Secrets between husband and wife

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lucky

@JhoomBJhoom

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

Do you believe that there should be everything open between husband and wife for a successful marriage? Sometime too much openness creates problems also.

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@mermaid_QT

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

nope.. absolutely not. The security and comfort of relation is what you gain from trading CARELESS freedom of a single person.

Any IMP things that could influence FUTURE HAPPINESS of a family MUST be shared.

Small things could be hidden if they cause un-necessary negativity. Hiding should not involve deceiptfulness and hurtful behaviour, that can affect the spouse.

Edited by mermaid_QT - 18 years ago

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lucky

@JhoomBJhoom

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

I fully agree with Mermaid QT. Too much openness can be used by either one against each other in case of some sort of arguement. Sometime it is very difficult to decide which one is to keep quiet and which one is to be discussed. Just like telling your any affair (if any) prior to marriage. If you decide to keep something secret and the other half finds out from third party and it is a point of concern then there is definately a YUDH. I think this topic can go for a good comments

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raj5000

@raj5000

Sparkler

Posted: 18 years ago

We talked in bits and pieces about this before, unable to find the posts.Am sure my views are consistent lols.. yes I agree with QT... more.... from a lil different angle..

Every individual are entitled some kind of privacy or say personal space. When it comes to sharing each bit then there is nothing private anymore, basically loss of individuality. I agree relationships should have total transparency but there are things that do not impact the relationship negatively and can be kept private, in order to healthy relationship. For eg : something's when discussed with immediate spouses might be taken indifferently as compared to when discussed with friends for advise. Until there is no negative impact to one's relationship, something's can be private. Like I wouldn't want to share what I did with my buddy's at a game or old friends get together…waisa chupney ko kuch rahta bhi nahi hai..lolls other then overdoes of heinkin's lolsss

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@mermaid_QT

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

Originally posted by: JhoomBJhoom
I fully agree with Mermaid QT. Too much openness can be used by either one against each other in case of some sort of arguement. Sometime it is very difficult to decide which one is to keep quiet and which one is to be discussed. Just like telling your any affair (if any) prior to marriage. If you decide to keep something secret and the other half finds out from third party and it is a point of concern then there is definately a YUDH. I think this topic can go for a good comments

thnx JBJ 😊.. one thing i'd like to share in response to the "thirt party coment"- sharing past relationship i think is essential. i unfortunately had a client whose husband was beating her.. it turned out that he had found abt her past affair from third party and that made him more aggressive. it became harder to counsel him, becos of his accusations of her being hiding things from him all along.. beating is never justified, but even the man had a point unfortunately.. 😕..
one takes a risk by bearing it all, but one also gains trust that way! Fair deal! thnx again.

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@mermaid_QT

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

lol raj.. waise beer bottle ke bhi kaan hote hai 😉

loss of freedom has nothing to do with bearing secrets. real transperancy is HAVING FREEDOM in spite of not having to HIDE IT. 😊
if there is need of secret, then there is a real issue regarding encroachment of personal space by spouse the way i think!

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raj5000

@raj5000

Sparkler

Posted: 18 years ago

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT
lol raj.. waise beer bottle ke bhi kaan hote hai 😉

loss of freedom has nothing to do with bearing secrets. real transperancy is HAVING FREEDOM in spite of not having to HIDE IT. 😊
if there is need of secret, then there is a real issue regarding encroachment of personal space by spouse the way i think!

Lolss no wonder, phone per bhi pata lagg jaata hai 😆 .

Where did I mention "HIDE IT" on purpose? if the want of relationship is to share each and everything then that's not right, that all am saying here😊. Also, if there is need of secret then that comes under impacting the relationship negativity, guess I covered this point in my response😛. And the mention of heinkin was just to add some humor, please don't misunderstand.😳

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@mermaid_QT

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

Originally posted by: raj5000

Lolss no wonder, phone per bhi pata lagg jaata hai 😆 .

Where did I mention "HIDE IT" on purpose? if the want of relationship is to share each and everything then that's not right, that all am saying here😊. Also, if there is need of secret then that comes under impacting the relationship negativity, guess I covered this point in my response😛. And the mention of heinkin was just to add some humor, please don't misunderstand.😳

ok, apologies! only the first part was addressing u- the beer bottle with ears.. 😆😆 lol @ phone..

the latter was a new comment.. i goofed if it looked like responding to ur post😳.. sowwy . in fact, i agreed with ur post! and the quote above.

Edited by mermaid_QT - 18 years ago

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season915

@season915

Voyager

Posted: 18 years ago

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT
nope.. absolutely not. The security and comfort of relation is what you gain from trading CARELESS freedom of a single person.

Any IMP things that could influence FUTURE HAPPINESS of a family MUST be shared.

Small things could be hidden if they cause un-necessary negativity. Hiding should not involve deceiptfulness and hurtful behaviour, that can affect the spouse.

I don't have experience, but this sounds about right. Little little things cause needless trouble, and I remember my parents hiding such things from each other 😆😆
BTW QTdi, is topic se yaad aaya... aapni wo coffee ka subscription cancel karvaya ya nahi? 😳

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@mermaid_QT

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: rutumodi915

I don't have experience, but this sounds about right. Little little things cause needless trouble, and I remember my parents hiding such things from each other 😆😆
BTW QTdi, is topic se yaad aaya... aapni wo coffee ka subscription cancel karvaya ya nahi? 😳

caught with a pound of mint 😵 😲 🤡 coffee in my porch embarrassed me enough to proactively cancel it 😆😆.. aww, u remembered!