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Chapter 5
Ranveer dropped Ishani home and moved towards his own in the dark. The ghosts of the memories that he never let surface in his heart had erupted tonight when he saw those tears in Ishaani's eyes that told she was in pain and had no comfort anymore. Her father, who remained her greatest support and had her taught to face the world, had passed away, leaving her in the cruel world to fight her own battles alone. He often wondered why things never got easier for Ishani, why she always remained in sadness, why everyone rejected her, taunted her, punished her for the mistakes she never made. He still blamed himself for making her fall in love with Chirag for he knew Chirag never wanted to marry her; and would reject her once he got the property that Ishani possessed.
Ranveer had loved Ishani since he was 9 years old. He had not known what this feeling was, all he knew was that Ishani was the reason he would wake up every morning. She was the reason he would endure everything; and without any utterance he would fight anything as long as she was with him. But two years back everything had changed: a false accusation had cost him his entire life. He still remembered Ishani, his Mota Babuji, Disha, Baa, Falguni Maa and his own parents, and his world melting away with every moment passing. Disha's accusation that he tried raping her and everyone he had loved turning their faces away had taken everything from him. He still remembered Ishani losing her trust on him as she had walked away from there without listening to him or saying a word. He knew the day she would find out about his feelings, he would lose her forever; and that was what had happened that night. He had lost Ishani.
His mother told him, warned him how Ishani was going to destroy him one day, but he would never listen to her, for his love for Ishani completed him. He loved her although she was never going to return that affection. Loving Ishani, indeed, had destroyed him in the worst way possible: He could neither die after that night and nor he remained alive. He could neither love her anymore and nor he was courageous enough to hate her more than he had pretended to; for hating her was beyond his abilities and loving her anymore was beyond his sensibilities. Although the destruction was not pleasant, it had turned him into what he never imagined himself to be: he had risen like a phoenix from his own ashes. RV had born from the ashes from Ranveer.
How much he had wished, hoped to see Ishani once again in his life and let her know he didn't care about her anymore. So many times he would believe her presence would not matter him at all because he had learnt to live without her. He had thought countless of times before that he would never be affected by her love for Chirag. Was this all true when it had happened? Each fabric of Ranveer's universe screamed in unison, "No!"
His heart still skipped at her appearance in meeting hall, his breathing again stopped for a moment when he saw her, his heart again was crushed seeing her in pain. And this was it. The love that defined him was still there; only it was crushed beneath the innumerable layers of lies, smiles, hatred and pain that had lingered there after his departure from the Parekh Mansion. A grieving feeling had stung him when he saw the engagement ring in her finger. Tonight her tears had again opened that void within him that he had filled with loneliness, anger and pain so that no one finds a way to him anymore. He tried hard not to shed a single tear on the feelings that needed to be killed once again because Ishani was not going to listen to him, know of his love or accept it. Still a thought struck his mind: "May be Ishani falls in love with me, and decides never to go away."
"What the hell!" he shouted, almost scolding himself. "Why would she fall in love with me? It was me who made her love Chirag and she is still engaged to him. Once her work is done, she will go back to India. That's where she thinks her life is. Not here. No."
Ranveer knew very well no one could love Ishani more than he had, but now even their friendship, the basis of his love, was tainted by the events. Ishani herself had snatched all the rights of being a friend from him the day she had announced her love for Chirag. Ranveer shuddered. The feelings he had had for Ishani still haunted him, made him vulnerable of the worst kind.
Amidst these endless thoughts Ranveer noticed a familiar view that being of his house. His car halted at the gates, and being opened, he entered them. The house he lived in was a lonely place and it most often gave him some eerie feelings. He hardly stayed there, being out for the business meetings nearly everyday. Ranveer entered his room, switched on the lights, and moved towards the window. It was ridiculously cold. The thoughts still felt as vivid to him as they had when he was with Ishani few hours back. Her tears, her smiles, her every gesture still made him feel nothing had altered and the passing moments will change things for better.
"Ranveer," a voice came from behind, breaking the sequence of emotions running within him.
He turned around and saw his father was standing there with a hint of frown on his face.
"You must be asleep by now, Baba," he said.
"Yes, but I had something to ask- or say tell- you," his father said solemnly.
Ranveer kept quiet. His father said, "Today Mr. Zaveri said something, didn't he?"
"Yes, he did," Ranveer returned, rather annoyed.
"What did you do?"
"I rejected his offer."
"That was a proposal, Ranveer!" his father said, "What's wrong in that?"
"Baba, what is right in what he said?"
"He wanted his daughter to marry you. You must move on in this moment of life."
"C'mon, Baba. It's not possible."
"Do you still think Ishani will come back to you and marry you just because she is here in London and you're helping her out?" his father said little kindly, "you know very well that is not possible."
"No, Baba. I know that, but I don't want to marry. I'll never justify the relationship I will be in. Ishani was a dream that could never come true, but, Baba, why should I make someone else suffer for me?" Ranveer said trying to sound not very rude.
"But..."
"Baba, it's late. Please," Ranveer requested.
"Think of your mother once."
"Baba, I know why Maa is upset. For me. But as long as you two are with me, I'll never be alone. All I need is you two."
Ranveer's father knew it was no use in arguing with him anymore for he never agreed to move on despite continuous efforts of them both, his parents. They knew their son had a bright life ahead but it was eternally dark without the one he had loved: Ishani.
Before going away finally his father turned again and asked, "Is everything all right?"
"Yes," Ranveer said trying to smile a bit.
"Okay. But take care," saying this, his father left the room.
Ranveer looked out of the window. The stars were still burning in the sky with dull golden light like his own heart; and with the dawn being near the stars were promised a comfort for a while. He came to the bed wishing the same comfort for a while.
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