Chapter 5: Flutters
My heart was a butterfly, fluttering in the sky
Purab and Nikki had refused to take up the project with Prof. Sriram for they thought it was going to be serious business and they were not ready for it. Abhi did end up taking it up after I convinced him that I was going to take care of the reports from his side too. He was helping me with data collection and survey part big time, which involved visiting hospitals and interviews. And at college we all worked as a team, always together, always being there for each other.
I literally had no idea what I was doing to myself with the feelings I had developed for Abhi. I thought and dreamt about him day and night, wrote numerous stories of him and me in my head. Yet it all felt unreal and dreamy.
Abhi gave me a lot of attention, he teased me, made me laugh and sometimes even cry in our ridiculous arguments. But he gave attention to Nikki and Purab too, so I didn't know if there was anything special for me. I was not going to ask or demand anything from him directly because his world and my world seemed sky and earth, and I didn't feel myself being enough for him at so many levels.
I knew I wasn't pretty, I knew I wasn't fun and bright, I knew I wasn't attractive. I didn't want a heartbreak by hoping for anything. Whatever I had in my mind, I chose to keep it to myself.
One weekend, Purab's uncle and aunty with whom he stayed were going out of station and he had arranged for a Sunday afternoon lunch and a movie for the four of us. I still went to Pune every weekend, but to have me not miss this lunch-movie fun, Nikki herself had called my mother and took permission to have me in Mumbai for the weekend. My mother was actually happy that I didn't need to travel for that weekend.
When we all arrived at Purab's house, and Purab had cooked a delicious meal for us. After the meal, we were going to watch Ram-Leela, a recent Bollywood blockbuster. It was Nikki's choice and I was excited too. Purab put the movie on the huge TV screen. I sat on the corner of the sofa, Nikki sat on the carpeted floor in front of me, Purab occupied a recliner. Abhi complained of having a headache given he had played in a pub last night and hadn't slept well.
Half an hour into the movie, Purab had gone out to receive a phone call and Abhi took a couple of cushions to lie down on the sofa. Nikki was the only one watching the movie without blinking her eyes.
"What a boring movie", I heard Abhi murmur as he settled his head on the cushions by my side.
"Shut up and let us watch the movie", commanded Nikki who didn't want to be distracted from watching the movie even for a moment.
"Does your head still hurt?", I asked Abhi in a whisper as I noticed him rubbing his forehead.
"A little bit", he said closing his eyes.
I could see he was not comfortable and I pressed his forehead with my fingers and started to rub circles.
"That feels good, Chashmish", saying so he threw down the cushions and moved his head onto my lap.
I froze immediately as his quick act put me in shock and my flutters went crazy and loony with his head on my lap.
"Why did you stop, my headache was feeling better", Abhi took my hand and placed it on his head again.
Trying to ignore all my jumpiness, I moved my fingers in his hair and on his forehead in a rhythm. Soon I heard him sigh and his breathing going calm and rhythmic. I could tell he had gone to sleep.
Except for Nikki's occasional shouts for some scenes in the movie, my attention was hardly there on it. I loved running my fingers through Abhi's longer but not so smooth hair. I could not help think why he likes this long hair and tried to imagine how he would look with shorter hair.
Even by the time the movie ended, Abhi was still asleep on my lap and Nikki suggested moving his head onto the cushions. I didn't have the heart to bother his sleep and I chose to sit there until he woke up. And I didn't want to let go of that beautiful feeling.
After another half hour, Abhi stretched his arms yawning as he had woken up. His arm ended up knocking down the magazine I was reading and he quickly sat up.
"What time it is? I slept on your lap the whole time?", asked Abhi looking at the clock.
"Is your headache better?" I enquired.
"It's actually gone. Chashmish magic", he patted my cheek and went to find Purab. My heart was beaming with joy.
A couple of days later, Purab had told me that Abhi had to rush to Ludhiana since his house had a problem and his Daadi couldn't take care of it on her own.
I tried to call Abhi but I could not get connected. I tried later in the night too. Abhi should have reached Ludhiana by then according to the train timings but he still didn't get connected. I was a bit anxious but thought of asking Purab the next morning. I was tempted to call Purab right away but it was way past midnight.
The next morning, when I was getting leaving for the college Abhi called me.
I took a breath of relief when I saw his name ringing on my phone.
"Hello Abhishek, how are you?" I asked in one breath.
"You are asking now? Shouldn't you have checked on me much before?" Abhi complained,
"I am sorry. I tried to call you, but didn't get connected", I explained.
"You should have tried my landline. You could take the number from Purab. He has it", his tone was still grumpy.
"I tried so many times.. I was going to ask Purab... wait, why didn't you call me? The person who left abruptly was you. You should have called me. You don't call me instead complain that I didn't call you", I protested.
"Hahaa.. Chashmish is boiling with anger. Don't boil so much, your chashma will get fogged with steam", he laughed.
"WHAT?", I didn't understand what he was saying.
"Actually I left my charger in Mumbai and my mobile was dead until I found a charger here", he explained.
"Is everything okay there? When are you coming back?", I asked.
"Missing me haan?", he sighed and I smiled. "I will be back next Monday but not to college. I have a really important audition on Monday".
"So I won't see you on Monday either? Hey wait, which train are you taking? I will come to receive you at the station. It's near my hostel", I bit my lip as I felt I sounded desperate to see him again.
"Why you want to come so early to the station? The train is at 5 45 am", he explained.
"I will see you at the station on Monday", I said conclusively.
"You didn't tell me if you missed me hmm..", his voice was husky.
"Bye" I ended the call just there.
As promised I was there at the railway station on Monday.
I almost didn't recognize Abhi since he looked very different in his new hair style. He had cut it shorter and there was no head band.
"Chashmish!!", he pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back but I suddenly realized we were at the station and pulled back quickly.
"How are you? Too cute of you to come here", he said as he pulled his luggage.
"Do you want me to hold your backpack?" I offered.
"Of course not", he said handling both of his luggage bags.
When we went to the taxi station, I got saddened I just saw found him a minute ago and he was going to go away.
"What happened to your hair? How come you cut it off?", I asked him as I already thought about it so many times within a few minutes.
"It's a long story. Listen why don't you come to my room with me? You can go to college directly from there. I got something for you from Ludhiana", he suggested.
Although I hesitated, I agreed. It was so not enough to meet him for few minutes after not seeing him for a whole week.
"So my Daadi, she was overweight and had cholesterol issues. The doctor had suggested her to lose weight but she wouldn't agree. She hated my long hair always so I had challenged her that if she loses weight, I will cut my hair. And guess what, she has done morning walks and lost considerable weight now. And I had to get my hair cut with a random barber in Ludhiana. He hasn't even done a good job", Abhi explained as we sat in the taxi.
"You look great with shorter hair" I finally expressed my long standing opinion about his hair.
"Ahaa, but I like your long hair. Never cut it", he said immediately.
I was a little taken aback but elated too to know he noticed something about me that way.
The rest of the taxi ride was Abhi explaining the water pipe problem in his Ludhiana house and me briefing him about the college happenings.
"This is for you, Chashmish. I got a similar one for Nikki too. My sister chose them. It's what they call..phulkari dupatta, Punjab special", he took out packets of dupatta from his luggage bag as soon as we entered his paying guest room. Soon he excused himself to take a shower. I glanced his small but busy room. There were posters of superman, Britney Spears and so many others I didn't recognize, pasted on the walls. The room was full of music writing sheets. There were numerous CDs, headphones scattered all around. I tried to organize some things but it seemed impossible to do it all. Also, not wanting to interfere with his order of things in the clutter, I gave up on that job. I took the dupatta out of the packet and tried it on myself.
"Nice", I heard him comment as he came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. I quickly turned around.
"It's okay! You can look", he squealed as I closed my eyes tight, blushing hard.
"You can open your eyes. I am all dressed now. You missed your chance", he was laughing when I finally looked at him and relieved to find him dressed.
He then briefed me about his audition with a jingles making company for advertisements. We started having breakfast with the parathas his Daadi had sent for his journey. When it came to the last bite, he took it in his hand and fed it to me.
And then we were ready to leave. He briefed me about the train station that was just across the street. "Really felt nice that you came to the station", he said holding my hand as I packed my things. "I missed you", I finally said looking away, feeling shy at my own announcement. The next moment I felt his lips on my cheek in a feather light kiss.
"Bye", I told him unable to contain myself and walked out of the room and made my way to the train station.
And it was just fluttering butterflies everywhere.
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