Chapter 66 One name. That's all it took. His body went completely loose and he didn't even try to resist her push. He simply fell onto the bed and turned his face away. It was anger nor was it hurt. He was simply numb. He heard her cries in the back of his head, but for once he couldn't. He couldn't turn around, take her into his arms and simply say it's okay. Maybe because this time it wasn't okay...he wasn't okay.
Each and every time, he was pushed away, it hurt a lot. He loved her and she loved him yet it just didn't seem to be enough to move on. He would be broken each time she cried in his arms over a man who didn't care, each time they were kept away from each other because of a person who wasn't even there. But he never showed his emotions. He kept his pain, anger, frustration all in him when he would see her. Her broken state made him forget hers and he would console her saying it was fine if things didn't work out, but it wasn't fine. He wasn't fine after getting pushed away by his wife who loved him due to an ex, but he kept quiet and today he couldn't pretend to be fine. It had just become too much for him. He couldn't bring himself to wipe her tears when he couldn't even do that for himself, he couldn't hug her when moments after being pushed away tonight, and he couldn't say it's okay when it simply wasn't.
As it finally sunk into her head that if she felt so bad about saying his name, how Raman would feel hearing her ex's name. She immediately turned over to him only to see his back facing her. She held his shoulder hoping he would turn, but she got nothing from him. She gently shook him and when she got nothing again, she held back her sobs as she gently shook him trying to get him to turn around but all in vain. She composed herself and gently tried to say something to him...
"Raman...I-"
"I-I'll be right back." He said without even looking back and walked out of the room to leave her to regret that one name that she called out...
~~~~~
He walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch. His mind was still trying to understand what had just happened and why. Everything was going fine, in fact much better than any other time, but then it just all went wrong. He tried to wonder if it was him again, if he was doing something wrong, but he just couldn't figure it out. He tried to think of what he did that could have made her compare him to Subbu. He felt disgusted with himself is he did do something to her or made her feel like way that man made her feel. His mind kept on wondering to those few seconds that she had called out the name he never wanted to hear or thought he would hear.
"Why?! Why is this happening? Why did she say his name?!"
She sat crying on their bed wishing to go back into time. She herself didn't know why she had said what she did and sat there regretting everything. It was supposed to be them, their night and their love, but she brought in a man who was never supposed to cross her mind especially when he did. As she was left alone, she wished she could get her feet to walk her over to him and apologize, but even she in deep inside that it was too far and he was too upset. She couldn't muster up the courage to go up to him and face him to talk since she probably wouldn't be able to forgive him if it was the other way around. She felt horrible as she thought about how it would never be the other way around because he was way too sensitive and careful when mentioning his first wife around her while she had called out her ex's name in between what was meant to be their love making.
"Why?! Why is this happening? Why did I say his name?!"
They both tried to understand where they were going wrong. Why were they not able to take their relationship ahead when there was so much love in between them? Or was their love just not strong enough that another person was able to come in between them without even being there. As tears ran down both faces unknowingly while they were lost in their thoughts and couldn't face each other for their own reasons, they both drifted off into a restless slumber in between their mental ramblings...
~~~~~
Walking out of her room to refill a glass of water, she saw something she would never expect. Her son lay out on the couch half sitting, half laying down while his wife covered him with a blanket running her hand through his hair. She couldn't understand what happened between the two and only heard a soft sniffle coming from Ishita as she caresses Raman's head. Something was very off between them and it worried her seeing the two like this. They seemed to be so happy and perfectly fine this evening when they headed for that party, but something was wrong with them, visibly wrong. She wondered what could have gone wrong, and even walked to go ask Ishita what was going on, but walked back as she saw Ishita get up hugging Raman's sleeping form as a few tears trickled down her cheek. She walked back into her room knowing it wasn't right to see them now. But she wouldn't forget her son's distressed face even in his sleep and the tears of her daughter-in-law. Something had happened, something that shouldn't have happened...
Ishita sat there simply staring at him. She had come out to check on him as her sleep broke halfway through the night and the sight she saw shattered her. He was sleeping on the couch hugging himself away from the cold. She rushed inside to get him a blanket and as she covered him, he stirred in his sleep. That's when she looked at him and was finally able to face him in his sleep at least, but couldn't stop her emotionsfrom pouring out as she saw him. His tear strained face brought tears to her eyes and the lines on his forehead brought a frown on her face. Her guilt had no bounds as she watched him tensed in his sleep, the one thing she had taken away from his life had come back because of her. She had wanted to see his happiness and peace, but gave him the complete opposite of it.
"I'm so sorry...I wish I could undo everything..."
She placed her head on his chest and mumbled sorry to his sleeping figure as she hugged him tightly. She didn't know how long she stayed in that position chiding herself and apologizing. It was only when she felt him starting to wake up that she moved back. Sadly she got up letting him sleep while she went back to their room and tried to fall back asleep cuddling onto his pillow covering it with her tears...
~~~~~
He woke up with a sharp pain going up his back. Blocking his face from the sun's rays he slowly sat up in the couch taking in his surroundings. Confused at first about being on the couch, last night's incident came back into his mind upsetting him again, but then he remembered Ishita was alone in the room. He had come out to sort himself out, to be alone for a short time, but he wanted to go back to her. He didn't even know when he had fallen asleep, and realizing she had been left alone in her state after everything, he got up to see her when his mother walked out of her room. She greeted him normally acting as if she never saw him the night before, but she hadn't missed that unhappy look on his face. She asked about Ishita and him not wanting to reveal anything, simply said she was sleeping acting as if nothing had happened.
He kept on looking towards their room as he sat down on the dining table with his mom. He tried to take his mind of last night and Ishita for a while by picking up the newspaper. He glanced at the front page and was left just looking at it. A huge picture of them right in the center of the front page, he was whispering in her ear while she was looking down laughing and blushing. A smile crept up on his face as he remembered last night's party. He went over the pages containing the rest of the party's pictures to see if there were more of them. He spent a while going over the pictures as he saw a few of their dance. He went back to their dance; they had never danced before and this was the perfect first dance according to him. It seemed like the song was meant for them, like it was all about them no one else. Their steps matched without them knowing and the song told them their own journey without anyone knowing. He was smiling lost in last night's wonderful moments when Santosh walked behind him and saw what he was smiling at after al that happened last night.
"A beautiful couple."
"Oh Ma, I was going through the pictures."
"You two look lovely. And you were even dancing with her, despite with your two left feet. It's so sweet. Isn't this what you always wanted? A partner who would dance with you in front of everyone, who would accept you and be accepted by you in front of everyone. Someone who would be Mrs. Raman Bhalla proudly like she is." She fondly ran her hand over her head while he simply looked up at her.
"I did. Ma I just love her so much." He hugged his mother while she understood him perfectly as she hugged him back.
"She loves you just as much." She told him and that reminded him of her pushing him away last night. He quickly got up and walked away telling his mom he needed to go while it only made his mother believe more strongly that something had cropped up between them...
He rushed into the room as she just woke up. As she saw him first thing and he saw her getting up holding onto his pillow, he stopped in his tracks. Everything came back, they were both in the same clothes, in the same room, and they were the same people, but many unsaid things had changed. He didn't want to talk to her knowing last night would crop up and she wanted to talk to him about the same. He started to walk away while she got out of bed rushing towards him. He was trying to avoid him, but she stopped his way in between. Holding his hand, she took a moment before she tried to apologize...
"Raman I'm so sor-"
"I'm in a bit of a rush. Sorry." He said not looking at her.
"But last night...you had to sleep out. Raman your back-" She tried to start with something else.
"It's fine, umm I have to rush." He continued to avoid her.
"Listen I want to say-"
"Meeting Ishita, I have to go." And he carefully moved her hand off his and walked away...
Minutes later when he came out, she tried to approach him again, but he quietly picked up his files and got busy with them. She quietly went to him with his things. She forward his watch and without a word, he took it and put it on. The same followed with his phone, handkerchief and tie. As he stood in front of the mirror adjusting his tie silently, he noticed her looking at him with teary eyes. He turned around and she lowered her head hiding her tears. He brought his hand up to her to wipe her tears, but backed off remembering everything and he simply couldn't. But then he heard her soft whimper and she was ready to breakdown. He couldn't see it and carefully lifted her face wiping off her tears as she closed her eyes. She waited for him to say anything, anything at all, but when she opened her eyes, he had already gone...
She almost ran out trying to see him before he left, but she was too late...
Sadly she began to walk back into her room knowing it wouldn't be so easy to fix everything and his ignorance towards her wasn't helping right now. She was stopped by a voice...
"Ishita can I talk to you?" She turned around and found Santosh looking at her. She slowly walked over to her and took Ruhi who was eager to come into her arms. The two women sat down on the couch...
"What happened Mummyji, you look upset."
"I'm more confused. This morning I saw Raman, out on the couch. He slept in the living room, why?"
"I...Mummyji...Raman..." She played with Ruhi's hair trying to avoid her mother-in-law. Realizing her awkwardness, Santosh tried to begin from the start again and be straightforward.
"I know I shouldn't interfere, it's between you two. But please sort it out, he looked very upset even in his sleep this morning. And if it's his fault that he had to sleep on the couch, then tell me. I'll talk to him, but try to sort this out. Because it's visible both of you are upset over something, so it's better for both of you to fix that."
"Mummyji...we'll sort everything. It wasn't his fault so don't anything to him. I need to talk to him and fix things up."
"I'm always here to help. If you need help for anything, just ask. And I mean anything."
"Thank you. All I can ask is, please don't mention any of this to Raman. Don't talk about this whole mess I created, it'll just upset him."
"Everything you do, you always think of him first, don't you? Now I know you two will be fine soon for sure."
"I wish I had thought of him last night..." Ishita mumbled under breath.
"What's that?"
"Nothing."
"Ishita he's not angry. He's hurt. And he's going to put himself in a shell because you really are the only one he talks to. I almost lost Raman after Shagun left, I don't want it to happen again. I never knew what happened between them that changed my son so much, and I don't want to know what happened between you two, I just want it sorted. I'm telling you this and not him not because I feel it's because of you. Ishita you may be younger than him, but you're much more sorted. He's very emotional and he doesn't talk about his feelings. You can talk and you can hold your emotions from what I've seen. Please Ishita don't let him make himself isolated." Her mother-in-law looked at her with tear filled eyes almost begging her not to let her son fall back into a condition he just got out of.
Her words just reminded her of what Raman was. He would back off but not express his disappointment or anger. She would be the one to do something now. He would never say anything unless she made him and now he wouldn't ever forgive her until she made him...
"Mummyji we will sort out everything. Raman will never go back to his old state..." She excused herself to her room as she knew something needed to be done about this before Raman backed off too far...
~~~~~
He popped another painkiller after another staff meeting. He hardly paid attention to what was happening and needed to be nudged numerous times throughout. But she was all he had in mind. He held his head as he had a few minutes before he was supposed to head out for a conference, and the important meetings were distance in his mind. Her words, more like that one name was stuck in his head.
Ever since this morning, she had called him many times, left numerous voicemails and messages, but half of them had been left unheard or unread and they both knew why. He received a card this morning as well with her apology written out, but it remained on his desk unread because he didn't want an apology. He knew she didn't want to yell out a name that gave her so much pain, but it was too much for him. And he had thought for a long time all morning and decided he didn't want to continuous try to progress every night and fail so they both would be hurt. He had decided to back off. And this time it was for both of them...
___________________________________________________
That was all for now! Hope you all liked it and will leave your feedback! Looking forward to reading it! And once again I'm so sorry for this delay, but have been super busy going back to school and still in a recovery process. So hopefully I'll update soon for the next update! Thank you for once again for understanding and sorry to keep you all waiting for so long!
Edited by smilesforever98 - 9 years ago
Health and Fitness
10