Grief is the price we pay for love - Oct 13

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

Doc,

So lovely. You've captured many relationships with that summary. She is the most patient tolerant girl. While sometimes I feel he is entitled to a more emotional apology or remorse from her. I find that lacking esp when she brought Shagun home and Param home without Mr Bhalla's permission.

His anger at just about everything has been pretty consistent

I am glad he acknowledged it today "I would change it if I could" he said

We have not seen her say "I havent been sincere enough in admitting my mistakes or I havent said as heartfelt an apology as he deserves for inadvertently hurting him by flaunting Mani and my friendship in his face"

We havent heard her say that...

Not everything in a marriage has to be equal. While its very easy to hide behind our virtual avatars and "preach" how a marriage "should be"

And how "I would leave my husband" "I would never treat my wife like that etc"

Such vitriol sounds great between 18-22, sheltered in the homes of parents' getting emotionally carried away and declaring all sorts of rebellion during youth is common

BUT

Post marriage...when you live life surrounded by kids and in laws and your parents... some decisions are harder to take. Marriage is unequal in most cases. Especially ARRANGED marriages... whether it be in in outwardly/obvious/tangible things like...the income each partner brings in or how much chores each person does or how many hours the hubby works vs the wife... to the deep deep emotional stuff.

Its MOSTLY UNEQUAL

Not everyone is counting all the time also (atleast in Indian marriages, I know many American friends that do😉), if the scale is tipped in favor of one partner life GOES ON. Most marriages I see around me the scale IS tipped... I don't see anyone fleeing...

Must be something greater than "compromise" that keeps them together, which we call love?

Doc, NOT every couple talks for hours, in fact most of my friends say "Woh sab shaadi se pehle romantic lagta hai". You just make decisions passing each other in life's freeway😆

One text or two during the day, a sentence or two over voice mail

Kaun real life mein apology ko lekar ghanto baat karta hai?

Yeh "ghanto baat karna" has been romanticized by movies and TV😆

For ISHRA, ofcourse I am willing to watch ghanto kya MAHINO😳

ISHRA marriage is very unique as well, makes them the most watchable married couple on screen for me. If Raman never lost his temper, he would not be passionate either... with him its a package deal. If she wasn't so sensitive, opinionated and reckless she would be a doormat.

WHO would want to watch such a marriage?

Not me!👏

Edited by Nisha0604 - 11 years ago

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swara.saxena

@swara.saxena

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Very well said! 👏 Speechless! No words to say.. fab post! ⭐️

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Eyes-Wide-Shut

@Eyes-Wide-Shut

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

@Nisha: I agree marriage doesn't mean 100% equality, there is a lot of give and take in any marriage, Ishita might have an upper hand in maintaining family relationships and in Ruhi's department while Raman might have an upper hand in their personal relationship. And inequality doesn't mean lopsidedness it merely means a balance of 51-49.

Regarding Ishita not apologizing, I thought she did a splendid job apologizing to Raman in their bedroom post the Shagun fiasco, she was scared, guilty and there was so much remorse in her eyes. I remember Raman saying, if bringing Shagun here would shut up Ishita then he would have brought Shagun home a long time ago. I thought that was a very classic Ishra like apology. May be I am over analyzing this.

I can't blame Ishita for not knowing that her friendship with Mani is pissing Raman off because when she asked Raman about second chances and love, he replied only fools fall in love twice so Ishita concluded that Raman doesn't love her, there have been multiple instances when both Raman and Ishita have loudly proclaimed that they would never love the other one because they aren't crazy. All this makes Ishita think that Raman doesn't' love her, so far for her it's one sided love at this point. I am of the belief that one can only rectify a mistake if they know about it, once Raman tells her that Mani and her friendship makes him really uncomfortable, Ishita will move earth and heaven to make her Ravan kumar secure. Please correct me if I am wrong.

I know in reality couples hardly get to talk but in Reel life a girl can dream! lol

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Eyes-Wide-Shut

@Eyes-Wide-Shut

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: swra.saxena
Very well said! 👏 Speechless! No words to say.. fab post! ⭐️

Thank you very much!!

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shalu79

@shalu79

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

Awesome n much needed post👏👏👏⭐️⭐️⭐️

!00% Agree with u👍🏼

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DiVa

@Dihiva

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

Beautifully written!

I was happy with yesterday's episode for the following reasons:

First, Raman reacted like an insecure man in love who believed he would be rejected. He wanted to reject her before he could be rejected and he threw the bracelet away.. how touching was that! My heart went out to both of them there. It was the insecurity and the anticipation of heartache that Raman felt when he rejected the bracelet. I just loved that scene because he did not hide it anymore. He brought out his frustration and made Ishita know that he was hurting. So far, he just gave a few glimpses of being jealous but she did not know how it was burning him up. It was important that he lets her know that and he did.

Ishita's reaction at being called a liar was very touching. She was oblivious all these days about the intensity of Raman's jealousy towards her friendship with Mani and yesterday she got a jhalak of what her Raavan Kumar was feeling. It was a sort of clearing of MUs for me yesterday.

I was happy she conveyed it to her friend about her feelings for her husband and Mani's interpretation of the situation.. he is a good friend. I was happy to see that. He immediately cleared the MU with Raman as well and I was happy because it wasn't dragged. Like it or not, Mani did put a few pointers into Raman's head about not being a good husband and also that Ishita is not Shagun. He was band on about the Raman's jealousy and insecurity as well.

Loved Ishita's reactions on hearing that Raman had met with an accident. She was so natural there.. my heart went out to her.

All in all a MU clearing episode for me yesterday while a few were being created as well. Thanks once again for a beautiful review!

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Eyes-Wide-Shut

@Eyes-Wide-Shut

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: shalu79
Awesome n much needed post⭐️
!00% Agree with u👍🏼

Thank you!! 😊

Edited by Eyes-Wide-Shut - 11 years ago

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Eyes-Wide-Shut

@Eyes-Wide-Shut

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: -Hima-
Beautifully written!
I was happy with yesterday's episode for the following reasons:

First, Raman reacted like an insecure man in love who believed he would be rejected. He wanted to reject her before he could be rejected and he threw the bracelet away.. how touching was that! My heart went out to both of them there. It was the insecurity and the anticipation of heartache that Raman felt when he rejected the bracelet. I just loved that scene because he did not hide it anymore. He brought out his frustration and made Ishita know that he was hurting. So far, he just gave a few glimpses of being jealous but she did not know how it was burning him up. It was important that he lets her know that and he did. I couldn't agree more, for the very first time he is not going back in his shell and 'acting' out! @Bold And how brilliant of you to come up with this analogy, he wanted to reject her before he could be rejected 👏

Ishita's reaction at being called a liar was very touching. She was oblivious all these days about the intensity of Raman's jealousy towards her friendship with Mani and yesterday she got a jhalak of what her Raavan Kumar was feeling. It was a sort of clearing of MUs for me yesterday. That's what I thought yesterday's grief served to clear a little dust, not all but just a little.

I was happy she conveyed it to her friend about her feelings for her husband and Mani's interpretation of the situation.. he is a good friend. I was happy to see that. He immediately cleared the MU with Raman as well and I was happy because it wasn't dragged. Like it or not, Mani did put a few pointers into Raman's head about not being a good husband and also that Ishita is not Shagun. He was band on about the Raman's jealousy and insecurity as well. It often happens that we get so complacent in our relationships that sometimes we need an 'outsider' to point out the obvious. Raman obviously loves Ishita and knows that there is no comparison between Shagun and Ishita. Since we tend to take our loved ones for granted, it just becomes imperative for a fresh perspective even if it is to point out the obvious.

Loved Ishita's reactions on hearing that Raman had met with an accident. She was so natural there.. my heart went out to her.

All in all a MU clearing episode for me yesterday while a few were being created as well. Thanks once again for a beautiful review!

Hello Hima!! Very thorough and detailed analysis 😊 I replied in Red!

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