Now-Before-Later-2!
You taught me not to forgive one easily, and now I'm practicing what you taught me, sincerely.
Part-11:
Speak the truth even if your voice shakes.
Now-2:
"Saki, take this pouch," her Dhi (Cousin Sister) put a golden color pouch on the dressing table.
"See, you can't talk like a little girl, he is soft and I know you won't disappoint us. But still-"
She stopped as Sakshi looked her through the mirror, who was adjusting her hair.
She started a minute later, "Don't talk to him loudly, ok? You are a good girl and he should see it too, right?"
She took some bangles and extended toward Sakshi.
Bangles? What's in colors once the color of life faded out altogether? She sighed.
Her poor Dhi did not know she was not wearing more than one bangle these days. And most of the time she wore white color, as though trying to calm her mind which was seething more and more as days passed.
She took two black color bangles from her Dhi and when she tried to argue, Sakshi quieted her with a look.
Her Dhi took the shawl (Dupatta) and said, "Saki-"
"Dhi, stop it. As you said I'm going, right? If you are going to talk like this till I get ready, I'll cancel the dinner."
She threatened.
Her Dhi, though was shocked, did not say a word then.
Sakshi knew and it was hurting her too. But she could not tolerate these things even for her Dhi.
From the morning, as soon as she (Her Dhi) arrived, her Dhi had started talking about him.
All right, he was a king in humanity, a lion in friendliness, a gem in men and a child in innocence, but who cared, who wanted?
Oh, she could not tell this her dear Dhi!
But she could tell him. She had decided to talk to him that day.
Finally the time came and she got in to the car. She had forgotten to bid a good bye to her Dhi or...
She was silent, but her mind was not.
'Just call him and tell', it started, 'Just finish it at once. Just ask him to cancel the dinner and go to the beach.'
In a beach, you can talk nearly anything and it will be easy too.
Before a sea, nothing will seem big, heavy... and unsolvable.
Just call him.
She turned to him as he looked at her and smiled.
'No, this is not like his, for sure. Hisd be more appealing, you know,'
Shut-up!
"I -" she cleared her throat and asked, "Can we go to the beach?"
His smile broadened, "Why not? If you wish, we can go anywhere! And yes, after the dinner we'll go to the beach, Sakshi,"
'You fool! you were to ask him to cancel the dinner!'
She tried again, "Can we go to the beach now?"
"We shall, but we can't. I've reserved a table there in the restaurant, for it is Sunday. If you really want to go to the beach, we can cancel the reservation," he turned toward her.
'To say 'No' what if it is a beach or a restaurant?'
"We can go to the restaurant, I think."
But she did not know when she said it that her fate was there waiting for her, with an evil smile all over its face.
#
He stopped the car in front of the restaurant.
"Shall we?" he asked with a smile.
"Haan?" she came out of her evening dream.
His smile broadened and he pointed a finger toward the restaurant.
"Oh, sorry! I-"
Her gaze widened and she felt the giddiness her brain was sending down through her spine.
When he opened the door for her, she felt as though she was choking suddenly.
Her brain was screaming, 'NO, NO, NO...'
She knew she would not feel her foot touching the ground here by floating sensation or by sinking sensation.
Now the later one...
She was not ready to move when he extended a hand to help her.
She thought as though she was descending from an ambulance, for there was no stretcher to move her with, that up to the hospital bed, she had to walk herself.
She could see it visibly that her fate laughing hysterically and led her way toward the restaurant.
When she reached the steps, she whispered, This can't be true!'
The fate rose in the steps, steadily.
She entered in.
No- she was not alone there. There were a lot of people, smiling, serving, clinging, glistening even stuttering.
Suddenly, Shiva came there. Where was he this long? Where did he go, leaving her all alone with her fate at the entrance? Is this for her Dhi sent her with him? Irresponsible-
But, from there, he never left her alone, he showed her a seat to sit in before her knees buckled in and when she extended a hand he offered a glass of water.
'Yes, he is soft,' she thought.
'I know it, well before, Her fate interrupted.
She turned and saw that it was sitting beside her.
'Shut up! I didn't ask you!'
'I know it too, well before!'- It giggled.
She turned away and saw that Shiva was sitting in a chair there.
He smiled and she returned that smile.
He started ordering without asking her opinion. Thank God! She doesn't have to say to him that she has no opinion from t'hat day'.
'He is so considerate!'
To her surprise the fate was silent. She thought maybe it got another companion in the crowd around.
But when the food was served, she had to admit that the fate was watching her this long and was suppressing a thunderous laughter ever since.
Suddenly she had started seeing through the crowd.
"What's it Sakshi?"
He asked seeing her searching.
"Nothing," she thought she was talking to the fate, "Just seeing whether any familiar face is around, " still she was searching for that one face. But he was not there, anywhere.
"Hah, Sakshi, come on. We are not in the 18th century. If we were, we can't come out like this, " he motioned toward her and him.
Then she got that he was talking to her.
"If we were, we don't have to come like this," she said sarcastically.
The bearer came to collect the soup bowl and saw that she had hardly touched it.
She smiled and moved the bowl for him to collect fast.
./
./
./
She was still stirring the food, whatever they had served in her plate.
He was talking in a low voice, once in a while she noted it, but she was talking to her fate all the time.
Suddenly she remembered that she had not yet started telling him the purpose she came with him there.
I' bet, you won't!' the fate started.
'You think? Even now I can tell him. Be ready to go away from me.'
'----
'Hey, have you already gone away?' she laughed.
'He..he..no! I was waiting for you to tell him. See he's finished eating.'
'Me too!'
'Ten to one you won't tell him!'
'Go away!'
'Ten to one-
She pushed the plate away and sighed as though she had moved a mountain- no, in real, now she had to!
She looked at him and opened her mouth, but he asked, "Ice cream?"
She felt the giddiness again and the slackness in everything around her.
Ice cream?
Mm..no need if you talk to me some more!..
She felt her cheeks turning red in anger now.
If I say you are the one who is going to pay for the ice cream then will you say so still?
She heard the sound of clinging cups from 'that day'.
We are going there only...
She gritted her teeth and clutched her pouch tightly. If her nails had been somewhat sharper, the pouch would have spilled its contents on the table.
Come on Sakshi, it's getting late...
She snapped.
She had decided to kill her fate.
She stood up suddenly and he looked shocked.
"What happened, Sakshi?"
Then she felt that people around them were staring at them.
But she would not sit back-No she had heard enough.
"I want to go," she insisted, "My head is aching."
She was not lying then; her head was pounding like a hammer.
"I think you've to consult an eye specialist. It seems it's annoying you often. That day too-"
"Very well, you don't have to marry a girl with defects," she said hotly.
"Sakshi, I-"
"Shall we move or I?"
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