Like of many of you I am flabbergasted at Paakhi's behaviour. This is not the Paakhi I recognise. Even with the people that have caused her soo much pain and heartache she is kind and forgiving. So I took a step back and here is my view:
PaakVeer had settled into an easy friendship based relationship in which they trusted, supported, respected each other and enjoyed spending time together even without the kids
Arrival of Jiji shook things up
- for Paakhi because she had to face that in the eyes of the world she was Veer's wife and all that came with it.
- for Veer it bought the realisation that somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with Paakhi even though he knew that she would never return his feelings.
While Paakhi thought that Veer did not see her "as his wife" she was happy to oblige the family. But the realisation that Veer loves her has opened up a can of worms in Paakhi which she does not wish to acknowledge, let along deal with.
Love comes in many forms.
Love in which the sight, the touch, the thought, the scent of the person you love brings a smile to your face, makes you happy, you accept their strengths and weaknesses, their absence is unbearable. Its all-encompassing and you think its forever. First love innocent of understanding the pain of heart break you give everything in that relationship and will do everything you can to preserve it.
That was Paakhi's love for Ansuman. It was built on an illusion and she accepted everything and anything that he threw at her because she loved him. Equally she forced herself into every aspect of his life (whether it was to take lunch for him to the office, taking care of Aayan, making Ansuman realise that his actions were wrong) and in soo doing she made Ansuman realise who and what she was and in turn he fell in love with her. Yes like any normal person sometimes she challenged herself on whether it was worth it but she could not walk away. The 2 times she did walk away was not because she wanted out but because Ansuman wanted her to leave.
Lavanya said yesterday if you live with someone in time you learn to love/care about them. And that is what has happened here. Veer is everything (if not more) that Ansuman became because of Paakhi. Paakhi is a caring person and so when PaakVeer became friends she started to care for him and the bond between them become stronger as she got to know him and somewhere deep down Paakhi has an inkling that she could easily fall in love Veer.
While she thought Veer had no feelings for her, everything was fine but now she know how he feels somewhere within her that feeling is getting stronger. But Paakhi has forever proclaimed that she loves only Ansuman. She herself says she always keeps her promises and she has promised to always be Ansuman's Paakhi. Her words to Jiji on KC night were closest she has come to express her predicament - "I have not tied anyone. I am the one who is tied down."
So her head is taking steps to ensure that her feelings for Veer never comes to light.
IMHO that is why she used such harsh words on KC night. She needed to kill any feelings he had for her because then the feeling within her will also subside. She knows Veer very well and therefore she knows that demeaning his feelings for Kirti and insulting him in the worst possible way by calling him an opportunistic old man who would take advantage of a young vulnerable woman will make him hate her and kill any feelings for her.
She has achieved her objective but the constant onslaught from Jiji and the way Veer is not letting what has happened between them affect the way he is treating Aayan and everyone else and still treats her for most part with respect and courtesy means that the feeling within her is not subsiding as she expected. Paakhi's feelings for Veer are in their infancy so to a large extent she is able to control them. That is why their manifestations are coming out in a strange way - be it her not being able to ignore his voice so stops and watches his conversation with someone else, ignoring the fact he has told her he intends to leave, the way she smiles when she sees Veer and Aayan together, the way she was not able to stay away from Bahi Dooj ceremony even though Jiji had given her a way out, not willing to release Veer from their arrangement. Each time she rationalises it to herself that she is doing it for Aayan but in her own mind she knows that, that argument is getting weak. In reality she is moving on. There are no constant flashbacks, and the fact she needs to say to herself that "she loves Ansuman. She does not expect to be loved in return but she loves him even more" now suggests that she senses that her feelings for Ansuman are ebbing.
She does not want to deal with that so she has latched on to mission of uncovering the threat to Veer's life with such zeal. It allows her to be close to Veer for a legitimate reason and again she has rationalised it that she is doing it as it's her duty. But even as she breaths those words her emotions and anxiety are showing - to herself "I will not let any harm to come to Veer", to Veer "Jiji wants to break our relationship", to Lavenya "no matter how much we deny it I have a relationship with Veer". Yesterday when Veer said "is there any such relationship between us ... I don't think so"..."you could have simply said no but instead you chose to insult/degrade me" ... "Jiji has tried to bring us together because she wants there to be a relationship between forever... it's a separate issue that you don't want that" she was visibly hurt.
Paakhi of old would have cried and given into Lavenya's demand but although she felt bad she did not be budge from her decision to stay with Veer. Slowly and without realising it she is loosening the ties that were bound to her relationship with Ansuman so that they do not take precedence over everything.
As Anonee said the inside is fast becoming hollow, we are now waiting for the outer shell to collapse under its own weight.
So guys for those who are disheartened bear with it because I think end will be worth it.