Flowers in Stones
Keeping away from you
Is the hardest thing I'll ever do
But let me assure you
I never stopped loving you
I tried to keep you safe
But every day I was missing your embrace
All the time I kept pushing us apart
Had I known that your love can melt a frozen heart
~Just as water can erode the hardest stone ~ sincerity can melt the coldest heart ~
~I do not speak as I think, I do not think as I should, and so it all goes on in helpless
darkness ~
Franz Kafka
"Don't be a whining baby and eat it quietly", Astha was trying to push a spoonful of porridge in Shlok's mouth who was stubbornly refusing to eat at all. "Be a good boy and eat it, otherwise how would you expect yourself to recover, if you behave like that all the time I try to make you eat", she widened her eyes sternly. "Who told you to act like my mother?", he answered back rudely.
It was just two months past that he had been hit by the bullet which was meant for her and how she had blackmailed his henchmen in providing him with medical attendance was another story. It looked funny now if she put her mind to it but two months before it wasn't really funny at all.
She had picked up the pistol lying nearby her and had pointed it towards her temple, counting to five and threatening to take her own life right there if they won't take Shlok to hospital. A quite flustered and shocked Ramu Kaka had at once told the other men to pick Shlok up and take him to their hideout.
They couldn't take the risk of taking Shlok to the hospital but had kidnapped Astha's family doctor on her insistence and had brought him to Shlok's other hideout. The other hideout was well equipped with all medical supplies and a temporary operation theater but the problem was it was on one hour drive and it all depended on Shlok's condition whether he would survive. But he had to all of their astonishment.
All the way Astha was with him, sitting on the back seat of the car, his head placed on her lap. She had whispered her endearing words of love and encouragement in his ears, kissing his forehead and cold lips, trying to breathe some of her life and vitality in his body.
Shlok had been flitting in and out of daze all the while, his jaw clenched tight to keep the agonized moans from escaping out of his mouth. Even to the last moment he hadn't lost an ounce of that fabulous control of his and had kept nagging her about to leave him and run away. So she had shut him up with a kiss every time he opened his mouth to whisper.
But by the time they had reached the hideout and the kidnapped doctor and two nurses had arrived he had totally lost consciousness. Astha had grabbed the hold of a harassed looking doctor and had shouted at him to save Shlok at any cost leaving all of Shlok's henchmen open mouthed.
She was looking like a crazy woman then, a woman crazily in love. The doctor and nurses had wheeled him inside and had started operating on Shlok while all the time Astha had stood outside in the corridor, her eyes opened wide, unblinking, staring into the space.
She hadn't known that she was standing like a statue for three hours until a sympathetic Ramu Kaka had tried to take her to another room for rest. But she had refused to budge from her place and had instead sat on the cold tiled floor with a thump, putting her head between her knees. When the operation had finished, the doctor had given the good news that they had successfully removed the bullet, but due to heavy blood loss, Shlok had lapsed into a coma.
How long it would be they didn't know. Astha had passed right away on the floor, her legs had given away from shock and grief and that day they had made another discovery. She was pregnant, with Shlok's child...
After 15 days Shlok had woke up from his coma but it had taken toll on Astha's health. She was now too much weak, from her constant sleepless nights that she had spent in his room, staring at him sleeping peacefully. Her face had sunken and she had dark shadows under her eyes.
Only the hope of her baby and Shlok had kept her going. When she had received the news of her pregnancy she had been shocked, because it looked strange that another life was growing inside her, she had cried with happiness that she was going to be a mother and then with sorrow, because she didn't know how long it would take Shlok to be out of coma.
But it had taken only 15 days of deep slumber and one day he had opened her eyes to her whispers. For 15 constant days she had been beside his bed, whispering her love to him, telling him about his baby, sweeping his hair back from his forehead and kissing his cold lips.
Ramu Kaka had tried his best to tug her away from Shlok's side, scolding her to get some rest but she had refused. He had taken the news of the baby lightly, his expression showed that he was quite happy but was trying his best to act stern prior to her unhealthy condition...
In those 15 days she had grown quite close to him and he had also showed her his affectionate side. But when Shlok had woke up from his coma she had hidden that news from him, because Ramu Kaka had told her that it wasn't the right time to tell him about it.
He had also told her that Shlok wouldn't be happy to receive this news so it's better to hide it from him for the time being. And now she was two months pregnant, but having to hide her dizzy spells and nauseous state was getting difficult day by day and also Shlok had grown to be quite difficult after coming out of coma.
It was like he was fighting himself more than fighting with her on small matters. She was literally exasperated with their constant bickering and his habit of throwing tantrums like a little child nowadays. It was like she was pregnant with a baby, but she had to handle another baby on hand right now.
Even her pregnancy was not helping at all, she was moody, would get irritated on slight matters and sometimes would snap at Shlok, even when he was not fighting with her. Which would set spark to his already smoldering anger and then he would start throwing things all around him in a fit of rage. And just now he was refusing to eat his porridge, making disgusting faces like a child and hitting at the bowl with his bad arm which was in sling...
.
"The condition in which I am right now, is like I am your mother, not your mistress", she snapped at him, trying to rub at the wet spots on her hem which were caused by Shlok, throwing away the glass of milk that she had brought to him one hour ago. Her clothes were drab and hanging loosely on her thin frame. "Who told you to act like my mother, I have already set you free, so why are you tormenting yourself with me" he snapped right back at her.
"Yes, I must be really masochistic", she mumbled to herself while trying to rub harder at the hem of her shirt. "What did you say?", he growled at her. "Nothing, I just cursed you to hell", she answered with saccharine sweetness. "I am already there, wanna join me", he answered in a bored voice.
"No thanks you should stay there, my lord", she rolled her eyes and tugged at his quilt. My lord was a new word that she had been using lately and it was irritating the hell out of him. "Leave it", he bared his teeth and tugged at the quilt right back. "Don't do that, you'll open up your stitches", she admonished him like a child. "I said leave me alone, which part of it you don't understand", he roared.
"Fine, you dumb ass-hole", she threw the pillow at him, which hit him squarely in the eye and angry curses flew from his mouth. "I am going, you have a nice sleep my lord", she turned to go away but caught sight of him in the dressing table mirror, aiming the same pillow at her head with his good arm.
"Very bad aim my lord, you should practice more in future", she deflected the pillow and it crashed in the dressing table, causing various assortments to land on the carpeted floor...
"You...", he started to get up from the bed, but she rushed out of the room like a gazelle, then stuck her head back in the room and poked her tongue at him, causing him to see red, as was indicated by his crimson face and narrowed eyes, then ran right outside, light on her foot...
She had tried asking Ramu Kaka about her mother but he had told her that if Shlok would give permission then and only then he would tell her about her mother's whereabouts. And when she had asked Shlok about her mother he had told her that he would tell her about her only on one condition. That if she wants to know about her mother's whereabouts then she would have to leave him first, otherwise he won't tell her.
Astha had first fumed at his autocratic behavior and had poured the hot milk right in his lap, leaving him yelling after her and hopping on one foot. But after cooling down she had reached the conclusion that that the stupid brute was afraid that if he would tell her about her mother she would leave him for good, that's why he was putting that condition infront of her which would save his face by asking her to leave him first.
Arrogant, stubborn fool, she mentally scolded him all the while smiling at the thought that how well she was now beginning to understand him. One day, most probably she would get him to tell him all about himself.
Well she was stubborn too, she had thought herself and had begun on the quest of irritating the life out of him and slowly and slowly he was unfurling infront of her, his weaknesses were popping out one by one and every time he showed some of them she would give him a wink and a sweet smile and he would blow his fuse.
But like a stubborn child he was refusing to give in, still trying to enact that mental shield infront of him which used to keep her at a safe distance in the past, but now it had no more power to hold her at bay...
"You know it's no use now, telling yourself that you don't love me, when I know that you tried to give your life, while saving mine", she whispered to his back. It was night and they were lying side by side on the bed in his room.
He had turned on his side, his back to her when she had slid in beside him, trying to ignore her like he did every night. It was not possible to make love because of his condition but Shlok was acting like even a single touch or kiss was forbidden to him.
"How many times I have to tell you that I don't love you, and I didn't save you, the bullet was meant for me not for you", he answered in a bored voice, his back still turned towards her. "And how many times I have to call you a liar when you say stuff like that which makes no sense at all, do I look like a fool to you, he had pointed the gun at me not at you", she hissed.
"Go to sleep princess, don't eat my head, I don't want to argue with you", he yawned. "No way", her patience of two months gave way and she shook at his shoulder. "Tell me at once now, it's enough, your turning your back at me", she snapped at him. "And it's enough for me too princess, your constant nagging", he got up on the bed and snapped on the side lamp...
"What do you want me to say", he jerked her towards him by holding her arm in a viselike grip. "Just say the truth", she whispered looking straight into his black eyes, which had become darker with annoyance.
"What truth, what do you want in reality princess, this", he jerked her closer, until his angry breath whispered across her lips. "You missed this, am I right princess, like a bitch in heat you couldn't resist this, even when I told you to get out of my life, you couldn't stay back from this", he said in a dark tone.
"You misunderstood, it's not that", nervously, she ran out her tongue over her lips, which had gone dry at his nearness and her heart was beating a crazy tattoo across her chest.
"It's exactly that princess, didn't you want me to accept it, so I am telling you that I am accepting that lust, obsession, whatever it is that really exists between us, because it's not love at all and it won't ever be love", his eyes hungrily followed the path of her tongue.
"It's love, why won't you accept it, why you have to spoil it with your crude words", she clutched at his shoulders, her fingers digging into the flesh with desperation.
"Cause love don't exist at all princess, it doesn't exist at all", his fingers were lightly caressing her arms and goosebumps were forming over them. She shivered with awareness and her fingers dug harder in his muscled shoulders.
"See only lust", his mocking laughter followed his hot mouth closing over her lips. After that it was sheer madness. His good arm clutched at her head, angling her mouth for a deeper kiss, while her fingers tore at his shirt buttons and her lips moved like liquid beneath his mouth...
It was total bliss, heaven and Astha felt like a homing pigeon coming atlast to her home in his arms. Even his cruel taunting words were unable to drench her arousal which rose inside her like a raging fire. Shlok rose above her, bending her backwards over his good arm and taking little nips out of her luscious bottom lip...
She gave a deep purr in her throat and nipped back. He growled and began to tug at the straps of her nightgown, without breaking contact with her lips at all. It was insanity, with his condition and all but for now, even the light wave of pain rising in his arm didn't matter.
"God, Shlok, no", she moaned trying to bring him back as he suddenly tore his mouth away from her, breathing heavily and trying to control his erratic heartbeat. A thin film of perspiration was coating his forehead and his body was trembling slightly...
"Shlok", she raised a trembling hand to his cheek. As his gaze locked with her for a moment, she could see the vulnerability that he was hiding inside, but only for a moment then the cold shutters were back again on his eyes, locking him out from the world...
But in that moment Astha knew he loved her desperately, maybe even more then her and her heart felt deep contentment at the thought of all the love and care that he was hiding inside him and which he had shown her only a glimpse off.
"See, nothing but lust princess", tiredness had seeped in his voice. In return she smiled sweetly at him, but said nothing. He threw her an annoying glance then got up from the bed. "Where are you going?", Astha asked him anxiously.
"None of your business", he answered in an irritated tone. "In other words running away from you Astha", she mimicked his tone. He didn't bother to answer and headed towards the door. "I LOVE YOU SHLOK", her desperate whispering tone stopped him in his tracks. He felt the hair line crack in his heart widening, becoming a fissure.
The feeling of agony was great, taking chunks out of his bruised and beaten heart. He had lied when he said love didn't exist, it existed but the torn tissues of his heart were not capable of feeling that emotion again. No one was able to mend them, and no one will be, because he won't let anyone inside, not Astha surely...
Love hurts, and he had no more energy left to feel that love again...
"I am pregnant Shlok", it was her last bid to gain his attention and he did turn on his heels then, a shocked look on his face. "I am two months pregnant, you are going to be a father in 7 months time", she said quietly to the man standing in the doorway, whose facial features seemed to be carved from the stone.
The homing pigeon had thrown away her last chance at freedom. It had fallen in love with her captivity and now no longer wanted to be free...
Even flowers could bloom from stones, the vines could find cracks in the stones to creep into. The harshest the surface, the more softer things could grow out of it. It was the law of nature, the reality, the truth. And Astha Shlok Agnihotri, as she liked to call herself nowadays was going to prove that law...
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