Immature Love says "I love you because I need you."
Mature Love says "I need you because I love you."
- Erich Fromm
"Please Sign..." the voice of lawyer broke her trance. "Huh?" she murmured. "Sign Please" He extended the pen. She took it, signed at the required places, took hold of her baby and came outside to sit on the bench in the open air.
It took some time for others to come outside. She wondered some formality, some witnesses, some signatures and her life and identity changed.
From Chennai to Delhi, from Ishita Iyyer to Ishita Bhalla, from single to married, from Ms. to Mrs., from Tamilian to Punjabi...list goes on. Even one hour before, she had not thought that there were any chances of such changes in her life.
"Ishita...Lets go Beta." she heard her new mother-in-law. She got up and entered the car. The car ride with her husband was a silent affair except for the crying of toddler she was carrying but she managed it skilfully. After all, a child can't cry in her arms. And this was in her lap since her birth...3 days ago. How could she let her cry.
He glanced sideways and saw her making his daughter sleep. He wondered if the decision of his family was really right. Well, since her birth, he has not seen his daughter properly. He doesn't even remember her face till now. He was too busy to have look at his own daughter. Well after reaching home, the first thing he will do is hold her properly and see her face, he mentally thought.
He can't fight with his wife now - about her eyes, nose, lips...whose face has she taken. But a tleast tell her photo that she is exactly her mother's copy which he can tell without even seeing his kid's face. For he always said that he wanted a daughter just look alike of her mother. At least God would have fulfilled this one wish of his..He smirked.
She read the hoarding as the car entered a society compound. 'Akaash Ganga Housing Complex' it read. So, this is her new address. She noted mentally. After getting out from the car, she waited for him to come after parking it as the house number was unknown to her. He came and saw her waiting for him. He was surprised then mentally smacked himself, how will she know his address.
He started moving and she followed. His mother was standing on the doorway waiting for them. Before she could proceed with her rituals of home coming, Raman took his daughter from his new wife's hands and went inside to his room shutting the door behind him, ignoring the calls of his family members.
Ishita felt like a sting in her heart when he snatched the kid away from her. The baby was her only hope in this new home. From last few hours, she had been holding her like anything. And now this act of his made her wonder if she will not be allowed to take the child in her lap again?
Her parents had followed them to the court. And seeing their daughter reach safely in her new home, they waived her goodbye and left giving her blessings and wishes. Her heart cried thinking about her being miles away from her family in this new world. But they had to leave so that their daughter adjusts herself in the new family.
He bolted the door of his room and sat on the bed with his daughter in his arms and her photo in front of them.
See...I told you naa. She will go on you only. I knew it. You always said that we will have a son like me but I had the setting with the God. He gave me a daughter like you. Her eyes, her lips, her nose, her hands all reflect you. Just see.
He was talking to her photo. Seeing no response, he spoke again...please see naa. Silence killed him. He called again and again but no one replied. Unable to control himself, he started crying loudly.
Why? Why you left me? Why you left us? Do you think I don't need you? Do you think we can do without you? You left us midway. I loved you but you left me. Not even me, you left our daughter also. Don't you know a daughter needs a mother. Now who will bring her up except you. Answer me. Who will give her the love of mother. Who will teach her all those things which girls come to know about from their mothers. At least, you could have stayed for her, if not for me.
His tears fell on the kid in his lap and she started crying out of fear. Raman tried to pacify her. But she didn't stop. Shhh...Beta see papa is there. He patted her back, kissed her forehead, swung her in the air, tried to change her positions but she didn't budge. In fact, her crying sounds increased and were audible in the living area now. Ishita felt the urge to rush to her but stopped herself due to her helplessness. Unable to control, Mrs. Bhalla banged on the door forcing Raman to open it. She took the child in her arms and tried to silent her by talking to her. Baby's bhuas, chachu, dadu all tried their level best but she didn't stop.
With heavy steps, she moved forward. "May I?" she asked slowly, her heart drumming fast, thinking what if the answer is no. He looked at her. She had forwarded her arms to carry his daughter, her head bent down and sorrow written all over her face. He looked at his child, tried to handle her once again but failing, finally thought of handling her to the woman standing in front. She carried her in her arms and sat on the sofa. One gentle touch from her side on her head and she calmed down. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief.
But he was the one in the state of shock. Had he lost this much in mere 3 days that his own daughter was responding to someone else's touch but not his. How is this possible? How can someone develop so much feelings in such a short time.
Later at night, he entered his bedroom after changing his night clothes and saw her lying on his bed making his daughter asleep by singing a lullaby. How he wished if there was HER in the place of this woman. He would have been the happiest person on Earth today.
She acknowledged his presence and stood up at once realizing she was on his bed. "It's ok...You can sleep here." The first words she heard from him since their court marriage in the morning. "And you?" came her instant reply. "I'll sleep on the couch." He said taking out pillow and bed sheet from the cupboard.
She laid down on the bed and checked if the kid had slept. He switched off the lights leaving a tiny night lamp on so that his daughter is not afraid if her eyes open. He wished to go and see her once but thinking that she was sleeping with that lady stooped his steps. And he went to the couch. Sleep had evaded both of them long ago. A tear trickled down his cheeks as he remembered when he first came to know about this girl Ishita Iyyer' about 3 years back.
To be continued.
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