SANDHIR FF: MY EQUATION OF TRUST (DARK+MATURE)LINK TO THREAD 2!! - Page 47

Originally posted by: -Naz.Karam-

Lvely update dear :)))

Originally posted by: adventure_gurl

glad he tried to care for her but she took it wrong way

Originally posted by: pari1995

Loved it

Finally our sanyu is back

Poor rd

Update soon

Love

Pari

Originally posted by: newmoon18

Yr u replies to cmmnts is alwz amzng

And haan hum tuje chane k jhaad pr ni chadate h
U totally desreves it yr

lolziie lets see.😆😆😆

U r amzng
Luv u
Keep smiling

Originally posted by: newmoon18

Are waha new CPU
Party bnti h fir toh

Treat chahiye Hume toh
Aaj mast si update as a treat
Wese Teri update hmesha hi mast hti h

lol giving dear 😆😆😆

Wtng for next
Update soon


Luv u
Keep smiling

GUYZ PLZ HIT LIKES AND DO SHARE YOUR VIEWS IT REALLY MEANS A ALOT FOR ME...

hey guyz this part is dedicated to SWEETSHREE thankiee dear for ur support...

MY EQUATION OF TRUST(DARK + MATURE)

PART: 11

DIGNITY

Precap: sanyu had misunderstanding with rd...she fought back with her full spirit... Rd also broke down...

... "how could she say that...how could she... I love you na.. I still love you aalu...you are my life aaliya..i love you..."..and then he rested his back at the backside wall and started staring the ceiling...with his moist eyes... Remembering the days spent with her'... his aaliya...he was quite just looking at the very point..at the ceiling..but yeah the peace was not to be there for long I guess...suddenly he stood up from his place remembering something and then started throwing up the things of sanyu's here and there... while chanting in lil furous and broken voice... "no...I love you..i love you aaliya...u r my princess..."... may be something bad stroke back in his mind..he was just furious at the time... Was throwing the things like maniacs...he started throwing the things from her so called old cupboard...was messing everything in rage but just then his gaze fell on something...something between the clothes...he went up to there with utmost interest and then took the very thing which was grabbing his full attention...and guess what..it was the dairy... sanyu's dairy..the dairy which was gifted to her by nazia...the diary with which she shared her inner self...her fear...he looked at it with a utmost interest and curiosity.. don't know why but yeah there was something in the dairy which was pulling him to it...he ruffled his hair like a kid... he was totally out of rage now... it seemed like a kid had been given a toy car to divert his attention from the ice cream...he was totally in the diary...he took the dairy and then settled himself on her so called messy bed resting his back to the wall... he caressed the cover of the dairy in a way to caress something precious..yeah there was a kind of unknown connection with the dairy...he opened up the dairy and the thing which he witnessed left him dumbstruck... He was not able to assemble the things... something was written on the first page of it...with the red color..yeah the red color of blood..and the thing which was written over there increased his heartbeat... "MY EQUATION OF TRUST.."...he felt a shiver in his spine...his hands started shivering a lil...he closed his eyes...he felt some connection with her..with this dairy... he felt her to be like in his condition...he caressed his hands on the blood stained heart piercing page...looking at it with a hunger in his eyes...hunger of finding something... he turned the next page and started reading it..

**DAIRY**

Life ...life is unexpectedly dangerous no one knows what's gonna happen next just like me...(he felt a lump...his curiosity got increased by reading this)
Mom dad I really miss you both are you guyz still in the world...????(his eyes became moist..moist in fear...fear of finding someone like him..so broken)
And yeah my pichku (he made a confused pout and then chuckled at the name and then said while chuckling a lil "aalu"..may be he was correlating the funny names...) your sandy is still waiting for you...i know you are still here in the world... at last I wanted to confess that yes I love you...yeah you are right m finally confessing it...your sandy in confessing it...(a lone tear escaped from his eyes by imagining her state of condition)

Btw hey dear dairy...m writing this not becuz I love to write ... m actually writing this becuz I don't want to forget how to write at least by this I will be able to keep in mind the words and alphabet which I used to write daily some two years ago... (he was startled by her words...the scene of library flashed before his eyes..founding sanyukta studying there...he got her reason to study..to sustain her inner self...his eyes became moist and he felt guilty of his deeds)

And yeah m sanyukta...sanyukta agarwal a 19 year old virgin and that too thanx to god...See you soon...(he took a sigh while his eyes were moist now...moist in guilt..in a lil happiness may be somewhere..in unknown companionship..yeah he actually found something which gave him a kind of relief...)

**DAIRY**

And after reading the first page he rested his back at the wall and uplifted his head to look up at ceiling...his eyes were moist..but he was a lil relieved..dont know why but after reading to this he felt not to be alone in the world at that time...
He was just looking at a point trying to figure up her life...and correlating the things with her...but may be it was not decided to be for long...yeah his peace was disturbed by a sound bringing him back from his reverie...he blinked his eyes in contrast and then sat straight and looked here and there to look up..but there was nothing in her so called room...but again a voice grabbed his attention..and he soon figured up that the voice was coming from his room where she was resting...he got panicked at the very thought and then rushed up to his room after keeping the dairy on the bed...he went up to his room and the next thing which he witnessed..Startled him..his eyes got widened...his heartbeat rose to its highest...he again felt it'... his fear and then within the next moment he rushed to her..he turned her with a jerk and slapped her hard due to which the glass cut piece fell from her grip and she started pushing him back but nah he gripped her in his hold by her bothe the arms and started shaking her while screaming at her with his red eyes..red with rage and concern... "tum paagal ho gayi ho kya.. ha..." She huffed to this and then said while pushing him back "chodo muje..." But he didn't gave any heed to it and then said in his high pitch taunting her... "haa taaki tum phir se suicide attempt kar sako...taaki tum phir se apni nas katne ke liye ready ho jaao...".. yeah you guyz are guessing it right..she was attempting to suicide...she was so broken...at that moment... and to this she replied in her determined and broken voice... "ha isiliye..nai jeena muje..ab bacha hi kya hai mere paas... bas ek hi cheez bachi thi..meri DIGNITY...but aaj vo bhi chali gayi...I wanna die now just leave me..." and to this he replied in his high pitch with lil concern in it while trying to calm her down... "are par sanyuk..." But before he could complete she started pushing him hard on his chest..while continuously chanting in her high pitch... "just leave me..muje marna hai...I wanna die..chodo muje..." his chest started paining and but he was not ready to leave her up...he turned her back towards the bed side and then pushed her to the bed..to which she fell down on the bed still chanting the line "muje marna hai..." And before she could stood up he claimed her..he came over her and closed her mouth by using his...while she was just trying to free herself..was just pushing him back by his chest...but he was not ready to leave her..he was concerned for her..for the person whom he just now found to be his companion.. a broken companion... he cupped her face with the utmost care and started claiming her lips... While her eyes were just closed and she was pushing him back...he took her lower lip between his lips and started smooching it softly...in a way to calm her down..he was not at all there to take out his rage...he was just taking the pain of her..was may be trying to convey the message..that she was not alone now...she was not only the one to suffer there...he was just smooching it softly while his palms were cupping her face caringly..his thumbs were moving on her cheeks in a circular motion to calm her down..but she was not ready to calm up down..was just pushing him back with her eyes closed..tears were rolling down from her eyes...she was too broken at the time...but he didn't left her for a sec he was just kissing her passionately..trying to calm her down along with his smooches... soon she stopped hitting him.. and rested her hands on his chest...her eyes were closed..she was feeling something on her lips...his touch...she wanted to push him up but somewhere she wanted to be still... she felt something deep...a missing thing in his touch...but before she could analyze something more..she was asleep..she lost her consciousness...whereas he was now feeling lil relief... Relief by seeing to be in peace in sleep..he cupped her face tightly in his palms and then left her...he came over her and adjusted her on the bed...he sat beside her and covered her with the quilt... He looked at her face..he again felt something..something was common...there was a innocence on her face...he felt guilty...he found a pain on her face...he too felt a unknown pain...he caressed her hairs and then left from there leaving her all alone in her sleep.. he again came back to her so called bed and sat up there with the dairy in his hands... he looked at the dairy...and then looked at the ceiling...he uplifted his head resting it to the back wall and then closed his eyes for a while..her suicide attempt came into his mind...he quickly opened up his eyes to look up...he blinked his eyes and the rubbed his palm on his eyes...and then he again looked at the dairy... He sighed a lil and then started turning the pages of dairy...he found most of them to be blank...she had written the things in between..not in any sequence...and after turning the pages for a while his gaze fell on the head of a page and his hands automatically stopped over the page remembering her one of the word.. "DIGNITY.."
Yeah the head was dignity...which according to her she lost...
He started reading it...

**DAIRY**

DIGNITY...isn't it a nothing' for the peoples now...???(he made a confused pout...)
Well I don't know about others but yeah for me my DIGNITY is the only reason for me to live...(he smiled to this on the fact that she pure)...i don't know why some peoples are even ready to sell out their dignity for the worthless money..for having rest at their big rooms...(he felt a lump in his throat..for something..).. well I don't even care for that now but for me the DIGNITY is the only thing for which I can even afford living shelter less.. I can even die for it...because now everything is gone except this..mom dad... pichku..yeah my pichku is no more in the world (his eyes became moist...his heart skipped a beat..)...now he is dead for me... now he is only a exporter for me MR. PARTH KASHYAP.. who sold me a few days ago to MR. RSS...(a tears drop escaped from his eyes..by knowing the fact that she was betrayed...by her loved ones...but he composed himself out of curiosity and then continued..)...i do remember dad always used to say that never loose yourself..your dignity..the day you lost your DIGNITY is the day you lost yourself... is the day you died...(he took a sigh at the thought..he felt proud of the thinking..)...and yeah I too believe in this...dad is right..but I have to be careful... I don't wanna die...this world is too dangerous for me...everywhere there's lust..(he too felt frightened a lil may be imagining him in her place...)..but I will fight back I will not let my only left thing go..i will not let my DIGNITY go...(he felt weak at the moment...her words rang up in his mind...he was afraid for her now...)

**DAIRY**

Recap: something new...change...guilt

Auth's note : a person must have his/her dignity in life... without the dignity its worthless how much u earn... becuz it never gives the real happiness and satisfaction..so always maintain your dignity its the most precious thing in the world...