I really like how the beginning of this chapter turned out- two simultaneous conversations, four different people- two, telling the same story. But we get to see their inner thoughts about their relationship, the glimpse of truth behind the words they're saying. I love it- there's a subtlety to it, one I know you love. Showing, not telling. 😆I've always said that the friendship you show between them is so real- for me, especially the moment when Lavanya snatches the phone out of Khushi's hands, and she snatches it back. But really, it's the moment when Khushi begins to text him back, and Lavanya notices that her friend is coming alive again, beginning to feel- that sense of relief she feels at seeing a loved one's suffering ease ever so slightly... so damned well portrayed.
HA! The pun! 😆 😆 Ah, that's exactly the kind of joke that amuses me far too much. Blame my father.
Again- the friendship. It's so warm and cozy, not very much unlike that cup of chai they were drinking. I love the impishness in Maya, the way she pushes him to confront this thing that he... doesn't want to name (heh. Get it? Get it?). Maya's so adorable- mischievous and a lot of fun. I would want to be friends with her!
My favorite part of this chapter is the halting admissions of Arnav and Khushi. They don't say it all, but I really really like how you give us- the readers- enough of a glimpse to give us a hint to the depth of their feelings. Their hesitance, the unwillingness- it's like you can hear them speaking, here their voices that give you little clues to what they feel. The ones that are, and the ones that were.
I'd want to be friends with all of your characters- that's how I feel, when I read your writing. I want to be friends with them, get to know them. Build a relationship.
And goddamn it, update soon.
Love always,
G.
P.S.: Did I surprise you with this? Did I? 😆
Edited by chotidesi - 11 years ago
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