Chapter 26
Kalpi sits by the window in her room not really watching the hustle and bustle of life as people go about their business for she is lost in thought. Her mind focusing on one thing only... Why has Ragav not come to visit her? No matter how much she bangs her head trying to come up with a reasonable explanation... It just does not make sense to her... Because to her his absence has no logical explanation. Massaging her temple she wonders, "did something happen in the two days that I cannot remember? What could have happened to have changed our equation? I am recuperating here, so that means that whatever I don't remember has not affected us. So why is Ragav invisible? This makes no sense because the Ragav I know would be by my side making me laugh... Ragav where are you... I need to talk to you... I need to understand what is going on... What has changed!"
"Agh", she says aloud in frustration, "I am going to kill you when I see you. How dare you neglect me!"
Unable to take his absence anymore, Kalpi decides to take the initiative and calls Ragav... Only to have him disconnect her call. With nervous excitement she spends the day waiting for him to call her back... Alas no call comes. Feeling empty and lonely over his neglect, Kalpi cries herself to sleep thinking, "please tell me I am wrong in thinking that it was all about carnal pleasure... That nothing else mattered... Please Ragav walk in and tell me that what I am thinking is not true... That there was more between us... That the time we spent laughing... Talking... Arguing... Also mattered... That I mattered to you... Please Ragav... I need you... Please come to me... Please..." Her tears exhausting her, Kalpi falls asleep and just like clock work... Some moments later Ragav walks in to be with her... Whispering his apology for disconnecting her call... Telling her softly as he caresses her face that he just wanted her to realise that she loved him too.
Several days later Kamla maa looks towards Kalpi with worry, as the days go by she notices the spark in Kalpi's eyes diminish. She turns to Maya and says sadly, "have you noticed that Kalpi rarely smiles. She always has an aura of sadness around her. I know she has been crying when she is alone. I have noticed her swollen red eyes." Not knowing what to say, Maya gives Kamla maa her support by silently listening to her. Kamla maa continues, "why is she not confiding in me? She has never kept secrets from me." Maya looks towards Kalpi then back at Kamla maa and says softly, "Would you like me to try and find out what has upset her?" Kamla maa looks at Maya with hope amidst tears eyes, she smiles at her, a smile that does not reach her eyes, a smile that is filled with sadness as she takes her hand in hers and kisses it. Grasping Maya's hand, she whispers in a voice hoarse with emotion, "please." Maya chocking on her emotions, nods and leaves.
Kalpi puts on a smile when she notices Maya walking towards her and says brightly, "the physio therapist thinks that I am doing really well. Tomorrow we are going to tackle the stairs. She thinks my legs are strong enough. I can't wait, then soon I shall go home and Ragav will no longer need to hide and can have his home back." Maya sees the hurt in Kalpi's eyes and then snaps into attention and says, "what do you mean Ragav will no longer need to hide? Are you telling me that Ragav has not come to see you yet?" Kalpi gives her a sad smile and makes excuses for him, "he must be busy with work and probably feels that I have invaded his home."
Wanting to change the topic Kalpi calls out for her mum. Kamla maa walks to the entrance of the kitchen and says, "what is Kalpu?" She uses the pet name Kalpi dislikes, hoping to have the old bubbly Kalpi, who would moan and complain over the use of the pet name. Kalpi smiles and says, "Please make chilli paneer for dinner." Kamla maa looks at her in surprise and says, "you are not fond of chilli paneer. I was going to make your favourite rajma chawal." "Aai please make chilli paneer too. I feel like having it." Kalpi says and further adds to herself, "it is Ragav's favourite." Kalpi slowly gets up and says, "I am tired. I think I shall go to my room and rest."Furious with Ragav Maya just nods, turns in Kamla Maya's direction and calls out, "Kamla maa, I need to head out. I shall be back shortly.
Once alone in her room, the flood gates open as kalpi remembers the last time she had cooked chilli paneer for Ragav. She drops herself to the floor, her heart calling out:
Ragav why have you not come to see me... All you have to do is open the door... Why won't you open the door... Do I not mean nothing to you?... With everything between us... Are you saying that all I was to you was a challenge... Just carefree fun... I thought we were friends first... Was your interest... Your attention in me for one purpose only... I guess you have moved on... You have replaced me... Which is fine I knew you would do that... But I never thought you would ignore me afterwards... I thought having come out from the jaws of death you would come visit... That it would be like old times where we used to talk and joke for hours... That we would share our meals together... Oh gosh have I become like the other girls... Trying to cling to something that is not real.
Her tears exhausting her, Kalpi drifts off to sleep, praying softly, "Bappa I love him. I don't know how and when I fell in love. Please help me." The images and memories that played hide and seek with her for the past week decide to reveal themselves. Her heart racing as her memories come to her in dream form. The pain, the anguish, the shame, the heartache suddenly all real, chocking her, jolting her to wakefulness. With uncontrollable tears she calls out as her heart breaks a second time, Aai. Aai. Aai..."
Hearing Kalpi yell for her continuously, fear grips Kamla maa as she runs to her. She storms into the room and sees the empty bed, momentarily panicking before she sees Kalpi sitting up on the floor her hands open for a hug, crying as she calls out for her mother. Kamla maa rushes to her, drops herself by Kalpi's side and hugs her tight, saying in a rush panic, "Kalpi what happened? Did you fall? Tell me." The nurse rushes in behind Kamla maa ready to take over, but stops when she hears Kalpi tell her mother brokenly, "I remember everything. I remember everything." Kamla maa caresses her back As the nurse says, "let us go sit on the bed. Let us make you comfortable." Kalpi refuses to let go of her mother as she keeps whispering the same words over and over, "I remember everything." Kamla maa gently rocks Kalpi who is hugging her tightly as tears silently fall from her eyes. Her gaze goes up to the ceiling as feverntly pray, "oh Bappa. Help my daughter. Heal her. Please Bappa. I cannot live knowing that I am responsible for my daughter's sufferings. Please Bappa help me." "Sshhh." Kamla maa says, reassuring Kalpi that she is right here and will never leave her.
Moments later Kalpi looks at Kamla maa imploringly and says, "Aai I want to go home."
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Ragav is totally focused on the building plans he has laid out on his desk when suddenly some one or something whacks him on the head. Startled he looks up as his hand automatically rubs the part of his head that was hit. Surprised, he says, "what the hell was that for Maya? Why are you even here? Who is watching Kamla maa? I will not have that woman keep Kalpi away from me." Maya just stares at him as she tries to contain her temper. Ragav continues more forcefully, "why are you not there watching her to make sure that she is not up to any mischief?" Maya raises her hand to whack Ragav again, so incensed she is with him. Ragav seeing this quickly ducks so that she does not hit him again. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He yells.
"What the hell is wrong with me! What the hell is wrong with you?" Maya yells back. She continues on as Ragav looks at her in confusion, "what game are you playing? Why have you not gone to see Kalpi? Have you any idea how much she is hurting with your neglect?" Ragav calms down once he realises what has caused Maya to get all riled up. "Calm down. Everything is working as per my plan", Ragav says. Maya looks at him in horror, thinking, "huh!" She sits down with a huff, forces herself to feel the calmness that is non existent and says, "explain."
"Maya I am hoping with my absence Kalpi will realise that she loves me," Ragav says. Stunned Maya just stares at him, her expression clearly indicating to Ragav that she does not understand him. "Look, I realised My feelings for Kalpi when she was away from me. I am doing the same with Kalpi. My being away from her will make her realise her feelings for me. I will then never have to worry about Kamla maa making Kalpi leave me," Ragav adds. "You have got to be joking. What none sense! Please tell me this is a joke on your part. You do know that your behaviour has just ensured that Kalpi will leave you. You don't need to worry about Kamla maa. You need to worry about yourself." Maya says vhelmently. Ragav's expression from confidence turns to confusion as he listens to Maya.
Ragav leans forward, resting his hands on his desk and says, "Maya I don't understand. What are you saying..." Just then Maya's phone rings interrupting Ragav from completing his sentence. Seeing the caller I.D. Maya raises her hand in gesture for Ragav to stop talking and answers the phone, "Kamla maa...calm down...What happened?... I am coming right over. Try to stall her." She getup, looks at Ragav furiously and says, "Kalpi got her memory back and she is insisting on leaving. You and I are going to have a long conversation tonight." Maya starts walking out of the office when Ragav quickly gets up and says, "I am coming with you." Maya turns towards him and says coldly, "you have made yourself scarce in front of her. Do her a favour and continue doing so."
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"Kalpi are you sure this is what you want. Do you want to leave Ragav?" Maya says. Purposely choosing to use Ragav's name instead of Ragav's home. Noticing the hurt that is reflected in Kalpi's eyes Maya regrets her choice of words for a split second as she thinks, "good. With everything that has happened between them Kalpi is not happy with the idea of leaving Ragav." Kalpi tries to smile, looks at her mum as she gathers strength and says, "it is for the best. With everything that has happened, it is for the best." Unable to resist, she adds in dismay, "he never came to visit me..."
Ragav silently listening to the conversation from the entrance, replies, "I thought that once you got your memory back you would not want me to see." Startled Maya, Kalpi and Kamla maa turn sharply towards him. Ignoring Maya's furious look, he walks towards Kalpi. He kneels down before her. They are face to face, just inches apart for she is sitting on the sofa and he says, "I was afraid. I was afraid that should I come in you presence you would remember everything and leave me. Please don't go." Holding her hands into his, he adds, "please give me the opportunity to make it up to you." Kalpi looks into his eyes, feeling herself melt with the raw emotions she sees... Of regret... Of pain... Of love... Of sadness. Instinctively Kalpi leans forward releasing one of her hands from his grasp she raises it to caress his face wanting to replace the sadness in his eyes with happiness. Just then Kamla maa comes into Kalpi's vision. Kalpi freezes momentarily and jerks back... Away from Ragav, as she snatches her other hand back.
Laughing huskily she says cynically, her gaze harsh, "gosh you are too good. I nearly believed you. Sorry to disappoint. You are never going to hurt my mother through me." She stands up hastily, losing her balance only to have Ragav grasp her at her waist and steady her. She pushes his hands away from her body,and says scathingly, "don't touch me." Her gaze filled with loathing, for him and for herself she does not know. She knows she is over reacting. Thinking, "I need to leave. I need to leave now before I weaken and believe his lies." Forcing herself to keep calm, she calls out, "aai let us go home." She turns to Maya and says, "are you still going to drop us home."
For several seconds Maya does not respond to Kalpi's query, her gaze and attention focused on Ragav. Sensing the pain he is in, she wants to yell, "I told you not to come. What the hell did you think was going to happen?" Maya says none of this, instead she turns to Kalpi and says, "of course I am going to drop you. I still wish for us to continue being good friends." Ignoring Ragav she helps Kalpi and Kamla maa. Too shocked to react, his expression bleak, Ragav remains on his knees as his heart cries out, "she is leaving me. I will never see her again."
At the entrance Kalpi calls out, "Ragav sir" she waits for Ragav to stand up and turn towards her before adding, "sir I would like to request for a month off to recuperate before rejoining the office." Clearing his voice, Ragav says, "sure. You can take a the time you need." Kalpi nods and walks out, shutting the door behind her. Ragav slowly smiles with rekindled hope and whispers, "thank you Bappa for giving me a second chance. I will win her back."
P.S: I am sorry guys. I have been banging my head to come up with a reason to have Kalpi stay back. Unfortunately everything I have thought of Kalpi has rejected. Her self respect is demanding she goes back home.
On a good note, don't worry she shall soon start working at the office again and you will have your Ragna scenes and once she finds out they are married Kamla maa will ask her to go and live with Ragav. Don't get excited there is a twist there.