Posted:
Hi Guys,
I can see that there are lot of point of views being discussed about Nandini's "Let's be friends" dictate. Some think that was wrong of her and some think that it was right. And there is a lot of debate going on about sexual intimacy...
Here is what I think...I may sound very clinical or very non-passionate here. But this is what I have learnt through my own relationship through trial and error...over the course of many years.
In any long lasting relationship, there are lot of factors which contribute to it. Love is not the only thing...
Love: Of course, there need to be love between them. But what is love? Is it what you feel, that rush, those butterflies at the beginning of a relationship? or what you feel after many years, on a fine evening when you are having a cup of coffee with your partner and you don't even need to talk to fill the silence? I would say both. But, to reach from point one to point two is not easy...for that you need patience...
Patience: Patience to listen, to understand what the other say, and to wait for your partner to be comfortable enough to share and be with you. Patience to understand the diversity, differences and patience to handle the crisis and clashes.
Respect: Just because a person loves, that does not automatically guarantee respect. Respect for the individual and individuality is a must.
Freedom: Freedom to be yourself and be true to your self. Freedom to express yourself. Free enough to talk silly or be silly once in a while and have confidence that your partner will not judge you for that...
Space: Physical and emotional space. A huge thing, which we often do not give importance to. But is a must. Don't you feel like being with yourself once in while. Or just go out with your own friends, without your partner?
Intimacy:Physical intimacy is an important factor. But do we think about emotional intimacy? Both needs to balanced and in sync with each other. This only gets better with time and age... like a beautiful wine...
Arguments: Yes, ... we argue with our parents, siblings. Why not your partner? When two different individuals being together, conflicts are bound to happen. It could be as simple as which movie to watch to a major ones. Arguments only happens when both partners are equals. If they are not arguing, then one person is dominating the other..which is not good. But, one important thing to remember is to know HOW to argue and WHEN to stop. Arguments need to be healthy...
Friendship: Your life will be super fun if you are best friends with your partner...
But, I have saved the most important thing, last...
Communication: Without this, nothing can last for long. We are human beings, not super heroes with the power to telepathy. Unless we open our mouth and speak up, how can your partner understand you? You need to speak up, share your opinions, your limits, your space, your comfort zones, your problems...and you also need to listen...
So, there is you go guys.. my funda for today is over...
Back to Nandini...it was very mature of her to voice her opinions to Manik about her hesitation. But there was a communication gap. She needs to make him understand what exactly her problem is and Manik need to have patience to wait for her to explain...
Nandini and Manik are yet to learn a lot about relationship and there are bound be clashes...I must say I was impressed with the CVs to have bought this up.
Love
MD
PS: Feeling very sleepy...so I don't really know if what I wrote made sense or not...
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