Butterfly kisses - A story

Butterfly Kisses

Death.

It was to happen, everybody knew, but one would always be so caught up with the happenings of everyday life that one never stopped and thought about it.

It was a distinct possibility to people. It happens to people around you, but not to you perhaps.

She had been like that too. She had given so much importance to the worldly ways, to reflect on things beyond her control.

As a child she had been a possessive and obstinate kid. There was her plate, her toys that she didn't let anybody to touch. Only child and a pampered one as she was, she wasn't the one to share or to care to let any other child touch anything that was hers, as a result of which she was termed a snob and was avoided by other children, letting her to have not many friends as she grew up.

It had become difficult as she grew up. Being alone wasn't that fun, she had learnt. She knew she was missing out on things when she was not picked up neither of the team captains, while children were playing sports; while whispering girls stopped looking at her, while she sat alone while lunch breaks while other children sat in groups, sharing food and laughing.

As days passed, the need of a friend pulled her happiness out as she stayed at her huge mansion quietly, staring at the sunset in the evenings not knowing what else to do.

It was then had she met him. Marius was his name.

It was her gift on her by her father on her eighth birthday. He bought her a golden retriever that she had fallen in love with the moment she laid her eyes on him.

Ever since, she had learnt to love. She had looked forward to go home to play with Marius now, and not scared as she was earlier. She ran with him through the expanse of their lawns, playing and growing up with him. She specifically loved taking him out of her estate towards the distant fields where both of them wandered off in the lap of Mother Nature.

Mother Nature had taken her child in her lap, as the growing girl fell more and more in love with everything that nature was, taking an acute interest in horticulture, spending her time as much in her garden with the plants, while the rest was spent with Marius.

Life was back on track for her again. Horticulture thought her patience and her nature turned calmer, as she turned focused. Marius helped her keep fit with the enormous running around, as well as with her ability to love and laugh with him. Whenever she felt lonely, she sometimes held Marius and cried, and he, like a loyal friend let her snuggle, and sometimes licked at her tears.

It was a week before her sixteenth birthday, when she was suddenly thrown off balance again, with the sudden death of Marius.

She didn't celebrate her birthday that year, spent her evening sitting quietly at the tombstone of Marius.

Eight years of companion and only friend, when taken away from her, she knew it was difficult for her to warm up to anything else.

Ages flew by and it had become a tradition of sorts, to go to Marius' tombstone every year on her birthday. With time, she changed, adding more friends to her life, opening up a little bit, growing, learning, trusting the wrong ones and getting hurt, finding some genuine ones and healing, growing with every step, but her first friend was still Marius. When she was no more than seventeen, her family uprooted to shift to the states, making her leave behind the one memory of Marius.

Turning Twenty Six today, she had went to visit one of the graveyards as she was habituated to, on every birthday of hers.

Death was something not many think about, not on the day they were born, but her birthday had always been a reminder to her of what can one moment change, and if she couldn't be there at Marius', she developed a habit of paying respect to the ancestors, by placing flowers at those tombstones which hadn't any flowers on them.

As she knelt at one of the tombstones, she passed a fleeting glance on the name and something in her shivered. Xavier, said the name.

A name which she had buried in the deep contours of her heart, never to remember again.

Maan Xavier.

The first man to go through her defences, break them all, and made her to trust him, only to break her heart later.

On a day similar to today, nine years back, had she had her first talk with him at Marius' tombstone. She was surprised to see him there on her birthday, in her property, yet civility and her upbringing made her be warm to him though she didn't expect company then.

Maan Xavier was two years her senior, her close friend's older brother. He was too cool to talk to his sister's friends, and too hot to be even seen with somebody not famous like her. His presence there should've stuck odd, but she was distracted to see the first signs of warning.

"Who would think to mourn a death, instead of celebrating one's birthday? You're living up to your reputation" it was the first thing he told her.

He had entered her life that day, with some mischief, some magic. He had bumped into her at school everywhere she had been to, accidentally thereafter. He had made outrageous comments, yet made her laugh with the twisted sense of humour he had. He would put a hand on his heart and pretend to swoon when she laughed thus.

When their path crossed thereafter, there came a time, she enjoyed his company, considered him a friend even. There were times, she trusted him, and there were times he showed he cared in simple gestures.

People began to talk about them, as they saw her more with the school hottie. Not wanting people to talk about things which didn't hold any truth, she went to confront him that day at music room. It was the biggest mistake she had done.

He was alone in the music room that day, trying his hand at a violin. Everybody knew him to be an excellent Guitarist. He was the lead guitarist of the band he so loved.

Yet, as he touched the violin in the dark room almost reverently, had he shared something about him that day.

"When I was little, I was fascinated by violin. My dad wanted to be a Guitarist when he were young. He couldn't as his parents couldn't support him financially. As he grew up, his financial position was changed. Now he can own any number of Guitars he wants, can buy any number of music schools, but now he has no time. When he took me to join in the instrumental classes, he picked Guitar for me of course. Though I was very little, I saw him to be so excited, so I didn't push for the violin"

He turned to look at her with a smile. "What I do today is for him, but someday, I want to do what is right for me. Do you think such day would come?"

She meant to say something, anything at that moment, but only could step forward to touch his shoulder tentatively.

The otherwise dark room was illuminated with the dim rays flooding through it through heavy glass windows, which were carrying little specks of glowing dust with them, as she saw his honey brown eyes boring into hers.

Something about the way he was staring at her made her feel both terrified and exhilarated. And when he leaned in forward, with his hands slowly cupping her nape, she knew already what was coming.

His warm lips touched hers softly, just pressed once and parted tentatively. She had not realized her eyes got closed. He parted to look at her and the expression her face held, would be engraved in his memory for years to come. He leaned in again, and now when his lips met hers, they stayed, explored, caressed, as they both tasted the feeling of something sweet and warm, their hearts beating in sync.

When he parted, he plastered his forehead to hers, almost reverently, as their breaths mingled, coming in small pants.

"Geet" her name came out as a reverent prayer from her lips, as she opened her warm amber eyes, moist and filled with something inexplicable as she looked at the man before her, everything she wanted to say forgotten.

"Be my girl" he had told. And there was no turning back...

Except, of course life isn't fairy tale like. When she lost Marius, she buried back a part of that possessive child she were, who clung on to everything that was hers. She didn't want to get attached that much, as she was beginning to learn what a heartbreak is when something you love and are accustomed to the most was taken away from you.

But then, she did the mistake again, of caring for somebody so much. Scared as she was, she never verbalized it to him though. A month passed, and everything seemed perfect, except for one day when she was rudely awakened of a cruel practical joke that was played on her.

Maan Xavier apparently bet a thousand bucks that he would kiss the Nave Virgin that she was. She might not have believed if it were somebody else who told her, but she saw his friends appreciating him for being a go getter that he was, who could charm any women off her panties; their exact words being.

She had apparently been a challenge of his that was now attained. She hadn't cried then, not wanting to feel weak before him, as him and his friends belatedly realized her presence. She didn't slap him or ran him away crying. With as much courage she could muster, she walked up to him and put down the gift she bought him as it was his birthday that day.

"Happy Birthday" her tone was neutral, and cold, detached.

That were her parting words. Maan Xavier wasn't somebody who would run behind her to plead innocence, but he had caught her wrist then, just asking for something for the first time.

"All I want is a minute with you" he had asked her. His friends, too stunned and partly surprised at the turn of events, did the smart thing of taking their bags and steering clear, leaving them alone.

"Geet" his voice was soft as he called out to her.

"I have got a class to attend" she said tonelessly. If he knew her at all, he would know what she wanted then.

He released his grip off her wrist. "Is this really what you want?" he had asked her, his eyes boring holes into her, and she tried to keep her tone intact, and not let the treacherous tears to slip before him.

She nodded her head and walked away, out of the place, out of his life.

Exams approached after a week, followed by the term break. She didn't see him much after that. She had known it for a few months now that they were to move to US, but when they had immediately after exams, it had been as devastating as relieving. It didn't make the pain lessen, yet it gave her no chance to meet him, which was a relief. It killed her to leave the country she grew up in. As her things got packed, as the days came closer, she wasn't sure what hurt the most. Was it the thought of Maan or her eventual leaving behind everything that she grew up with.

There wasn't a face off, for which she was grateful. It was not for a lack of trying from him, she knew, but she also knew that he wouldn't approach her if she showed him that he was unwelcome.

The day she left the place she loved and grew up in, she would never be able to forget. When the car was moving away, she thought she saw a glimpse of a boy standing with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. As her heart hammered against her rib cage, she thought for a confused moment that it looked like Maan but her tear filled eyes blurred the image, making her wipe her eyes as she tried to look back at the place, only to find no body.

She didn't know if she hallucinated that day. She would never know the truth. If only had she looked at the bouquet that lay discarded on the ground, she must have known. But like many things, it remained unanswered...

She came back to the present at the sudden droplets of rain that kissed her eyelid, and then within few beats, fell rapidly, increasing their pace. She hadn't realized she had reached out to touch the name on the tomb stone, and removed her hand as if it scalded.

"Mourning instead of celebrating your birthday. Who thought, things would never change?" she heard a voice behind her and stiffened.

That voice, she could recall and remember even in the deepest of dreams. The voice that haunted her dreams, for so many years since she had moved to US.

Turning, she saw him, after nine long years. Maan Xavier stood before her, wet and drenching in rain, directly looking at her.

She stood up as she gathered all her will to face him. He had changed a lot. He had always been quite tall, but now, he looked stronger, almost towering her with his height. His face bore the marks of a man who saw both the best and worst times of life. There were laughing lines at the edge of his eyes, as well as the tell-tale signs of a scar or two on his face which he must have got years ago.

His eyes still were the same magnetic pair, which looked right through her.

"Maan" the whisper escaped her lips, as she stood before him, facing the memory of a person, take a life before her eyes.

He smiled humourlessly, his laughing lines pronounced. "You remember the name?"

With age, she thought she grew past the pain. She expected to remember him with bitterness or indifference, but neither happened. He had always remained a painful memory, and standing so close to him, having the conversation, only made it difficult for her.

"I will make it easy for you" he said reading her "Neither was I obsessing over where you could be, and finally tracked you down here nor am I here to talk about what happened nine years back"

The earlier humourless smile graced his face again.

"You didn't think it was me" she supplied slowly. It was almost believable to think that it was somebody he caught his interest at and followed, only to see it was her.

The humourless smile dimmed for a bit, before restoring on his face. Something about the smile looked odd. It didn't reach his eyes "If you want to believe that..." he said not answering directly.

At least there was one thing that didn't change.

"What do people call you now?" he asked after a beat.

Stunned at the strange question, she said without thinking "Geet Benjamin"

He grinned at her. "Not changed it yet?" he asked.

It was then had she remembered a conversation she long forgot, a conversation they have had nine years ago, in the beginning days when they crossed paths.

"I never liked your surname" he said one fine day.

"I can't change it now. Can I?" she asked slightly smiling.

"What do you think of Xavier as a surname?"

She was stunned at the outrageous comment but managed to laugh at his twisted sense of humour.

"I think I'll pass"

He was still the same. There were no explanations, neither to his actions, nor to his words. They were still ambiguous. And she didn't have the energy to lower her defences once again.

Nine years ago, it was a girl whose trust was crushed. She is a woman now, a smarter one at that. Yet, the hurt girl was somewhere inside her, hiding and she didn't want to face that part of her again.

"Excuse me. I got to go" she said moving away and he had stepped aside, making way to her. If it were somebody else, he would've either avoided her outright, or must have tried to clear things up. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Maan was neither. To the world, he showed he was as indifferent as it could be but his little gestures, had moved her deeply nine years back. Without telling outright, he showed in million ways that he cared, and maybe that's why, knowing that it was that sort of a man who cared for nothing in the world had cared for her, or at least buying his act of caring for her, had she fallen for him. Seeing Maan now treat her like he would've anybody else, she felt the familiar pain throbbing in her chest but she had too much of self-respect to extend the olive branch herself. It was him who did a mistake, it was him who broke her heart, yet he was successful in making her feel as if it were her who broke his heart and not the other way around... She had to leave as soon as possible. She didn't trust herself to stand there for few more moments, lest she does the foolish act of talking about the past.

She walked past him, and barely crossed him when she heard his voice call out to her.

"Geet" his voice was a gentle whisper, and when she met his eyes, for a moment she saw something in his eyes, that she had in the music room all those years ago.

"Happy Birthday" he had said, while she took it with a nod, and walked away out of the graveyard to her car. Once she was in the car, with rain pouring out, she had closed her face with her palm as she let herself tremble as she relived the past minutes. And around the same time, she felt moisture in her eyes run down through her cheeks.

Hey V, this story definitely should have more parts ...Plss V...beauutifulll story...Life long she was alone, now she definitely needs a closure and also a happy ending 😳

A very painful and to me incomplete story. There are so many ways this could end but the way it has seemed to be unsatisfactory as it has left me yearning for closure.

Wonderful story... Pls don't leave it hanging... Maan must hv something to say.. Pls cont n have maaneet happy ending... They deserve it..

Well, it felt like 2 different people in me were reading this story. I will share both "their" feedback's with you and let you choose which one you want to satisfy 😆-

Hi... It was indeed a soulful.. Story..geet have lost a friend whom she cared... Her trust on nature was broken but after maan.. It started again to build up... But again the circumstances brought her to be broken but now after nine year she is back .. With more determination... The way maan was talking ..it looks like maan was waiting for her... They both meet again on the same is place as before... Of u called it an end.. Then i must say that's incomplete dear.. But practically yeah its true.. Whatever u desired for its not usually be the same... Sometimes u end up hurting urself ND sometimes u are broken to an extent that there is no coming back ... But that is the point where nature plays its card.. We have to give chances.. Cox if we were given the ability to know what future hold for us we will never give right to anyone to break us.. We all would be living the way we want but there will be no trust..love.. ND passion...

sad emotional update! Well written

Heart wrenching emotional update...So much to say...wish they could get the opportunity to express themselves...thanks for the beautiful piece dear...

Awesm dear