Posted:
I let him down. I betrayed him. How could I?
I was too drowned in my own emotions upon seeing his broken heart, witnessing his bafflement and feeling his tormented suffering that I forgot to give him the space he deserved. The scenes won't stop flashing in front of my eyes. The words I scripted myself on this forum last night, are haunting me to the very core. His emotions, his pain, his suffering was such that he deserved a new start, a new page, a new post. I was too enveloped in my own aching pain of his betrayal that I forgot to shower him with the praises for his performance for his acting last night.
Manik Malhotra. Parth Samthaan.
He defines growth. He defines hard-work. He defines perfection.
Last night was difficult. My fingers would type, then halt. Then commence, then stop. His best friend, his brother had for forever wounded their brotherhood. Shattered it in the tiniest specs of pieces. But he... he left me speechless. I face a dilemma now. Should I call him Manik or confide to him as Parth? Because I see no line between the two. Parth's eyes yet Manik's tears. Parth's lips yet Manik's lack of speech. Parth's heart yet Manik's wounds. One doesn't even seem to completely end yet, when the other begins his start. The world calls it "putting yourself in the shoes of the character".
I claim it to be "putting your soul into the existence of the character". He makes it a part of himself.
I feel disgusted upon not appreciating the precision, the flawlessness, the exquisiteness he showcased on our screens. Applauds will fall short. Words will fall less. A standing ovation will not do justice. Yet I want to give it a try. Perhaps a bow? Who knows. Or maybe it's only fair that my silence expresses his worthiness. My silence will speak the thousand words that this world is incapable of defining. Because his silence, made me silent. His emotions, woke such feelings in my heart that may have never been felt before. Pain? Hurt? Defeated? Nope. They all aren't enough.
His stoned eyes screamed piercing pain, excruciating hurt, hopeless defeat.
His feet. Stumbling within themselves.
His lips. Falling dry with the fear of loneliness,
How? Just how? Such realistic portrayal is much rare. It's a gift we've discovered. A gift he has offered.
I feel honored. I wish to celebrate the sight of him every night. He's a sight we will remember forever. I cry every time he weeps. I smile upon every glimpse of his laughter. I hear the shatters of his heart, every time someone disowns him from their life. I believe him to be this real. He makes it some this real. And yet I let him down.
Last night he deserved to not be published in some messy and lengthy thread of mine. He deserved a fresh heading, a new page, a simple post. But his love made me selfish. His tears blinded my sight. I made a blunder.
His acting is no pawn which can be used for my personal entertainment. My thread is no highlight of his performance. His performance lights up my thread.
But I wish to revise that now. I wish to amend my mistake. I wish to apologise to him for my betrayal.
As yesterday was just the start. Today we will see the remaining. We will once again witness his perfectness. His excellence for what he does best. His love. Acting. And tonight. I will make it a point to shower him with what he deserves. Tonight he will shine on our screen once again. And tonight, my post to him, my appreciation for him, my admiration for him will be narrated on a brand new page. Not the old, lost, scribbled pages of my thread.
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
Health and Fitness
Arjun
