Posted:
zabaan se keh rahe hain, 'hum tumhaare ho nahin sakte'
nigaahon se magar kuch aur wo farmaaye jaate hain.
nigaahon se magar kuch aur wo farmaaye jaate hain.
(he says with his words, "I can't be yours."
but his eyes tell me another tale)
-x-
Secluded corners, stolen moments, and a whole loads of 'maybes' but never the 'definitely'. So tell me, why him?
I can't deny he's all kinds of bad. He's rude, he's arrogant, he's egoistic, he's a monster. Completely off-limits. He doesn't let me run away. He pulls and pushes, drives me to the breaking point. He has driven me to the breaking point many times. I owe him so many restless nights and helpless tears. He's had me puzzled and weak. He's had me question my own self. He made me ask the question no one wants to ask themselves, "Where has that girl gone?"
The same way I can't deny that he ignites me. His mere presence in front of me burns a fire in my very bones. He pushed me on the ground, enabling me to stand up again. He pushed, I stood. Now he can no longer push me that bad which will make me fall. He took the girl who chased the fireflies and turned her into someone who discovered that she has enough strength to take on the world if need comes. I owe him my voice which spoke out, hands that pushed back, and resolve that didn't shatter.
How can I deny that he changed? Or rather, he showed his true self to me. How can I turn a blind eye to the fact that deep inside, he's just a soul who needs some understanding? How can I ignore the way he peace dawned on his face whenever I told him what he needed to hear? How can I just avoid his need when he reaches out to me, to say something, to hear something in return? How can I not notice the way his touch changed, from being a mean of pain to the soothing balm?
I won't deny that the way he looks at me, it sets my soul on fire. I won't deny how his simple touch pulls me closer to him. I won't deny how he makes me fight and ultimately lose against myself. I won't deny that he only gives me moments of such pleasure and then ignores it as if it didn't exist. I won't deny that what we have is completely hidden from the world. I won't deny the possibility that it can never be something more open.
Like how I can't deny that after the stolen moments in the secluded corners with no promises for a definite future, his eyes follow me around the room with a wish sparkling in them. A wish for the seemingly impossible. The wish to take this feeling which consumes us and show it to the world.
'Why him?'
Why not him?
I will not deny that if it's not him, it can be no one else.
I can not deny that he has set me free in so many ways.
Deny him and I deny myself.
Deny myself, that I shall never do.
-x-
fin.
I can't deny he's all kinds of bad. He's rude, he's arrogant, he's egoistic, he's a monster. Completely off-limits. He doesn't let me run away. He pulls and pushes, drives me to the breaking point. He has driven me to the breaking point many times. I owe him so many restless nights and helpless tears. He's had me puzzled and weak. He's had me question my own self. He made me ask the question no one wants to ask themselves, "Where has that girl gone?"
The same way I can't deny that he ignites me. His mere presence in front of me burns a fire in my very bones. He pushed me on the ground, enabling me to stand up again. He pushed, I stood. Now he can no longer push me that bad which will make me fall. He took the girl who chased the fireflies and turned her into someone who discovered that she has enough strength to take on the world if need comes. I owe him my voice which spoke out, hands that pushed back, and resolve that didn't shatter.
How can I deny that he changed? Or rather, he showed his true self to me. How can I turn a blind eye to the fact that deep inside, he's just a soul who needs some understanding? How can I ignore the way he peace dawned on his face whenever I told him what he needed to hear? How can I just avoid his need when he reaches out to me, to say something, to hear something in return? How can I not notice the way his touch changed, from being a mean of pain to the soothing balm?
I won't deny that the way he looks at me, it sets my soul on fire. I won't deny how his simple touch pulls me closer to him. I won't deny how he makes me fight and ultimately lose against myself. I won't deny that he only gives me moments of such pleasure and then ignores it as if it didn't exist. I won't deny that what we have is completely hidden from the world. I won't deny the possibility that it can never be something more open.
Like how I can't deny that after the stolen moments in the secluded corners with no promises for a definite future, his eyes follow me around the room with a wish sparkling in them. A wish for the seemingly impossible. The wish to take this feeling which consumes us and show it to the world.
'Why him?'
Why not him?
I will not deny that if it's not him, it can be no one else.
I can not deny that he has set me free in so many ways.
Deny him and I deny myself.
Deny myself, that I shall never do.
-x-
fin.
Cricket
