Disconnect and Dishonesty

Sorry for the long absence, recovering after a surgery and have not visited the forums, including my last topic 😭 But meanwhile, here is the next one.

I know a lot of us have felt disheartened by the past few weeks of YHM, and I spent a lot of time thinking about what I exactly miss from the show. Because we are getting token Ishra scenes and doses of Ruhi, in the middle of other scenes I rather not talk about...which is what made me recount some of the initial bonds that connected to me as a person, and made YHM a part of my daily routine. Now without further ado,

Mr Bhalla - Mr Iyer: This was one of the first bonds that brought a smile to my face. Two retired gentlemen, seemingly from entirely different backgrounds becoming friends. But were they really that different? They both were hardworking middle class men who brought up their children to their best ability, only to be defeated by fate that snatched their most precious fruit of labour' - their children's happiness.

There was no overt show of friendship...a small smile here to greet each other, an apologetic look there as their wives or children argued with each other. But when it came to protecting their families' happiness, the otherwise silent but ever wise men stood up as the voices of reason even amidst the noise of the warring families, and stood by each other as they proposed the Ishra wedding.

Bala - Vandu: One of the most endearing, subtle and modern husband-wife relationship bonds on TV for sure. The best aspect of this Jodi is the ease with which they separate their professional and personal lives and maturely handle the dynamics in their relationship given that Vandu is Bala's superior at work.

You could literally see how their respective roles as elder child and sibling as well as educator have shaped the traits that they display even in their marriage - both plan a lot, worry about financesmore than the normal' TV couple...in short feel obliged to take responsible and well thought out decisions, and thus tread close to the danger of the "I am always right" syndrome. Yet they show their other side perfectly to each other - be it the tantrum throwing Vandu or goofy attempts at teenage romance by Bala. In fact they complement each other so beautifully that there has been no moment where I have felt one partner was too dominating (Mihir-Mihika come to mind) or too docile (current RKB anyone 😛 chodo another debate for another day).

Also, kudos to Bala's sensitivity in holding his own in front of his family (especially mother) and forging such a beautiful relationship with the Iyers, and Vandu for not taking any harassment from her mother-in-law when it comes to Ishita or her parents.

N.B. The Raina angle has not been shown much, so shall take her for an obsessive admirer before anything further is shown 😊

Raman- Mihir-Romi: This "bromance triangle" has been more interesting and nuanced than most love triangles 😆 We have three brothers, each sharing an unique bond with the two others.

There is Mihir who has admiration and respect for Raman, as well as gratitude and maybe even a tinge of guilt for the devastation his sister brought to Raman's life. In exchange we see Raman treating him like the brother he never had but always wished to. Although Mihir himself was someone probably as broken and betrayed as Raman was when Shagun left, he shook that off to stand by Raman as his companion and rock during his darkest days. And by mentoring' Mihir, Raman healed himself by watching Mihir emerge from the shadows of his past and turn into a capable and successful man both professionally and personally - something Raman had come to accept to be an impossible and unattainable balance in his own life.

Raman and Mihir always remind me of this Pam Brown quote (though written for an older sister): "...a friend and defender; a listener, conspirator, a counsellor and a sharer of delights. And sorrows too."

Then there is Romi, who suffers quite a bad case of "middle child" syndrome in this triangle. Caught between his glorious and successful CEO older brother and the able heir apparent Mihir is the carefree Romi, who struggles in academics and just about everything considered important and laudable.

He is the youngest kid, the rebellious Bhalla kid, who takes advantage of the leeway given by his mother and the wealth amassed by his brother.
Yet his character has always swung between the good and bad - is he a plain lazy thrill seeking womaniser or is he a misguided youth trying to balance out the insecurities about his seeming inadequacy in the family that swallow him by scoring with the girls to earn respect outside his home?

He never seems to be comfortable in his own skin - he overdoes something to try to proudly own the "vela/rebel" tag at least, and then is pricked by his conscience and his family's values. In the end, he puts himself between a rock and a hard place -accepting that he is wrong and falling down further in the eyes of his family versus justifying his actions to others and bearing its guilt in his heart. In fact, Romi's impulsive and risky behaviour, motivated by his need for recognition and the reassurance that he can be loved despite his past deeds, reminds me of Adi at times.

Finally, due to Mihir's place between' Raman and Romi, we have a layered equation between Mihir and Romi. While Romi, like the rest, is grateful to Mihir for standing by Raman, he cannot help but feel envious of Mihir. Perhaps, he sees the time Raman spent with Mihir as his share of affection and guidance from who is rightfully his blood brother. Or he senses that Mihir is probably the image of the ideal younger brother in Raman's eyes - one that he can neither live up to nor want to try to live up to, as it will only fetch him recognition as Mihir's shadow, and not as Romi.

So in the beginning we had Romi trying to hurt or malign Mihir, resulting in tension and altercations which eventually hurt Raman and his family, forcing Romi to repent as usual. Mihir too forgave him and maintained cordial relations, though it was all for Raman, whom they both loved dearly.

However, their relationship turned a road when Mihir was betrayed by Mihika. Suddenly, Mihir became human' for Romi...he had a heart break, cried, drunk and misbehaved. He may even have reminded Romi of how Raman was after Shagun left him for Ashok - a heart break that for sure stole his big brother from him for a significant period of time. And maybe that is also why Romi has genuinely tried to alleviate the pain Mihir is going through - for he knows, that Raman cannot afford to lose the brother that Mihir is.

Another quote, by David Levithian this time: "It is a dangerous thing with brothers, to think that you could be as strong as them, or as wise as them, or as good as them. To believe that you could have been the same person, if only you hadn't gone a different way. To think that your parents raised you the same, and that your genes combined the same, and that the rest of what has happened in all your triumph . . . or failure."