Instead of blame game look for solution- Ram

I once again loved the way CVs have portrayed Ram's character. He listens to his mother's woos, her pain. Then he goes and tells his father he has known about his sister. I loved the way he tells Kausalya didn't tell him on her own, but he forced her. Dasrath says he will be thinking that Dasrath is guilty for what happened to Shanta.

Though Kausalya feels the reason for her distancing from her daughter is her husband's wish to have a son, she is not sure why she is unable to come out of that? whether it is the fact that she is unable to pardon her husband for that or self for not able to stop the incident. The reason is simple even she was not just a mother but also a queen who had to think about the welfare of her subjects. It was easy to pass on the blame on someone else before they point you and that is what she did in accusing Dashrath for her daughter's absence. The way Dashrath was stunned at his daughter's offer and could not respond to her as he was in a dilemma about his role at that moment as a father and as a king and the king over powered the father and by the time father recovered, his daughter had gone for ever.

Dashrath didn't try to relink with his daughter as he feared what if she refuse his request? Will he be able to bear her rejection? so thinking the worst of it, he decided to leave the matter as it was (untouched) and even his wives (not even one among the 3) asked him to get their daughter home or didn't request them (daughter & their son in law) to stay with them for some time as their guests when they had come to the palace to perform the yagna. They thought their husband might not agree to their wish and what if that cause more turmoil than what tehy are facing currently?

They would have also feared that the saint Rishyashring may give shrap if he comes to know that they have played with him to get their selfish wish fulfilled that is to get an heir. What if he gives shrap to them their sons and most of all what if he abandons their daughter. So no one wanted to tie the bell to the cat's neck.

Only if all of them sat together and talked openly about what had happened in their life and how to get over it, they would have been happy and would not have wasted so many years of their with guilt and anguish. That is one reason they say "at times, what ever elders fail to understand and react, children will do it with ease"

Yes Jaya. It happens in real life too. No one wants to touch the sensitive topics. And these topics breeds distance, spoils relations and yes of course gives agony and pain to all concerned. And I would say it was a good thing on part of Kausalya and Dasrath to give Ram such an open environment where he was able to question them in a respectable manner. Because he could question, he could try to solve.

very true Shruthi, If they sit back and recollected what all happened and was it worth the hatred or disputing, they might find the reason was too silly to even indulge in argument. In many cases they may not even know the actual reason why they hate a person. But one thing every one needs to understand is that "in any relation , be it family, friend or colleagues, once you stop yourself from talking to a person after a small rift, it will grow so broad that you will not be able to bridge it. In many cases both will know that no one was at fault but false ego will not let them start it first. both will wait for the other to patch up and one fine day it will be so ugly that even if you want, you will not able to do so because by then your guilt will be eating you and also what will the other person think of you if you start it now or what if the other person refuse to talk? That will be an insult, so let be ...

So one should always think multiple times, if they think they hate some one or doesn't want to continue the relationship. Once broken can't be joined and even if joined, it will always carry a mark which keeps reminding the incident. So if you are angry at some one and want to argue with them, first thing you need to do is to become silent and then whatever you wanted to tell the otehr person, just think those words and then think the response from the other, Keep exchanging this dialogues in your mind till you get your control and by then your anger would have gone and you will be left with an answer whether you should talk to the other person and if so, what you should talk. The harshness will be long gone and your relation will not be strained.

One needs an overall balanced pov to come up with such solution.
Ram has this quality that's why he is different from others.

In a world where everybody is so quick to place blame on one another Ram sends out a beautiful message. Instead of focusing on the fault one should try and bring about a solution .The King was afraid that he would lose the respect Ram has for him and he would disapprove of the decision he took years ago. But only Ram could see that his father is also equally affected by the sad fate he unwillingly bound his daughter to. He did not question his father, did not blame him for his actions, rather he understood that he has also been silently suffering and is living each day with remorse.

We should also do the same. Mistakes happen knowingly and unknowingly and yes they cannot be undone but instead of chastising one another we need to work together as much as we can to mend the damage done . After all to err is human.

Yes Ruqaiya. We need to know past cannot be undone. But instead of wallowing in pain, Ram shows us if we take the right action in present, atleast future wont be destroyed. The beauty was both Dasrath and Kausalya accepted they did mistake, but they didn't know how to correct it. Ram showed the reconciliation path. Many people don't even accept they committed mistake. Accepting the mistake is the first step towards correction

Originally posted by: shruthiravi

Yes Ruqaiya. We need to know past cannot be undone. But instead of wallowing in pain, Ram shows us if we take the right action in present, atleast future wont be destroyed. The beauty was both Dasrath and Kausalya accepted they did mistake, but they didn't know how to correct it. Ram showed the reconciliation path. Many people don't even accept they committed mistake. Accepting the mistake is the first step towards correction

Interesting post Shruti didi😃