FF: Unloved (Complete) - Page 47

Without moving to look at him, she spoke, "Rudra."

"Hmm?" he said.

"Will you marry me?"

Rudra pulled away from Parvati. She felt this movement, and felt the comforting warmth leave her side. When she looked at him, she found him staring at her, disbelief and astonishment written on his face. Her question was definitely not something he had expected. Truth be told, she didn't expect herself to say it either. But when the words left her mouth, nothing else seemed to make more sense than those words. Her heart had taken over, ruling out all doubts in her mind that clouded her decision. Parvati now sat staring at Rudra, waiting for a response.

Rudra's mind had suddenly gone into overdrive. His eyes widened in shock as he stared at Parvati, not believing what she had just asked him. At first, he thought he had misheard her, but now, by the serious expression on her face, he knew that he hadn't. What had suddenly gotten into her that would make her want to marry him? Hadn't she denied to do so so many times before? What had changed? Then, it hit him. Mami-sa's oath. His expression changed from shock to stern. This wasn't the way he wanted to marry Paro, and she had to know that. But first, he had to make sure she was serious about what she was asking, because this was not at all a joke to him.

"What did you just say?" he asked.

"Will you marry me?" she repeated slowly. "If you still want to that is."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought you didn't want to marry me. You had said so multiple times. You yelled at me at mami-sa's house about it."

"I know."

"Then?"

She was silent.

"Why, Paro?"

"Do you not want to?"

"Of course I still want to. I was serious when I asked you. It's just-."

"Just what?"

He shook his head, "I'm not marrying you against your will."

"What do you mean?"

"I know about your oath to mami-sa. She told me in the hospital."

Parvati was surprised hearing this new piece of information, "You know?"

"Yes, and I don't care that you swore on her. I'm not going to force you to marry me. I'm not doing anything against your will. Not for any oath in the world."

Parvati didn't respond, but she continued to gaze at Rudra. He still was more concerned about her than anything else. This tugged at her heartstrings. His selflessness never ceased to amaze her. What Rudra failed to understand was that Paro wasn't asking him to marry her because of the oath with mami-sa. In fact, that was the last thing on her mind when she asked him, and she would have to explain this to him.

"I'm not asking because of my oath with mami-sa," she reasoned.

He listened intently without saying a word, waiting for her to continue.

"It's true though, that I don't love you. I don't think I'm capable of loving someone, mainly because I don't know what it is anymore. I've been undeserving of it. But what is true is the fact that I care about you. You became my friend, and in return, I brought you into my world, shared my life and secrets with you. I would have never done that if I didn't care about you. When you know everything, and are still willing to accept me as I am, then why shouldn't I marry you?"

Rudra listened to her reasoning, understanding each and every point she made. Her speech touched him. He had no idea how much he mattered to her. Maybe he meant more to her than even she realized. However, it still bothered him that she still believed she was undeserving of love, but right now was not the time to argue about that. More important matters were still at hand.

When he didn't respond, Parvati felt dejected. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she spoke once more, "I know it would be difficult, maybe even impossible for you to enter a loveless marriage. But if you did decide to marry me, then I will do my best to be a good wife. I'll care for you and support you through everything, but I just don't know if I will ever be able to love you."

Seeing her tears made him weak. Rudra moved closer to her and held her face in the palm of his hand, wiping away the single tear that escaped with his thumb. She covered his hand with hers.

Her large doe eyes locked with his, "If not for the care, then will you marry me because you are all I have left in this world?"

That last sentence did it. He was never the overly-emotional type of guy, but this time Rudra felt himself choking on the lump in his throat. How did this woman in front of him have the ability to affect him so deeply? Her words always managed to evoke such deep feelings out of him that he didn't even realize he was capable of having. Right now, he was going through a wide range of emotions. Happiness, because Paro had been so open and honest with him. Sadness, because she wanted to marry him because he was all she had left. Anger, because Varun had scarred Paro so deeply that she thinks herself so unworthy and unwanted.

He looked at Paro for a long time, not saying anything. The silence between them surrounded them like a blanket, comforting them. Rudra didn't remove his hand from her face, and she refused to move hers away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. What was only minutes of silence felt like hours as Parvati waited for him to say something, anything. She didn't know what his answer would be, and the anticipation was making her anxious. She was unsure of what the future held, but she hoped there would be one with him by her side. If she lost him now, Parvati didn't know what she would do. When he finally opened his eyes, she held her breath.

In a serious voice, he spoke, "Are you sure about this, Paro?"

"About?" she asked.

"This. Us. Marriage. Are you sure about this? Because once it's done, it can't be undone."

Without any pause or hesitation, Parvati nodded.

"Okay."

"Okay?" she dropped her hand that held his face.

He gave her a soft smile before using his free hand to move some strands of hair from her face, "Okay, I'll marry you."

~

After Parvati's proposal and Rudra's acceptance, the two came to a decision to marry after college graduation in the spring. That gave them more than enough time to tell Rudra's parents and plan the wedding. He had decided that he would be the one to tell his parents, and that there was no need for them to do it together.

Before he could tell his parents about his decision to marry Paro, he had to tell them about her past. The following day he sat Mala and Dilsher down in the main living area of the Ranawat home and told them everything about Parvati's past. They were startled upon hearing the heart-wrenching details that depicted the torture she had suffered. Mala, who was curious about what Parvati was keeping hidden, had never imagined that she had gone through such an ordeal. She was in tears by the end of Rudra's tale. Even Dilsher, who was not a man to show such emotions, struggled to hold back his enraged tears as he thought about how badly she must've suffered all those months. They didn't regard her as cursed or blame her for what happened in her life. It was after he had told them Paro's story that Rudra gave Mala and Dilsher the news about the marriage. Surprisingly, the two of them were elated about it. They didn't believe Parvati had to continue to suffer, and that Rudra was the one who could bring the happiness back in Paro's life. The fact that she was a widow didn't matter to them, much to Rudra's approval.

Mala had wanted to prepare a grand wedding. Rudra was her only child, after all. She didn't want anything left to chance. Everything had to be perfect, right down to the font on the wedding invitation cards. However, before she could get ahead of herself, Rudra stopped her. He didn't want a huge wedding. All that he desired was a small ceremony with his parents a few close members of his family. He didn't want anything spectacular since Paro didn't have any family, just the children from the orphanage. Hearing his reasoning, Mala agreed with him. A unanimous decision was made. Following a small mehendi and haldi ritual would be a small wedding. This would all take place right after Paro and Rudra's graduation the following spring.

~

Word had spread around campus during the following months about Rudra and Paro's relationship. Rumors had spread about a romance blossoming between the two, with the possibility of wedding bells in the future. Questions were asked, and slanderous comments were even made, but the two paid no attention and gave no answers. Rudra was the only one to say anything, and when he did, it was only to confirm that the two were planning to marry. Other than that, nothing was said. It seemed that everyone was interested in the fact that a lower-class girl had won the heart of the BSD General's son.

On Graduation Day, Mala and Dilsher were at the university watching as both Rudra and Parvati walked the stage to receive their diplomas. They cheered and whistled for the two as they had finally completed their studies, despite all the bumps in the roads.

That night after graduation, after he had dropped Parvati home, Rudra sat alone up on the terrace of his home. He was thinking about everything that had happened in the last few months, from mami-sa's death to the planning of the wedding. He still couldn't believe that the wedding rituals would be starting tomorrow. His mother was insistent on getting Parvati married to Rudra as soon as they had completed their studies, stating that she couldn't wait any longer for her daughter-in-law to be brought into the house. Rudra still remembered how he grinned like an idiot when he had heard Mala say that.

In the months after accepting her proposal, Rudra saw a change in Paro. She had become more attuned to him, and he to her. The care that she said she had for him was more openly displayed. She would once again spend time with him, and talk more. There were times when she even prepared food for him, which he would scarf down like a man starved. Sometimes he wouldn't have to say anything, and she would know exactly what he was thinking or what he wanted. She would smile more, and even laugh a little on rare occasions. However, she did neither wholeheartedly. It's true that she wasn't as happy as he wanted her to be, and her smile never really reached her eyes, but he knew that that would take time.

As the day of marriage was coming closer, Rudra couldn't help but feel anxious. He didn't know what the future held for them, but he knew he was ready for whatever was to come. Why? The answer was simple: Paro. As long as he had her by his side, he wasn't worried. Whether she eventually loved him or not didn't matter, his love was enough for both of them. He could spend the rest of his life waiting for her, but couldn't imagine a day without her now. He shook his head and let out a soft chuckle as he realized how lovestruck he sounded to himself. But he didn't care. Only one thought continuously came to mind: Damn, I love her.

He was so lost in thoughts of Paro that he failed to realize that he was no longer alone on the terrace. Dressed in her cream-colored, cotton sari, Mala had come up to check on her son. He had been on the terrace since after dinner, and she wondered what he had been doing. Now, seeing him standing against the railing, staring out at the city of Delhi ahead, Mala couldn't help but think about how much her son had grown. She remembered the days when he was learning how to walk, and she had chased him around on this very terrace. And now? Now he had graduated from college and was getting married soon.

She walked over to Rudra and leaned against the railing next to him. He glanced at her and smiled before they both turned their attention back to the cityscape.

"I just spoke to Parvati on the phone," Mala said as she turned to him. "Her mehendi was completed earlier this evening. She said the color is very dark, almost black."

"Really?" Rudra asked.

"Yes. Do you know what that means?"

"I have a feeling you are going to tell me."

"The darker the mehendi, the more your future husband loves you. Obviously you love her a lot if the color is almost black."

"Was there ever any doubt about my feelings for her?"

Mala shook her head and smiled. After a short pause, she spoke again, "It's getting late. Your's and Paro's haldi is tomorrow, so you should get some rest."

"I will be down in a minute."

"What are you doing up here, anyways?"

"Thinking."

"What are you thinking about?"

Rudra looked at his mother, a serene expression appeared on his face as he answered, "Just everything that is happening right now. The graduation, the wedding, Paro. All of it."

She looked at him curiously before she asked, "Do you still want to marry her?"

"Of course I do. What kind of a question is that?" He became concerned. "Did Paro say something? Does she not want to-."

Mala shook her head, "She hasn't said anything. I am just asking."

"Are you sure?" Rudra turned to directly face her.

"Yes."

"Then why would you ask me if I still want to marry her, maa-sa?"

"All your life you have been this carefree person, living your life on your own terms and to the fullest. Then one day, you come home so serious and ready to marry. Don't get me wrong, I love Parvati, and so does your bapu-sa. But we just want you to be sure about her...about this. This isn't a joke. Marriage is a very serious matter. Parvati has already been hurt once, and I'd hate to see her go through that pain again. And I'd be extremely disappointed if you were the one hurting her."

He stared as his mother for a long time, not saying anything. Rudra knew that Mala cared deeply for Parvati, and had her best interest at heart. She didn't want her to go through the same turmoil again. He understood that because he didn't want that either. Rudra wanted to shower Paro with endless happiness. He didn't want to give her a chance to cry or a reason to complain. It seemed that he not only had to convince Paro of this, but also his parents.

Rudra looked his mother right in the eyes and said, "I have never been more serious about anything else in my entire life, nor will I ever be. I love her, maa-sa."

The conviction with which he had so boldly declared his love was enough to assure Mala that he would do no wrong. He was very serious about Paro. No one could deny that. She smiled at him. My Rudra has grown up so much. When did her son become so mature? She felt proud of the values she had instilled in him because now he was a man who knew exactly what he wanted from life. And Mala was happily ready to support him in his endeavors.

"Well then, if you are really serious about this marriage then you need to come downstairs and get some rest," Mala laughed. "If you don't, then how will you attend your own haldi?"

"Maa-sa, I'll be fi-," he began.

"I don't want to hear anything." She grabbed his arm and pulled him with her. "You are coming with me and that is final."

"Wait. But-but- maa-sa!"

But Mala wouldn't listen. She continued to laugh as she dragged Rudra down from the terrace and made him go to bed. He complained and whined like a child all the way down, but eventually gave in to his mother's demands. She waited until he closed the door to his room before leaving. She needed him to be at his best for all the rituals and the wedding. They had to be completed without any hinderances or issues. After all, without Rudra, how would Mala bring her daughter-in-law home?

**********

This is where I leave you for now! Let me know what you think by leaving your comments and feedback below!

Next update: Parud shaadi: haldi, wedding, and...suhagraat?

Thanks for reading!