Arnav came back surprisingly early today. Normaly he would be received by a very chirpy Khushi who would come running to him, attending to his every need but today he felt disappointment not seeing her around. He assume she must be busy with Maya so he went up straight to his room. He sat on the recliner removing his shoes. Suddenly something on top of his bed caught his attention, He remembered early in the morning when he left there wasn't anything there so he assumed maybe Khushi or Anjali would have put it up there. It was a huge portrait of them during the ghar parvesh rasam which was he was carrying her in his arm. He didn't know when they clicked the photo but was glad that someone actually did. It was somewhat a remembrance of their wedding day which has actually passed more than 2 months.
Their relationship had been progressing gradually in a good rate though not in a intimate level. Though she had been a dutiful wife but she was more of loving and caring mom and also a very good bahu for the family. She had always taken care of each and every one of his family members and always putting every one before her. Her relationship with him was still a question mark all though he had decided to put the past behind he had still not revealed the most important truth about him and Lavanya to her yet as he had not gotten the right opportunity or time yet. Then again he realized that she was also holding up some things and wished she would be open about herself too. He knew she had some secrets which she had not shared with him such as why she had received such a large amount of money before the marriage but then again he did not wish to question her or find out from her investigation file as he believed that she had her own reasons for it and with out a doubt she dint seem like a materialistic person.
On a intimate front he would be lying if he said he was not attracted to her and at times he felt his control slip by just watching her but he did not want to scare her yet by getting close without properly declaring their feelings though at times he could feel that she was also attracted to him.
Then he wondered of course they cant get close if she sleeps in Mayas room and It was one of the reasons of their detachment because they don't share any kind of bond or intimacy other than being husband and wife for the world but a very cordial relationship in private.
He walked through the rooms finding for khushi but she was no where than he went to nani's room and saw Maya sleeping beside nani who is reading a book but Khushi was also no where to be found. Sensing some one at the door, Nani looked up at him and gave him an affectionate smile. "chotey. .come in..why are you standing there?"
"ji nani.." he walked in the room as he sat beside maya and caressed her head.Seeing her grandson love towards his daughter she smile lovingly at them and asked him " you are early today! "
"I dint have much work..so just thought of coming back early. .plus its been a long time I spend time with my family. ." He gave her slight smile as he carried Maya who was awake in his arm as she spoke to him in her own language.
"hmmm. you are right..acha now tell me..how are you?
"how am I? I am fine nani. .what would go wrong with me as long as I have you. ." he smiled as nani ruffled his hair.
"I mean how are you and Khushi. .is everything ok with you both? shes a very sweet girl chotey. ."
"nani...all is fine..you dont worry and how do I know if she is sweet? its not I have eaten her naa.."
"chup..badmash. .is this how you talk to your nani.." she laughed heartily with him joining her.
He cupped his nani's hand in his and slowly spoke " all is fine..you just be happy!"
"I will if you give me another grandson. ."
"ohhh..if you want a grandson no worries. .I will ask di to get you one..tik hai?I am sure she would be glad..."
"chotey.." she hit him playfully, she was about to continue he quickly cut trying to disperse the topic.
"where is di..she is no where around to be seen. .?"
"she and ansh went to Aansh friend's birthday party. .they will be back in a while.."
"ok..khushi.." he bit his tongue as his words slipped before he could realize..
"Don't tell me you don't know?" nani asked with a questioning gaze but continued " she went to where every day she goes naa.."
He was curious to know where she went but it would look like he was an irresponsible husband who dint know where his wife is so he just nodded like he knew.
"ok nani..I will go freshen up first..can you take care of Maya or do you want me to bring her with me..?
"its ok bituwa...I will watch her..you carry on. " she smiled gently carrying Maya from his arms.
He smiled and walked out deep in thoughts. He wondered where did she go everyday? she had never told him anything and he also never questioned her regarding what she did in the day when he was not around. He had always assumed that she was busy with Maya and the family. Now he realized how much he failed in trying to work out this relationship. Heck he did not even know what she worked as before marrying him, her likes and dislikes, whether she was happy in this house! "shit, so much for giving a chance for the relationship? "he thought. He was also disappointment that without knowing her enough he desired her. "what kind of man was he?" then answered himself " a caveman with full carnal desire". He felt ashamed of his self that despite being her friend who forgot his past he had never initiated to dig thru, never bothered to find out about the past they shared.
Looking up to the time that she had shared a tinsy bit of their past, getting to know of him better by asking him things regarding himself, preparing every need of his before hand when she didn't have to yet she did with a smile as a duty full wife.
His train of thoughts broke when he collided into someone tough. "kya hua sale saab? you look lost?" shyam Manahor jha stood looking at him concernly.
"owh jijaji..no everything is fine..just thinking about something"giving his brother in law a meek smile
"are you looking for Khushi ji" shyam touched the object of his thoughts.
"erm ya...Actually its getting quite late and she has not return yet. Maya also would be waiting for her, since di is not here yet!" arnav stated still deep in his thoughts.
"now is the time to put some poison in his mind" shyam snided in his mind as he saw Arnav's distraught state and also had heard Arnav's conversation with nani earlier, he also know that Arnav dint know what was his wife doing was an added advantage because he had mastered Arnavs behavior. When he was angry he never thinks and lets say if things go out of hand he could just turn the story on by telling I dint say anything wrong but stated the obvious innocently.
"owh isn't this normal saale saab. She always comes back late. Don't you know? I am sure you know where she goes right since no one questions her thinking that you accepted it as a part of your marriage. I know its absurd since she should be committed to her marriage life but sometimes one cant help it if they love and care about someone close to them.
That was his undoing, when he heard the word love and care someone else. He clenched his fist in anger but not showing anything in front of shyam he just nodded and took off from there as he needed a fresh of breath air. His mind was clouded with all kinds of negativity.As he paced around the poolside furiously he wondered are things repeating itself again, was he failing again? why when he wanted to give happiness a chance, again it back fires? how much more he needs to loose? was Khushi the same? feeling frustrated he slammed the vase nearby to the floor.
"Arnav why dont you listen to me?"
"why cant you spare some time with me?"
"am I fat and ugly?"
"you treat me differently after Maya is born Arnav"
"I miss the old times Arnav"
"is the business more important than me and the baby?"
"its like I never exist for you?"
"we only spent time at night while you are doing me? am I just a mere body to you which has no feelings. Am I here just to full fill your lust?"
"Lavanyaaa..."
He yelled as he recalled his past with Lavanya and kicked the pool side table. He slide down as he felt in exhaustion thinking about how his and Lavanya's relationship Detroit. She had mistaken him for being busy thinking that he dint want her. if only she knew that AR was going thru a few failed deals and was going on lost. He worked hard so that he could give them a comfortable life. If he dint work hard at that period of time not only his family will suffer but millions of his employee would have suffered too. he thought making love to her was one of his ways he showed he loved her but he never expected her to take it that he was only satisfying his needs and had left him. Just like that. Like he and Maya had never meant a thing to her but despite all that there was a nagging feeling in his heart that how Lavanya could do this? Arnav and Maya meant the world to her. But as always he put it away considering that Lavanya was a selfish bitch who only thought about herself and nobody else.
Carrying a large bottle of whiskey in one hand, He opened the lock with his key and went inside the forbidden room. The interior of the room was so majestic just like the way Lavanya wanted it. Large king size bed in the middle of it, with a dangling chandelier right on top, a coffee table with two chairs beside the large window decorated with thick gold and maroon drapes, photos collages of him, her and Maya covering an entire side of the wall, at the far corner was the build in closet with attached bathroom. The room was so huge that even a house can be built out of its space. He dragged his feet on the fully covered plush carpet as he stood facing the large portrait on the wall right above the bed. A photo of him and Lavanya during their grand wedding ceremony staring right back at him. He stared at the photo so long as he took large gulps of his drink. He laughed in mockery thinking what a fake life he had been living with her. Swaying he moved to the closet area and pulled a piece of letter, the last memory Lavanya had left him which had shaken his world upside.
I am sorry Arnav.
I need to go. I am in love with NK and he means the world to me. I cant sacrifice my happiness for you or anyone else. I am done being fake. I cant do this anymore. You were never there when I needed you and I found solace in NK.Your love seemed to have fade away and trust me when I say this I really tried hard but it is not working. Your excuses of being busy only made my relationship with NK grow. Now I am revocably In love with him that I dont care what is right or what is wrong. All I know is I need to be with him. I know you would hate me but I dont care. Just do me a favor, Love maya for me as well. I know I am a bad mother but I also know that you are the best father she could ever get. I am leaving her with you because I dont want to burden myself with extra baggage. Dont try to find me as I will be changing my identity and don't make this hard for both of us.Hope you could understand my feelings and let me go.
Sorry and Good Bye
tc.
He stared hard at the crumbling piece of paper which was typed by Lavanya. He had read it uncountable times but it always hurt like the first time. He chucked back the letter into the jewelery box and came back again to the bed. His eyes was red as he gulped again his whiskey and laid on the bed. Though the bed had a musky smell he could still feel Lavanya's smell lingering in it.
"why...why..? " he screamed in agony. This time he was not thinking about Lavanya only but khushi. He thought he could share a different kind of relationship with her, yes he had not said he loved her because he did not know for sure if he did. Yet he knew khushi had grown in him, he wanted her to be part of his life , he was very smitten and attracted by her charming personality that he was willing to let go the past but now things are repeating itself. Feeling angry he roused from the bed, he need to sort this out before its too late.
He was still standing in-front the bed staring at the portrait, his mind busy figuring out how is he going to handle because he was not sure what was exactly happening.
Khushi just came back and after checking if Maya is alright she walked to her room because Nani told her that Arnav was back. Though she was surprised that he was back she felt happy because after a long time they could have dinner and spent some time together. She had been longing to be with him. After the promise he made that he no longer wanted her to be his daughters nanny but his wife and would try to work this relationship she was elated but she felt a tad bit of disappointment when he was always busy with work. Then again she understood that she needs to be understanding because he runs an empire not a normal employer who can spend time as he wish which made her feel more awe of him for his dedication and hardworking qualities. Plus, they have a life time ahead to spend together, she concluded in her mind and kept on chanting it every time she was irked with his busy nature. Moreover he always listened to whatever she said or narrated story of their past. She smiled to herself as she remembered Arnav's reaction. Though he said less but she could feel him trying to imagine how things would have been and smile to himself.
When she entered the room she could not find him, thinking he would be at the pool side she walked over there and gasped loudly to see the flower pot broken and also the table broken due to heavy stomping. She questioned herself what could have happen or why was he so angry that he acted so impulsively? She looked around sensing him not around she wondered where could he be and that's when she noticed the room over the other end was open though it was dimly lit.
She walked over there slowly as if in fear. When she reached over the door, she peeped into the door carefully to see whats inside nd what she saw crushed her heart a bit. Arnav stood there in the middle of the room gazing Lavanya and his gigantic portrait but she could not see his face yet. "Why is he here? is he missing her? is he sad?" she questioned herself than she answered herself. "Ofcourse he is sad, he must be missing her after all she was his wife who he married based on love. She felt bad for him and wondered how is he coping with death of a loved one. Dint she too feel the lost of the person whom she loved the most. Atleast then she knew he was still alive and happy , though she was not with him she knew he was fine and she could live with his memories, unlike him. Being in a helpless situation, even if he wanted he could not get back the love of his life how ever much he tried but in this matter she was again luckier than him again, she finally got the person whom she loved though at one part she lost him.
She did want to disturb him but apart of her could not let him to be buried in his sorrows by himself. So she walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder from the back but he did not turn for about a minute or so, Feeling withdrawn she removed her hand when suddenly she heard him ask her steely with out looking at her
" where were you?"
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Cricket
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