Jab we eloped : Saga of Eloped couples

1. In general,Why is it that the act of marrying the loved one's without the knowledge of parents( I guess this process is called eloping😳😛)..looked that much down.....????
2. Is eloping a sin?
3. What's the role of parents in their child's marriage? or Is it better to leave the decision to the children.....?
4. Do the children have basic courtesy of informing /seeking the permission of parents?😕
5. What are the acceptable (generally) levels of elope...are there some factors like...good job,basic settlement...(just as proof that they are mentally matured)?
6. Should anyone help these elopers in their life(marriage issues) in future...otr should theyleave them to their hell or heaven?
   

I am shocked..!!! Do people still elope in this day and age? 😕 It was common in the 70's. 😆 Most of the times it is usualy a license to become intimate then for love. 😛

I don't know how old this girl is but usually elopers are in the range of 15-24 with uncontrolled raging hormones (and sometimes over controlling parents). Never seen a 30 year old pair elope. 😆

I feel until one is mentally and emotionaly mature or at least they are 25, let parents/elders guide you in making life changing decisions that you have to live with.

Originally posted by: mythili_Kiran

1. In general,Why is it that the act of marrying the loved one's without the knowledge of parents( I guess this process is called eloping😳😛)..looked that much down.....???? If a child is around 17-23 then I would consider it eloping but if a 29-30 year old gets married against parents' wishes then it won't be considered eloping. It is a decision taken by two mature adults without parental consent.
   In Telugu actor's case, his daughter is 18 I guess who was brought up in lap of luxury and probably in a protected environment. Her decision of eloping is haste and immature. This is the time for her to achieve something academically instead of eloping with the first guy she set eyes on. The guy was charged 5 years ago with kidnapping of a minor girl. It is sad that some choose to give such heartaches to parents. If it were 29-30 year olds then I would support the children.
   
2. Is eloping a sin? It is not a sin but an immature act if done by college kids.
   
3. What's the role of parents in their child's marriage? or Is it better to leave the decision to the children.....? Every mature adult have right to decide about his or her life. But just because someone is 18 and allowed to vote doesn't make one mature. If parents oppose a decision, which doesn't have any valid arguments then it is okay to overlook, but if they are genuinely concerned and weigh all pros and cons of a particular decision made by the child then there is no harm in giving it a thought.
   
4. Do the children have basic courtesy of informing /seeking the permission of parents?😕 Yes. But if circumstances are not favorable then one can't blame kids. This is not applicable for college kids at all😊.
   
5. What are the acceptable (generally) levels of elope...are there some factors like...good job,basic settlement...(just as proof that they are mentally matured)? Answered above
   
6. Should anyone help these elopers in their life(marriage issues) in future...otr should theyleave them to their hell or heaven? That is a tricky situation. Most of the times parents or a close relative reconcile with children. If nothing can be done but the elopers are ready to take advice later then at least give them support to stand on their feet. I wouldn't blame the parents who decides to cut all ties😊. If marriage happened between two adults who are well settled in life but no parental support then they can try to reconcile and if nothing works then let time take its course.

Originally posted by: mythili_Kiran

1. In general,Why is it that the act of marrying the loved one's without the knowledge of parents( I guess this process is called eloping😳😛)..looked that much down.....????
   
   While many times eloping is a necesscity because the older generation can be caught in an incorrect prejudice regarding class, caste, religion and other differences. Or sometimes parents have misconceptions about their children's needs and lack understanding.
   
   Unfortunately, a lot of the eloping that happens is due to immaturity of the youth. They become blinded by their love that they forget about the feelings about others. Sometimes parents are not even opposed to relationships but just have clauses like fulfilling responsibilities like education or securing steady jobs before marriage. And sometimes parents are right in saying that the boy/girl is not the right choice. There are many who have eloped and regretted.
   
   Also in India we place a high emphasis on family prestige and pride. Eloping can mar that. So people tend to look down on eloping.
   
   
   
2. Is eloping a sin?
   
   Not at all.
   
   
3. What's the role of parents in their child's marriage? or Is it better to leave the decision to the children.....?
   
   I think a collective decision is the best. I personally subscribe to the principle of 'arranged love'. Our arranged marriage system is somewhat like a global dating service.
   
   If you happen to meet someone and fall in love, great. But some people are shy, some people do not know where to look, some people fall for the wrong people. Then there is the confusion in relationships, where is it going, when will we both be ready for marriage, is this serious or is this time pass.
   
   When a person feels they are ready for marriage friends and family can arrange them to meet suitable prospects. I personally feel that in a good family environment friends and family can help pick someone who will match your interests and personality. Nowadays, people are not as conservative and are open to any communities. The benefit also is you are meeting people ready to get committed into marriage and do not have to worry about commitment mind games.
   
   You meet the person for a bit, hang out and see if you click. If you click you can move on, if not share goodbyes and part amicably.
   
   This way both parents and children can be equally involved in the choices.
   
   
4. Do the children have basic courtesy of informing /seeking the permission of parents?😕
   
   I think they should gather courage to inform their parents of the decision asap. It is courtesy as well as courage. If you believe you are doing the right thing, do not be a wuss about it.
   
   
5. What are the acceptable (generally) levels of elope...are there some factors like...good job,basic settlement...(just as proof that they are mentally matured)?
   
   Mental maturity is most important. You want someone who is ready to shoulder responsibility willingly. A mature relationship is also important. How well do you know each other, are you ready for this, can you support each other through his, how will this effect your relationship, what is your plan of action, do you have some common goals and ideas for life and the future, how long can you really be without your family, do you love this person enough to risk a lifetime of family love. These are questions that need to be asked but probably never do.
   
   Finally job and settlement counts. It is not about the job or income, but more about the person's level of hard work and dedication in life.
   
   
6. Should anyone help these elopers in their life(marriage issues) in future...otr should theyleave them to their hell or heaven?
   
   Tough decision really. Sometimes it is best to leave them on their own. However, sometimes you may know the parties well enough and be someone close that you have to make a choice. Before doing anything try to assess their relationship and probe their reasons for eloping and their maturity. If it is convincing help them. Better a known person help than they seek help from a wrong person. If it is not convincing try to help them make a better choice instead of eloping.
   
   Sometimes even if you want to there is nothing you can do.