Die Another Day

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Posted: 18 years ago

Die Another Day:

A doctor says to his patient: "I have bad news and worse news."
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies: "You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible," says the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

Three Sheets:

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper, frown and say: "That's not it."
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier examined.
A military psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army and handed it to the soldier, who picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."