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They are kids.
No this isn't about how they ended up ticking off their first bucket list wish and then walked hand in hand in utmost glee and laughed like they had never laughed before. It's about how their happiness had been short-lived once and all so all they want to do is shower each other with happiness. It's not about how he laid on top of her and how she placed her tiny palms against his chest as he gazed deep into her eyes because they were horny. It's about wanting to assure the soul through the eyes that this is all real. It's not about how she demands for random things like wine glasses and he will go to any extent to fulfil those wishes even if it means having to make them out of banana leaves. It's about how she whispers lines like "jaldi aana" because she is fearful of staying alone now.
It's not about getting drunk and siting back to back and smiling to the heart's content. It's about tying each other back to one another through the bond of forever togetherness because they've lived apart for too long now. It's not about yo's and ya's or swaying and swooning because they are drunk. It's about living the moment because love has been attained once again. It's not just about gazing up at the stars and sighing upon their beauty. It's also about having that inner-guilt that she wasn't able to shine for him.
So why is it wrong to be happy today? Why is it wrong that they are smiling rather than crying? They were love-deprived. They had forgotten how to smile. They had become miserable in each other's absence. And today. It's all about fulfilling the promise to keeping one another happy. It's about fulfilling the promise that they will live to what they deserve. And they deserve happiness.
They chose a moon. Because they want to create a world of their own. He says let's adopt the stars, but she denies because it's already too overcrowded. She wants to take him somewhere far. Somewhere safe. Away from the evils of the worldly demons. They dream of a home. A happy family. A complete world of only the people they can trust, they love and the people who mean no harm to them
Then they tread into the more finer details. A modular kitchen. An open balcony. Why? To gaze at the stars. His stars. Because she has embraced them as hers too now. Then they go uh oh. How do we get hold of this moon? And she comes up with the best plan. To steal it. She will go to any extent to steal every bit of happiness from this universe for him. Just so she can keep him happy. Keep him safe. Keep him protected. They smile, hug, laugh and dream. Because they deserve all of this. And then she feels sleepy. It's not because she's had a long day. It's because she's had sleepless nights over the last four months. Hallucinations. Memories. Sufferings. She's exhausted. But now that he's here, she knows she can go to sleep without a single worry on her mind.
"Good morning". Her reaction is so instantaneous. She straight away reaches out for him even with closed eyes because she needs his touch to know he's there and always will be there. But he's not. And she panics. No. It can't happen again. You see why she wanted to become the reason he smiles. You see why she wanted to make him laugh. You see why she wanted to gift him back the twinkle in his eyes again. Because she's scared of life now. She's scared she'll wake up one morning and find him snatched away again. She's scared they'll lose their touch again. The eyes tear up. Her stuttering cries to him. Her restless eyes. Quivering lips. But one sight of him, and she clings onto him for her dear life. She can't let him go ever. And he isn't allowed to leave her ever. But. The fear lives on.
She hadn't forgotten anything. She wasn't being ignorant. She had just numbed it. Because they are kids and sometime running away from our fears makes it easier to deal with the pain. Because it's like what if she wakes up one morning and he's not there or she's not with him. But she always knew she could never run away from it. From her fears. And now that it's haunting her again, she will face it. Break. Shatter. And he will pick her up to heal her again.
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I promised to some I would write on the day I was left with a happy heart. And yesterday I was. To the people who are my family - big big hugs to you all. Stay smiling. ❤️
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