FF: Forever and Always........THREAD 3 updated pt 58/pg 130 - Page 17

Part 46

Maan was really anguished. He always believed that he was the reason Armaan died. But today, it was as if his beliefs were strengthened by the accusations of others. He still was reminded of the last time he had ever got the chance to speak with his baby brother...

Maan was at Chennai for finalizing one of his hotel deals. He wanted to meet with his brother Armaan and have a blast or something...but the deal had taken all of his time. Armaan was scheduled to leave for Bangalore that evening via flight along with his college mates. Armaan was whinning and cribbing about them not meeting.

Armaan:" Bhai, you cannot do that... I want to meet with you. "

Maan:" You know Amy, we can't meet. You are leaving for your quiz competition in an hour."

Armaan:"Bhai, please na... I can go with you tomorrow. You are chartering a plane tomorrow to Bangalore anyway."

Maan:" And you would be missing out on the fun! Going together you will enjoy soo much Amy. And moreover you know with these deals. I might get late... see you have to be there at the time of reporting so I am telling. Don't you think I feel bad that I won't be able to meet you?"

Armaan:" Fine..."

Maan:" Armaan!! I know you are upset but try to understand my situation... I am missing you as much Amy..."

Armaan:" Bhai, I know you. You always taught me to keep myself in other's shoes so I can understand their situation better. It's just... I don't know why but I feel like... I am nervous bhai. What if I can't perform or something? I knew having a hug from you would boost me a lot."

Maan:" Armaan Singh Khurana!! You are not going to fail. You are brave, strong, honest, and compassionate and the best baby brother I could have asked for. Don't ever think negative. You will be doing great."

Armaan:" Bhai, you are awesome. I had always wanted to tell you this but never got the chance. Thank you for everything Bhai. You left your passion for our family. Dev Bhai, Annie di and me, we all knew how much it took of you to do that. You might have been my elder brother but for me you will always be next to papa. In fact Papa and I hardly had times to do all those father son things. Thank you bhai, for everything. I love you so much bhai."

Maan:" Why are you being soo emotional Amy? Is something wrong?"

Armaan:" No. I just had a feeling I should tell you all these. I mean I wanted to tell this for so long. "

Maan:" I love you too Amy. You are my strength, you are the reason I stayed strong and didn't break down after mom and dad's... I don't think I could have moved on if not for you..."

Armaan:" Bhai, I need to go. She is going to come and we are going to leave for the airport together."

Maan:" You never said that your girlfriend is going with you for the quiz competition."

Armaan:" Oh no! She just wanted to see me off. I mean she is already cribbing about missing me."

Maan:"So when are we going to meet this lady you had been talking about for years now?"

Armaan:" Arey bhai, she doesn't even know that I am a khurana. And guess what, she is a big fan of daadi's. She knows more about daadi's paintings than me...her grandson. You know it's her dream to receive an award from daadi's hands. She is just soo... I love her soo much bhai."

Maan:" You should tell her about your family..."

Armaan:" Actually family is a sore topic for her bhai so I tend to avoid talking about how happy mine is. She is fragile bhai and I feel fiercely protective about her. I will tell her everything now that we are in college... bhai I hope she forgives me for hiding so much about my family."

Maan:" If she loves you like you claim she does, she will find within her the strength to forgive you."

Armaan:" Thanks bhai."

Maan:" You never said her name even?"

Armaan:" She doesn't know anything about my family so why should you guys know about her? At least you know about her. Daadi or anyone else does not even know that I have a girlfriend... Anyway I have written everything about her in my diary. All you have to do is just sneak a pick."

Maan:" You know Amy I don't intrude someone's personal space. I will wait for you to come back. I am sure she is someone really special if you love her so much."

Armaan:" She is bhai. So much that I feel what she would do if I have to leave for days or something..."

Maan:" Don't worry so much Amy. You both are studing in the same college. And once she meets our family she would be welcomed in the family with open arms. We all will take care of her as our own until you will be back in case there will be some reason you have to go somewhere.."

Armaan:" Love you bhai! So we absolutely no chance I can go with you tomorrow morning?"

Maan:" Amy!! Please don't say like this. You know how difficult it is for me to say no to you. If not for the risk of getting you late I would have taken you with me..."

Armaan:" oh you are going to miss me Bhai and regret not listening to me...love you bhai, I am lucky to have you in my life..."

Maan:" Paagal! I love you too Amy. You are the reason I live baby brother... You make me so proud."

Maan had kept the phone and decided to hit the gym at the hotel. It was always refreshing. He loves exercising and he had been missing out on his gym times for the work pressure. He was just back after an hour or so when he felt his phone continuously ringing. He picked up to find Yash ringing. Why the hell will Yash be ringing now? Is Shalu on labour or something?

Maan:" hey Yash, what happened? Is everything fine with Adi and Shalu?"

Yash couldn't bring a voice to answer his querry. He sobbed out unable to speak. Maan was having an ominious feeling about everything.

Maan:" Yash, just tell me what is it? Why are you so badly shaken up?"

Yash:" Maan bhai...Maan Bhai...Armaan..."

Maan:" What happened to Armaan?"

Yash:" Armaan... Maan Bhai...his flight crashed...none survived... He is gone Maan bhai...forever"

Maan didn't hear anything else. He didn't even realize what happened until he felt tears rolling down from his eyes as he collapsed breaking down. Armaan was right. He is going to regret forcing Armaan on that flight till his last breath. He was the reason Armaan died...he was the reason for Armaan's untimely death... He sat there crying helplessly as his world, his reason to live; his baby brother he loved as if his son was no more... the flight crash didn't kill Armaan alone. It killed him as well.

Maan was not conscious where he was walking. He was perfect. Only his red rimmed eyes were the proof of the internal battle he was facing. Suddenly he realized where he was. He was at the lake side where he had met Geet almost a year ago.

Geet had stopped crying long back and was just sitting there. She hated how Maan still had this much effect on her that she could feel his presence just like that. She wiped off her eyes and turned back to face him. His red rimmed eyes, hunched back...it all screamed that he was in pain. The part of her that loved him wanted to rush to him and hug him and comfort him forgetting everything. But right now she did not want to be Maan's lover. Right now she is Armaan's lover.

Geet stoned her heart so that she can pretend that the broken man in front of him didn't affect her a bit.

Geet:" Why?"

Maan flinched a bit and controlled himself back. He had lost her forever. He just wanted to tell her his side of the story and then he would accept every punishment of hers.

Maan:" Mishty, let me explain..."

Geet:" Don't call me that..."

Maan:"Mis...Geet!"

Geet:" You lost any right you have over me the moment you decided that you would hide the fact that Armaan... Armaan was your brother."

Maan:" It wasn't intentional..."

Geet:" What do you mean?"

Maan:" I... It's not easy to explain things like this. Please come with me so that we can sit and talk."

Geet:" There's nothing left to talk. So how was the experience Mr. Khurana? Did you have fun courting the girl your brother dated? What was that, a charity project by the high and mighty Khuranas?"

Maan:" GEET! How can you think so low about me let alone yourself?"

Geet:" Don't raise your voice at me Mr. Khurana. You don't have any right over me. So tell me, why did you do it?"

Maan:" It's not something I can explain in two sentences Geet. It was not my fault..."

Geet:" It is your fault."

Maan:"I didn't know you were my brother's girlfriend when we met Geet."

Geet:" But you knew it afterwards. Why didn't you tell me then?"

Maan:" Because..."

Geet:" Because what Maan? You wanted to make fun of me or something? Were my emotions some sort of joke to you? Or was I the charity project?"

Maan:" I didn't tell you because I am the reason Armaan is no more here with you."

Geet:"Was I... WHAT?"

Maan broke down a bit as his look turned of that person who had nothing to live for and nothing to die for.

Maan:" I am the reason he died Geet..."

Geet:" What do you mean?"

Even while questioning Geet could see the conviction in his eyes. He truly believed that. If one thing she had knew about this man, that was, he was not telling a lie right now.

Geet:" How could you?"

Maan:" I ... He did not want to board the flight that evening Geet. He wanted to go with me the next day. I convinced him to go on that flight. I was the reason he took that flight. I was the reason he was killed. I don't expect you to forgive me for this. Heck, I can't even forgive myself."

Geet was shattered. It was like she was transported back to that hostel room where Meera was delivering the news of Armaan's demise. Armaan would have been alive; she would have got her happy ending if the man in front of her had not convinced Armaan to take that flight. Geet knew in the rational part of her brain that it was all destinies and Maan really is not at fault. But in that moment Geet was selfish. For years Geet had nothing but destiny to blame for Armaan's death. This was the first time she found a living breathing person to blame for everything; a person she could shout at and show anger upon and take out her years of buried aggression for Armaan's untimely death.

Geet:" How could you? You are the reason I lost Armaan. You killed him. And you had the guts to date me? I hate you Maan Singh Khurana. I hate you from the bottom of my heart."

Geet's words were last nails to Maan's coffin. He almost staggered back at the intensity of hatred. Maybe a part of his heart...a very small part had wished that Geet would say something to soothe his aching heart. He knew how much Geet forgiveness meant for him. But right now he was back in that hotel room once again and blaming himself for killing his brother.

Geet knew she was wrong but right now she didn't care. All she knew was that she had to leave from the vicinity of this man who is the reason Armaan was there on that flight. And yet she still felt his pain... love... Her love for this man was in conflict with her love for the Armaan.

Maan:" Geet, will you at least hear me out. You owe me at least that much."

The broken voice spoke of his breaking heart.

Geet:" I don't owe anything to you Maan. You are the reason I am here and alone. You know this place, this bloody place was the sanctuary for my and Armaan's memory. I used to feel him here. But now! I hate it that I can't even remember about this place without remembering our first meeting. Every memory of mine and Armaan is now tainted by your presence and I hate you for that..."

Maan:"Geet... "

Geet:" I am leaving Maan. I am leaving the job, the scholarship and everything else associated with you. I can't bear to be with you."

Maan:" You can't do that ... Trust me I didn't know about you being Armaan's girlfriend when we met. And then I could not confess well because... I was afraid...afraid of losing you."

Geet:" Too late Maan. You already lost me."

Maan:" Please Geet. Remember the time I helped you paint again... You promised me you would do any one thing I say. "

Geet:" Any promises between us are meaningless Maan."

Maan:" Please, give me one chance to explain. That's all I want. Just hear me out and I won't force you to stay. But please at least let me speak in my defence."

Geet took a deep sigh. She did not know why but she cannot break her promises to this man.

Geet:" I am not ready right now Maan. I just found out today that the guy who had been my best friend from fourth standard and had wanted to spend his life with me had not even trusted me enough to tell me his last name. And the guy who had been my friend for the past year, had helped me move on hid the fact that he was the brother of my dead lover. It's too much betrayal. I can't... I don't want to talk with you. Not now. I need time."

Maan:" How much time?"

Geet:" I don't know. It can be days, months or even years. I don't know when I will be ready to face you. But you are right. I owe you one. So I promise I will find you when I am ready to hear your side. But you owe me as well; two things actually. One for organizing the party and one for helping you paint."

Maan knew he would be a fool to give in. Whatever Geet might ask would be a price too costly for him to pay. But she was right. He owed her, and not for those help but because, he cannot not give her anything she asks of him directly.

Maan:" Yes I do. So what do you want?"

Geet looked straight into his eyes. His eyes that used to speak so much were closed down.

Geet:" You will let me go so I can sort myself out. You will not seek me out or try to follow me. You will not try to stop me for anything nor by any means may it be emotional blackmail or legal terms of the contract I signed with your company. You will set me free."

Maan took a deep breath and looked at her as if remembering her every features. Then he closed the distance between them and placed his lips on her and kissed her. The kiss spoke of his pain and the turmoil he was facing. He did not try to make her open her mouth or deepen the kiss, just lingered and kissed her with all his love. She did not respond, just stood their perplexed and fighting with the part of her that was dying to respond to his kiss.

He let go of her and took a step backward. He watched her once again without blinking and said softly," Just promise me you won't deny the scholarship. It was named after Amy... Armaan .Daadi had proposed this one when she came to visit and judge the painting competition you won. I have nothing to do with it. You would get it from your college so you won't even have to interact with me for this. I promise I won't come anywhere near you, you will never see this face unless you want to. Just don't deny what you have earned. "

Geet could feel him getting emotional. This was the first time she realized that he was the brother Armaan used to always speak so highly about. But she still needed time. She just shook her head and said," Okay I will keep my scholarship but if I ever find you following me or seeking me out I promise you will never get the chance to talk to me and explain me anything."

Maan:" I won't seek you out Geet. I promise. Stay safe and ... Just stay safe"

Geet:" Please explain Naina why I can't attend her marriage."

Maan:" Hmm."

Geet started leaving knowing maybe Maan won't be moving. She was almost out of earshot she heard him speak," He loved you truly. Never ever doubt that Geet. And even if you feel like I am lying to you I love you too... Be happy even if it is without me."

Geet could feel her tears rolling down as she left the lakeside which now held memories of both her lovers.