Chapter 22I would like to dedicate this chapter to Swetha (ultimaterudra) who made this wonderful banner for me. Thank you once again, Swetha 
Aman reached the blast site and found other men scavenging for whatever was left off the jeep. The fire has died down. They found some jewellery along with the remnants of Rudra's rucksack. Most of it had melted in the heat. They also found his gun in the dashboard of the jeep. They didn't find any indication of Rudra and Paro being burnt along with the jeep. So Aman concluded that they managed to escape to safety but had no survival gear or any means to communicate or weapons for self defence. He sent his men in different directions and himself went towards Birpur as that was the closest village.
Rudra heard another jeep cross the house, he knew it was Tejawat's men looking for them. They wanted to make sure that Paro was dead. But she was safe with her head on his shoulder, fast asleep. How did she manage that? He was tired too, he forced his eyes to stay open. He had to be alert and watch for his enemies gathering like vultures. She could sleep peacefully because she trusted that her rakshak will take care of her. He wouldn't let her down. He looked around to see if anything can be used if it comes to a fight. He shouldn't have left his gun behind. He now had to defend himself and Paro with broken furniture.
He heard the jeep pull over. Their visitor will be stepping in anytime. "Paro, wake up, someone is here" he gently nudged her. She woke up with a fright. He guided her quickly the nearest closet, "Hide here till I come for you". She wasn't ready to let go and he could feel her heart pounding. He grabbed a stick from somewhere and handed it to her, "You remember how you whacked me on the head during the mela?" He wanted to bring that now, she thought flabbergasted. "The same way, if someone opens the door, hit them. Don't waste time thinking. Ok?" he gave instructions and picked up another stick and left her as she closed the door.
Aman got off the jeep, they had to be here, he pushed open the door as it creaked open. He switched on his flashlight. Rudra saw the light, he realised that there only one person out there, could it be Aman, looking for them or one of Tejawat's scouts? He had to make sure. He tapped the stick on the floor one soft tap followed a loud one, his signal for his junior. He saw the light go off as Aman stepped into the soft firelight. "Is Paro alright?" he asked anxiously. Rudra nodded and lead him over to the wardrobe.
Paro heard two sets of footsteps, one firm and the other soft. "Jai bholenath!" with a prayer she shut her eyes and swung the stick as the door opened. Rudra grabbed it just in time. She opened her eyes to see Aman and she rushed to him. "Are you alright?" he asked concerned. "I was so scared. I thought Tejawat had found us" she confessed. Aman suggested that they go home and lead her to the jeep.
Rudra was a little offended, he made sure she was safe and armed before going to the door. What was there to be scared about, stupid girl. He was silent on the drive back as Aman called off the hunt. Once they reached, he lead her to his tent and asked her to change. She realised he was angry, perhaps he was upset at the trouble she caused."Thank you for taking me to Birpur even though it was dangerous" she said. He nodded grimly and turned to leave.
Aman was waiting in his office to report his findings at the farm. He briefed him on the boxes they found and Sumer's guess that it could be a part of the weapons trail. "Was he useful? Can we count on Sumer?" he enquired. Yes, he was though he seemed to rely on luck than working on anything. "He'll need luck on his side, Aman. We won't be by his side" he reassured his junior. He quickly worked out a plan to get him to Jaipur.
A constable brought two plates of dinner to his cabin. "Take this to Paro, she'll be hungry" he told Aman. But Aman hesitated, Kavya was leaving to Dehradun with her family, he wanted to see her off. He saw the expression on Rudra's face and felt the need to explain she was a nice girl and he wanted to keep in touch. "Her family is not thinking of you as a good friend, you know that right?" Rudra asked. Aman nodded, he wanted to know her better before introducing her to his mother and taking things further.
"Bhaisa, come in" she called out before realising it was Rudra. He had brought her dinner over. "He had some personal work to attend to. So he already left", he explained. What personal work she wondered, was it regarding Kavya. She wished she had noticed the girl who got her brother's attention that night. Maybe he has gone to see her again. "Thank you, but its late, I must get home soon", she said gathering her things together. He didn't want her to go yet, "No, I thought it would be best if you stay here as its safer." There were guards on duty at home for her safety, she reminded him. "Sir and his wife aren't back yet. So she will get bored," he countered. More boring than an army tent? she laughed. Only she would find a reason to laugh after the day she had, he shook his head. Though it was nice to hear it. She walked up to him and told him calmly "Rudra, I'm sure you are in enough trouble as it is because of the Birpur trip and the bomb blast, if I stay, maasaji will have another reason to be angry with you." His smile was filled with mischief as he told her, she will not be mentioned in the reports at all and unless she tells the general, he will never find out. "You are going to lie? To your boss?" she was shocked. He stepped closer to her, she could see the excitement in his eyes. "I printed a fake warrant to raid Tejawat's Haveli. I blew up a jeep to fake your death. I had my aunt plan our wedding just to break your indomitable spirit. I'm a Jallad, have you forgotten. I always do things my way, without letting the rules bother me." She fell on his bed, without realising how far back, she had walked. In the face of the man still hovering above her she saw the jallad not her rakshak. It reminded her of the day he bought bangles for her. It was a gift that a lover gives to his beloved not what a man uses to force his enemy into submission. Her heart knew then he was not her foe and that he will never hurt her. She didn't have to push him away. Today she didn't want to and that thought scared her.
Rudra stepped back to observe the effect. He knew this was wrong, he was invading her personal space, making her feel vulnerable. But he couldn't help it, just like the day he decorated their home for their wedding. She had brought tea for him that morning, some of it fell on her cheek as he grabbed her. That was the first time he thought of her as his. He knew then he was claiming a right she didn't grant him but one that he wanted so badly. He wanted to kiss it off her cheek but had to settle for wiping it off instead. She had such simple expectations from life. She only wanted a loving husband, a nice home and a family of her own. He could give her all that and she would stay with him forever. A few months ago it would have a been a mutual punishment if they had gone through the wedding, but now everything was different. He was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Her eyes had a look of guileless curiosity and simple innocence. She knew they were playing a game where he press the buttons and wait for the fireworks from her end. She knew whatever he says or does, he will never hurt her. He took her hands in his and placed them on her lap and kneeling in front of her. " You don't have red bangles in your room" he stated. She was puzzled, how did he know she was thinking of red bangles. He was playing with the yellow and gold ones on her hands.
"I don't wear them anymore. They lost their meaning" she told him softly. He smiled, bangles were meant to just look pretty and make a clinking noise, he said shaking her hands to show her. "Not red bangles, they symbolize marital bliss. They are a promise made by a man to his bride to fill her life with the colours of his love." She blushed as she remembered wondering, if he meant all this that day, when he placed them on her wrists with so much care and tenderness. She got up and walked away avoiding his intense gaze.
Rudra didn't understand why she was so sad about it. She can buy them or he can buy it for her if she wants. "No, Rudra, you don't have to. They have lost their meaning. Now they are represent only shattered dreams" she told him sadly. He felt bad as he was the one who shattered them and then walked over them so callously. And now she was blaming destiny and thought she didn't deserve to have a nice home and family of her own. "Don't feel bad for me, Rudra. Those dreams had to be shattered. They didn't let me see what was real. They made think Varun was the good guy who cared about me and you were the bad one out to destroy me" reading his mind. He gave her an awkward smile, her words made him uneasy especially since he was the bad guy intent on destroying her at one point. "You should eat" he said and turned to leave.
"Are you leaving me alone? You were the one who wanted me to stay" she was scared to be alone especially after the day they had. She needed the comfort of his presence. "Paro, I can't stay here with you here. I'll be in my cabin there" he pointed out through the window. "It looks bad if we stay together like this" he needed to put a little distance between them. He was scared, the more he let her in, the more it would hurt when she leaves. But the look in her doe-like eyes had him rooted at the spot. "Its not the first time that we have spent the night together" she said innocently unaware of how each night spent with her left him tortured with fantasies involving her. She was still unaware of much of a Jallad he could be.
"I'll finish my dinner and return then, I will stay for awhile," he was compromised. He went back to his cabin. He needed to breathe a scent that wasn't her, feel a touch that wasn't as delicate as a butterfly's wing. It felt like he was living a dream and was scared everything will be different when he wakes up. He wanted nothing more than to spend every moment of his life with her. He wished he could turn back time and that they were back in his home and her presence there was his little secret. He had to go back, she was waiting for him and he couldn't stay away.
"So, you don't like her did you, Gautami? From Birpur?" She looked up and saw that he was back. She had just made a some tea for both of them. She offered him a cup, "Why are you asking me about her?" she was curious. Was it because she was chosen to play Maru instead of her in the play, he tried to guess. It was just a play, it didn't matter. "I would have made you Maru. You are more beautiful" he said brushing a strand of hair off her face. She looked into eyes to see various emotions swirling in its depths. She could spend her entire life just sipping tea, looking into his eyes and be perfectly content. If only she receives a sign that, this I where she is supposed to be, she stay with this man forever.
"Taller, I was too tall to play the female lead. So I ended up being Dhola" she broke the silence. So she did want to be Maru and hence saw the girl as her rival hence the annoyed expression on her face earlier. Paro didn't want to admit that his reaction to Gatu bhaisa was the reason for her annoyance. "It was one of favourite stories. I loved how Dhola came for his bride even after so many years. They faced so much hardship but in the end love won the day. It was nice to imagine that some boy will sweep me off my feet and make my dreams come true. You think it is silly don't you?" she was embarrassed as she told him of her girlish fantasy. He smiled at her discomfiture and reassured her "Maybe there is some boy whose life you have touched like Maru did Dhola's and he may come for you. And you will have the house and the two children you wanted."
His words reminded her of a little boy in a bus who seemed heart broken. For some reason, his pain touched her and she felt it like it was her own. She wanted to reach out to him and tell him that things will get better. But the best she could do was to give him her favourite doll. And that cheered him up and he was smiling when his bus moved. Whatever happened to that boy, did life give him joy again, did he remember her?
"Paro, Paro!" he brought her out of her thoughts. He lead her to bed and tucked her in. "Rudra, where will you sleep?" she asked afraid that he will leave. "I'll sleep on this chair, like last time" he assured her. She fell asleep thinking about that little boy in the bus stop and wondered if he was rough around the edges like Rudra or kind and soft spoken like Aman. He went to sleep thinking of the girl who tossed him the doll wondering if she was scared of red bangles too.
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