Posted:
Came here to read updates but this post is more worth reading than any other here. TM, i can feel empathy with you. Thank u everyone for sharing ur past experiences be it the true face of discrimination or equal gender family. The girls who faced gender bias in families must actually fight against such narrow minded ppl in society and the family who give equal value to both genders must show it's greatness to such biasing ppl.
I myself faced it right when my mother disliked when i was born to her, she wanted a male child. They didn't even take me into their hands and it's my uncle who took me into his hands and he said it few yrs back. My father later wished for a son..as his heir.( Why can't i be?) Even when both are highly educated. Came to know this later and got deeply hurt. Ofcourse they loved me as iam their (only) child. (or may be 'coz it is their responsibility)...but i love them truly for they are my parents who brought me into this world and they are good in every other thing..but other than that i used to calm myself thinking iam God's child and they just helped him by bringing me here. That thought used to give me more happiness than the material pleasures they tried to give me.
My mother used to shut the door when i just used to come one hour late on saturdays after playing with my friends..bcoz girls should not come home late. But my cousins are always free. I know it is also a safety issue but i was mature enough to deal with it and even she knew that i was with my frnds in a safe area. Even my father used to beat me for that. They used to take my pocket money and buy gifts for their nephews be it shirts or games or whatever when that money was meant for my dress. They always used to tell them u r sons for us as we have no son right infront of me.. They never said u r both daughter and son for us. Again i don't want to be son..iam happy that iam a girl esp. after seeing how lazy and undisciplined my male cousins turned into.
Even my grand parents have this bias. My maternal grand parents love my cousins more as they are sons of their son while iam daughter of their daughter.
And then my paternal grand parents who live in village name bunch of things on my manners and behavior when iam pretty normal..not any show - off case. They say several things. Don't stretch legs like that, you are a girl. Why didn't you wear bindi..you are a(n) (south) indian girl. I do what iam comfortable with yet i know i didn't break any law or did any wrong thing which angers God..who are they to say me those things or judge my character by such small things. I used to say the same to them. These are all may be small incidents but they used to hurt me so much..even now when i remember them.
I think this serial serves as a mirror to the society where son or male cousin is treated superior than girl which is absolutely wrong. I also hate when i watch in some shows or movies that the parents get relieved and say thanks to God when doctor/ nurse says "congrats! you gave birth to a male child" ! How stupid it is! If there is no girl, how can a boy be? Is girl only meant for pleasure, for giving heir and for household work? Every girl is indeed a form of Mahalaxmi for that house. The family has to respect her, treat her like a goddess or atleast try to be normal instead of saying such ill words. The reason for such bias may be anything, like ''son brings money, daughter takes away money''..there r still such practices like dowry in some places again as much evil as this gender discrimination or supremacy of male child or female infanticide. Even if it is that safety for girls is less..they have to fight for it too instead of wishing for son. In my case it might be the pride issue for my parents..i don't get y having son but not daughter is a pride?
I also met with these rouges who used to tease me on roads when i used to help old women cross roads or when iam alone walking or with only one frnd..and i used to give them such lengthy speech(just like i've been doing now!) that they used to say sorry and go away as fast as they cud..i know they don't change but atleast i stood for myself..and that is wat i want and i like from me.
So, TM and others show the power of a girl/woman/female to the world and dare to speak against such ppl.
Now iam 21, highly in depression after my father's death..so i set my goals for 3 yrs..and only plan for marriage after 24..and then when i give birth to son..i shall say him to respect the girls around him and they are not any week but inspiring form of strength and to my daughter to stand up for herself and that she is not less from anyone but has to be inspiration and justice for females.
Sorry if i made this thread more serious..i went more emotional. I just vented out all my feelings here..a sigh of relief.
I myself faced it right when my mother disliked when i was born to her, she wanted a male child. They didn't even take me into their hands and it's my uncle who took me into his hands and he said it few yrs back. My father later wished for a son..as his heir.( Why can't i be?) Even when both are highly educated. Came to know this later and got deeply hurt. Ofcourse they loved me as iam their (only) child. (or may be 'coz it is their responsibility)...but i love them truly for they are my parents who brought me into this world and they are good in every other thing..but other than that i used to calm myself thinking iam God's child and they just helped him by bringing me here. That thought used to give me more happiness than the material pleasures they tried to give me.
My mother used to shut the door when i just used to come one hour late on saturdays after playing with my friends..bcoz girls should not come home late. But my cousins are always free. I know it is also a safety issue but i was mature enough to deal with it and even she knew that i was with my frnds in a safe area. Even my father used to beat me for that. They used to take my pocket money and buy gifts for their nephews be it shirts or games or whatever when that money was meant for my dress. They always used to tell them u r sons for us as we have no son right infront of me.. They never said u r both daughter and son for us. Again i don't want to be son..iam happy that iam a girl esp. after seeing how lazy and undisciplined my male cousins turned into.
Even my grand parents have this bias. My maternal grand parents love my cousins more as they are sons of their son while iam daughter of their daughter.
And then my paternal grand parents who live in village name bunch of things on my manners and behavior when iam pretty normal..not any show - off case. They say several things. Don't stretch legs like that, you are a girl. Why didn't you wear bindi..you are a(n) (south) indian girl. I do what iam comfortable with yet i know i didn't break any law or did any wrong thing which angers God..who are they to say me those things or judge my character by such small things. I used to say the same to them. These are all may be small incidents but they used to hurt me so much..even now when i remember them.
I think this serial serves as a mirror to the society where son or male cousin is treated superior than girl which is absolutely wrong. I also hate when i watch in some shows or movies that the parents get relieved and say thanks to God when doctor/ nurse says "congrats! you gave birth to a male child" ! How stupid it is! If there is no girl, how can a boy be? Is girl only meant for pleasure, for giving heir and for household work? Every girl is indeed a form of Mahalaxmi for that house. The family has to respect her, treat her like a goddess or atleast try to be normal instead of saying such ill words. The reason for such bias may be anything, like ''son brings money, daughter takes away money''..there r still such practices like dowry in some places again as much evil as this gender discrimination or supremacy of male child or female infanticide. Even if it is that safety for girls is less..they have to fight for it too instead of wishing for son. In my case it might be the pride issue for my parents..i don't get y having son but not daughter is a pride?
I also met with these rouges who used to tease me on roads when i used to help old women cross roads or when iam alone walking or with only one frnd..and i used to give them such lengthy speech(just like i've been doing now!) that they used to say sorry and go away as fast as they cud..i know they don't change but atleast i stood for myself..and that is wat i want and i like from me.
So, TM and others show the power of a girl/woman/female to the world and dare to speak against such ppl.
Now iam 21, highly in depression after my father's death..so i set my goals for 3 yrs..and only plan for marriage after 24..and then when i give birth to son..i shall say him to respect the girls around him and they are not any week but inspiring form of strength and to my daughter to stand up for herself and that she is not less from anyone but has to be inspiration and justice for females.
Sorry if i made this thread more serious..i went more emotional. I just vented out all my feelings here..a sigh of relief.
Anupamaa
Jhanak
Ufff Yeh Love Hai Mushkil
