A Rich spoilt brat

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#31

The girl has to cook for the entire family, go to work, give the salary to the mother in law, not to open her mouth, keep an obedient face etc. etc.She should understand all those quirky characters and empathise with them too. In short she should forget herself and her needs and her ego and her self respect and her mayka except for asking for scooters and cars.

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pp29

@pp29

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Posted: 10 years ago

#32

I don't think Riya's home skills are a problem at all. She should not be expected to be earning money and as well as handling the house like a champ. Sadly, this is the situation most women face in almost every city in India, where they are expected to work and balance home with the ability of a super ninja. The expectations from Riya are similar to reality. But, my problem is not expectation, but my problem is communication. Riya, as much as I understand that she is new to the house, she makes little effort to understand anybody, or even communicate with anybody. I am sorry to break the bubble people of the 21st century live in, but a newly married wife has to make efforts. As much as the family needs to make efforts to accomodate her into a new house too. In this case, neither party makes efforts, just piles on expectations and disappointments. Khusiya, understands the basic fact that Riya is from a liberal house and it will take her time to adjust into a house that is so archaic in it's functioning. Riya on the other hand, does not understand that. She makes sad puppy faces when she is expected to KNOW cooking, or KNOW how to run a house. I am not saying SHE HAS TO KNOW, all I am saying is she HAS TO UNDERSTAND that this family runs a certain way and hence they have these expectations that don't match her thinking. Riya, just goes to work, gets scolded on by her SIL and MIL, and then goes to her room and cries. She needs to come to terms with what she has married into and try and get closer to her MIL or SIL's. Instead she just frowns, pouts, cries and whines. Even the day her dad had an attack, she did not communicate properly that she had told shivam, had to go to her dad's for the pooja and then her dad had the attack. she did not try calling nimmi or preeti and kept unsuccessfully calling Shivam 15 times. Arey, shivam is not the one going to get angry, it is your mil, so try and inform her. Or the minute you come home, tell your story coherently. Instead she took the scolding and kept crying. How are they going to know what really happened?

On the other hand, Khusiya, is so dumb that it makes me want to sometimes slap her out of her 15th century slumber. She sees first hand what devious tricks Shanti devi plays to make her look like a villain in front of her DIL, but doesn't use half the brain to understand that she has to communicate with her DIL, instead of scolding her and simply expecting things from her. She understands that Riay comes from a different family, so why not have a loving chat with her one day and explain how Shanti devi runs this crazy mad house? Why expect her to know? Nimmi, is the most disappointing, because she I thought is the smartest, and most vocal person in the family and yet she fails to communicate to her bhabhi how Shanti devi controls her mother? What is this nonsense of promise to bhaiya? When Nimmi is seeing for real that Shanti manipulates both Khusiya and Riya and it is taking a toll on their relationships, why not sit her bhabhi down and explain how the culprit is not her mom, but her granny? Instead she expects Riya to simply understand that Khusiya is a cow and not a monster? Arre, but the girl is new, how will she know? It's so simple, but they make it so complicated!

Worst of the lot is our golden boy Shivam! Most of the blame lies on his shoulders alone. What kind of stupid bubble is he living in? Isn't it his responsibility more than that of his mom or sisters to explain to Riya how his house works? He has time to lock eyes with her, and keep staring, but not to open his mouth and solve these misunderstandings? How does he solve them? By saying " my mom is not like this, you have to understand and take the family with you and stand by me" Excuse me! How will Riya know how your mother is, especially if all she has seen her do is yell and taunt and scold her? But no, mister expects her to simply love his mom, despite all the crazy antics his mom has been displaying for a while. Saddest part is shanti is not a closet villain, her evilness is known to all of these idiots, yet they don't feel the need to let Riya in on the biggest secret in their house. and Shivam has seen his mom suffer for years, at the hand of his granny and seen how his dad NEVER EVER stands up for her, and always sides with his mom. Yet, Shivam wants to be EXACTLY the same and put Riya through EXACTLY what his mom has had to suffer? One would think he would like to change things for his mom and wife, but no, he wants Riya to be just another Khusiya and himself to be just another spineless Raghava. You'd expect a lot more from an educated and smart and sensitive boy, than what Shivam has been doing off late, dodging important conversations with his wife and instead running around his mom's pallu like a scaredy cat.

These all nincompoops need a severe lesson and for all their stupidity, Shanti continues to rule and play mind games and make them all suffer.

Edited by pp29 - 10 years ago

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CoolBeans86

@CoolBeans86

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#33

Originally posted by: Leelalore
@coolbeans, Very, very well said! You praise your MIL -I'm

sure she's nice but I think her DIL is great!⭐️👏

Awww, thank you my lovely, that is such a very kind thing to say 🤗

But yeah lol I love my MIL to bits; heart of gold that one

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CoolBeans86

@CoolBeans86

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#34

@pp29

Hey pp29

Actually agree with a lot, if not most, of what you said! Ive said a few times and in different ways in other posts more or less similar things about total lack of communication amongst all the family members (especially on Riyas part- which is why I don't actually like her character much- its deviated so much from what was the original promo- was actually looking forward to her setting people straight, not allowing herself to be turned into mini-Khusiya)

She is supposed to be someone who can just be upfront and communicative - just as she was with her own dad and dadi-bua...but not seeing that at all here, in fact she is turning into Khusiya. That being said- as Ive said so many times now lol she might not be communicating what is going on in her head, her worries etc (like not being able to do housework as per their standards or the heart attack thing) but she isn't being malicious or purposeful about it. After today's episode Khusiya has just gone to the pits really- what more can be said of that woman? It was a purposeful taunt on Shivam to not take care of his wife just because her husband didn't take care of her- as you said, archaic. But it wasn't an innocent request- she was peed off and annoyed that a man was serving his wife etc and she stopped it because she didn't want the embarrassment. Not because she gave a hoot about her son's relationship with his wife- but because she was embarrassed. Im just not seeing how Khusiya understands the basic fact that riya is from a liberal household and that it will take her time to adjust? I mean yeah- she SAYS those things, but her actions are the opposite. I don't see her being patient- its not really been that long that they've been married (I mean flippin heck I don't even know if they've even consummated at this point?!)- and Khusiya is jumping down her throat left right and centre. Now instead of talking to riya herself about the salary- she did a "shanti" and asked shivam to do her dirty work. She wont allow her son to take his wife some tea but shes more than happy to take the womans salary? And the bint thinks she knows shanti so well that the woman will put it all in savings?! Yikes. But as you yourself have said pp29- Khusiya and Shivam and Neemi are just gone off the deep end. And yes- I do see your point about Riya communicating- but only up to a point. At the end of the day, before she can feel free and open enough to share whats going on in her head she has to feel a modicum of warmth from these people. Havent seen her MIL sit down with her and have a heart to heart, haven't seen Nimmi do it... today itself Nimmis reaction when Riya said why did you come up? Lets go have tea together...over reaction much? Ahhh anyway- we are all repeating the same things over and over- all of us. The only thing Im really honing in on is this thing with Riya why she's being treated as such... and yes she is being a bit of a cry baby... BUT if you put it into context, she's just got married, shes already having problems with her husband (who is quickly turning out to be something/someone other than whom she thought she fell in love with), one SIL constantly attacks anything and everything she says, the other doesn't speak to her, the closest thing to a mother figure she'll experience on a daily basis is nit picking and criticising everything she does without giving her the time to adjust and her FIL is MIA and now dadi-saas just seems to both intimidate and praise her (twisted)- so all in all... she cant win can she? If she speaks she'll get criticized for daring to question/state her opinion- her MIL has already told her not to talk back to her elders on several occasions now (and by the way Khusiya has been responding to her, this is no stretch of the imagination to believe that this would actually happen- I mean I bet you if she told her about the heart attack she would have said "oh I hope your dad is fine, but still you should this and you should that" it would have been swept under the carpet in all probability) and if she keeps her mouth shut then she's inviting it on herself. So it appears she cant win no matter how she responds to these people. And Shivam? Don't get me started on that good for nothing lout. He's a boy-child living in lalaloopsy land thinking marriage is a game!

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K*GiLL

@cbcd_86

Beginner

Posted: 10 years ago

#35

@CoolBeans86 .. I agree with every lil thing uve said ! .. its nice to see that u can understand all these things even tho ur MIL is awesome ! .. Usually ppl get it after they go through the same ..

Shivam should man up for sure and Riya should stand up for herself as well .. otherwise it's just history being repeated .. and the show is portraying that it is normal for a DIL to be treated like that and all is expected from the new family member ..

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CoolBeans86

@CoolBeans86

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: cbcd_86
@CoolBeans86 .. I agree with every lil thing uve said ! .. its nice to see that u can understand all these things even tho ur MIL is awesome ! .. Usually ppl get it after they go through the same ..

Shivam should man up for sure and Riya should stand up for herself as well .. otherwise it's just history being repeated .. and the show is portraying that it is normal for a DIL to be treated like that and all is expected from the new family member ..

Hehe 😆 thank you muchly cbcd

I have a huge family and that comes with all this BS you see in this show! Ive seen my mother being demeaned and degraded as so when my dad was out the country and we had to live with her in-laws- even to the point where she beat the crap out of me because her FIL told her off for my misbehaviour (at the tender age of seven! all I did was sit on some flowers!). The guilt that racked her after that is something she probably will never forgive herself for- but even then I could see through it. I was scared and very hurt but knew she wasnt acting herself- she allowed herself to be manipulated into harming someone she loved more than anything in the world. Thats the power of giving "your" power away to another. I guess maybe thats why I loathe Khusiya so much- she didnt just do it once and learn from it- she keeps doing it over and over again. Its sickening! Anyway- I may not have experienced a MIL like that, but still seen it first hand. She was my own dadi (LOL yeah I know, Shanti even looks like my dadi- when my mum walks in the room she cant stop chuckling because even she thinks she looks like her and the bizarre thing is Sarla looks exactly like my aunts too, its very strange! 😆) My own dadi threw hot milk on me when I was maybe eight or nine all because I tripped up and spilled some of it on my cousin- she thought I did it on purpose so she decided to give me a taste of of my own medicine so to speak! So Ive experienced some similar situations as in this show! Maybe thats why I cant stop talking about it 😉 And why I appreciate my MIL so much- shes not perfect- but she treats me like a human being and the more I see her good qualities the more she reveals them to me. Just as there are vicious cycles there are beautiful ones too!

As for Shivam (eye roll 😒) this idiot. I think hes still a child, very immature mentality especially after the snippet of last nights episode that I watched. Couldnt believe how he was treating Riya- even after she profusely apologised it was like watching an 11 year old boy saying "no! I dont care! youre stupid!" Basically thats what that looked like. Cant stomach their "love" scenes anymore- its actually creeping me out eeek!

And yes Riya should stand up for herself- I was looking forward to that because thats what we were told would happen. They lied! (hissing right now lol 😆).

Its scary but many people in real life actually think its ok to treat a DIL like that- or just anyone in general. You would think this tv show would be the perfect platform to send a message of hope and strength to people actually going through this kind of treatment but alas the audience are being taught how to treat people worse than animals- and sickeningly under the guise of humour!

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K*GiLL

@cbcd_86

Beginner

Posted: 10 years ago

#37

@coolbeans86 .. darn .. sad to hear that .. but its all good for u now ! .. its either before marriage or after marriage that u go through all that ! unless ur very lucky n don't go through it at all .. I cant watch that drama infront of my in-laws cuz it sends out a message that I think is not right .. especially when my husband raises the TV volume if something is being said in their favor .. lets not go there now .. YIKES 🥱

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CoolBeans86

@CoolBeans86

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#38

Originally posted by: cbcd_86
@coolbeans86 .. darn .. sad to hear that .. but its all good for u now ! .. its either before marriage or after marriage that u go through all that ! unless ur very lucky n don't go through it at all .. I cant watch that drama infront of my in-laws cuz it sends out a message that I think is not right .. especially when my husband raises the TV volume if something is being said in their favor .. lets not go there now .. YIKES 🥱

Hey cbcd, thanks for your reply 😊

Yeah it was a sad situation- but I wouldnt change it for anything. Thats how people learn and grow and figure out who they are , right? If everything was happy dappy then our characters would never get tested- thats how you know who the "real" people are in your life. As well as yourself- so no, wouldnt change a thing! 😃 And yes hehe it is definitely all good now. As I said it was just me, my mum and my brother living with her in-laws and dad was back in UK and that family got away with ALL sorts. And my mum was young, impressionable and under alot of pressure to do their "bidding"-it was scary how she turned into someone else entirely whilst living under their roof. The minute we had our own place built we couldnt get out of there fast enough and things quickly returned to normal! Oh but when my dad came back to visit- yikes- he gave his mum a serious bollo*king! Ive never seen him speak to his family like that- Im hoping Shivam grows some man balls and does the same honestly!! 😆

And yeah youre right- if you go through that before marriage its probably that youve witnessed it happen to someone else or if it's after- then you're the unlucky recipient of it. I think people who HAVE gone through it BUT learned to navigate through it are very lucky- it makes you grow. But if you go through that and turn into Khusiya or Preethi- then yeah youre doomed until you take a risk and speak up for yourself.

I'm the opposite- I think Ive seen so much bullcrap happen in my family- people getting demeaned and insulted and taken advantage of- that I would probably make a point to get my in-laws to watch it ( especially if they had a predisposition to act like shanti and sarla)- Id be yakking on and on about it until they were clear that I wouldnt be accepting any of that kind of behaviour, thank you very much! 😆 Obviously though- if my husband doesnt support me- then yeah YIKES 😆 - lets not go there- thats a whole other topic!

Hey, its great reading your posts! 😛 Thank you for replying! 😊

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K*GiLL

@cbcd_86

Beginner

Posted: 10 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: CoolBeans86

Hey cbcd, thanks for your reply😊
Yeah it was a sad situation- but I wouldnt change it for anything. Thats how people learn and grow and figure out who they are , right? If everything was happy dappy then our characters would never get tested- thats how you know who the "real" people are in your life. As well as yourself- so no, wouldnt change a thing!😃And yes hehe it is definitely all good now. As I said it was just me, my mum and my brother living with her in-laws and dad was back in UK and that family got away with ALL sorts. And my mum was young, impressionable and under alot of pressure to do their "bidding"-it was scary how she turned into someone else entirely whilst living under their roof. The minute we had our own place built we couldnt get out of there fast enough and things quickly returned to normal! Oh but when my dad came back to visit- yikes- he gave his mum a serious bollo*king! Ive never seen him speak to his family like that- Im hoping Shivam grows some man balls and does the same honestly!!😆
And yeah youre right- if you go through that before marriage its probably that youve witnessed it happen to someone else or if it's after- then you're the unlucky recipient of it. I think people who HAVE gone through it BUT learned to navigate through it are very lucky- it makes you grow. But if you go through that and turn into Khusiya or Preethi- then yeah youre doomed until you take a risk and speak up for yourself.
I'm the opposite- I think Ive seen so much bullcrap happen in my family- people getting demeaned and insulted and taken advantage of- that I would probably make a point to get my in-laws to watch it ( especially if they had a predisposition to act like shanti and sarla)- Id be yakking on and on about it until they were clear that I wouldnt be accepting any of that kind of behaviour, thank you very much!😆Obviously though- if my husband doesnt support me- then yeah YIKES😆- lets not go there- thats a whole other topic!
Hey, its great reading your posts!😛Thank you for replying!😊

ur right .. it makes u grow, learn a lot abt urself n others .. theres only so much u can take .. m sure riya will speak up n shivam will realize .. hes stuck in d middle .. doesn't kno how to handle the situation .. its different mentality .. the generation gap .. they see everything as normal as they've grown in that family ! its just if they can point out ur flaws .. u can point out theirs too then as no ones perfect and u cant change someones personality .. its just the way they r .. everyone is different ! I can go on and on abt this lol ..

Edited by cbcd_86 - 10 years ago

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