#4 Ashlok Dark FF - My Ransacked Heart/ UPDATED/ Chapter 55/ (Pg-147) - Page 42

Cracked Apart

Metal bars of your eyebrows
Camera lens of your eyes
Your hands are my prison
Whatever it is 'unexcusable' reason

Your dark brown eagle eyes
Always on me to analyze
Every move I make
Every breath I take

From your metal bars I relax
How deceiving it is
Melted by your gaze
Then frozen like a wax

Ghostly arms open wide and beyond
Your sight stretches far and wide
My arms and legs tangled in the ground
Forbidding me to socialize and surround

Words and melodies cannot escape
Actions I want , forbid to create
Forever wrap in your possessive cape
Now, beware for I'm the monster that you create

Maybe I don't cry but it hurts ~ maybe I won't say but I feel ~ maybe I don't show but I care ~

"I don't want to live with you anymore", a woman spoke sharply. "So soon you changed your tune, where was the vow of living with me till death do us apart", he taunted, but his words were underlined with a deep hurt. "That I said in the heat of the moment", she waved her hand carelessly, while throwing her things in her suitcase.

"What more did you said in the heat of the moment?", his lips curled savagely. "Did you say I love you Shlok in the heat of the moment too", he added distastefully. "I may have", she avoided his eyes.

"And the care and the love what was that all, was it a drama for my benefit, was it fake, tell me damn it woman", he snatched her clothes from her hand and hurled them away in the corner.

"How dare you, that was my saint Laurent gown?", she shouted at him, her eyes shooting angry sparks at him. "So I guess, my feelings were less then that gown", a bitter mocking smile curved his lips and he drew his hold from her arms.

"How can you talk about care It was me who took pity on your disheveled state, brought you here from the gutter where you resided and now you dare to show your ungratefulness to me you b*****d", she angrily shook out the perfectly groomed hair from her eyes.

"So you did all in pity, not love", disbelief had now laced his voice. "Yes it was all in pity and guess what I liked to try new variety and for once I wanted a scarred monster to feel how it would be with him", she threw a barb at him turning away from him to throw all of her things back in the suitcase, ignoring a five years old child that stood nearby clutching a teddy bear in his arms and looking fearfully at the two adults.

"You are not taking him away with you", he pointed towards the child and declared in a calm tone. By then he had masked all of his features in a cold mask. "Who cares about the brat, keep it with you as the payment for your precious time that you wasted with me and the gifts too that I bought for you", she taunted while dragging the suitcase off the bed.

"Mommy please don't leave the child", the child came into action tugging at her hand. "Leave me be you are spoiling my manicure", she angrily snatched her hand away and headed towards the door, dragging the suitcase behind her.

"On second thoughts why should I leave the house it's mine, you should be the one to leave it", she had halted at the door. "Very kind of you to remind me, guess what i was going to say the same thing how our mind matches darling", he mocked in a bitter tone."Get out", she swung towards him and pointed towards the door.

"Son come here our time is over here", Shlok said bitterly and then lifting the child in his arms swung towards the door. "Daddy I want mommy too", he pleaded.

"Listen to me carefully son, in this world everything can be bought or sold and everything has it's price even emotions and affections. People do something for you because they want something from you, and those who show gratitude to you are infact thankful towards what you have done for them not for you", his last words were the parting shot for her, uttered for her benefit before he strode out of the room with the struggling and screaming child in his arms whose innocent and tiny mind couldn't understand what had happened...

Loving really hurts but it is agony if you get pity in return for your love...

"I am really thankful to you", Astha swallowed as a salty ball seemed to get stuck in her throat, her heart was brimming with a painful emotion. Life had brought her to the point, where she was happy that her mother was alive if she still was on the bed and living a life of a handicapped...

"Tuh tuh only thanks princess", his taunt was underlined with a hint of anger. Why was he angry? She should be the one feeling angry at him and at her fate which had reduced her to this helpless state that she was ready to accept everything that life was throwing at her.

"What do you want more that you haven't already gotten from me?", she asked bitterly as her heart screamed her silent love at him. "You know very well what I want princess", he lifted one suggestive eyebrow.

"Yes I know, everything has its price and you want yours", she shook her head bitterly. "Well done princess, you are truly growing up atlast, you are right everything has its price and I want mine now", he whistled softly in mock appreciation.

A wave of extreme anger broke all over it. Love makes you powerful but at the same time it makes you the weakest person in the world. She wanted to hurt him as he was hurting her with his taunts and insults, wanted to beat at his chest, rake him with her nails so that he would take back his offensive words.

"Okay I am ready how should I pay you master, here with a quickie on the bed, nah too much sophisticated for you tastes", Astha turned towards the bed and angrily pointed towards it to emphasize her point. He had grown motionless and was now watching her with narrowed eyes.

"Or how about on the carpet, but Oh I totally forgot we have already done that and you probably don't like repetitions do you", she continued with her taunts, while angry blood roared in her ears. Shlok folded his arms across his chest and watched her calmly through amused eyes.

"Or how about against the wall or on a table", she angrily kicked the side table and hurt her toe in the process. "Damn you", she shrieked painfully and sat heavily on the bed to examine her toe which was throbbing painfully. "I take back my words princess, after seeing your childish tirade I can only say that you haven't grown up an iota", he sighed unfolding his arms from his chest.

"What do you mean", she jerked her head towards him and threw a glare at his aesthetically handsome face and sardonically smiling lips. "I mean I only wanted a thank you kiss princess but I must say that your mind runs even faster than me in suggestiveness, you jumped to conclusions before I could say something", he threw an amused glance at her.

Her mind fell open at his outrageous remarks. "But if I can get all just for showing a video to you then I'll be very delighted to follow all the positions that you've just mentioned", he wriggled his eyebrows and with a clear lecherous intent started to move towards her.

A wave of embarrassment and shame hit her as her heart started beating erratically at his nearness. She felt too much raw and painful at her newfound knowledge that she had misunderstood him.

But he was so rude and complicated and far too older and mature then her that she was always left to flounder before him. However she tried to make him feel her love and car she was never going to win, she thought tiredly and that made her snap at last like a stretched elastic and utter those destructive words that she regretted later...

"My my then my technique must be really good for you, that you want more", she snapped. "Or maybe you've got nothing to compare it with that's why you want it", she lashed bitterly, with all of her love, anger, pain and in the shape of poisonous words that fell heedlessly from her tongue. He halted in his tracks and the amused expression completely wiped off from his face.

"Tuh, tuh Poor Shlokie boy, couldn't compare the past escapades with my technique and who can blame him after servicing so many men and women it must be really confusing for him to select the best one", she was helpless to stop the angry and bitter torrent of the words that were pouring out from her mouth, brought on by her helpless love and deep buried pain.

So she lifted the anchor from her stormy emotions and they came forth falling on him like blows as the growing disbelief on his face showed their effect...

The ice man did really had human emotions in his heart, as much as he tried not to show them to her and that stopped her verbal onslaught right in her tracks. She stared at him with growing horror as his face expressed a multitude of changing expressions first angry disbelief, then agonized hurt and in the last a calm acceptance.

"Just as I thought princess", he answered calmly but she could feel him belying the hurt with his coldness. Oh god what she had done, she thought miserably. "You are still a child however much you try to understand", he shook his head in a disappointing movement.

She watched him through tear-filled eyes as he swung away from her and headed towards the door. "Thanks princess", he gave a parting shot in a mocking voice and then opening the door went outside taking everything with him her heart and her love. The closing sound of the door sounded ominous in the silence. "Shlok,", she whispered feeling stifled as if he had taken her last breath with him and maybe he had...

"No Shlok, no Shlok", her motionless body came back into life and jerking open the door of the room she ran behind him. "Come back Shlok, I didn't mean it, please come back", she screamed at the top of her lungs as she galloped across the corridor and then down the stairs.

But he was nowhere to be seen. God it felt as if he had vanished in the thin air, she thought pausing to take a breath. "Mam, what happened", a harassed looking maid hurried towards her, she was one of them who had looked peeked inside the room.

"Tell me where is Shlok", she wheezed. "But mam no one is allowed...", she broke off as a an almost insane looking Astha grabbed at her arms. "Tell me at once where he is", she shook her hard, looking like a lunatic. "Mam in the study", she gulped as she saw her swelling with rage and a desperate maniacal light beginning to glow in her eyes.

"Damn you tell me where the study is?", she dug her finger nails in the poor maid's arms. "There, the third room to the right", the frightened maid pointed towards the left corridor, indicating the study...

Astha pushed the maid away who scampered off at once like a frightened dear muttering fearfully under her breath words that sounded suspiciously like "strange alikeness, lunatic for a lunatic, match made in hell".

Astha completely ignored her and hurried towards the study. She paused behind the door and took a deep breath to gather her courage. Come hell or high water she would ask for his forgiveness and make him understand, she thought and then pushed at the door which opened with a creaking sound.

Inside the study was lit with the sunlight pouring from the windows on the left and Shlok was standing before it gazing outside at God knows what. He was too much lost in his thoughts to notice her presence unlike before when he had spoken up at her slightest movement.

His one hand was in his pocket and in the other hand he was holding a smoking cigarette. On a close scrutiny she noticed that the blazing cigarette had fast demolished but he was still standing there unaware of the burning pain that his hand would soon encounter when the smoking cigarette would reach his fingers...

Without thinking twice she hurried towards him and reaching for his right hand took out the loosely held cigarette and threw it on the ash holder lying nearby on table. Startled, he turned towards her. "What the heck are you doing?", he said angrily, his eyebrows drawing into a frown.

"Your hand was going to burn", she said quietly. "Why the hell do you care princess?", he sneered. "I don't, if it had been anyone in your place I would have done the same for him", she said calmly. "Ah so now the princess's heart is really a caring one", he said scornfully...

"Okay I guess you don't need it, but will it help you if I was uncaring", she put her hands up to emphasize her point. "Yes it would help me if you were uncaring just liked you showed upstairs not so long ago", he snarled slashing at the air with his hand.

She had hurt him really bad and God forgive her she had to do it again to get her point across his thick skull, she prayed for salvation as she picked up the still smoldering butt of cigarette. "Okay my fault, you want an uncaring me, fine then here it is I am uncaring my care", she answered coldly belying the burning pain in her hand from the still lit cigarette and pressed it into his hand...

"Ouch, woman are you crazy?", Shlok shouted and jerked away, waving his hand in the air to cool the burning pain. "Why are you asking that? You wanted an uncaring me, so you got it", she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and left her hold on the smoldering cigarette which fell down from her nerveless fingers. Before she could act he stubbed it out with the toe of his shoe, scattering ash all over the carpet.

They both were silent for a while before she slowly moved close fist beneath his nose. "I wanted you to know that when we are uncaring of the hurt that we are inflicting on others, we still somehow get hurt by that other person's pain", she explained calmly to the man who had stilled and was staring transfixed at her hand. "If you'll hurt others you'll get hurt too", she said opening her fingers to show the red patch on her palm. "I hurt you so I got hurt in the process", she whispered...

Shlok sucked in a breath at seeing her red palm. Her hand must have burned while she had picked up the smoldering butt of cigarette to press it into his hand...

Without uttering a word he turned on his heels and went towards his desk, opened the last drawer, took out a first-aid box from it and extended it towards her. "For your burn", he answered to her questioning gaze. "No first you, give me your hand", she extended a hand towards him.

"Take the first-aid box and leave princess, I simply don't want your pity", he put the box hard on the desk infront of her. "I am not pitying you just asking you to let me put balm on the burn", she said quietly. "I can manage princess and I would like it if you quit the mother Teresa act, I've seen you in action today and I know how much do you care", he stated in a bitter voice.

"So do you want me to put another wound on you before you'll let me put balm on that burn", she threatened him. He threw a quizzical glance at her before he turned away without a word and headed towards the window to stand before it again. He is dismissing me, she thought miserably. "I am sorry", she addressed him in a subdued voice. "Don't try to understand princess what you are unable to understand", he said tiredly.

Her lower lip quivering like a child's and her heart heavy with unshed tears she pattered towards him and without pausing to think twice slid her arms around his waist, hugging him from the back. His whole body stiffened for a second then relaxed in her grip...

"I love you Shlok", she whispered while silent tears fell from her eyes, soaking the material of his shirt...

Shlok felt a fissure running down from his hairline till the tip of his feet and cracking his heart apart...

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