reswa. 😲
unres-ing, issi saal mein, congrats to me and you and everyone around. 😆
Kishwa! How I love the detail you draw in, the dimensions you add. You took that one incident and so neatly tied in his insecurity, authority and position in the family business or lack thereof, jealousy, Priyom, and her silence. It was breathtaking.
This line especially:
Priyom was the blessed child of lady luck. She was always smiling down on him favorably just like all ladies do. Him. He have always had to work hard. Yearn for oppurtunities. Maybe lady luck was repulsed by him. Afterall that seems to be his talent. Scaring girls off.
Oh, how I loved this line.
And then more followed:
For a moment everything was still. His vision went dark, his mind refusing to acknowledge that anyone could dare.
Nobody could.
Nobody would.
Nobody should.
The sheer disbelief. The impossibility of it. Ah!
And my personal favourite:
And then everything was red. He had always balanced precariously on the edge of insanity and humanity and now he was falling. Letting the insanity consume him. Letting the last dredges of humanity slip away. He let the bloodlust consume him and take hold of him.
The balance between insanity and humanity? Brilliant stroke. I'm so tempted to take it and run away with it. Explore that dark tiny space. Ah, I might steal that idea in the future, just a heads up Kish!
There is more (I realise at this point, I have quoted almost all of your write up, but I can't help it!)
Priyom who was granted with the privilege of hearing her voice. But now there are others. They made her sing. The girl who have not even been able to form a coherent sentence in front of him. They listened to her voice.
Ah, that bit. It's true isn't it? Those strangers are luckier than he is. Why is everyone more favoured then him? Where has he gone wrong? What's his sin? Why is he constantly punished?
Also, I can see this happening. This right here:
Maybe...just maybe she could take the edge off of the insanity. And maybe he could rein himself in enough to not kill them. He must find her.
She must be near him. He was burning. He needed to calm down. Calm down enough to maim them. But not kill them.
If only she knew. If only she understood this. But she doesn't and can't. She probabily thinks he took her along to show her what happens when people get close to her, not to reign him in, the way her soft silent presence just naturally does. She's the most human thing about him but alas, she may never find out.
This was brilliant Kishi. I seriously can't wait for you to give us more! I want to take a moment to thank Begu Sarai team for getting amazing writers back from their self-imposed hiatus.
Jai ho Begu Sarai ki!
Edited by Couch_Potato - 10 years ago