Hi guys! Here is a small diary entry of Asad from the past...sometime before Mangalpur. Enjoy! :)
****
This is becoming a very serious problem. I can't concentrate even for a moment. In board meetings, when I am working, sitting or sleeping...every time, I end up thinking of her. I have tried my best to stop this, but i just can't. I can't throw her outta my head.I wonder how I can feel so deeply for her. She is the total opposite of the kind of people I like. She has all the qualities I detest. Her mere presence is irritating enough, and when she opens that obnoxious mouth of hers...I do get a headache...okay, almost a headache! But the point is...why do I still feel this attraction towards her? Is it because she is so pretty? That's so...weird. I have never been attracted to a girl my whole life...and I have come across many pretty ones. No doubt it's super annoying when she argues with me, but then I also feel this strong urge to shut her up with a kiss. Why? Carrying her in my arms...it makes me feel so good. Those beautiful eyes...I actually get lost out there. And the tiny,petite and gorgeous figure she is, I wanna lock her in my arms and never let go. I wanna do things to her, things I can't describe! What's wrong with me? I feel like a creepy pervert. She would be shocked out of her wits if she found out about this. May be she would shut up for few seconds then. Arghh I think i am going mad. She is driving me mad.
You know what, I haven't opened up to anyone like I have to you...I have never felt like it only. I have always known that nobody would understand ever...except for now. I know she would understand. And care. And I want her to! I want to open up to her. I want her to know the person I really am. I want her to know my darkest secrets, and I want her to see that I am more than the judgemental akdu she thinks I am.
But you know...in spite of this, I feel this inferiority complex kind of thing. It's like she interacts with people so easily, she is so friendly, and modern...and then there is me. I can't socialize well, I'm not friendly and I'm definitely not modern. And she must be having this huge bunch of friends and everything whereas I am basically a loner. It would never work out. I would never be fully comfortable, and nor would she be satisfied. She would probably get bored in some time because my life is so 'boring' and she wants to have a very 'happening' life. I just feel a little bad. She wants her Prince Charming to come in a white horse and sweep her off her feet. (She is such a kid!) She expects all the romantic stuff from her partner, things which I can never do. I wish I were up to her level. Had my past been different, perhaps I would have been her ideal guy too. May be then I would have had her.
Well Asad there is no use lamenting over that. What's gone is gone. Your past isn't gonna change. And there is nothing wrong with the way you are. And her...don't let her get to you. You are the most successful businessman and bachelor of Bhopal, people respect you. Your Ammi and Tamatar...and Ayan love you more than anything. What more do you need? Be happy with this. Remember many people don't have this privilege also.
And about Zoya...it is never gonna work out between you two, okay? And you know that. She is not your type. You are not her type. You can never be happy together. So stop dreaming, accept the truth and move on. And really, concentrate on your work. It's much more important and all your employees and their families are dependent on it. So please...behave like a sane person. I know it hurts, but you have to be strong. There is no other way.
P.S. Did I tell you that she never fails to surprise me? And that she is the most selfless, caring, smart, beautiful, adorable, annoying, messy, childish, stupid and foolish girl in the world?
I am so doomed -_- Let's make a resolution. Starting from now, let's work on avoiding her. If I don't see her, I would eventually stop thinking about her.
Great idea. You are great Asad!
Why the hell am I talking like her?
Oh come on Asad, everyone does that. Don't forget your mission.
Yes. Ya...let's not talk think of her.
Now I am gonna go get some sleep.
Thanks for listening.
Goodnight.
****
A/N - Too lame? Well I don't feel like studying. And I still wonder about how things changed for both of them, and how they thought of it...so there you go.
I am afraid I can't say anything about when I am gonna update. I will try my best to update ASAP. Till then, enjoy this 😊
Preeti 🤗
P.S. No PMs sent as of now.
comment:
p_commentcount