Chapter 37: Soul-Scorching
"I am bored" Payal cribbed for the tenth time since morning. "There's nothing to watch on the TV"
"Study something." Khushi told her.
"No. Everything is boring. And I didn't even get all my books. Didi, till when are we going to live here? Can I go back to my school now?"
"Not now." Khushi answered with hesitation. Then, she picked up Payal's Math book from the table. "Here, solve the exercise for the topics I taught you last night. Your final exams are in two months, you shouldn't fall behind. Sit and do them and don't get up till all are finished."
"Didiii you're so strict."
"Oh yeah, how about all those times when I get you something you want - then I'm cool and fun, right." Khushi retorted and Payal giggled in response.
Arnav lifted his eyes to see Khushi and Payal fighting as only siblings could. He was glad he'd chosen to work from home today; peace had come to him at long last and he didn't want to let Khushi away from his eyes for a second if he could help it. Yet, the overbearing question in the room loomed large - what now? As Payal said, they couldn't be here forever. At the very least, Payal needed to go back to school. Khushi too would want to do something with her life, probably study. As for him, he was willing to give up anything if Khushi would be with him, but he didn't know what was on her mind. He must tell her to stay with him, he decided.
If not as lovers and partners, at least as friends.
"You're really bored. You're missing your friends?" Khushi asked Payal after a while, noticing her distractedly turning pages.
"Yeah. It was so much fun in the hostel. I miss my gals. And I also had my desktop computer in the room that I now miss."
"Okay, you two. Get up, get dressed." Arnav spoke, walking towards them.
"What? Why?" Khushi asked, standing up herself.
"Because we are going out. Shopping and lunch. Come on."
"Yey." Payal said and rushed towards her room before her sister had a chance to say no. She had that look on her voice that usually meant she was going to stubbornly argue something to death.
"But Arnav..."
"No arguments. What's the point sitting here and getting bored? Let's go out. It's such good weather. Go get ready. Don't you feel suffocated sitting inside the four walls..." Arnav saw Khushi face pale at his last statement and he suddenly realized the import of his words. Hadn't he kept her caged in a room for months? How did she feel?
Khushi nodded, then turned towards her room, but Arnav held her arm and stopped her.
"...I am sorry." he spoke, but his voice was suddenly very heavy and low, making Khushi turn back to face him. "I didn't think about how you must have felt. I didn't even let you out of your room for months. I just..."
"Shh..."Khushi put her finger on his lips, not wanting him to go down this path of guilt any longer. "What's done is done, right? You promised, remember, that we won't go down this road." Khushi smiled and Arnav nodded. Then she held out her palm. "Now give me your hands" Arnav did as instructed and Khushi took both of Arnav's hands in hers, caressing them gently as she spoke.
"We have to let go of the pain of the past Arnav, otherwise it will consume our future. Look at me..."she coaxed and he moved his gaze from the hands to her eyes "...I have forgiven you. You need to forgive yourself too."
"Khushi..."
"Shh...besides, who said I was locked in the room. I was all over the house. HP kaka never said no to me" Khushi grinned.
"Yeah" Arnav finally smiled too "You enjoy having people wrapped around your fingers, don't you? First him, now me and Payal!"
"Arnav!" Khushi admonished and they both chuckled.
"Ok, now tell me where are you taking us?"
"Wherever you want. Have you seen Pune before?"
*******************
"Wow. That is so awesome Arnav bhaiya." Payal beamed looking at the new laptop.
"You like it? Okay, let's get two of these packed."
"Two?"
"One for your sister. She has her studies too."
"Awesome, Khushi didi would be thrilled."
"What will I be thrilled at?" Khushi asked, joining Arnav and Payal who had walked ahead of them in the showroom while she had excused herself to go to the restroom. On her way out, she stopped at the ATM machine to take out some money using the card Arnav had given her for the account HP kaka had opened. She was stunned to see over 50Lakhs in the account, though she expected there to be only around 3 Lakhs, the money she had given HP kaka.
"This laptop. Isn't it awesome? We're getting two - one for you and one for me."
"But Arnav..."Khushi protested.
"You both need it for your studies, Khushi. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. Come now, let me pay and then let's get around to buying some clothes." Arnav said with his confident yet charming smile, trying to egg them on.
"Arnav wait" Khushi stopped him even though Payal was already at the counter getting the laptops packed. "I can't let you pay for it...this is too much. You..."
"Khushi, again..."
"No Arnav this isn't fair. I will pay for it." Khushi protested.
"Okay." Arnav calmly said and folded his hands to his chest. Khushi looked at the smirk on his face and wondered what he was thinking to have agreed to easily.
They walked to the billing counter and Arnav happily pushed the bill to Khushi, who looked at the amount and gave the salesperson her debit card.
"You..."she glanced up at Arnav angrily as she realized what the game was. He could easily just add money to her bank account when he wanted.
"What Khushi?" he innocently asked, though his shameless grin gave it away.
"You can't do this..."she spoke, but it was less in anger and more of a whine.
"Oh come on Khushi...my money is useless to me unless it's spent on something useful. Otherwise, what's the point? Now come on, don't fret. When you finish your studies and get a job, you can pay me 10% of your salary every month. Ok?" He offered, then winked at her and somehow Khushi didn't have the heart in her to protest when he was asking so nicely.
She still felt deeply uncomfortable accepting Arnav's money, yet there was a part of her that wasn't that uneasy. Perhaps it was the irony of her life which had been defined by a greedy chase of money by those around her, a chase that hadn't even stopped at trading away her very existence. Somehow, now her destiny wanted to show her this other side, where money was almost inconsequential, merely a means to a greater end. Somehow, in the promise of trust and safety she saw in Arnav's eyes, she found a glimpse of all the affection that her destiny had stolen from her in a quest for more money.
**************************
Much later that night, Arnav found himself back on the swing in his backyard. A gentle breeze and a full moon made the evening especially pleasant even though several things tossed around in Arnav's mind. It had been an enjoyable afternoon, spent happily over lunch, shopping and a little bit of sightseeing. They were flanked with bodyguards and Arnav was still somewhat wary of being out in the open lest someone tried to attack Khushi, but they still had a lot of fun. Payal was a brat at times but she was a good kid. She constantly reminded Arnav of a younger Anjali and he enjoyed pampering her. They both made Khushi try out a number of clothes and Arnav found himself enjoying the sight in front of his eyes a bit too much.
In particular, there was a black figure-hugging designer suit they'd made Khushi try. The low neckline and the flattering curves hit Arnav like a bolt of lightning when Khushi stepped out blushing from the trial room, refusing to buy the dress. He added the dress and a number of other clothes to their final bill while Khushi and Payal weren't looking, including a few saris for her. Even now, the memory of Khushi in that black sari at the poolside sent desire raging through his body. How he wished he could just go in and take her in his arms for a soul-scorching kiss right now, he thought as he lay down on the swing and closed his eyes, letting the evening breeze soothe him.
After about half an hour, Arnav sensed a presence and saw Payal out in the yard, sitting by the stairs and looking at the moon just like he'd been.
"Can't sleep, kiddo?" Arnav sat up and asked her.
"Oh, I didn't see you there, bhaiya." Payal stood up noticing Arnav.
"It's ok, come sit here. Not sleepy?" Arnav smiled at her.
"No, I slept in the evening when we came back and now I can't sleep. Were you also watching the moon? You know didi and I used to love watching the sky when I was younger."
"Really? Nice. You love your sister a lot, don't you?"
"I do. She's everything to me. I don't remember my mother much. My dad...he wasn't around much...he didn't love us also, I think. He drank too much. Khushi didi always kept me safe I guess. As far as I am concerned, she is my whole family."
Arnav smiled at her. "You are everything to her, too. It's up to you to make her proud, you know."
"I want to. I want to study hard and become successful and independent just like she wants." Payal beamed, then continued in a low voice, "One time...one time I saw my dad slap her. I was so angry...but she protected me...the next slap was for me but she took that too. Anyway, I just want her to be happy. She is nice to everyone, she should be happy. I haven't seen her happy in a long time."
"Yes, she deserves to be happy. Your sister suffered a lot more pain that nice people like her deserve, Payal. Now, it's up to us - it's up to you - to make her happy. Whatever she needs. "
"She doesn't ask for much, you know. She gets happy easily. Sometimes I lose my temper. I don't know why I get so angry. But she never scolds me, she always makes me understand. And then when I apologize later, she becomes happy. Just like that."
Arnav nodded at the veracity of Payal's words. All day long, she had refused to buy stuff for herself, but her eyes had literally sparkled when they stopped at a bangle store he dragged her to, remembering she liked them from their Panchgani trip. Watching that, he had to stop himself from buying the whole store for her with great difficulty, though he ended up buying a lot more than the two bangles she agreed to buy.
"Thank you" Payal said after a minute or two of silence.
"For what?" Arnav looked at her quizzically.
"For helping her. She told me she was in trouble and you helped her."
"It wasn't a big deal, Payal."
"It was to her. You know, I used to like Shyam bhaiya. He was cool and always got me chocolates when Khushi didi refused. More importantly, I thought he made her happy. But I guess I was wrong."
Arnav's eyes narrowed at this mention of Shyam. From Khushi's letter and some conversation with Payal earlier, he had come to the conclusion that Shyam was a neighbor or friend of some sort and he was the man who had somehow sold her to Tony, given Khushi had warned Payal off him.
"She really trusts you." Payal continued, breaking Arnav's thought from delving deeper. "She told me if I was ever in any trouble or if something happened to her, I should find you and trust you."
Arnav was overwhelmed at the innocent trust in Payal's eyes and he couldn't help hugging her with a surge of protectiveness. Her eyes were the same as Khushi's, innocent and gleaming. Suddenly, he understood better Khushi's urge to protect Payal at all cost and where Khushi found it in herself to endure all the pain she had undergone.
"You know I have a cousin sister just like you. She's older than you but you remind me of her. I will never let anything happen to you or Khushi, I promise." He said, breaking the hug. Payal smiled in response.
"I know. I like you very much. Didi does too. She was telling me..."
"Payal" Khushi called out, entering the yard. She was quickly wiping away her tears, having heard most of the conversation between Arnav and Payal when she'd come looking for the latter. She had stopped when she heard Payal confess to Arnav how she worried about her. She had never imagined her kid sister thinking that way and she was also amazed at the depth of the bond she'd come to share with Arnav to be speaking easily of things she hadn't even told her. Then, when she heard Arnav reassure her as well as promise to protect her, Khushi knew she had done the right thing placing her trust in Arnav Singh Raizada. Oh, what wouldn't she do for this man!
"What are you doing here?" she asked, walking up to the swing.
"Nothing. I was just going in to sleep. Good night Arnav bhaiya. Good night didi." Payal said, standing up.
Khushi watched her walk back into the house then turned to saw Arnav staring at her. He gestured her to sit next to him on the swing and she obliged.
"She's a smart kid. She reminds me of Anjali." Arnav said after a few seconds.
"She is in awe of you, you know. She wants to open a fashion designing business just like one of your firms. She loves you." Khushi gushed.
"And what about you?" Arnav couldn't help asking.
"Me?"
Do you love me too?
"What do you want to be? As in, have you thought of the future? What do you want to do next? Where do you want to be?"
"I..."Khushi began uncertainly.
"I mean you don't have to answer right now or even decide everything. You should take your time. Stay with me as long as you can, please"
Khushi ignored the tingling she felt from the last words spoken by Arnav and said instead "I haven't really decided. I have to think about Payal."
"Hmm. I can get her admitted to a good school, no problem. There should be no more threat from Tony to you or from anyone else I know of at this point, although we should be careful, just in case. Wherever Payal goes to study, I'd make sure there's security around her."
"It's..."
"Hear me out. Actually, there's something I really need to talk to you about. This Tony...every time I think of what happened to you...every time I think of Aman's party where I found you...I can't sleep in peace. My lawyer helped me get in touch with the DIG Police yesterday...informally of course...I want to somehow put Tony in jail and his racket busted. Police is willing to act too. But I want to know what you thought about it?"
"Can this really happen? Can police catch him? Some girls told me...they have a nexus with the police."
"Maybe so, maybe at local police stations. The DIG said if we help them with an exact address and some details, they could launch a special sting operation. Try to sell a girl. If Tony bites, they could catch him red-handed and build on it. Prostitution of all girls may be hard to prove especially if they can't get witnesses, but if they find him, some evidence at the place...then they can definitely shut the operation down and put Tony in jail for trafficking. I mean...you're safe, thank God, but when I think of other girls going through what you..."
"Lavanya didi..."
"Who?"
"Lavanya didi. She was there with me. I met her there. She has been there for a few years. Trapped like most girls. She was the one who protected me when they beat me. I have her number. I can call her and use her help for all addresses where they keep girls and send them and where Tony is. She knows more than me."
"So you want to do this then?"
"Yes. You don't know what hell that place is. Those lecherous men...the way they treat girls...look at us...I felt like...I felt..."
Arnav wiped away the tears that had started to leak from Khushi's eyes and pulled her closer to himself in an embrace.
"Shhh...I know. I wish you never had to see that. I am sorry I couldn't save you sooner..."
"I felt so cheap, so worthless, like a commodity."Khushi continued between sobs. "They take away our identity, our humanity, our freedom. The very notion of choice. All they see is our body and they decide between themselves who gets to use us next, for how much, for how long. It is dehumanizing. Some of those girls...I couldn't even talk to them. They look adjusted to that world but really they have lost all sense of themselves. Sometimes when they are alone, they are like zombies. It's like they went through so much pain, they broke. Not everybody gets a savior like I got, but I wish they are all saved Arnav. And that Tony...and those men...I want them to burn in hell..."
Arnav continued to rub her arm and hold her tight as a mix of Khushi's anger and pain erupted. He had tears of anger and pain in his own eyes hearing Khushi's words but he didn't interrupt her because he wanted her to let it out of the system.
He kissed her on the head and spoke when she finally stopped, still holding her tight in his arms. "I will do everything I can...I promise. Your name wouldn't come in the records or anything...not even mine...but whatever information you have, just write it and give it to me tomorrow. I will do everything in my power to make sure Tony's men are punished and this racket is busted."
"Hmmm"
"But...there's something I would need to know. Can you...if you don't mind...can you tell me how you got to Tony? I remember you said someone sold you. Your father or? And how did Tony pay them, if you know?"
Khushi pulled away from the embrace and stared silently at the ground. She had to tell him some day anyway.
"It wasn't my father, though it could have been. It was Shyam. My father died seven months back. He was drunk and violent and abusive. One night, in a drunken rage, he tried to force himself on me. Somehow I ran away. When I came back in the morning, I realized he had fallen and died." Khushi gulped, then continued. "I and Payal were alone and the men to whom my father owed money to took our house. Shyam was our neighbor. We thought he was a friend. He was nice to both of us. He...he said he loved me. I did too, or so I thought. I was too naive. He asked me to move with him. I agreed, I had nowhere else to go. But when I asked him to marry me, he postponed it. After some time, people started talking bad things about me because I was living in his house. I wanted to protect Payal, so he helped me send her to boarding school. He made most of the arrangements. I trusted him. But he still kept refusing to marry me. He wanted me to sleep with him. I kept saying no...not before marriage and he started yelling at me. One day..."
Arnav felt Khushi stiffen. He held her hands trying to reassure her it was okay, even though his own heart was breaking into pieces hearing about the betrayal of Khushi's innocent love. How could she trust another person after that!
"...one day, he got angry. He beat me and tried to rape me. He said some really horrible things. I locked myself into a room. That was the moment I realized he never loved me at all. That's not how true love was supposed to be. You don't beat and rape and call the woman you love a s**t. Few hours later, he returned with his friends. I was terribly scared. They managed to break the door and were almost about to rape me when one of them suggested Shyam to sell me instead. They said...they said...they could get paid a lot more for a virgin. Something like two lakhs. So they beat me and touched me but didn't rape me. They put me in a van and brought me to Mumbai...that house where you sent the car when you took me to your house. That was where they kept me...Tony...his men...they..."
Khushi was crying quite uncontrollably by now and Arnav stopped her. He couldn't bear to hear any more, though he could guess. Khushi has escaped being raped from the men she'd trusted, but she had found herself sold and then in his bed, raped by him. Just listening to Khushi's words made him want to wretch uncontrollable in anger. He didn't know how she lived through all of that! He enveloped her completely in his embrace and tried to calm her down.
"Enough Khushi...God I cannot even imagine...the pain you were under...the horror...I am so sorry...I did not want to make you relive the horror...I don't need to know any more...I am really sorry"
"I...they...they dirtied me...they destroyed me..."Khushi hiccuped, unable to say anything. Arnav pulled her up and held her face within her palms.
"Look at me...you didn't deserve any of it, okay. You were hurt too much, but it'd never happen again. I would not let anything hurt you even a bit, I promise. Those men that hurt you...I will do my best for them to be found and punished. You are the purest, most beautiful soul in the world. Those men, anyone in this world in fact...trust me, Khushi, they could have hurt your body but nobody can touch your soul."
Except you, she found herself thinking.
"You are not destroyed. Nobody in the world has the power to destroy you or hurt you. Nobody is that important or that worthy"
Except you, she thought again.
"Your identity is your own. You are Khushi Gupta...the most amazing beautiful loving respectable woman in the world and you will always be. God, you are the bravest person I know." He muttered as he continued wiping her tears with his thumbs.
Khushi placed her hands on Arnav's face. His eyes were the perfect reflection of her own at the moment. It felt as if her pain and anguish was just as much in her eyes as it was in his. That deep understanding, that non-accusatory compassion and that unmistakable connection was evidence of a pull too strong for Khushi to resist anymore.
Teri dhadkano se hai zindagi meri
Khwahishein teri ab duaaein meri
Kitna anokha bandhan hai ye
Teri meri jaan jo ek hui
"Arnav..."she whispered as he wiped his tears, mimicking his actions.
"Khushi..."he spoke too, lost completely in the moment.
The next moment, Khushi's lips were on his and his hands moved back to hold her nape as he kissed her back. But it wasn't enough. The anguished burning souls needed each other to heal. Arnav pulled Khushi closer and held her by the head before diving back into her mouth, his tongue matching hers every stroke as passion erupted like a soothing balm to begin to heal the scorched soulmates.
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Suhaana har dard hai
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