes sparkled and Jai smiled. Finally, she could contain herself no longer and as soon as he finished eating dessert blurted out, "I've got a surprise for you."
"I was wondering how long you could contain yourself," he teased.
"how did you know?"
"your eyes."
"oh!....well, now you go and sit in the living room and close your eyes, until I tell you to open them. Promise?"
He obediently followed instructions, although the receding sound of her footstep and the reappearance a few minutes later had him saying in a warning tone, "please tell me you did not trudge up all those stairs….how many times do I have to tell you, you are still ill?"
"I'm fine! Trust me! Okay now open your eyes."
She was pointing to a large rectangular package gift wrapped in a lurid neon paper and tied with a red bow, propped up on a chair..
"I know, I know the colour is a bit much…..blame Rumaan," she ws saying excitedly.
And then gesturing to wards it, said, "It's for you. it was always for you even though at that time…." And she trailed off.
He unwrapped it and fell silent. It was a painting. Of his house 'Jannat,' and the artist had signed in the corner. Saraswati.
Something went click in Jai's brain, things which had seemed random and unconnected till now fell into a seamless pattern, and he could not belive how blind he had been till now. It had always been there, right in front of him….
He remained silent for so long that Bani began to grow nervous. Gathering her courage she finally ventured, "you don't like the gift?"
He looked at her, an intimate smile that made her toes curl dawned across her face. Pulling her into the curve of his shoulder he said in a husky voice, "I like all three of my gifts….i suppose I should have realised this a long time ago….that you are Saraswati. I've been rather blind. The locked room here, the sketch book…."
She looked at him for a long moment, there was so much to say but suddenly she felt she did not need to say anything……" I wish I had told you a lot earlier….i came close to it that day when you asked to see my sketch book before we left for that dinner….."
Remembering that moment wih absolute clarity he decided to match her honesty, "I thought you did not want to show it to me and that really hurt me."
"I was a little surprised when you asked me…..i am not used to sharing this aspect of my life and I was very surprised at how easily I wanted to let you ino that part of my life….i tend to be very private….even Rano has never actually seen my studio…." She finished huskily.
And then she asked softly, "would you like to go up there?" and the naked vulnerability on her face, the unguarded trust illuminating her eyes and making them glow made his breath catch.
"how about in the morning? I don't think I can handle four gifts at one go," he told her with an uguarded smile of happiness.
"four?" a tiny frown pleated her forehead.
"well, the painting is one. It's of 'Jannat,' which means that now officially I will always have my own, love filled copy of the house, which by the way is now legally your's. Three, you shared with me the fact that you are actually Sarawati. And four, that you invited me up to the studio…..and at this moment I am not sure which of the four humbles me the most but I do know that the sum total makes me feel like one deliriously lucky and happy man…."
The next morning Bani roused Jai at what, according to him was an unearthly hour. "It's best at sunrise," she told him. He just tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes as he insisted on swinging her up in his arms, determined that she should not overtire herself.
Another surprise awaited him. Portraits of himself. He looked at them in disbelief. And then finally asked, "my god Bani, how much I hurt you and how much you love me…"
The caterers set up the food and departed. The flowers were finally done to Bani's satisfaction and she finally left to get dressed. She was running late as it was. She emerged form the shower stall to find that Jai was back and busy shaving. "shower's free," she called out as she began to dry herself. Dropping a kiss on her head as he went by her, he called out, "Bani I really think we need to put up another room next to your studio upstairs, as my study. Is that ok with you?"
"Sure. I'll give you the number of the architect who designed this house, talk to him. In fact while you are at it, tell him we also need two more bedrooms upstairs," she answered nonchalantly and then waited, counting to five.
At three his head poked out of the shower stall, "bedrooms? What are you trying to tell me?" he asked in puzzlement.
"Ranveer and Nachiket want to live here with us while we are in delhi."
His expression was priceless. Her peal of laughter was outright provocation and the guests had already begun to arrive by the time they got dressed.
As she made to leave the bedroom he stopped her.
"there is something….i completely forgot yesterday to give it to you," he admitted sheepishly as he pulled out a box.
Opening it he took out an exquisitely set ring; a huge ruby set amidst diamonds.
"since that night when you wore my mother's earrings, I have decided that rubies and diamonds are your stones," he told her.
After sliding the ring on her finger he took out another box. "and this is to….brand you," he proclaimed with satisfaction, as he took out an elegant wedding band set with diamonds and rubies as well.
And then he floored her completely by pulling out a plain gold wedding band and handing to her with a husky, "and this is for you to put on my finger…to brand me."
As they walked out to the gardens where the part was being hosted they walked into general teasing for being such tardy hosts that they were late for their own party, Bani blushed and Jai simply looked satisfied.
Astounding Jai with their request to live with him and Bani was not the only surprise Ranveer and Nachiket had pulled off. In addition to them and Raghav, Jai's family had flown in form Bombay as had Rano, Tarun and Roshni. Jai was touched by this, especially when he saw the warmth with which Jigyasa and Maasi welcomed Bani into the family.
Jigyasa forcefully informed Banii that she was to be called 'jigyasadi' and not jigyasa or Mrs.Bali. Jai was puzzled by the undercurrent that seemed to pass , but since both, his sister and his wife looked happy he decided to not probe further. For now.
Well into the evening as Bani, under the strict orders of her husband and doctor was sitting (well, she quietly admitted to herself that she was tired but that was no reason for Jai and Raghav to double up against her!) a little to one side when Roshni joined her.
"Can i?" she asked indicating the chair next to her.
Bani graciously nodded, although she was not very happy at the prospect of a tete a tete with Roshni. Roshni had been exquisitely polite in company but Bani was not sure that the claws would remain sheathed for her alone.
"I wanted to apologise," Roshni began awkwardly.
"you don't have to apologise for what you said at the party….it's ok. I understand," Bani said.
"hear me out…..after the party I …I was the one who…supplied a lot of…gossip…to the tabloids," she admitted in a low voice, not looking at Bani, " I was jealous and I was…and I know I did….hurt you….and for that I am sorry.." she trailed off.
Bani took a deep breath before saying, "I did not know about that….but….i still forgive you. Because you are Jai's friend. And if you like, I think we too can be friends."
At this Roshni did turn to look at Bani's face and after a long moment nodded, "yes, I think I would like that."
And then she asked, "just how much about our past relationship has Jai told you?"
Bani shook her head, "not much. I just gathered that you and Jai used to be together at one time. But that's all. And now, he just told me that you and he have become good friends. Why?"
"I think you ought to know, if you don't mind….i think it'll help you understand my rather pig headed friend a little better…." and with that Roshni told Bani the truth in a few simple words, making no attempt to gloss over the deficiencies of her own behaviour.
By the time she finished, both she and Bani did have tears in their eyes because both, in their own way were empathising with the unrequited love of a young woman.
Before anyone else could notice their teary eyed state and comment on it, Bani suggested they both head inside and use the restrooms.
The one off the dining room was occupied so Bani led her to the bedroom. Roshni stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the painting over the bed.
"what?" Bani asked in puzzlement.
"do you know what poinsettia's mean to Jai?" she asked with urgency.
"what are you talking about?" a bewildered Bani asked again.
"Jai has told you that he does not love you, hasn't he?" Roshni asked abruptly.
"How do you know that?" Bani asked in surprise.
"incidentally, he does love you, just does not admit it to himself. and no, he did not tell me either. It's got to do with something else entirely…..the reason Jai thinks he can never love a woman. It's got everything to do with the woman he calls Angel."
The colour drained from Bani's face, "what are you talking about?" she whispered.
Roshni sat hewr down on the bed and told her about it all; about how Jai had begun to even consider looking at Roshni as a woman only because she accidentally stirred the memory of his 'Angel' by putting a poinsettia flower in her hair…..and that Jai had finally told her about the only woman he had ever been in love with….a stranger whom he met only once…..and how much he regretted not knowing who she was….
Bani was torn between laughter and tears by the time Roshni finished.
That stubborn, silly, loyal, lovable, idiotic darling of man!
She would not explain anything to Roshni, only hugged her tightly and said, "you know Roshni, I think you and I going to be great friends!"
Dinner was long over. Jai had, with the connivance of Raghav shooed everyone away, including Maasi, who it seems had a million things to confide in her Bahu about Jai, and could not wait for the project in Delhi to be over so Jai and Bani would return to Bombay.
Ranveer and Nachiket had to be bribed; Jai promised them that eventually they could both live here with him and Bani. In his mind he defined 'eventually' as close to never!
Raghav and Jai had hit it off well, which was ultimately not in the least surprising. On that not so long ago summer day, a jealous Jai had refused to see what had been obvious, that the curt, brusque doctor was only being a friend to Bani. And Raghav was now willing to concede that the cold, harsh Jai of that day bore little resemblance to this tender, over protective Jai whose biggest concern seemed to be to get Bani to put on some weight.
As Jaya and Bahadur and some hired staff took care of the most urgent details, leaving the rest till the next day, Jai and Bani strolled in the garden.
The rich smell of moist earth mingled with the aroma of fertility that impregnates all green, living things and is the special gift of monsoons. The half moon played peek-a-boo with the black storm clouds that promised a rich outpouring later in the night. And almost shyly the gentle fragrance of frangipani wafted over them.
Jaya and the staff left. Jaya shared a speaking look with Jai, as if warning him not to overtire Bani, which Jai accepted and nodded to with uncharacteristic meekness. Bani smiled.
"Jai," she said softly, clasping his hand, "you are an idiot."
"of course I am," he said complacently, "after marriage, every man is."
"yes that too, but I mean in a very special sense."
"what?"
"you've forgotten to give me the most important gift of all…" she said with an enchanting airy sniff.
Enthralled all over again by the quicksilver aspects of Bani, which were what had captured his imagination in the first place, he smiled and asked, "and that is?"
"A song. Every couple has to have a song. Otherwise their life is incomplete!"
"I have been most remiss!"
"yes you have. And I expect you to rectify it this very instant!"
"very well, shall we?' he asked, indicating the house.
"No most certainly not! You shall go in and figure out what our song should be and put in on. I will wait here and see whether your choice meets with my approval."
"and if it doesn't?"
"then you'll just have to keep trying, won't you?"
"and if you approve?"
"then you shall be handsomely rewarded," she said magnanimously.
As she waited in the darkness she smiled. Tonight Jai was going to come face to face with his angel, even if she to bludgeon that little fact into his head. And she had a feeling that she would have to. She sighed, she was, to be honest, just the teeniest bit afraid. It was hard to measure up to a memory and even harder to measure upto an idealised version. Even of oneself.
Jai was lost in thought as he went over her extensive collection. This would work, that one would fit….and then he closed his eyes, he had a feeling that this was too important for mere logic. The whimsical, magical creature who had commanded him with such beguiling charm had not been able to hide the flash of vulnerability and apprehension that had appeared for a split second in her eyes. With his eyes half closed he let his mind wander……if he had to sum up Bani and himself how would he do it? As always, the truth that had eluded Jai's mind was always in the grasp of his instincts, his sub-conscious.
His eyes opened in shock. That one? Was he ready to do this? Was he ready to let go of his memory and replace it with a flesh and blood reality?
Yes, he decided, maybe it was time, time to let go and to start living. It's not good bye you know, he told her in his head, it's a thank you. Because of you I learnt to live again when I was ready to give up on my life. And it's a talisman….you brought such incandescent light into my life on a dark, dark night…..i hope now that you will allow the rest of my life to be lit up with light too.
He inserted the cd in, set it on a two minute delayed timer and walked out.
Clasping her hand he guided her to the verandah and there pulled her into his arms, in the posture of a dance partner. Automatically taking her position she said, "but where is the music?"
"all good things come to those who wait," he said.
And then she heard it.
The opening crescendo, before the whiskey voice of Sinatra began crooning about stranger's in the night…..
He began to lead and she followed, her body melting into his…….
Halfway through the song he whispered into her ear, "I gather madam approves?"
She raised shining eyes to his and with her lips only a breath away form his whispered, "oh yes, she does….very much……" and then kissed him.
Long after the song finished she was still standing on the verandah, kissing him.
Finaly they stopped kissing.
"I gather I am going to get rewarded then?' he teased softly.
In response she lead him inside and letting go his hand walked towards the bedroom, throwing a casual, "shut the doors will you? I don't want to scandalise any peacocks that look in accidentally."
As he shut the door and began to head to the bedroom, her voice called out, "no, don't come in. sit in the living room, on the sofa and close your eyes until I tell you to open them."
Fascinated he obeyed. When he opened his eyes, it was to find all the lights turned off. The living room was illuminated only by a few strategically placed flickering candles. His wife was standing in front of him wrapped in a stunning chiffon saree in turquoise, spangled with sequins all over, so that it glimmered and glittered with the slightest movement.
"Your reward is to have your own version of the dance of the seven veils…" she told him with a provocative smile, "but you can't get up until I tell you…" she told him with a teasing glance.
The husky provocativeness in her voice and the glints in her eyes told him that it would be uncomfortable as hell, but more than worth it…and then the music beagn.
It had a low, insistent beat underneath the melody and it made him think of long, hot Mediterranean afternoons and women dancing the flamenco…….and then his wife began to sway to the rhythm and his eyes nearly popped out. Bani knew belly dancing?
Soon his breathing grew harder…and then it nearly stopped altogether as she realised that her costume consisted of just three items: her sari, the scarf that had been tied across her breast as a bustier and a pair of panties. Seven? His wife had a funny way of counting he thought frantically, trying to control himself.
By the time the scarf fluttered to the ground, he began to doubt his hitherto famous self control. Her could see the generous outlines of her breasts under their thin covering of chiffon. And then, with tantalising glimpses of her legs another apparel of clothing was discarded. And that left one, he thought with a half strangulated groan.
He groaned out loud and gritted his teeth…..
But when a length of the sari began to trail the floor he gave up. As he watched her back swaying in a sinous rhythm, it's length slick with beads of sweat of that caused her skin to glisten he got up and joined her.
Her naked back was pressed against his chest and his hands were slowly trailing across her stomach as his lips alternated between sucking and trailing small, nibbling kisses across her shoulders.
"you're cheating.."
"so, sue me…."
His hands encircled her waist, making her feel deliciously fragile before moving up, caressing and teasing her skin. They brushed the undersided of her breasts, which began to feel heavy and ache. But he teased her, refusing to take them into his large, capable hands. Concentrating instead on drawing lazy circles around them. His lips were now exploring her clavicles, her head was thrown back into the crook of his shoulder…..as his lips found that spot below her ears her legs threatended to buckle…..
"two can play this game," she warned him.
his response was a throaty chuckle.
She turned in his arms and with languorous movements slid his jacket off and began to unbutton his shirt.
He looked into her face with a glittering, determined expression. Her expression would have put Salome to shame. His hands were caressing the side of her hips, teasing her, taunting her, pulling her close for an instant before pulling away.
She gave him a look from under her lashes that threatened to sizzle him, and then the shirt was unbuttoned.
For a long, satisfying moment she pressed herself flush against the masculine hardness of his chest that was such an agonising counterpoint to the full softness of her's.
The next instant she withdrew and bending her head began to trail wet, open mouthed kisses down the tanned column of his neck. He drew in a sharp breath and then her lips were hovering so close to his nipples that he could feel the moistness of her breath on them. And they tightened obligingly, waiting for the touch that was so tortourously close…….
"Bani…." he breathed on a groan.
"yes Jai?" she asked innocently, a tiny triumphant smile flirting with her lips.
He just looked at her.
And then she took them in her mouth, gently kissing first one and then the other.
His gave up, conceeded defeat and swinging her in his arms headed into the bedroom.
Much later, cradling her damp body in his, he tried to find the words but his wife beat him to it.
"Jai I want you to know something," said the glowing goddess sprawled across his chest.
"what?' he asked, gently running his fingers through her sweat slicked hair.
" you are my 'bright foreigner, my foreign self.'"
A tiny part of him was no longer surprised, "it was you," he said softly.
She nodded.
"Angel," he groaned and hugged her tightly.
"your very own stranger….." she told him, her voice a little muffled since her head was tucked tightly into the crook of his neck.
"how did you know that I would choose that song?" he asked finally.
"I didn't. I just hoped you would."
"and if I hadn't?"
"I would have waited till you did, even if I had to wait all my life," she told him simply.
"that long? How can you have that much faith in me?" he asked in disbelief.
"because my stranger has never let me down. Not once."
"and that quote, do you know how much I tried to locate it?"
"really?" she asked delightedly
"yes, really," he grumped, before asking, "where is it from and what does it mean?"
"simple, Ralph Waldo Emerson, 'Love is the bright foreigner, the foreign self.'"
"that was your response to my 'love is a grand illusion?'" he asked in wonderment and disbelief.
"tell me about it! I must have been crazy….but it just felt right…I just knew….even though I had never felt it before…."
It was a long while before they slept, there was seven years worth of their lives to catch up on.
Epilogue
Love is exception making……
Ayn Rand
A few moths later.....
24th December, 2007.
Unusually the sun had decided to grace them with his presence today.
It was a late winter afternoon, the kind of rare glorious winter day when the air is crisp and clean, the cold has a sharp freshness to it and the sun is shining, the kind of winter day that makes one fall in love with winter all over again.
As Jai parked his car and started to walk around to the house he braced himself.
Sure enough, his expectations were not just fulfilled but exceeded.
A dog.
A kid.
A nephew.
A brother.
Two friends who were perpetually around.
Bani's friend cum agent, who was also always perpetually around.
A constant stream of visitors- Rano, Tarun, Maasi, Jigyasa, Aditya……
And a wife who had not only made it happen but who made it all worth the while.
Under the kikar tree Roshni and Rumaan were sitting on a rug, engrossed in a low voiced conversation. Around them what seemed like a hundred bridal magazines and design samples were spread out.
A little further Rey was energetically running and playing tag with a gorgeous golden coloured Labrador.
Ranveer and Nachiket were playing volleyball over in the corner where a net had been set up for them.
Bani was nowhere to be seen.
The dog, "poppy" was the first to notice him, bounding over with a bark of pleasure, wagging her tail in expectation of the petting she expected from her master as her daily due. Rey was close behind, demanding his share of attention, which included a toss and a cuddle.
Roshni looked up and waved, "Hi Jai."
Rumaan called out, "oh, Jai, excellent, we need a man's advise, come take a look at what we have selected."
Ranveer and Nachiket called out greetings and invited him to join them, both loudly demanding that he join on their side.
Jai put Rey down, gave a final pat to Poppy and declined Ranveer, Nachiket and Rumaan's invitation and asked Roshni, "where's Raghav?"
"running late, should be here in half an hour."
As Jai walked into the house he shook his head and wondered for the umpteenth time how this happened.
Ranveer and Nachiket, cleverly figuring out Jai's 'eventually' had circumvented him by appealing straight to Bani. Who immediately said yes and before Jai knew it he was saddled with Ranveer and Nachiket living upstairs. Craftily he had tried to reassign them to other projects which did not involve their staying in Delhi. They had just laughed at him and then got Bani to intercede for them.
And then Roshni got engaged to Raghav.
Why couldn't she stay at Raghav's house during the day, as she did at night, he asked himself grumpily. But in anycase, Rey had to come over daily and play with his Bunny…..Rey never failed to bring a smile to Jai's face. He just plain loved that kid.
So now, instead of a wonderfully secluded farmhouse where he could be alone with his wife he lived in a farmhouse that had added three bedrooms, two of which had permanent occupants. And no shortage of candidates for the third either!
Jaya greeted him with tea, took the packages out of his hands and told him "you'd better go up. She forgot to eat lunch…too busy working…..and she is still busy."
He showered and changed. And taking a tray from Jaya headed upstairs.
He was the only privilieged person who could walk into this room with out knocking and without an explicit invite.
Bani had relaxed enough to let her closest friends and family into the room and to let them know that she was in fact Saraswati. But they knew better than to ever enter her studio without being invited or to disturb her when she was busy. And her identity ws now a closely guarded family secret. If the critics had begun to wonder why her works now exuded happiness and fulfilment than longing, well, that was their concern.
Next to the charcoal sketch of her mother one of her portraits of Jai graced the wall. The remaining two portraits she had decided to hang in their house in Bombay.
The painting of 'Jannat' was hung in his study, which was right next door to her studio.
She was painting. It was almost complete.
A moody mountainscape where the misty blues and greys alternately hid and revealed the verdant enigma of the green deodhar forest in the forefront and the purple mountains in the far distance. Here and there a red rhododendron flower peeked from between trees. The painting spoke of a long drawn out magical evening in the mountains when it seemed believable that pagan powers still hid round the corner tree….and that nature was herself a goddess, a tempting alluring seductress……
Jai loved this painting. Despite her stated intention of this being a gift slated for Raghav and Roshni, he was hopeful of persuading her to his way of thinking. Sure, he could not belly dance….but he had his own arsenal……
She turned around as she heard the door. And smiled at him as she put the palette down.
He grinned as he took in her appearance. Worn jeans, stained with paint, his black sweater (which she had happily taken seven years ago) now full of holes, and her hair, which she was now trying to grow back, was sticking up all over the place.
She threw a damp cloth over the unfinished painting, soaked her paintbrushes in turpentine and walked over to him, wiping her hands on a rag soaked in turpentine.
He held up the sandwich and she took a huge bite.
"you missed lunch," he admonished lightly, as they both sat down on the couch, "and now you have one hour to change and be ready. Raghav is running a little late but he should make it in time, or maybe I'll call and tell him to meet us directly there."
She nodded while chewing.
As she reached for another bite, he said, "I know you get involved, but it's not good to skip meals and you seem to be doing a lot of that lately."
She smiled with her mouth full and from the way her eyes filled with excitement, Jai knew there was something more.
Jaya and Jai may think that she had missed lunch because she had forgotten. But she knew better and as of this morning,Rghav had confirmed it when he had rung up with the test results.
But she said nothing, merely smiled and reached for the rest of the sandwiches and the juice. She would tell Jai at the right moment.
It was controlled chaos as they everyone got ready and was bundled into assorted cars.
Jai saw them all off, and promised he and Bani would follow in a minute.
She walked out of the house trailing a pashmina shawl as she tried to screw on her earrings.
She took his breath away.
Today she was wearing a saree. A silk saree, the colour of mellowed wine, a yellow so deep that it hinted at green. The same colour she had worn that fateful night eight years ago. He reached for the shawl and draped it around her.
The story of how Bani and Jai had met accidentally as strangers eight years ago had passed into family folklore. And today, everyone who was in delhi wanted to go and attend the christmas service. While Jai and Bani had given out only the censored version of their encounter that long ago night, they had the uncomfortable feeling that everyone had a sneaking suspicion about the real events…..but since no one had had the courage to venture such a suggestion out loud they did not belabour the point.
The Reverend stood at the entrance, welcoming all the guests, students and outsiders alike, with equal warmth and courtesy.
His eyes lit up when he saw Jai and Bani. And then he took in Jai's arm around her. "You and Bani?" he asked.
"yes father," Jai answered, "she accepted me and we are now husband and wife."
"Father," Jai said after accepting the Reverend's good wishes, "we know that the neither the church nor the college is short of funds, yet we would like to jointly make a contribution. To be used by you as you see fit."
The Reverend's eyes lit up with laughter, "you haven't told each other, have you?"
As Jai and Bani exchanged glances, he added, "that you both have been individually making secret contributions to me for the church for the last eight years?"
Jai and Bani exchanged very sheepish glances, neither had wanted to appear that much of a sentimental fool!
"And today," the Reverend said with a gentle smile, "I think I know why."
"well Reverend, you were right that night, when you said that God had not given up on me….he sent me my very own guardian angel that very night, right here, in the chapel," Jai admitted.
"what can I say, Father, it takes a long while for the message to sink into this stubborn man's brains," Bani added playfully.
And then all three of tehm walked in for the service.
As the soft strains of the Bach's "jesu, joy of man's desiring" lingered and then softly dissipated, the congregation stood up. The choir filed out in an orderly queue, followed by the rest of the congregation. The chapel was empty, save two people, seated next to each other.
Smiling, the Reverend saw them both but walked out of the church as he had eight years. He had seen two people he knew and cared about in pain that night and thought that maybe they could share each other's agony and lessen it, because they would know how to empathise.
Today, he left them alone and walked out because he saw two people in love and wanted to give them their privacy as they said their thanks.
They sat in the quiet hush of the chapel for a long while. The candles burnt low before Bani broke the silence, "Jai this is for you," she whispered handing him a package, which Jai had seen Ranveer carrying but had not paid any attention to. He opened it to find a beautiful balck cashmere sweater.
"I took the last one you had…"she added.
"yes you did, and guess what, I never actually got around to buying a new one!"
"so you like it?"
"oh yes. I love it."
"er…would you mind lending it me? This shawl is rather inadequate and I am a little cold," she said with a tiny shiver.
With a resigned look he handed it over and waited patiently until she had worn the sweater and readjusted her pallu over the sweater.
And then took out a tiny box and placed it in her hand, "and this is for you. By the way, just out of curiosity, do you think I will actually get to wear my sweater anytime in next seven odd years?"
"Jai!" she reprimanded him, "how can you….Oh!" she gasped as she opened the box.
Nestled against the black satin was pendant, a one off uniquely designed pendant. Set with rubies and emeralds a perfectly reproduced poinsettia flower dangled from a thin chain composed of diamond solitaires.
As he clasped it around her throat, he told her, "after that night, it's been my favourite flower."
With tears pooling in her eyes, she told him softly, "you know that poinsettia is not actually a flower, right?"
Jai burst out laughing, he could not help it, "yes I did."
And then as the tears began rolling down her cheeks, he became concerned, "hey, why are you crying?"
"because I am happy and I'm hormonal," she told him.
"happy I understand but ..er…hormonal?" he asked cautiously.
"well, get used to it," she told him, sobbing openly now, "pregnant women get that way."
It took a moment to sink in. And then he whooped.
"Jai! We are in a church!" she told him, taking a break from her sobbing.
"that's all right. I mean it's God's house and God approves of procreation," he informed her, soothingly.
She could not decide between laughter and tears, so he just had to kiss her to help her make up her mind.
And then Nachiket had to poke his head in and whine about how cold it was waiting outside and could Jai please make out with his wife at home, where the rest of them would not freeze to death?
And then Raghav joined Nachiket to ask Bani if she had shared her news with Jai because Roshni was dying to know what the secret was.
And a sleepy Rey lifted his head from his father's shoulder and immediately demanded to know why his Bunny was crying.
And Ranveer was busy getting a scolding from the caretaker, Mr.Philips, who wanted to lock the chapel and get to his warm house.
Timbucktoo, the middle of the Gobi desert, a hilltop….no, no all of these places were accessible….yes, he had it! A private island, where he could ban any one's entry! Yes, that was it, he would buy a bloody island just so he could be alone with his wife! His mind was made up, first thing tomorrow he was going island shopping he decided as he escorted his wife outside, where everyone was busy whooping with delight and hugging Bani as she told them of her pregnancy.
If everyone thought that Jai was looking so smug because of the child, well, he'd let them think that that was the only reason.
FINIS
Author's Note
Ladies, it has been a wonderful ride; happy, joyful, tender, poignant and even just plain heart breaking. But then that was the magic of KS.
And it was as an Ode to that magical journey that I wrote "The Foreign Self."
When I began writing it the KS I had fallen in love with had already begun to dissipate over the far horizon.
But I found it hard to let of, to wake up from the enchantment it had cast over me. And to exocise that spell, I planned and wrote "The Foreign Self." It was always meant to be a farewell.
And now finally, I have come to the end of the road.
I stopped watching KS many months ago but in my head Jai and Bani were still alive.
But now finally, they have departed.
I will always remember them but only as a memory.
They are no longer living and breathing, real people. Not anymore.
I want to thank you all of you. So many of you wrote on the thread. So many of you used a pm. Some of you even called. And for that thank you.
When I was exhausted with KS, when I was trying to get it out of my system I forced myself to nonetheless continue and finish "The Foreign Self," long breaks not withstanding, because I felt that to not do so would be letting all of you down. And you deserved better.
Whether you wrote in just once during all these months does not make any difference.
The fact that you took those five minutes from your lives to do so, makes all the difference. And it is for you, because of you that I finished writing "The Foreign Self."
I will no longer be writing another FF. Partly because the Jai and Bani magic has evaporated like a midsummer night's dream in the cold clarity of sunrise.
And partly because I am exhausted of making the effort for a vast majority of readers who prefer to remain silent.
That is their choice, and I am making mine. You, the silent readers irritate me. And I no longer wish to share my imagination with you.
For all those of you who have not been silent, I apologise. It is an unfair deal. But then life is unfair or we would have still had the KS we so badly wanted. Nonethless, you deserved better and I am sorry for letting you down.
Regads and best wishes
Armana
Fan Fictions
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
