FF: Unloved (Complete) - Page 36

Dinner was never a silent affair in the Ranawat household. As Parvati sat down at the dining table with them, conversations and witty banter began flying around. She had never been accustomed to such a spectacle before, but then again, she had never had a family dinner like this before. Mala had set the aloo ki sabzi and roti down. Alongside this were an array of chutneys and chilies for extra flavor, ones that she specially made from scratch. As Parvati sat down beside Mala, she couldn't stop the drool that filled her mouth as her eyes feasted upon the delicious dishes before her.

This was the first time Parvati had experienced a family dinner. As she ate, she was engaged in a battle of the wits between Rudra and Dilsher, who were still arguing about the chess game. It didn't help much that Rudra was demanding a rematch, stating that this time Paro would not be allowed anywhere near his father. Dilsher, on the other hand, apologized to Paro on his son's behalf. He didn't realize how much of a sore loser his son was. This made Paro giggle and Rudra mumble under his breath as he went back to eating. Obviously, he was not going to get a rematch anytime soon.

Being the only woman in the home, Mala adored talking to Parvati. She was already making plans to go out with her, which Parvati was more than happy with. Rudra watched in amazement at how easily his mother made Paro feel at home, and how Paro made a place for Mala in her life. His mother had never said anything before, but he assumed that there had to be times when she would get lonely in this large home. His father was gone a lot, and he himself was always busy with school and friends. She probably wanted Paro as much as Paro wanted her. The two men no longer existed at the dining table. It was only when Dilsher announced that if he ate anymore his stomach would bust that Mala and Parvati took attention to the other members at the table.

After dinner, Rudra showed Parvati around the house. It was much larger than she had originally estimated. They walked down the halls together and he watched as she took in everything, awestruck. Her eyes lingered on the beautiful carvings and moldings, the vintage yet modern architectural features, and the shininess of the marble floors. She traced her fingers along the colorful stain-glass designs that laid embedded in the walls, entranced by the way the rays of the setting sun created a light of rainbows on the ceiling. Rudra took her outside and into the courtyard and backyard. He could tell she loved it all, but he had saved the best for last. He led her back into the house and up two flights of stairs, beyond the second floor.

Rudra pushed open a door at the top of the flight of stairs. As Parvati ascended, she realized that they were on the roof. She wondered what was up here. That was, until Rudra led her to the edge, showing her the beautiful view of the brightly lit city. Her eyes sparkled in delight as she gasped. It was as if the starry night sky above was reflected on the ground. She leaned on her elbows against the railings, lost in the sight ahead. Rudra came to her side, mimicking her posture. He looked at the city view, then back at Parvati. He was as captivated with her as she was with the scenery.

"This is beautiful," she said. "Simply breathtaking."

He continued to gaze at her, "Yeah it is."

"Your family is very sweet."

"They seem to have taken a strong liking to you."

"I like them too."

"No, I mean they really like you," Rudra chuckled. "I think if they had the chance they would trade me for you."

Parvati laughed, "I doubt that. They love you."

"I know, but I still think they would if they had the chance."

"They are wonderful though."

"They are," he paused. "So, since when do you play chess?"

"Since always. One time, when I was little, mami-sa took me out somewhere, I don't remember exactly. We were coming back to the orphanage when I saw two men sitting in the park playing chess. At that time, I didn't know what they were doing, but it looked really interesting. I asked mami-sa what they were doing and she explained it to me. I asked her if she knew how to play and she said she did. She taught me to play."

"So she taught you?"

Parvati nodded.

"I will definitely have to play against her."

"You should. She's really good."

"You know, that's one of the first times you've shared a memory with me," he shook his head and made her face him when he saw her stiffen. "I'm not asking you to share more. I'm just glad you are starting to find me worthy of sharing."

"You've always been so open with me. So why can't I share a story with you?"

Rudra smiled as he held her by her shoulders, "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked, puzzled.

"For coming today."

"You asked. How could I not come?"

Everything stilled around them. Their eyes locked. Parvati was now gazing into Rudra's molten brown eyes, which suddenly bore into her. There was a curious mixture of confusion, tenderness, and some other emotion that she couldn't quite put her finger on. However, she found that she couldn't look away. In fact, she was becoming lost in them. Rudra's condition was no different. The second his gaze interlocked with hers, he was lost. The pools of hazel stared back at him, questioningly. He had spent so much of his time looking at her, at the sadness in her eyes, but this was the first time he was actually looking at them. He found that they expressed everything she couldn't. When her voice failed, her eyes spoke, just as they were right now.

He felt her loosen in his grip, and he continued to hold her by her arms. Her hand held onto his jacket, fisting it in her palm. Rudra didn't know how or when, but he slowly started leaning in towards her. He looked from her, to her lips, then back at her, as if silently asking for permission. Parvati stood still, unsure of what was happening. She was too lost in him to realize what he was doing. Her eyes involuntarily closed. He took a small step forward and leaned in a little closer. Rudra was now inches away from her lips.

Rudra closed his eyes and softly whispered, "Paro...main..."

It was when she felt his breath against her lips that Parvati came to her senses. Her eyes snapped open as she realized what was happening. She gasped as she suddenly shoved Rudra away from her, causing him to stumble a few steps back. He opened his eyes and looked at Parvati, stunned. He couldn't believe what he was about to do. He was going to kiss her! How could he momentarily lose control like that? This wasn't how he wanted this to progress. He just got caught up in the moment. She was standing there, bearing her heart out to him, looking beautiful, and he just got swept up. As he looked back at Parvati, he saw tears form in her eyes. Disbelief and hurt was written all over her face, and it tore at Rudra's insides. He had to explain to her that he didn't mean to do that. He had to apologize because at this very moment, he felt the clouds of uneasiness beginning to roll in. Something in him was telling him that something was very wrong. Rudra extended his hand out to her, but Parvati stepped back.

His heart clenched, "Paro I-."

Before he could finish his sentence, Parvati turned and ran. She dashed down the stairs, not once looking back. Her tears blurred her vision and she was forced to continue wiping them away as they escaped her eyes. She couldn't believe that they were about to kiss. How could she let him get that close to her? This was wrong. It was all wrong. She had to get away. That was the only thought that was running through her mind as she made her way down the last flight of stairs. She quickly exited the Ranawat haveli, failing to hear the voices of Mala and Dilsher calling out to her.

The two of them were in the living room when they had seen Parvati running like a mad woman out the door, not once stopping to bid them farewell. They stood up from their seats, wondering where she was going so abruptly and if everything was alright. Mala and Dilsher looked at one another, worried. Suddenly they heard Rudra's voice as he was coming down the stairs.

"Paro!" he shouted. "Paro! Wait, listen for a minute! Paro!"

Dilsher came into front of Rudra, stopping him, "Rudra, what's going on? Why did Parvati leave so suddenly?"

"Bapu-sa I'll explain everything but right now I have to go after her," Rudra hastily explained as he looked back and forth between his father and the door from which Parvati had exited.

"Just stop for a second," Mala reasoned. "What happened? It looked like Parvati was crying and-."

"Maa-sa I'm not going to stop. I have to go after her."

This wasn't the time to explain anything to anyone except Paro. Right now, Rudra had to find her and explain his actions. If he didn't, he could lose her, and he was not ready for that. He moved away from his parents and darted out the door frantically, leaving Mala and Dilsher to wonder what had gone wrong between Rudra and Parvati.

~

Rudra ran down the empty streets. Night had fallen and the street lights had just turned on. He was at least three blocks from his home, and there was still no sign of Parvati. He was desperate. His eyes were desperately searching for the figure in yellow. He turned the corner onto a main road, which was surprisingly empty, and stopped running to catch his breath. The image of Parvati's tear-stricken face flashed in his mind, leaving him grasping for more air. Rudra needed to find her and apologize. If he lost her because of his stupid mistake, he would never be able to forgive himself. He just wished he was able to find her first.

He picked up the pace and began running down the road. The roads were dead, and it shouldn't have been this hard to find her. She couldn't have gotten that far. It wasn't long until Rudra heard a sound. He stopped and listened. It sounded like sniffles, like someone was crying. He scanned the surroundings and caught sight of Parvati. He breathed a sigh of relief. She was walking a few paces ahead of him, her back facing him. Her head was down, and from his position, it looked like she had wrapped her arms around herself in attempt to control her emotions.

Even though Rudra found her, she was still so far from him. He needed to get her to stop and listen. Every step she was taking away from him was slowing his racing heartbeat down, reducing it to a mere murmur. He trailed behind her while trying to catch his breath from all the running. Rudra knew that Parvati knew he was following her. She was so familiar with his presence that she didn't have to look back, even though her heart repeatedly told her to. Her mind was racing, and she just needed to get away from there. From him. This was all just too much.

When he finally pulled himself together, Rudra called out to her, "Paro!"

She didn't respond or stop.

"Paro, stop! Listen to what I have to say!"

She continued walking without even acknowledging him.

"Paro! Please! Just stop and listen once! Paro!"

Nothing.

"For my sake, Paro...stop!"

Parvati stopped, but didn't look back. It didn't take long for Rudra to finally catch up to her. When he did, he stopped a few feet behind her and stared at her back, waiting for her to turn around. And when she did, he felt the air get knocked out of him. Parvati's cheeks were covered in tear streaks. Her hazel eyes brimmed with tears that she was forcing herself to control, to hide her vulnerability. What gnawed at him, what was truly killing him inside, was the knowledge that he was the reason for those tears. She was trying hard not to break down, but as she stood in front of Rudra, Parvati found herself using all her willpower not to fall apart.

"Paro, I'm sorry," he said apologetically. "I really am."

Parvati remained silent. She looked down at the ground.

"I shouldn't have let that happen," Rudra extended his hand. "I didn't mean to-."

She looked up at him and took a step back, "Stop."

He stopped talking. His hand froze momentarily in mid-air before it dropped back to his side.

"Just stay away from me, Rudra."

"But Paro, I'm sorry. I-."

"No, just stop. This...this is a mistake. This is wrong. This is all wrong."

"What is?"

Parvati pointed at him then at herself, "This. Us. Whatever this is between us. It's a mistake. It's wrong."

He looked at her in disbelief, "You think this is wrong? It's not."

She shook her head, "How could I let you get so close? This is a mistake. I can't do this."

"What? You're blowing this out of proportion. What's wrong with letting me get close to you? It isn't wrong."

"No, you don't understand."

"Then help me understand!"

"No. You have to stay away. I don't want to see you ever again."

Rudra felt like his heart was about to stop. He shouted angrily, "No!"

But Parvati didn't listen. She continued to shake her head as she began backing away slowly, "Just stay away from me. Please, just leave me alone."

Rudra reached out to her in an attempt to stop her, but she pulled back and kept stepping away. He tried moving, but it was as if his feet were glued to the ground. The air was being vacuumed out of his lungs, and Rudra found himself grasping for air. He was losing Parvati right before his very eyes. As the distance between them grew, Rudra's mind began synchronizing with his heart. He was putting the pieces of the puzzle together. The clouds of confusion disappeared, and the light of realization dawned upon him. In that moment, everything made sense. He was a fool to have not figured it out earlier.

"Paro, no!" he shouted.

Parvati turned around, "Goodbye, Rudra."

"No! Stop!"

She began walking away.

"Paro, stop!"

She didn't listen.

"I love you, Paro!"

Parvati froze. Her heart pounded like a drum against her ribcage, vibrating in her ears. Did he just say what she thinks he said? Maybe she had misheard him. He couldn't have said what she thought he said. She slowly turned around and met his gaze, hoping that she was just hearing things. But the look in Rudra's eyes told her that she hadn't misheard. The pain and honesty emanating from the dark chocolate orbs had a magnetic pull, one that brought her back right in front him.

"What..." she began. "What did you just say?"

"I love you, Paro," he confessed.

Her eyes widened in shock before she shook her head feverishly, "No. No, you can't."

"I can't what?" he asked calmly.

"You can't love me!"

"Why not?"

"Y-you just can't!"

"It's too late. I love you. It's done. It can't be undone."

"Yes it can."

"It can't. Even if it could be undone, I won't stop loving you."

"You have to!"

"I won't!" he yelled.

Tears formed in her eyes once again. Rudra looked away and clenched his fists at his side as he tried to control his anger. He had finally realized his love for Paro, and even confessed. Why was she making this difficult? This didn't have to be this hard, but she was making it this way. Why? He looked back up at her, and was horrified by what he saw. She was staring at him with her hands folded, pleading to him.

"I don't want to hurt you, Rudra," she cried as she begged. "I don't love you, and I never will be able to."

Rudra looked at her, completely speechless.

"Please...please just stay away from me. I'm begging you."

Parvati covered her mouth to muffle her sobs. Before Rudra could say anything, she turned on heels and ran away. This time, he didn't go after her. Her words rang in his ears. This is wrong. This is a mistake. You can't love me. You have to stay away. Please just stay away from me. He stayed rooted in his spot on the road, watching her figure slowly disappear. With each step, his heart cracked until it became a pile of shattered glass in his chest. When she was gone from sight, Rudra sank down to his knees, completely devastated. Within the blink of an eye, he had loved Paro and lost her. And just like that, Rudra's world, which had just begun to fall into place, came crashing down.

**********

*Blows nose in tissues and wails* Why did I have to be so cruel?! Why? Why? Why? Because I had to. This is where I leave you for today. Let me know what you think by leaving your comments and feedback below.

Next update: Coping with the separation.

Thanks for reading!