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Now I'm not even going to try and guess what Usha's educational background is or how she was raised as a kid. There are an infinite number of scenarios and for me to list them all out and build my hypothesis.. it's irrational.
What I am going to do however, is give you a generic understanding of why Usha's mentality is the way that it is.
We know for a fact that the Sarna's belong to a Sikh background. But this does not mean that there cannot be influence brought over from other cultures especially in a diverse country like India. Popular religions and their scriptural teachings are bound to cross over or will be interacted in some shape or form.
If Usha had come into contact with any ancient Hindu dharmic text or was taught any of the moral teachings from these texts, then her subservient outlook on how a woman should perform is not unfathomable.
Most of these dharmic texts diminished a woman's role to such an extent that they might as well be non-existent. The women are ordered to have no mental agency and are only to act as per the wishes of the man that they are serving under. Pre-marriage, they must answer to their fathers; after marriage to their husbands and in old age, to their sons. Apart from these three facts, a woman had no existence. Her entire life is dictated by a man and she must live for a man. Her purpose was to bear male sons and if she failed to do so, she will be punished. If she looked at any man apart from her husband which could be assumed as being provocative, then she would be accused of adultery and punished.
In short, she was nothing but flesh and bones to be used at the man's disposal.
This type of early dharmic text ideology falls in line Usha's ideology on how a wife should behave. Her attitude and behavior with Manohar is similar to the extent that she obeys his every will and endures his abuse without any resistance. But she differs from the submissive ideology where she has recently begun to ask her husband questions and "taunt" him in regards to their new bahu.
In the more recent dharmic texts, women have been written as having more mental agencies and autonomy over their lives, but it is always open to being manipulated into a sexual manner. In most cases, the woman is depicted as being a seductress or throwing her body around without any care. That she is controlled by her passions more than she is by her mind and rationale.
This new ideology again falls in line with Usha's perspective on what she sees as being the "modern girl". To her, a modern girl is someone who is sexually active, does not invest time in unifying relationships, is incredibly independent and outspoken, does not have respect for the centuries old faith and tradition etc.
To her, Twinkle is everything that Usha is not. Twinkle is completely the opposite of who Usha is and what she stands for. There is a huge generational gap, ethical gap, and mental gap between the two women where Twinkle is able to understand Usha's position and her beliefs and values but Usha is unwilling to invest the time to learn Twinkle's.
Usha is a woman who believes in the ways of the old times because they have worked "well" in their favor. Women who do as they are told, who do not step out of their maryada, who follow in the steps of their ancestors, are the type that Usha believes in and in some case wants Twinkle to be as well. She is unable to grasp that just because the future is unpredictable, that does not mean that finding haven in the past is a wise choice. You can only move on in life if you take the initiative to face the unknown.
Usha wanting to claim Alisha as her daughter-in-law was a HUGE step taken by her albeit it was the wrong one. She had finally acted on her own but it was a complete failure. For right now, Usha is acting but in a highly regressive manner. She is not bringing happiness to her son by bringing such negativity into his life.
If Usha is so adamant on fulfilling her dharma then she should realize that her dharma is towards her husband - Manohar - not her son. Yes, she has a duty towards Kunj as well, but her duty as a mother should not impede on Twinkle's duty as a wife. Now that Kunj has gotten married, it is Twinkle's right to fulfill her dharma in whichever way she chooses.
Usha really needs to let go of these regressive ideologies that she may have obtained from these dharmic texts and find a new perspective where she can learn how to balance her dharma as a wife but also her dharma as a woman.
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