Arshi FF ~Falling Out Of Love~ *Chapter 18* Pg 126 **UPDATED** 31/5 - Page 46

It was like a lightning flashed through her mind. After that came the senses of her whole body. Starting from little twitches in her fingertips, toes, little electrode feet ran up from her arms and legs, covering her whole body. Finally her whole body was in her control, the electric current vanished. The whole experience was very much like one feel when the blood flow in their feet is blocked after keeping it in one position for a long time, but with her it was for her whole body.

She lifted her eyelids with difficulty, the heaviness in her head not making it easy for her. Her eyes opened to the best sight that could be for her in this time. Arnav was next to her, with his head next to her on the pillow. She looked down at their hand intertwined.

She remembers how afraid she was yesterday and refused to part with him even for a second. For her he stayed by her side the whole night. Looking at him now, she wonders if God is playing a cruel game with her. When she had come into terms with how she would be living her life, the promise she made to herself of not doing anything with word love, God sent Arnav to her with all the love she once wanted, the kind of love she was in once.

Why does it always happens? When you want something badly you will never get it but as soon as your heart accept its defeat and losses all the hope and expectation for getting that thing, you unexpectedly get it without any hard work.

It was not a 'thing' she had wanted. It was love which had all of her heart torn apart. Arnav loves but her broken heart couldn't be mended to accept it.

Why are you doing this Arnav? You are making my heart hurt. You won't get anything from me, by loving me. I told you not fall in love with me. But you fell for me and now I don't even know what I am going to do about it.

*****

"Dammit, Payal we are so screwed. I told you not to lie to her. I was lucky that Khushi was sleeping when I came to the hospital. She doesn't know that I am her Arnav cousin. Not yet at least." Nk rambled, pacing in the room looking at Payal sitting silently with her head dropped in her hands.

"Do you think she would have married Arnav if she has even a slight inclination that he's related to you, forget about he being your brother? Payal screamed in frustration. She was already restless and fidgety since NK told her about Khushi and now they have one more problem over their heads. Khushi was not supposed to know about them being relatives, not till it was all over.

" You can do one thing, nk. Don't go to their house to live." Nk could see Payal wasn't thinking with her mind. She was grasping at the last straws.

"You are forgetting that for them I am Sydney returned and have come to live with them. Moreover, I can't leave them alone at this time when their daughter in law is hospitalised. It's inevitable Payal, she will come to know about me. We can only hope that she forgive us. " Nk sighed sadly looking at her fallen face.

****

Khushi looked on as Arnav stirred slightly and began to rouse. His eyes opened and looked straight to her. Lazily he brought his palm closer to her face and cradled her face. "You are feeling OK?" He asked in his husky sleep laced voice.

"I am feeling better today. I am sorry because of me you had to stay here all night and leave all of your work at the office."

He shook his head. He swiped his thumb over her cheek, relishing in its softness. "Even if you hadn't asked for it I would've stayed here. I can't stay away from you Khushi. Get this in your stubborn head. I love you. I am not going anywhere leaving you. I don't have that kind of power in me. You have my heart and you know it's a general knowledge that a living being will be dead without its heart." He let out a slight chuckle at that.

Holding his palm on her face, Khushi looked into his eyes, apologising for the love she cannot give him. "You have to understand Arnav, I can't love you. I don't have in me to love. Listen to me carefully. I don't know if I could say it any time near, I am scared and vulnerable right now. I can say things from heart that I could not, would not say in future."

Arnav held his breath for what she's going to say. He had never seen so open. Her eyes are windows to her soul. He could easily read her through her eyes. She's more beautiful when she's not hiding behind the mask that she always wear. He found himself falling in love with more and again and again.

"I was in love many years before. I loved with all my being. Something happened and I was shattered. My judgment of him was wrong. He was not what I thought of him to be. The guy I loved was not real. He was altogether another person. It took me many years to see him and not feel any love towards him. I used to see him, deliberately and tell my heart to see what he really was." Khushi tightened her hand on his. It was difficult to say all this to Arnav. It brought all those memories which she has long ago buried in the deepest and darkest corner if her mind.

Flashback.

Khushi sat on the bench reading the subject she hates the most. No matter how many times she revise it she can't retain it. She hates when she couldn't grasp its logic. It slips through her mind or get tangled in other concepts and bam! She's back to square one. She has to start all over again.

Khushi squinted hard as she read the steps then looked to the diagram. What do you have against me? You are the only subject which I am scared of. Couldn't you be a little easier to understand?

But Khushi got startled when her best friend Payal joined her on the bench. "Khushi I have to tell you something. You won't believe it!"

Khushi gave her a side glance, and returned to her studies. "I am sure it will about one of the boys that have asked you out and I am so not interested to listen about their pathetic, lame, cheap and SRK copied dialogues. I have more important thing to do, like studying this pathetic subject which I am never gonna get. Unlike you who topped this bane of my existence, I have to study hard to even score average marks. So can you please take this girly girly talks to another girl?

Payal huffed and scooted closer to her. Even before Khushi had an inclination, Payal swiped the book out her hands and stared at Khushi hard. It was their sign not to piss other off and listen to the thing one has to share or it will not be good to other's health.

Khushi gave her one of her own look and said, " Fine, you have five minutes not more than that."

Payal grinned at her and start taking rapidly. "You know Nk? The guy from management side?"

Khushi shook her head.

"Never mind. I'll introduce you to him." Payal continued ignoring khushi's frantic shake of head. "He is very good looking and he also players basketball for our college. He met me in cafe and asked me out. He wants me to be his girlfriend. He told me that he had huge crush on me since first day of our college but he didn't have guts to ask me out. Now after one year he is asked me. I said yes Khushi. "

Khushi shook her head. It seems today all she will do is shake head at people. "Payal I am happy for you. But you know my opinions about boys. They just have fun with the girls without thinking about how emotionally attached girls becomes to them. For boys it is all about their reputation in the college and how many girls they have as their girlfriend. They never get emotionally attached to girls. For them they are just the means of physical pleasure. I can't tell you what to do with your life but as a friend I am taking the liberty to discuss what I think about all this. I just want you be happy. I don't want see you heartbroken for a guy. I hope Nk proves me wrong."

"I hope too khushi. I also hope for you to fall in love and see that world is not black and white, it is also grey." Payal laughed seeing Khushi faking vomiting."Enough now, I want to study." Khushi pursed her lips when Payal didn't budge. "Alone." Giggling payal left from there.

Khushi studied for a few more hours, and then taking her books she got on the familiar path of the college that led to exit gate of the college. She was thinking about to give a call to her parents after getting to the room she shares with Payal, when a boy zipped past her like a storm. She twisted her head behind to look why the boy was running so fast, when a body crashed into hers and she fell on her bottoms with her books fallen around her on the ground.

Khushi looked ahead to see a boy in the same position as hers. He looked back at her then behind her, she saw conflict in his eyes and next she knew what that was about.

He grabbed her books hurriedly, after dumping them in her hands, he held his one ear, said sorry and left hurriedly.

Khushi stood feeling dazed and not knowing what had happened just now and why she was unable to remove the image of the boy as he said sorry, or the apologetic smile on his face. With her beating fast and the face of the 'apology boy' in her mind Khushi reached her pg.

Payal noticed her friend to be a little dazed but thought of it as a result of studying so long. She didn't know that what she hoped for friend has happened just now.

"It took me two years Arnav, two years before I could see him and not feel anything. To look at him as I would look to any stranger. It took a long time but I was able fall out of love." Khushi clenched jaw tight to not feel anything and narrate it like a story. But it was proving to be very difficult. "Now you know why I said I am incapable of loving. You have to understand, you will just hurt yourself by being in love with me. Live your life as you have wanted."

"Khushi, it was not in my hand to stop myself for falling for you. I could not stop my heart to beat fast in your presence or at one look of yours. I fell in love with you and I don't want to fall out of it." Arnav pressed her hand above his heart, and saw Khushi's gaze fixed on it. He knew his heart was beating tattoo now too. "I am asking you to give me one chance. I promise to not to hurt you. I can't hurt you baby because in turn I would be hurting myself thousands times more. You got hurt the first time you loved someone, I am asking you to let someone, let me, love you. I am not asking you love me, I just want to love you. "

Arnav stared into her eyes, pleading to give him a chance, a chance to make her happy with his love. A millions of emotions passes through her eyes and then she gazed at him searching for something and prayed to god to let her find what she's searching for.

Khushi sighed and said the word for which he could kiss her senseless. "O...okay."

Arnav's happiness knew no bounds. "Thank you so much sweetheart. I promise to you I will not hurt you. I will love you with all of my heart." He grazed his lips to her cheek. "I want to take you out of this country. After what happened yesterday I don't think it is safe for you before the people who have done this are not arrested. So, will you come with me? "

Khushi thought about all the things that she has to do here. But in a long time she longs to just let someone take care of her and not think about the wrong that could happen in her life. "Yes, I will come with you."

"Thank you, Khushi." Khushi was happy to see him so much ecstatic. She felt his heart pick up its speed more and more and looked up at him to see his gaze on her lips. His face was so close to hers. Slowly, he brought his other hand to her face. He looked into her eyes for the permission, and Khushi let herself go for the second time of the day.

Gripping his collar, Khushi pulled him closer to close the remaining distance. Arnav kissed her gently, slanting his lips over hers.

Khushi buried her fingers in his hairs, spiking his desire all the more. Feeling his tongue swiping over her lower lip, she opened her mouth for him. As his tongue entered her mouth, her head burst with the taste of him. He explored her mouth gently. Not even a single corner was left. Then his tongue probed hers, sliding over, twisting around, engaging hers in a sensual dance that left her gasping for air.

With one last swipe inside her mouth, Arnav ended the kiss. His breath fell over swollen lips, he was panting like her. He pecked her once more, caressing her hairs he spoke her name, it was laced with love, and desire for her.

Khushi opened her eyes and also witnessed the same in his eyes. They were dark with want for her, they were shining with the love for her.

And Khushi prayed in her heart for the decision she took to not to go wrong. For his sake.