#3 Ashlok Dark FF - My Ransacked Heart/UPDATED/ Chapter 38 /(Pg-135) - Page 86

Point Of No Return

The path laid out ahead

is long and dark

but the path behind me

Is litered with rubbel

Smoke dots the horizon

Thick black smoke

billowing into the sky

marking the bridges I've burned

Alone and lost

no turning back

no place to call home

No other choice

but to trudge on ahead

Into the dark, into the void

Sometimes burning bridges isn't a bad thing ~ it prevents you from going back to a place ~ you should never have been to begin with ~

"Say that you love me", the man whispered in the ears of the boy, whose frozen body was lying beneath him like a marble statue. But the dilated pupils of the boy didn't show any sign of movement, they were dark lifeless pools, betraying no emotion whatsoever.

"Say that you love me you w***eson", the man panted, slapping his face. But only a tear leaked from the corner of the boy's eyes that betrayed his inner turmoil. "Say it boy", the man heaved against him.

Shlok gritted his teeth, with the gut wrenching pain tearing at his insides. He didn't want to say i love you, but the nausea was rousing in his throat due to the agonizing pain, that felt as if someone was cauterizing his internals.

"I love you", he whispered than shouted his love to him until the rafter's shook with his screams and when the man left him after satisfying himself he curled himself in the fetal position on the bed and cried, his torn and bloodied body shaking with his torment, his broken nailed fingers curling hopelessly in the sheets...

But that was the last time that he cried as a child of 12, he vowed never to cry again as he died everyday giving himself to numerous men and women. He had reached the point of no return...

Life had taught him that hope dies fast,when you get lost in the labyrinth of the world seeking for the thing that never ever existed in the first place...

Your identity loses fast, when you know in the end that you were fighting a losing battle, chasing behind the human emotions, asking for compassion, mercy, goodness of heart...

It was the myth that only existed in children books, taught at an early life when the mind is so innocent that it would even accept the bad deed as the good one...

Shlok Agnihotri was that myth, that goodness of the heart which had been shunned, rejected, refused at every turn by the world who had no desire to see the goodness that lay beyond his chest, in his god-fearing but bruised heart that bore the scars given to him by his childhood trauma...

Disappointed, feeling dejected his goodwill had went back to lie between the pages of that book which had taught him about the humanity and the goodness of heart and which no one had bothered to open...

And now it was lying there like a crushed rose, broken and decaying between the old and yellow pages...

Waiting silently for someone to open it again and want it back...

"What did you just say?", Astha asked as if she didn't believe her ears. Avdhoot's mouth was a soundless O, no sound was coming out of his throat.

"Oh please don't overreact as if you don't know anything", he left his hold on her arms and she had staggered back on jelly legs. "I asked you to be my mistress, in exchange for your mother's care, as simple as that what's difficult in it", he explained in a bored voice.

She lifted a trembling him and struck him hard across his face, leaving a red welt on his cheek from her ring. He had seen the slap coming but hadn't put any effort to stop her. Avdhoot gave a satisfied smirk at his daughter's act.

"How dare you?", her chest heaved angrily. He moved his face towards her again and surveyed her coolly from flinty eyes. Blood was beginning to well on his split lips. He lifted a finger and wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth than seeing it smeared across its tip he gave a twisted smile and sucked it clean off his finger...

"I think princess you are in no place to give me lecture on my morals and I dare because I have no qualms in asking this of you", his words effortlessly shut her mouth. "You are not human are you? ", she asked disgusted. "Correction princess, I am not a human anymore", his teeth flashed in a wolfish smile...

"There's no point in arguing with you is it, you both are like each other", she nodded her head to point towards Avdhoot. "Both monsters, using women to their own benefits", she said exhaustedly.

"Maybe but there is one problem in your statement, that i would like to correct", he smiled arrogantly. "Hmm let me think yes, one was a monster from the first , that is your saintly daddy, no one created him and the other one was the creation of the one before him, that is me, nice creation na", he cocked his head to the side and winked at her baffled expressions.

"You b***d", Avdhoot growled. "Now that is really a loving connection, one monster's heart calling another monster's heart", he cackled while Astha stared at him as if he had lost his mind. "I should have killed you than you mongrel, my mistake in thinking that you were already dead", Avdhoot bit out hoarsely.

"Ouch your loving words are really killing me", he put a hand to his chest and rolled his eyes, faking a swoon. Disbelief showed from her eyes. In one day pain had etched deep lines across her face and her body felt bruised battered like a boat being stuck in the eye of the storm and being hit by mile high waves...

Why people give birth to daughters if they don't respect womanhood, why they cherish and protect them while they are eyeing other men's daughters, oblivious of the fact that maybe at the same time some other man is eyeing their women. That's because for some of them woman is only a possession and for some an obsession, and that's what we do right we love our possessions in our own way...

Women are cursed from the start to suffer, even when the crime is committed by men. Be it in war or a duel, or be it in childbirth or of losing one's virginity only a woman is made to suffer alone and that a man can never understand. In the dark ages Arabs used to bury the child alive in dirt if it was a girl. But it was centuries ago, the world is changed of now. It uses more modern methods to bury the women, by killing her self-respect and pride, killing her mind and heart very efficiently...

The world has changed for men but the men hadn't changed an ounce for women. Behind the three piece suits beats the same primitive heart of a caveman. For women, the dangers and the fear are still there, for them nothing has changed, not the world not even men...

The 21^st century is still the dark ages, time has not moved at all...

"Princess snap out of it", Shlok clicked his fingers infront of her. She looked at him with blank eyes than at Avdhoot who was helplessly shaking his head. "What did you thought of it than, you know that you have no choice if you want to leave you are free to leave, I won't stop you", he face was showing a bored expression. "I haven't got all day so you could stand here like a dummy", he snapped, tapping at his wrist watch to emphasize his point...

"Daddy when I'll marry will you cry", she asked excitedly, jumping on her father's lap. "Ofcourse my princess I'll cry buckets of tears when your prince will come to take you away", Avdhoot tweaked playfully at her nose. "No daddy I don't want to go away from you, I'll ask the prince and we'll all stay together", she pouted.

"Princess that won't be possible see that's my home and your home will be with the prince, but I'll always be with you princess don't forget that", he explained affectionately. "No daddy I won't leave you ever, I'll not marry at all", she whinnied. "Okay my darling I'll not make you marry at all you may stay with us forever", he kissed her forehead and she hugged him happily that she won't lose him forever...

"Hello princess I am still waiting", he moved a hand infront of her eyes and the vision of happiness vanished from her memory, leaving her standing in her present and aware of the man asking her to take the biggest gamble of her life and who would decide the future of this game...

"Mommy I'll wear a beautiful red lehnga choli on my wedding just like aunt swati's daughter-in-law wore", a 17 year old Astha said to her mother. Excitement was buzzing from her every pore. "Ofcourse my daughter as you wish", kalindi answered gazing at her daughter with affectionate eyes.

"I have decided all that when I'll marry I'll design my own jewellery and bridal dress, hundreds of guest will come and the mandap would be decorated with my favourite flowers", she spread her arms dreamily already imagining herself in red bridal dress coming down from a sweeping staircase at the end of which her handsome prince charming was standing, staring at her with loving eyes and waiting for her to hold her hand...

"Oho my daughter I know you have gone very faraway so please come back in the real world", Kalindi laughed pinching her arm. "Ouch mommy", she jerked and frowned at her, but then after seeing the naughty glint in her mother's eyes she pouted than moved into her arms hugging her tightly in her arms...

"Asthu, beware the world that you dream of doesn't exist at all, I am afraid for you my doll", Kalindi's worried voice resonated in her chest. "Mommy I know it doesn't exist please do not be afraid for me I am a grownup now and can take care of my ownself", she soothed her and then nuzzled closer to her. "No my doll you do not understand at all", Kalindi whispered to Astha who had already closed her eyes...

"Princess we are not playing statute statue, I am telling you this for the hundredth time that you can leave if you want", his irritated voice started her out of her memories. There was no prince charming staring at her with loving eyes instead in his place was Shlok Agnihotri gazing at her with flinty eyes. She was wearing a red dress and loaded with jewellery but wasn't a bride, her father was there but he wasn't her father anymore, he was a stranger to whom she didn't know at all...

And there was no decorated mandap, in it's place was the dark and dank room which felt like her grave, encasing her lifeless form in it's embrace. Yes she was the dead bride, going towards it's doom, she was nothing, had no identity...

She was the bride giving herself to an ice prince, who would freeze her to death...

"I do", she whispered the oath like a bride who vows to be faithful to her husband on her wedding day.

"No", Avdhoot gasped painfully and a dark shadow moved across Shlok's face at her answer before he hid it effectively behind his cold mask...

"Say it again princess to my face", a satisfied smirk crossed his face.

"I accept your condition", she raised her eyes to his face and said it again a little firmly, burning all her boats behind...

She had reached the point of no return and now there was no turning back. The earth didn't stood still, the ice didn't crack and the mountains didn't fell while she surrendered but it was her body which was standing still there looking calm from it's outward appearance while inside it hell was breaking lose and causing her heart to crack apart, leaving vast craters behind...

"Asthu what are you doing, no don't do this to yourself", Avdhoot pleaded. "So you want me to leave and be the food of men like you outside", she said harshly, turning to face Avdhoot. All this time she had ignored him, but now was the time to leave by giving him a reality check.

"N..no, I am sorry Asthu, I am really sorry that I did that, I didn't want to do this but Ankush made me", Avdhoot was beginning to blabber in his defence. Shlok snorted but didn't say anything. He stood their silently listening to father-daughter conversation.

"Shutup, stop blaming others for your own sins, you all were involved in this, no one dragged you there and made you commit that heinous crime, how could you I trusted and loved you", she whispered tearfully. "Mother loved you like a faithful wife, I loved you like a daughter, but now I come to think of it we were only some sort of lovable possessions to you, right that was the only existence that we had in your eyes", tears were rolling down her cheeks, the dam had burst open.

"No, don't say that Asthu", Avdhoot cried. "Don't you dare call me Asthu, your Asthu is dead, you killed it", she shouted at him. "Don't say it please kill me but don't say it", Avdhoot sobbed harder his nose was beginning to run.

"I'll say it again and again, until you memorize it, I am not your daughter anymore", she said firmly. "Please kill me but don't let me die here", Avdhoot begged. "It s your punishment to die here every day and know that I am dying every day too because of you, I can't remove your sins, but I can surely pay for them", her voice was devoid of all emotions.

Shlok had folded his arms across his chest and was now leaning against the wall looking at them with avid interest...

" I am returning your love, your care, your money that you lavished on me as a father, with interest and now I am cleared of your all debts. There is nothing left between us, no relation, no love and no last name", her lifeless voice rang around the room...

"Nooo, please kill me", Avdhoot banged his forehead on the arm of his chair, but nothing moved inside her heart.

"Bravo", Shlok clapped and moved away from the wall. "So now if the heart wrenching emotional drama of father and daughter, that brought tears to my eyes is over can we move over princess", he mocked, rolling his eyes...

"Yes it's over and please don't call me princess from now onwards", she added the last line chillingly. Avdhoot cried harder. "Okay mam, I am your servant as you wish", he took a mock bow. "Can we please go from here", she asked stiffly. "Yes mam why not", he held a hand towards her. She looked at his mocking face and then hesitatingly placed her hand in his cold one.

His fingers instantly closed around it engulfing her small hand in his large one. He moved her towards the exit and like a robot she followed him trying to match his long strides. At the exit she turned once to throw a last despairing glance at Avdhoot. Blood was trickling down his forehead...

She caught a hint of remorse in her father's eyes, before Shlok dragged her outside...

She squeezed her eyes and two rebellious tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. It was too late for remorse, too late to apologize...

And now she had burnt her boat that had been bobbing alone for a long time among the waves, trying to find it's anchor...

She had reached the point of no return...

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