Confessions
Jalal's Chamber :
Enough is enough, thought the impatient young emperor. He had had enough now. He had had enough of pretence with that kaneez. He had had enough of jealous Jodha. He wanted everything to be back to normal now. Everything should be as it had been, calm and peaceful.
Most of all, he wanted HIS Jodha back. One, who did not hate him anymore. One, who trusted him with all her heart. One, who considered him a good friend, if not a rightful husband. His face fell at the remembrance of that dreadful night. The night which had changed the relation between Jodha and Jalal drastically. He sighed. He had opened his heart out to her, that day. Every word that he had uttered, was straight from the very core of his newborn heart. But, all his hopes had been shattered by her rejection. The pain of not being loved by the person whom you love so much, is immense and unexplainable. She had hurt him, hurt his feelings, a lot.
And from that point onwards, he had not left a single stone unturned to make Jodha feel guilty. He had used every way possible to make her feel worthless, and to disrespect her.
But, he couldn't deny that every tear of hers, shattered his heart into a million pieces. Whenever she gave him that vulnerable, pitiful look, his heart had urged him to go and hug her so tightly, that all her pains vanish. But his mind had always told him the opposite. His mind wanted him to rejoice at his victory, as he had avenged his insult.
Though he had always been a stone image in her presence, his heart could never actually feel goof at her state. No matter how much his mind reminded him of her misdeeds, the moment he saw those innocent eyes of hers, longingly gazing at him, his heart would instantly melt. Though he never showed it on his face, he had hated every moment with Benazir. All the pretense left him, as soon as Jodha looked away. Even Benazir was never able to understand this strange behavior of the emperor. But then, her tiny brain was not efficient enough to make out the working of the emperor's mind. Only Jalal knew how much it hurt to pretend of loving someone else, when his love was right there, staring at him with a hint of pain...and a lot more, which he could never decipher. But his mind ruled his heart in such situations. The mind wanted to take revenge of every insult Jodha had imposed on him. But the heart? How can the heart rejoice at the pain of its very owner?
All of Jalal's confusions had ended when Salima Begum had read out Jodha's original letter to him. Jodha had simply praised him for his worthy decisions and trust on her. Jalal had been wrong all along. She had never invited him to her hojra. She had never intended to insult him. She had only been the victim throughout, suffering so much, thought Jalal.
It was as if the entire weight of the world had now come on his shoulders. What not had he said to her? He had told her even told her that he never loved her...and would never want to see her again...that she was only one of the many Begums he had at his service. But the truth was exactly the opposite. He loved her...truly, deeply, madly...and with all his heart and soul. And she was not any Begum...she was special...extremely special.
But he didn't know how to make things clear to her. He didn't how to face her, how to look into her eyes. Her piercing gaze would freeze him, right there. It would make him feel more guilty. But he had to speak to her. He had to end this stupid game which had been causing misery to both of them. He had to get HIS Jodha. The ever-fighting, yet sweet, the toughest of the competitors, yet the greatest of friends, the fiery, yet gentle, his very own Mirchi, his Jodha.
...
Jodha's Chamber :
Enough is enough, thought the impatient, young empress. She had had enough now. She had had enough of that disgusting Benazir. She had had enough of Shehenshah ignoring and insulting her. She wanted everything to be as it had been, calm and peaceful. She wanted HER Shehenshah back. One who trusted her, one who teased her, one who was a friend to her. She missed HER Shehenshah.
The past few weeks had been really bad for the Empress. No matter how strong she pretended to be, she was broken, completely broken from inside.
Her thoughts then slowly drifted back to that dreadful night. The one which was responsible for all her present troubles. Shehenshah had almost surrendered himself to her that day. He seemed to be an entirely changed person then. He was not the usual teasing or playful personality. He was an innocent, a child at heart, speaking up his innermost feelings, with utmost honesty. She had even noticed him actually blushing. She could not help but smile at him. This was an entirely new shade of him, which she hadn't experienced before.
But just in a while, everything had changed. She had never intended to push or insult him. She had never expected him to behave in that manner. His interpretation of her letter had been wrong. The dhakka was the result of her sudden reflex, and not some pre-planned event, as he might have thought. The happenings were so quick, that she was stunned. She had tried to explain her feelings, but the enraged emperor was too angry to pay heed. She had expected the misunderstanding to get cleared soon, but nothing of that sort happened.
The situation only worsened further. Shehenshah had tried every way possible to insult her. He had given her place to that mere kaneez, Benazir. Jodha's heart burnt at the mere mention of this girl's name. This was an entirely new feeling for Jodha. It is true that she had never loved Jalal...but still it hurt to see him ignore her. It hurt to see him giving her place to Benazir. It hurt to see him so indifferent towards her feelings. She had herself not understood this newborn feelings of heart in the beginning.
But now, she had slowly begun to realize that what she felt for Jalal, was something more than friendly affection. It was, as Salima Begum had profoundly made her understand, love, true love. She was, at first, herself surprised at the revelation. But then, her heart seemed to agree to it. She indeed had begun to love the very same man, she had once claimed to hate.
Now only one task remained, she had to convey her feelings to him. She knew he would insult her again, but this time she decided to listen to her heart's voice only.
Jodha already had planned what had to be done next.
...
In the Evening :
Jalal had finally made up his mind to talk to Jodha. Now that he knew that she had never intended to insult him, he wanted to clear things out with her, and apologize for his behavior. Deep in his heart, he also wanted to let her know, that all that he had confessed to her on that fateful night, was absolutely true. He smiled to himself at the thought, that'll be for next time. After a long time, thinking about her, lit up his face. Onlookers could have easily made out a faint hint of red on the smiling emperor's cheeks.
As he entered in to the Harem, it seemed to be in a chaos. All the maids seemed to be running around, looking for something. Even a few Begums were involved. The scene seemed rather funny to the emperor. Harem is normally a very lively place, full of dancers, musicians, and all luxuries for the inmates' entertainment. But this kind of a scene was rather new here. Jalal was amused at this. He was curious enough to ask Salima Begum, who was just passing by. " Salima Begum, kya aap humein bata sakti hain ki yahaan kya ho raha hai? " ( Salima Begum, Will you please tell me what exactly is going on here? )
The wise begum just smiled a knowing smile, and replied in her usual pleasant tone, " Shehenshah, aap bass itna samajh lijiye ki mahal ke ek khaas shaks ki sabse khaas cheez kho gayi hai...usi ki khoj chal rahi hai yahaan. " ( The most precious possession of one the most special members of the palace, is lost, Shehenshah. And they're all searching for it. ) Salima Begum greeted the emperor, and left. Even in her final aadaab, she couldn't seem to contain her laughter. Her answer further surprised Jalal. Who could be the person behind the hustle in the entire Harem? And most importantly, what could be so important so someone, that the entire palace had been on a mission to find it? With these questions hovering in his mind, Jalal decided to move on towards the task he had come to accomplish.
He swiftly removed his jootis, as he entered HER hojra. It felt so good to come here after so long. This hojra had some special positive vibes around it, and Jalal was instantly in a very good mood. But he still felt unsure of how to begin.
His gaze fell on HER. There she was, as pretty as ever, sitting on her royal bed. As she saw him, she stood up to greet him. " Pranaam Shehenshah." He smiled and returned the greeting with an aadaab. As he kept gazing at her for some time, he felt that something was different today, quite different.
His trail of thoughts was broken by her voice, " Hum aap se hi milne aane wale the, Shenhenshah." ( I was coming to meet you only, Shehenshah. ) He was surprised to hear that. As far as he knew, she was far too irritated by him to want to meet him. But his face showed none of his feelings. " Kuchh kaam tha aapko, Jodha Begum?" ( Any important work, Jodha Begum? ) He wanted to look innocent, hence this question.
" Ji Shehenshah." ( Yes, Shehenshah. ) Answered Jodha, getting up from her seat, and moving towards HIM. As she reached his place, she spoke up again. "Aapko pata nahi chala kya? Humari sabse mulyavaan vastu kahin gum ho gayi hai." ( Didn't you know? My most special possession is lost. ) She took a step forward. Her sharp gaze was piercing into his, her lips curled up into what you would call a grin. Jalal hesitated a bit, and took a step backward. " Haan...haan who bahar sab usi ki talaash kar rahe hain. Toh who konsi keemti cheez hai aapki?" ( Yeah I heard about that. But what is that? )
She kept moving closer and closer. And Jalal steps were retreating. He actually could not grasp the happenings. She finally stopped when there seemed to be minimal distance between the two. She looked deep into her husband's eyes. She could read only expressions of disbelief in them. His heartbeats, which she now seemed to hear clearly, raced.
He looked into his Jodha's eyes. She did not seem to be the Jodha he knew. She was different, very different. Her eyes were not the usual innocent ones, they had a glint of mischief in them. What was his teekhi mirchi up to? He wasn't able to decide.
Immense silence prevailed, as both had been trying to read each other's eyes. Finally...Jodha broke the silence. " Humari sabse mulyavaan vastu...humara hriday hai Shehenshah...aura b use dhoondne ki aavashyakta nahi hai...kyunki jiske paas woh hai...who vyakti swayam humare samaksh upasthit hai..." ( My most precious possession...is my heart...Emperor...but there's no need to search for it anymore...as the person who has it...is right here, in front of me. ) Her eyes shined as she spoke...her smile widened...as she continued to study her husband's face. Finally...I did it...now its his turn to react. Thought Jodha, as she patiently grasped each and every reaction of his.
Jalal's eyes widened in sudden disbelief. He moved a step back. He still couldn't believe his ears. His hands seem to shiver. He looked at them, then again at her. She stood there, still, a perfect smile adorning her mesmerizing face. As realization dawned on him, as her words sunk in, he felt his heart skip a beat. The only words he could utter were..."Kya?" ( What? ) He looked at her again...not able to believe what had just happened. His teekhi mirchi, who was always ready to argue with him, had just now confessed that she loved him? This was a very new avatar of Jodha, one which he had never imagined in his wildest dreams. As she gave a slight nod, seeing her husband in such a confusion, Jalal smiled his brightest at her. She was sure she had seen him blush, again, that moment.
There was again a long, long silence. The silence allowed both the love birds to soak the moment in. Jodha finally felt content. She was not sure if she could do this, but she did. She had not expected Jalal to react in this manner, but now when she his smiling self, she was sure that everything had been set right. She couldn't take his eyes off him, the person she had longed to see, from the day that Benazir had entered their lives.
Jalal, could not thank God enough today. This one moment, had rid him of all his pain, guilt and remorse. His glee and joy could not be expressed in words. The best feeling in the world, is to be loved equally by the person you so dearly love. For both of them, this moment was no less than heaven. They kept looking into each other's eyes, perhaps trying to fulfill the emptiness they had felt for the past few weeks. Not a word was uttered...for love his best explained through eyes.
Finally, Jalal had to break the silence. " Jodha Begum...ye lamha humari zindagi ka sabse khoobsurat pal hai. Pichhle kuchh dino se jiss aag mein aap jal rahi thi...us se hum bhi mehroom nahi the... Yakeen maniye...jitna dard aapko hua hai...us se kam humein bhi nahi mila hai... Bass hum aapko bata dena chahte hain ki jo kuchh humne aapse uss din kaha tha, who sab kuchh bilkul sach hai. Hum aapse beintehaan mohabbat karte hain...tab bhi karte the...aaj bhi karte hain...aur Allah Kasam..humesha karte rahenge..." ( Jodha Begum...this moment is the most beautiful one of my life...the fire in which you've been burning from the past weeks...has also burnt me...the pain which you've felt...had also hurt me...I want to let you know that every word which I had uttered that day...was absoloutely true...I love you...I loved you then...I love you now...And I'll do so forever...)And he could not speak after that. Just closed his eyes, and hugged her tightly. And she hugged him back with the same passion. They both clung to each other, crying their hearts out, as if washing away the pain they had been bearing since the past few weeks. The warmth of each other's love was enough to ease their pain. That is what pure love is, just a mere touch of your love, and all the pain vanishes away.
Time seemed to stop at that moment. For these two, no world existed outside. It was just the two of them, together forever.
...
Thanks for reading. 😃
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