I was travelling to a unknown destination running from my past and present looking forward for future and only hoping that it would be better if not best. . all my life I only expected such a tiny thing but what I ended up getting was only the opposite. .
I don't or can't blame it on anyone because I had no one to look forward to. . to hold me when iam falling. . say me everything going to be ok when the life was at its worst phase. . there was no one. . but back of my mind this question pops up leaving me with no answer do I deserve this? did I ever deserved it?dont I have an ounce of right to be happy like everyone else? Was my fortunate that bad?'
All my life I wanted a simple life with a bit of happiness and peace. . i only wanted a person who would care for me. . even would be interested to listen. . was it too much to ask for?
I was soo lost in my sorrows that I dint realize there was someone sitting next to me. . when I started my journey this bus was quite empty and when I looked around there were many empty seats still. . I just wondered why anyone would want to accompany a lonely soul like me. The mere thought of it filled me with a strange feeling.
He turned towards me and caught me staring at him but I couldn't divert my gaze I was lost in those dark brown orbs staring back at me but that stare was not awkward. . I felt as if I was getting lost in them I could see the purity of ocean and glint of simplicity in them. . I felt as if those pair of orbs had the ability to read the pain in my eyes and ache of my heart. .
I wondered there can anyone be soo perfect and out of all the people in the world want to accompany me. . again a seed of hope sown in my heart but quickly I threw it away not allowing it to sprout because my little heart was not in the position to take any more pain. . one more stroke and I would end up falling apart and no one collect the broken pieces.
I was battling again. . but when I saw his face he was smiling at me as if to say iam with you. . to hold to and never let you fall' I question myself why this stranger is soo familiar. . was it a sign that it was my time to be happy?. . or is it me who would just jump at the mere chance of I would be loved and cared by someone. . that even my existence mattered. . that iam no more a dead walking in the wide world.
"don't over think, everything will be ok. ." he said as if reading my turmoil. His soothing voice was like a ointment to my wrenched heart. I soo wanted to believe him everything going to be ok'. . but who was I kidding? This ride comes to an end and I would never see him again and end up being alone in this wide world. I felt a pang of hurt in my heart this stranger had already made his place in my heart unknown to me. . words refused to accompany me as every other things even they denied to be my acquaintance I just started at him tears filled my eyes. . till today none gave me hope but this stranger was filling me hope which was long lost.
He held my hand in his giving it a reassuring squeeze. . his touch replete me with warmth. Warmth that I engraved for years. . Warmth I thought I could never feel but this stranger's mere touch made me to come across this heavenly aura.
The ride went on and he never left my hand and I dint even speak a word so far but I dint feel the need to he could read me like an open book. I perceived it to be a beautiful dream which I never saw but somewhere I knew it would vanish in the thin air. . and this dream would turn into a nightmare. .
The happiness dint knock the doors of my heart for years had made its way into it and I wanted to preserve it for lifetime because I knew my destiny was soo cruel that It would snatch each thread of happiness from me. . but with the company of this stranger I forgot everything only one thing I knew I just want to live this moment.
Our journey came to an end I so wished it would never end but just go on all good thing has to come to an end' I remembered this quote. . but in my case the only good thing ever happened to me was coming to an end. We made our way out he picked up his luggage. I stood there numbed a lone tear escaped from my eyes yet again. . I was left alone. . to cry. .' he just turned "until we meet again" he gestured me to smile. . and my lips curved up in a small smile. until we meet again' I sighed and made my way.
Anupamaa
