AsYa SS: The Secret Between Me & You
Love was a terrible thing. You poisoned it and stabbed at it and knocked it down into the mud-well down-and it got up and staggered on, bleeding and muddy and awful. Like-like Rasputin.
Jean Rhys, Quartet
#1 GOT YOU ON MY MIND AGAIN
Pal pal dil ke pass
Tum rehti ho
Jeevan meethi pyaas
Yeh kehti ho
Pal pal dil ke paas
Tum rehti ho
Har sham aankhon par
Tera aanchal lehraye
Har raat yadoon ki
Baraat le aaye
Main saans leta hoon
Teri khusboo aati hai
Ek mehka mehka sa
Paigam lati hai
Meri dil ki dhadkan bhi
Tere geet gati hai
Pal pal dil ke paas
Tum rehti ho
Kal tujhko dekha tha
Maine apne aagan mein
Jaise kehe rhi thi tum
Mujhe baandh lo bandhan mein
Yeh kaisa rishta hai
Yeh kaise sapne hain
Begane hokar bhi
Kyun lagte apne hain
Main soch mein rehta hoon
Dar dar ke rehta hoon
Pal pal dil ke paas
Tum rehti ho
Jeevan meethi pyaas
Yeh kethi ho
Pal pal dil ke paas
Tum rehti ho...
"Wow man! That was really good!"
"Told you he was good!"
"Awesome bro! Where would you get that voice?!"
"I didn't understand a word, but gotta say I would love listening to this again!"
"Please sing us something whose lyrics we know! I totally want to sing along!"
"Yess!!"
Smiling graciously:
"Thank you very much. One English song then."
He closes his eyes again. An array of images flash in his mind, he pushes them away...little reluctantly today. Taking a deep breathe:
You, do you remember me
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?
'Cause I, I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I'm going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody's me
How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we had isn't lost
'Cause you're always right here in my thoughts
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That somebody's me
You'll always be in my life
Even if I'm not in your life
'Cause you're in my memory
You, when you remember me
And before you set me free, oh listen please
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That somebody's me
Somebody's me
Somebody's me
Somebody's me
Everyone sings along with him. And there are claps and applause when the song comes to an end. Some tease him saying that he is a total mood killer. He laughs and apologizes for that, saying sad emotional music is his genre. Dressed in a grey suit, he looks ravishing and has constant attention in this business party. This year, his company leads the sales in the international market of two-wheelers, hence the party. He has been promoted here, the New York branch of Hero Honda, only yesterday from Mumbai, India. He is not very fond of attending parties, but since he wanted to get to know his colleagues better, this party seemed like a very good opportunity. So here he is. He isn't completely settled in his apartment yet. Tomorrow is Sunday, so he isn't worried about it.
"Come on Asad, I will introduce you to the guys you are gonna work with. They just got here."
Mr. Saxena guides him to a group of three people. Asad follows.
"Guys!"
"Hello Boss! Cool party! "
"Thanks man! Alright guys, this is Asad Ahmed Khan. He is the new guy from India."
"Asad Ahmed Khan."
Asad shakes hands with them.
"Isabelle Martin"
"Jason Cunningham."
"Chris Springstone"
Isabelle: Sing us a song sometime! Everyone's been talking about it.
Asad: Sure.
Jason: Liking the party so far?
Asad: Yeah!
Chris: It's going to turn better. Just wait.
Mr. Saxena: Where's Zoya?
Jason: She went off with Luke. Will be here in a minute I guess.
Chris: Asad, if you don't mind me asking, are you some prince or something? *Asad raises his eyebrow* You have got a really elegant and long name. *Asad smiles*
Mr. Saxena: Talk of the devil, and here she comes.
They turn to look as Zoya comes in their direction, with another guy holding her by arm. She is wearing a deep red saree, with a black sleeveless blouse. Her hair is lying free on her shoulder, smooth and silky. She is talking, and laughs at something he says. He looks totally smitten by her. Anyone would be. She is a true beauty in every aspect. Her long platinum earrings & bangles sparkle in the dark. In another lifetime, she could never manage to walk properly in a saree, tripping several times, but now she is carrying it off so graciously that...it's hard to believe that it's her. Guess people really do change. Indeed they do. Still...
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That somebody's me
Finally, after what seems like an eternity, she reaches them. Her gaze lands on him. And she stops. Up close, she looks even more breath-taking, he realises. Her brain can't process what it's seeing, and she feels lost. Like him.
Mr. Saxena: Zoya, your new colleague. Asad Ahmed Khan.
Him? How? Why?
Thousands of memories come flashing back. Happy in some lifetime, just painful now. They don't break the eye-lock.
Chris: Asad, Zoya Farooqui. Our pataka kudi. Did I say that right?
Mr. Saxena: Okay I will leave you guys to talk.
Are they listening to anything that has been said? No. They are still staring at each other. Lost in each other. Everything else fades away. Like always. But, it's different this time. Reality is a bitch. They look away from each other just as reality crashes in.
Isabelle: Why do I feel like this is not the first time you guys are meeting?
Zoya: Asad...it's good to see you. (She extends her hand with a small smile, hiding away the tears perfectly) We...he was my...classmate. Allah Miyaan Zoya control!
Asad: She was my girlfriend to be specific. Classmates? Is that it, Zoya? That's all you have to say?
Asad shakes her hand firmly, a bit too firmly may be. She doesn't say anything. He gives a small smile and releases her hand. Both of them deny feeling the sparks.
Chris: Whoa! Didn't see that coming!
Zoya: It's over for good. It is over.
Asad: Indeed. That's true.
Isabelle: Zoya, do you need to...you know talk to him alone or something?
Zoya starts to nod, but Asad brushes it off.
Asad: There is no need for any talk. It's all past. And apart from that, I never let personal stuff affect my professional relationships. Don't worry. I won't let my past affect me anymore. She is my past, nothing more.
Zoya: Thanks for your concern, but I am not worried. The same goes for me. It has taken me so much time and effort to get over him, I can't spoil it all now. I don't care about him.
Asad: Good.
Isabelle motions the guys to let Asad and Zoya talk alone, because she can see the tension between them. She needs to know all about their history today.
Zoya: Where did they all vanish? These people! Trust them to leave me when I need them the most.
She massages her forehead in frustration. Seeing that, Asad can't help mock her.
Asad: I remember you saying that only old people do that! Don't Asad, don't bring up the past.
Asad motions to her forehead. Zoya sighs heavily.
Zoya: Guess I am getting old then! Some habits...just sink in. No Zoya, don't go there. It's over.
Asad notices the dark circles under her eyes. She looks so tired. She has grown very thin, and fragile. He remembers how perfectly she fit in his arms, her face resting on his chest perfectly. My safe heaven, she used to say. The urge to hold her in those arms again is so strong that he turns and walks away from her, seething in anger. Ammi! He thinks with a sigh.
Zoya: Listen-
She looks up to find him gone. She watches his receding back, dissolving into the crowd. Asad, why you! She fights back the tears. Allah Miyaan, what's wrong with me? Tears don't come to her very easily, but today it seems like a dam is about to burst inside her eyes. She runs a hand through her hair. First of all, the long journey from London, jet lag, then she didn't manage to get much rest and came running here. She should have stayed home today.
Isabelle: Hey, you alright?
Zoya: Yep. Just...surprised at seeing him after so long. I need a drink.
Isabelle: Nothing serious, right?
Chris: He didn't say anything to you, did he?
Zoya: Don't worry. He isn't like that. And he is our colleague now, so let's not talk behind his back. He is a very good person actually. Dad! I wish you were here.
Jason: He must have been all that. Or else Zoya Farooqui won't date him, and still have feelings for him.
Zoya: I don't! I absolutely hate him!
Chris: Please Zoe, who are you fooling here?
Zoya: Seriously Chris, I hate him! I stopped loving him the day my Dad was killed...by his Dad. I miss you Dad, I miss you so much.
Isabelle: WHAT? Seriously?
Zoya: Yep. Look guys, I really don't want to talk about it right now. I can't afford to go all over it again, I won't be able to control my feelings.
Chris: Sorry babe. Alright let's end the topic here. Come on! *He gives her a side hug*
Zoya: The reason we broke up is...he blames my Dad for killing his Dad as well. Like my Dad would kill someone just like that! Asad is so unwilling to come out of the fantasy land!
Isabelle pats her shoulder.
Zoya: I will be outside for a bit, I need some fresh air. It's...
Chris: No problem babes!
Zoya goes outside, and leans against the railing. She stares into the dark sky shining with uncountable number of stars. Her mind flashes back to the last time she had seen Asad Ahmed Khan.
FIVE YEARS BACK
It is their convocation, and even if Zoya didn't want to come...here she is, on insistence of her friends and Mom. Standing in the college canteen, her friend Sana gently asks her about Asad.
Sana: Zoe I am only asking out of concern, you two loved each other so much. Whatever happened, it is not any of your fault.
Zoya: Sana I haven't had any contact with him for a year. And honestly after what happened, I can't even think of loving him. He is the son of the person who killed my Dad. You have no idea what it has been like for my family, for me. It's been a year...but still there is not a single moment we don't miss Dad. My family hates Asad's family. I can't stop myself from wishing ill-will on that wretched family. I want to make them pay for what they did to my family.
Sana: Zoya...
Zoya: I know it's pathetic, but I hate him. I hate that family. I hate him. Whenever I see Asad in my mind, I see him shooting my Dad.
Sana: Zoya stop! Asad...
Zoya looks back and her breath catches in her throat. Asad is standing right behind her with tears in his eyes. And boy, he is angry! He looks at her with hatred. Zoya looks down feeling ashamed under that gaze of his. Asad please don't look at me like that!
Asad: You know what Zoya, I am glad I was stopped before making the biggest mistake of my life! Thank God I didn't make the mistake of marrying a girl like you! You are such a bitch...I never realised. For God's sake, your father killed my father too...you realise that, don't you?
Zoya: My father killed him out of self-defence. It was made clear in the post motern report that your Dad shot my Dad first. So obviously my Dad shot him, anyone in their right sense of mind would.
Asad: f**k that, all that matters to me is that I lost my Dad. He was killed...by your Dad who was already dying. Whatever, you know what, I will make it easy for you. Come and wish all your "ill-will", try make my family suffer, just try. Then I will show you what suffering is, I will show you what "ill-will" actually is.
Zoya: What will you do? Kill me?
Asad: That's nothing. You have no idea about the things I can do for my family. Good luck. I will be waiting Miss Zoya Farooqui.
Then he walks away. He is gone in an instant. Zoya wipes away her tears furiously, and walks away in the opposite direction. I hate you Asad!
*FLASHBACK ENDS*
Miss Zoya Farooqui...
He had never said her name with so much hatred, so much disgust. It still rang in her ears. It felt like someone was pouring hot metal over her ear.
Why can't I get over him Allah Miyaan? Why can't I hate him? Even after everything, why do I still want him? Why do I still want to hug him and rest my head on his chest? What an irony, I see him as my safe heaven even though he is the son of my Dad's murderer!
Zoya gives a dry laugh. You had to bring him here, isn't it Allah Miyaan! But I am not going down that easy Allah Miyaan! I will fight it, I will fight it till my last breathe! I will die doing my best to hate him!
Alright Zoya, now you need to head back and enjoy yourself. Go live your life! Go have fun! Asad Pricking-Asshole Ahmed Khan doesn't matter!
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Arjun
Cricket
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