Can I kiss you?

Ridiculous and absurd the title sounds. My sister recently started her sophomore year in college and she said she had attended one of the recommended welcome week presentations. The name of the presentation was 'Can I kiss You' I chuckled what sort of presentation could that be. However, when she revealed the contents of a presentation I began to realize what a thought provoking and intelligent presentation it was for people of all ages, specially vulnerable youth in college.

The presentation is conducted by a few colleges across the United States. It was started by a woman whose daughter was date raped in an effort to create awareness and caution amidst modern day youth.

Many teenagers and young adults (and some older ones too) face the pressure of sex and other acts of physical intimacy from their significant others. Many are hesitant and not ready to do so, but are emotionally coerced to give in and often end up regretting it. Some unlucky ones get physically coerced and do not know what to do. Some careless ones get drunk and do things they regret. They are unable to figure out what to do as they are surrounded by the guilt that it is their fault.

This presentation teaches people how to protect themselves, avoid such situations and learn to have healthy positive relationships.

It teaches people that forcing someone to have sex or engage in physical contact whether physically, emotionally or by intoxication is against the law.

The "Can I kiss You" aspect teaches people to respect the boundaries of other people. Don't assume, don't expect, don't force, in every aspect of the relationship make sure that both people are willing and comfortable with what is going on. Just because your significant other kissed you or had sex the previous night does not mean they did not second guess themselves and will want to do it again. Just because someone is your gf/bf, fiance or spouse does not mean you are at the liberty to expect them to do as you please.

How vital do you think such information is for people?
I have not lived in India for a while now, but will Indian youth also benefit from such information. Our culture is conservative, but sometimes because of that conservative nature youth end up making many uninformed decisions?
How can you protect your own dignity?
How do you ensure that you never trespass the dignity of someone you care about?

wonderful thoughts.... will come back with my opinions mostly positive 😊

I am in sophomore year as well and I do see these things happening around and there and be it India or America, youth needs the education very much!

How vital do you think such information is for people?

Very vital. If they understand different aspects of physical relationships through these presentations, then I am all for it. So very often, girls give in to the guys' wishes because they "love" them. If such presentations knock sense into them, then why not?

I have not lived in India for a while now, but will Indian youth also benefit from such information. Our culture is conservative, but sometimes because of that conservative nature youth end up making many uninformed decisions?

This happens more in India than in America. As far as I have seen youth of my age, girls in India (or Indian girls in general) are yet not open for physical intimacy with their boyfriends/ fiances. The guys force them in a way that it does not appear like force and even though they are not willing, girls go for it just to make "him" happy and yes, they definitely end up regretting. In America, as far as I have seen, girls have a clear idea about what they want and tell the guy to draw a line when they want to. And so, I feel such education and awareness needs to be brought to the students of India ASAP.

How can you protect your own dignity?

By speaking up, of course. When I was in India, I used to attend some extra classes when I was in 9th grade and there were tea stalls on ground floor. Everyday the girls would walk past those stalls, and the men there would ogle. Once in a while, they would come and hug the girls and would try to touch them in the wrong ways. The girls would just run away from there and would walk past the ogling eyes every day without speaking up. Some people stopped coming to the classes but they never spoke up with the fear of people asking questions. As long as this attitude prevails, one can not maintain her/his dignity.

How do you ensure that you never trespass the dignity of someone you care about?

Respect yout significant other and never taken him/her for granted. As long as respect exists, I don't think a loving person will trespass someone's dignity.

Originally posted by: rutumodi915

I am in sophomore year as well and I do see these things happening around and there and be it India or America, youth needs the education very much!

How vital do you think such information is for people?

Very vital. If they understand different aspects of physical relationships through these presentations, then I am all for it. So very often, girls give in to the guys' wishes because they "love" them. If such presentations knock sense into them, then why not?

I have not lived in India for a while now, but will Indian youth also benefit from such information. Our culture is conservative, but sometimes because of that conservative nature youth end up making many uninformed decisions?

This happens more in India than in America. As far as I have seen youth of my age, girls in India (or Indian girls in general) are yet not open for physical intimacy with their boyfriends/ fiances. The guys force them in a way that it does not appear like force and even though they are not willing, girls go for it just to make "him" happy and yes, they definitely end up regretting. In America, as far as I have seen, girls have a clear idea about what they want and tell the guy to draw a line when they want to. And so, I feel such education and awareness needs to be brought to the students of India ASAP.

How can you protect your own dignity?

By speaking up, of course. When I was in India, I used to attend some extra classes when I was in 9th grade and there were tea stalls on ground floor. Everyday the girls would walk past those stalls, and the men there would ogle. Once in a while, they would come and hug the girls and would try to touch them in the wrong ways. The girls would just run away from there and would walk past the ogling eyes every day without speaking up. Some people stopped coming to the classes but they never spoke up with the fear of people asking questions. As long as this attitude prevails, one can not maintain her/his dignity.

How do you ensure that you never trespass the dignity of someone you care about?

Respect yout significant other and never taken him/her for granted. As long as respect exists, I don't think a loving person will trespass someone's dignity.

Very well-said! I agree.. 👏👏

Why Everything compare with US, 😳 I agree some good point in US culture 😊
but We have our own culture and we keep our tradition and values...Our girls are so sweet n brave too...B4 something happen they protect themself n they drow line.....in US sub finish hone ke baad they drow the line... 😉

Originally posted by: Believe

Why Everything compare with US, 😳 I agree some good point in US culture 😊
but We have our own culture and we keep our tradition and values...Our girls are so sweet n brave too...B4 something happen they protect themself n they drow line.....in US sub finish hone ke baad they drow the line... 😉

RTH is in America but is an India, to fir kya compare kare? India and America only na? And as far as I concerned, I have not experience European, African or Australian cultures and hence, can not comment on either of them! Sowwwy 😳

And that is exactly the point that Indian girls are so sweet that they do all that the guy says. I refuse to believe that American girls draw a line after everything is over. They take care of themselves much better than us Indians do. They get into a physical relationship only when they feel it is comfortable, not when the guy feels the time is right. The latter is exactly the case with Indian girls.

@QT di: Thankoo 😳

Originally posted by: rutumodi915

I am in sophomore year as well and I do see these things happening around and there and be it India or America, youth needs the education very much!

How vital do you think such information is for people?

Very vital. If they understand different aspects of physical relationships through these presentations, then I am all for it. So very often, girls give in to the guys' wishes because they "love" them. If such presentations knock sense into them, then why not?

I have not lived in India for a while now, but will Indian youth also benefit from such information. Our culture is conservative, but sometimes because of that conservative nature youth end up making many uninformed decisions?

This happens more in India than in America. As far as I have seen youth of my age, girls in India (or Indian girls in general) are yet not open for physical intimacy with their boyfriends/ fiances. The guys force them in a way that it does not appear like force and even though they are not willing, girls go for it just to make "him" happy and yes, they definitely end up regretting. In America, as far as I have seen, girls have a clear idea about what they want and tell the guy to draw a line when they want to. And so, I feel such education and awareness needs to be brought to the students of India ASAP.

How can you protect your own dignity?

By speaking up, of course. When I was in India, I used to attend some extra classes when I was in 9th grade and there were tea stalls on ground floor. Everyday the girls would walk past those stalls, and the men there would ogle. Once in a while, they would come and hug the girls and would try to touch them in the wrong ways. The girls would just run away from there and would walk past the ogling eyes every day without speaking up. Some people stopped coming to the classes but they never spoke up with the fear of people asking questions. As long as this attitude prevails, one can not maintain her/his dignity.

How do you ensure that you never trespass the dignity of someone you care about?

Respect yout significant other and never taken him/her for granted. As long as respect exists, I don't think a loving person will trespass someone's dignity.

thanks for saving my time in typing..... agree with u except for i m not a girl and i m not in sophomore year😆

@ rutumodi915
By speaking up, of course. When I was in India, I used to attend some extra classes when I was in 9th grade and there were tea stalls on ground floor. Everyday the girls would walk past those stalls, and the men there would ogle. Once in a while, they would come and hug the girls and would try to touch them in the wrong ways. The girls would just run away from there and would walk past the ogling eyes every day without speaking up. Some people stopped coming to the classes but they never spoke up with the fear of people asking questions. As long as this attitude prevails, one can not maintain her/his dignity.

Does this means girls in India has no diginity?. if the parents took some pain to check the welfare of the child this things will not happened.
I myself from a rural back ground. Neither myself nor my children(in city) face this so far.Some care from the parent now and then/ the school authorities helps to avoid this kind of happenings.

Originally posted by: nitasuni

@ rutumodi915

[quote=rutumodi915]By speaking up, of course. When I was in India, I used to attend some extra classes when I was in 9th grade and there were tea stalls on ground floor. Everyday the girls would walk past those stalls, and the men there would ogle. Once in a while, they would come and hug the girls and would try to touch them in the wrong ways. The girls would just run away from there and would walk past the ogling eyes every day without speaking up. Some people stopped coming to the classes but they never spoke up with the fear of people asking questions. As long as this attitude prevails, one can not maintain her/his dignity. [/quote]

Does this means girls in India has no diginity?. if the parents took some pain to check the welfare of the child this things will not happened.
I myself from a rural back ground. Neither myself nor my children(in city) face this so far.Some care from the parent now and then/ the school authorities helps to avoid this kind of happenings.

Oh no no, of course I did not mean that girls in India have no dignity. That would make myself undignified also. 😳 and I know that I am anything but undignified! So no, I did not and will not ever say that Indian girls have no dignity.

Yes, parents should take care but how are parents going to trail their 14-15 year old girls everywhere and it is not that they have no dignity and want these things to happen to them. It's just that they are scared and are afraid to speak up and that is wrong. And we can not blame them either as our society is such that there could be problems, but all I was saying was that they have come out of their shell and should speak up about their problems they are facing. Parents and school authorities can not reach everywhere and a girl ought to know how to take care of herself, be it in a rural area or an urban area!

And there is no possible way you can say that girls faced those problem because their parents were careless. If a parent goes to drop his/her daughter to some classes and something happened when they were climbing the stairs, how in the world is it the parents' fault? If some men are animals, what are the girls or their parents supposed to do? 😕

It is the duty of the mother to tell her child to react if she is not comfortable. even when my children are of six years I told them never let others to touch them unnecessarily and if they donn't comfortable with others to tell the same to me )it was a class given to me by may parents). Then later I sent them for martial art class and told them it is also for practical uses, if necessary, but to date not used.

Droping a child to the classes, usually I wait there until somebody responsible came to the class or a group of children are there.