they might have just showed us that too confuse us
may be shivanya husband was killed bcz of arjun bfr 20yrs so she came here to make him fall in her love and then take revenge on him by killing him slowly than to kill at once,the way she had suffered without him she want to make him go through the same pain and she only mesmerised him with her power or magic so that he falls for him
coming to sesha story that tantrik or her guru said that her whole family was killed by them and so she wants to take revange on them and even if she forgets he wont forget the revenge and will not let her to forget it
so i think sesha family was killed by them not her lover
where as bfr starting of the serial where they showed abt these nagins in MATSH there mouni was talking abt if one partner of the naag is killed the other partner will register the face of killer in her eyes and the partner will stalk and kill the killer
so this is what i guess though not sure abt it