Arshi FF-Falling in Love Again- Ch15-19 upd 16/11 - Page 25

Originally posted by: Linsie

Beautifully written...

pure agony for both...

he did redeem for her...

the only way he can by burning his sin

Originally posted by: Sadh123

Sissy, in regard to your previous reply.. yes, I read it already..but I loved this story I am reading it again.. in both versions.n you are really good I must say..

And this update was very emotional and heart wrenching.. oh you are so good with words and I love your style of writing that definitely pulls me more into your tales.. continue as and when you get time.. <3

Originally posted by: pup03

oh god ARSHI are going through so much pain.. hope after Arnav's agni pariksha.. Khushi gives him a chance and they both give each other a chance.. agree what Arnav did in the past was worst but now he is repenting.. hope things work out for them.. loved the update..

thanks for pm 😊

Originally posted by: .ArshiHamesha.

Apt Quote Faiqa ...Todays pain makes a person dwell thru it, see thru it, suffer thru it, again rejuvenate and get up like a new one tomorrow..

ARSHI are going through so much pain ,but that is and will be their strength.. Hope after Arnav's pying this debt against all odds make his Khushi to give him a second chance and they both can learn to give each other a space of acceptance..

There is no doubt what Arnav did in the past was the worst, but now he is repenting. and mending his ways

hope things work out in between them and for them.. loved the update..

thanks for pm 😊

Originally posted by: mahrusweety

Fabuloys part
well written

Chapter 13 :

Seasons of Melancholy

Nature and I

by -Godfrey Dlima

I always find the moods within
are carved by weather, clime and time
and I can scarcely be myself
apart from nature's paradigm

the print of life that swirls around
sun and wind and rain in turn
and peoples in such hue and shape
I try to learn and yet unlearn

for deep within the heart of life
unfolds a precious mystery
spurring the seasons' freshening change
and plays the tides of history

*****

Summer :

It was in the noon.The sun was beeming its shine all over the world. The heat was such that it would burn the skin at the very moment it fell on humans. The wind was blowing in the desert. Along with the wind the sand too was flowing in the desert. Due to the wind the pattern on the sand dunes were reflecting as if the snake crawled over it with a slight slither. So many curve patterns.

It was burning hot.The sun was telling the sandunes that Im not gonna give up.I will burn you to hell.The sand was organish red. The same color of the sun and the fire and the flames.Was there any moth which was near the fire.

In mid of nowhere in the sand dunes mountians there " She Was " sitting in one of the top of the dunes..clade in a white transparent dress. Her legs below from the knee dug in the sand , her hands laid on the sand , her eyes looking at the burning sun without a wink ,continousally asking him to do or say something.

" He went bare foot walking on the desert based on the little bit foot print which was reflecting as trail which as mark was left by her ".He followed and had a small smile on his face " after finding her" .He went closer to her ..taking one step at a time .. I guess she heard the foot steps as each step left a pang of small thud thud sound rhythmic with her hearts lub tub sound as tick tock in the clock.She hooded her eyes from the sun giving a break and turned to see him coming closer to her , she gave a small smile with an attitude telling something to him ..

What was it ? ..

I will say later .. said the wind ..

He understood the question of hers from her sarcastic look of her sight. He took faster steps now. From 1 and 2, he took 1 and 3. He reached her.He went to grab her hand. The wind in the hot air blew .In a fraction of second , she disappeared in the hot wind in the sand dunes as minute particles of sand or sprinkles of sand along with the wind.He knelt down on the sand mountain and let a tear drop from his eyes not knowing what to do ?.

****

Monsoon:

Of nowhere ,she was getting drenched In the rain. Her hairs were wet.Her dress was glued to her skin showing her curves.Like a small kid ,she was splashing water all over with her jumps in the pot holes in the centre of the muddy road and calling the near by kids to play along with her.

He stood at the corner of the street and noticed her. He had a lovely smile in his face. He thought though she is grown still she is a child.The rain slowed down a bit. Her play in the water to slowed down.She saw the sky and was cursing the passing dark clouds , asking why the heck did u stop pouring?.She gave a childlike anger with her twisted lips and a small shrug in her face , expressing that she was angry with the sky and the rain.

The croak ,croak sound of the frogs and the buzzing sound of the night insects started again. She went near the climber plant near by.She took the water from the last leaf and had a taste of it in her small tounge wetting her lips and throat.The water travelled all the way from the topmost leaf till down. She quenched her thirst.

He was coming closer ..very closer now .with faster foot steps.She could realise the change in the surrounding and in the weather too. Again the slow drizzles increased its pressure and each drop became bigger and stronger.

She noticed him and gave a different questioning look to him.He gave a faint smile ,that she acknowleged her presence .She did put a question to him with her eyes though.

What is it ?

I will say later said the Rain.

He went closer to her to catch hold of her hand.She disappeared as elixir itself in the form of rain .He stood there shocked.He searched her everywhere. He couldn't locate her. He knelt down in mid of the street in the pouring rain , his face and eyes looking at the dark clouds and the lightning and the thunder banging with heavy earpeircing thud sounds.

****

Autumn :

She was planning something. She was taking stock of thinks around her.Here nothing of nature. But she was getting ready for going into a long slumber.She was searching for the wool to knit a sweater.He went near here, she disappeared leaving the yarn ball down along with the needle.

He stood there looking at the journal of her recordings.

****

Winter :

It was a place like Olga ,Russia. Where the land was filled with pieces of clouds everywhere.The sky showed blue background and filled with white clouds spread all over in mid of the day ,if it wished to ..for sometime.But half the time It was very difficult for everyone to step outside.

From everyones mouth without having a cigar ,the chain of smoke came out.The apple and the oranges were covered with snow.They were ripe but people dint want to pluck it .The beauty was to see and watch in the tree itself , rather than pluck and eat.

In mid of nowhere there were these boys and gals who dug the ice and snow and made a small pool and enjoyed the chilled , freezing water with beer or brandy in hand, playing in groups with music and laughter.One little kido over there dressed in her full winter suit laying on the snow ,called her mom and said " Look Mommy! , Im the butter fly.I can fly in the snow ,she said and gave a big THOUSAND WATTS SMILE ". It was in the evening , the moon came out faster that thought time. It was already evening and dark as not as usual.snow flakes were falling from the sky.

--

She was sitting there,in a deserted place ..She was clad in a white dress similar to the snow. The back ground was dark. She was bare foot.She was standing there still.Her cheeks were Red like apple. Her nails and hands as pale and pure as white. Her lips slightly whitish and kinda dry turning to blue.Her hands were playing with the snow flakes falling from the sky.He went closer to her.She heard his coming and her mind awakened.It was cold and freezing.Her bare foot couldn't take and keep a step a head.She couldn't utter the question but gave a sarcastic question thru her eyes to him.

What is it?

I will say later, said the snow and the chill air.

She became a ice statue .frozen and standing still in the same place. He touched her .But the warmth and the heat from his hand ,it melted the snow and she dissolved as small honey dews, dew drops and disappeared.

He sat there on the Snow, kneeling and looking at the dark sky , snow falling from the sky with a big question mark on his face.

****

Spring :

Was there any spring in her and his life. The leaves in the trees started getting shrunk ..and was ready for going on a long sleep. The flowers were blooming in bunches. She was among the flowers in the trees. The bees and the birds were near the flowers for sucking the nectar .It was after the long slumber they had come out for fresh food. She was in all the colors.

He went and climbed on a tree of the pink flowers. By the time he went for plucking the flower , she vanished in the air as the fragrace which spread a vibrant smell all over.

The birds and bees sang for him a lullaby though ..

How is it ? they asked to him with a sarcastic smile on their small lips.

I will say later , said the lavender filled air.

He sat on the tree trunk looking at the birds and bees and the flowers and the sun which was not so sharp .He sighed and got down and took his way to return from the deep, deep,deep,deep SLUMBER .

****

It was the summer .It was the vicious circle of nature with the seasons. Summer , sharp and bright , the sun playing a major role for

" NO SECRETS,NO LIES, NO WORRIES AND A NEW BEGINNING ".

****

In the Hospital :

His legs were covered under white cloth and bandaged. He was on painkillers.He was on very deep sleep for a day or little bit more.

He was dreaming all the above in his dream .He opened his eyes slowly with loud scream from his dry throat, where only the sound was audible to him and not to anyother. He yelled " Please, don't leave me Kushi".

He went into sleep with a blink of an eye, for a nano second and again drifted into sleep.

She was sitting next to him. Near the bed. Her head rested on the bed.She was in tears and expression less . The face was puffed and her eyes were swollen during to crying for so much time.

She took some time off, now and then , out and in to the hospital for medicines and keeping herself fresh.Now it was quiet some days. He was awake from his deep sleep and the medicines were working wonders. He was recovering very fast. She was there with him all the time.Except for few hours. He now was given support system for helping in walking for a day, as he lay on the bed for some many days, that his legs had become numb.

The doctors came now and then and did their job perfectly.He knew her arrival, based on her scent which spread around him all the time. She was near,but yet far. He wanted to say so many things to her.But she either avoided or made the nurse be around ,so he dint get a chance to express verbally what he felt.

They were very close. But the words or wordflow the meaning or the ultimate thing for communication the TALK dint happen.

Why ??

And what was the questions in the seasons of Melancholy ??

The answer for the question is

" CATCH ME IF YOU CAN" ..

******

Chapter 14 : Silence ...

Chapter 14 : Silence - Khaamosiyaan...

Silent Love Shy Love --by Luke W.

The word Love,

Love is something we all can enjoy,

It is something we all can share,

Only with that special someone,

Who we all care about.

But why are we scared of it?

I don't know why,

But if I wasn't,I

would tell you every time,

Rain or shine,

Every time we're apart I nearly cry,

Because this love inside of me is strong,

There are no boundaries that it can hide,

I want to scream it out,

But I'm too shy,

So I wait and watch wishing,

That I had the courage to tell you,

How much I feel inside.

" " MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER DIE. ""

This is to that special someone.

"" I Love You. ""

**************************************************************

Silence :

The theme for this chapter Silence. Why did I choose?. Don't know yet. But felt silence was the answer for this particular chapter.

Silence of mind and heart and soul. Silence of People . Silence of everything around .. Silence of all the people she loved. Silence in her mumbling and jumbling and confused mind. Silence of the nature.. or silence in the nature...Silence ..silent .. calm .. peace.. serenity.. Solitude.

Solitude meaning Loneliness.. seclusion from the habitat.. alone ness.. aloof ness .. etc..So many things can be connected and related with her and him with this one single word.. Is it required u may ask.. it was and is required ..

*****

He was in asleep on that particular day in the hospital . He was done with his physiotherapy that day and was fed well too. His eyes took over on a deep slumber. .

Kushi was sitting in one corner and writing something in her journal. Every 5 mins her eyes rested on his face .. for easing his pain ..She dint talk to him still now.. it was close to 2 to 3 weeks or close to a month.

She maintained silence. She dint utter a word to him.He tried talking to her. But knowing that she was not OK in talking or communicating he also kept silence. The communication was thru the nurse .The nurses and doctor had fun..They understood very well ,as these loved each other very much but was angry for some reason.. which was earth shattering. The senior doctor who had seen life and based on his experience self thought that TIME WAS THE ONLY MEDICINE FOR THEM TO REPAIR THEIR BROKEN LIFE.

He was recovering faster.. She was happy on his recovery. She was waiting for the day he could walk alone without anybodys support. The day came. He stood alone and started walking. She wanted him to be the strong and fit person, not the broken , limping male or human. She had many things going on in her mind ..so many unanswered , unanswereable questions between her heart and the mind ... She dint know to self talk,she dint share her problems with anybody ..she either ignored or took too personally and tried to sort out the issues.she dint want go to a Shrink. She wanted to find answers on her own ..

*****

Arnav woke up from his sleep that day and as usual rested his eyes in one particular corner. Where she usually sits. He found strange today. Her scent was missing. Her chair was empty.The sound from the pages while flipping her journal was missing. The presence of her was missing. The chair were she usually sit was empty .. The pens , the scattered messy papers, the stationery and her bags etc.. were missing..

He stood up and came to the corner. The table was empty .. except in corner there lay a tiny piece of paper under a paper weight below the night lamp shaking its light weight for the Acs air which was spreading ..

He lifted the paper and read ..

" FATE OR DESTINY "

Below in one corner she had by usual practice put a happy face. Two dots and a number one followed by crescent moon with a full O .. it was laughing..

Arnav was puzzled..but understood her dilemma and now he dint rush into any thing. He dint show any strange expressions on his face. He stood still like a statue. He stood still like a wave which stopped in mid of the wild ocean. The WORLD STOOD STILL FOR HIM NOW.. only thing was she too was in the same condition.. She wanted her World to stand still for sometime.. only silence and loneliness ..secluding from everything ..she thought would give an answer to her problems.

She took off from there ..leaving him alone. Arnav was not alone any more. He had the paper in hand which decided her and his fate where they may or may not be destined to be together.

Fate we decide.. Destiny we choose.. All we choose then why she wrote this .Did she want to choose and give a chance for the choice she chose to name it on fate or destiny or something else.

******

Arnav came to the bed and sat idle without any feelings. His body was numb.Face was with no emotion and expression. His eyes were welling up.She was near him..very close to him..but yet very far.. all this time. They were close but dint talk .. why ??

He had to cry out loud. He had to shed his feelings now.All this time he would be strong.Now he couldn't .He wanted to cry his heart out ..He sat on the bed and cried with a heavy heart and a loud cry which came direct from his heart .. shouting " Kushi...". He sat numb.. He was dead now.. completely dead. The nurse came listening to the noise. He saw his condition and went near him for support. He just yelled at her...why dint u kill me.. Why don't u kill me with some poison..he vented out all his raw left over emotions in his heart..which was the little bit of hope and faith he had on their love ..or on his love.

*****

The next day he was discharged. While vacating the room the nurse handed over a Dairy to him . She said it was below the pillow of his bed.

He opened the pages of it, while he was in the taxi ..which was taking him to the airport.

It had many noted points on her daily routine and the expenses and what she was planning to do for the kids. The activity plans etc.

One particular date he just stopped flipping over the pages. It was Nov 19^th.That was the day after the incident of their past separation happened.

She had written on behalf of the unborn and dead in the womb itself..On behalf of their child..

*************

Dear Mommy,

I don't know what to say mummy.. You are one confused and mysterious women I have come across. Why are you so restless. Why were you starring at the fuschia hibiscus plant from morning.

The plant with the flowers were dancing for the wind .. I know u saw from our bedroom window .. the plant was dancing its long body for the wind hoola hoop.the butterflies came near the flower for the nectar. I saw one cater pillar too between the bushes. You know what ...there was this cow ..which from near by place which came for eating grass near the empty land. It chewed of half of the plant mummy. But what ever .. Nani ..went out and chased away the cow. U know what I saw one more thing. I saw a white crane sitting on the cow. Cow and crane were best friends.

Yes mom, everybody need a friend.Even you also need to have one. One for life time . One who will never leave you down .One who will be always with you ..One who can understand better than you. One who can take care of you in bitter or sweet phase of life. One who will be there in good or worse condition.Oh mom.. I don't know when that day would arrive.I don't know when that day would arrive..but im waiting for the day mummy..

But why did you write about the pink hibiscus.. why were you so fond of it. You had planted that one after your wedding right ..what so special in that particular plant. It gave pink flowers.. not one ..not two.. but always in fifties or hundreds..so much it bloomed.. as it was now 3 yrs of planting..

Why did you take special attention on it mummy. I still don't know.. but my guess.. was I a daughter.. or you wanted a daughter always instead of a son. Why this five petalled flowers. Why mum??

Again my wild guess .. Was the plant Daddy and the bloomed flower was you and me .. was it so.. The five petals relating to five elements of the nature..sky..water.. air.. earth and fire..was it so.. if even one element was absent the plant would not survive. Was Daddy your natural element mommy.. Im guessing he was the stem .. and leaves.. finally the five petals skeleton was you who spread its wings and held the baby me..the polons.. that too in yellow color ..from the centre.. You know what ..if pollination dint occur then the entire habitat would be at a loss of many natural things..

I know the flower bloomed and died. The flower was not permanent for ever. It died that day evening itself. But still u dint touch the flower in the plant or in the ground. You stood and observed the decaying process too..that day in the burning heat .. the flower petal turned grey .. it couldn't hold the heat .. the petals started bending its shape and became grey..

Ok..now I understand .. the flower and the plant represented Daddy ..completely..in this no way we were there.. it was more Daddy only..Starting from the plant ..the stem.. the leaves and the flower.. till it was dead. Pink to black.. it was Daddy..Thats why he was called Mr.Grey is it.. Naughty you mummy..but very sweet..

Mum.. pl forgive him .." Why are you still carrying this burden in ur heart? "Pl let go of the past and give in a chance for a new future .Please mommy..Please.

Love you Mummy..

Tiny tot..

****

My little Bear,

You know Mummy cant have any grudge against anybody and against Daddy too , I don't want to have any burden in my heart. I forgave him the moment he realised that he was used and how much he torutured me and came at our house door for forgiveness. Then why haven't I told him yet.. Reasons there are so many. I wanted to hate him , so he will go away from our life. But more I pushed him off, he came closer and closer. He did the unthinkable to bring me back in his life. I had to play wisely now .I don't want to be a killer , killing him Chunnu.. You know , how much ever I hate him , I love him more than that .I forgave him completely baby. But accepting him back in our life .. I don't know.. Am I confused ? Not sure dear.. But I want to clear my head and be crisp and concrete in my life from now. I want to be the lead and the decision maker of my life. I trust him a lot. He wouldn't let a single fly come near me to harm , but then too, now I have decided that I will lead my life as per my rules.. A second chance for him and me and us.. ( baby and her).

Baby .. now time for resting..

She closed her journal and forgot to take that day when she fleed from the hospital. It was under his pillow .

****

Time has passed.. He moved from there and returned to Pune.She took off. She was not with the current organisation. She joined somewhere else.

She was in the train sitting near the window seat .. It was a journey of four to five days. She knew she wanted to be away from ... what ? ...everything.. from him.. from her unclear twisted mind..

Why unclear ?. All may say that she loved and loves him ..then why again this Dhooriyaan..this separation.. Answer.. all happens for a reason .. The reason will explain below ..

****

The mind of her was preparing for the new her ..The train was moving in a reasonable speed. The fresh air hit her face.. memories of the past were now slowly fading away.. her mind was becoming stronger..

She felt she wanted to dive into the deep ocean and could hear only the breathing sound of hers..The bubbles which were left out while breathing could be heard to her heart. The fishes touching her and going in groups .. She wanted to feel that .She wanted to see the crystal clear vision .. her spirit which she had lost under the blue deep ocean waters as a dilusion's figure.. She wanted to see the imagination of hers ..what was left in for her future.

She wanted to be lost in the forest. She wanted to find the way on her own to reach her nest on the top of the tree where she could see in the far ..far distance only the mild mist and the early sunrise or the evening horizon..to listen to the music of the cuckoo birds and chirping sound of the sweet sparrows or oohh .. aahh sounds of the wildy baboons or the normal monkeys. The oor sound of the crocodiles in the lake placid .. the dew drops from the luscious green trees leaves. She wanted to jump high from the mountain top and feel the thrill which created in her gut along with the nature. She wanted to cross all the boundaries. She wanted to be very strong.

She wanted to be as the bee which created buzz sound and sucked the nectar from the flowers and be a butter fly or be born as a mushroom. She wanted to fly high in the sky .. be formed as a piece of cotton candy cloud and be the felt wind rather seen one.. She wanted to be the fire and the flame ..

*****

Her POV :

She reached finally the North east. She stayed in Guwahati..Assam . She took up a job in an NGO as a teacher for teaching the Tribes. The locations where people dint have money to travel to the citys and study. The NGO run campaigns and conducted classes all thru the internal village for the needy people.

She was teaching there .. The nature..the innocence of the kids and the true hearted people , she started loving and was coming back to normal. She knew what she wanted to now .. how and why this separation..

She dint want to be a " FOOL ..who would rush in the decision".They say Love is blind. She dint want to be an example. Love is blind.. how much blindness we will see down..

At the end of the dark tunnel , there is always a sunlight and our Kushi to was waiting for the sunlight. But now or when . She said Good bye to him by accepting his apology but not him. They say Good bye and See u .. or See u later or see u tomorrow.. or DO OR DIE.. or NOW OR NEVER.. life and death..As I say all things are combinations of two.. these are regular uttering words..

She didn't want NOW OR NEVER.. She made her mind that she wanted NOT NOW.. BUT NOT NEVER BUT NEVER FOR EVER.. IT WAS JUST THAT " NOT NOW ".Then when .. " Time is the best medicine for all the wounds to heal". Here to time played a major role.

Why did she leave him in the first place.. She was selfish for her ..and also for him. Her name was Kushi ..belief or faith. Because of him, he killing himself , she dint want that to happen. She wanted him to be the strong man she knew. She wanted him to be strongest man who in heart,body ,mind and soul would not do any stupid thing like walking in fire or jumping from the mountain .She dint want to carry the burden of his wrong doings on her .The people who depended on her , depended on the faith she had in things. She wanted him to be as himself.. self realised as who and what he was. What was his purpose in this God given beautiful life.

****

His POV:

I know Kushi .. why you left me ?. Im not crying. Im not in tears. Im not gonna be a fool . I know there is a thin line which seperates the feelings from our body .. the realisation. The thin line between heart and soul, between life and death and the life and survival. The thin line being the pendulum osciallting this side and that side of the clock .. saying the TIME IS THE ONLY HEALER FOR ALL THE PROBLEMS. I know the answer may be anything from ur end. But as always I will wait for you till my death. I will be strong like the China wall mentally.

I will wait for you till my death .

****

In the past some years many things changed..

Geetha was married to Aman. They fell in love and got married. Cupid was Arnav. Geetha who was completely devastated due the past things happened in her life, came out slowly like a bird from the nest out form the egg then only hatched learning to fly spreading its tiny wings and small legs and opening its mouth for food from its mummy..

She came out with flying colors . Aman and Geetha live happily now.

****

Ayesha was now 9 years old. She was good in singing and acting..She was attending extra classes for music and dance and paintings.

Shyam and Anjali they had one more baby. Little Manav..who is 1 year old .

***

After 4 years...

Yes ,Now it is four long years.. things have changed. He dint go behind searching for her. They say if we are destined our fate in this human life brings us together. Was it true ?

Yes it is.. don't ask me how..it is real .If we are destined our fate will bring us together.

Life is like a circle . It starts and ends in a single point. The point being the minute circle of life. The circle when we try to draw , it has to be drawn in a single take. It cannot be given breaks in each and every angle like a square or rectangle.

Why circle. Was our earth sphere in shape and if we look in a single angle we tend to draw a circle .. or was it something else.

The circle if we divide we get four quarters .. the earth having four directions namely north,south , east and west.. even our life they say seven stages.. I would if there was a chance I would limit it to four..Birth , growth, achievement and death. Our business cycles too have a cycle of this kind.. Start .. grow... flourish and die.. the boom and depression period make a person realise how and what he achieved and where he stands in life. Or they say VICIOUS CIRCLE OF POVERTY .. I want to say VICIOUS CIRCLE OF LIFE.. yes.. life with love and care and affection with some body known or unknown to lead and make it more happier and merrier.

Always things work with a combination of two.. two eyes..two hands. Two legs. Then why one mouth... dono why.. need to Ask Brahma..

Finally they meet in Assam..in a tribal educational fair .. after four long years.. Life brings them together once again.

****************