what should be gents first choice wife? or mother? - Page 2

But more importantly how did this question come up? What I learn is both wife as well as mother don't feel secure and they don't want to share the love they have for the man with the other person. We also see the quarrel between MIL and DIL is something discussed a lot. At the same time, we don't talk too much about the quarrel between father-in-law and son-in-law. A woman is not asked whom she has to choose - Husband or father? Why is it so? Because neither her husband nor her father believe she is going to give security for one or the other. But then the mother in her old age expects her son to be on her side for her security and the wife in her new home expects her husband to be on her side for her security. As far a woman, she is told to give priority to her husband because even her father believes the husband is to give her security and the husband has to take financial responsibility for her.

One truth is the wife as well as the mother are adults. The man is also an adult. An adult does not give priority to another adult if he/she thinks maturely. Children need to be given priority for taking care but not adults. Because of this point, the question itself doesn't become important. But immature minds call for an answer and make one or the other answer. Neither the husband is mature in many cases.

if we consider, each human being has a child inside him/her, the child within the man will be more familiar with the ways of his mom and so less scared of his mom, and thus an immature man could side his mom. That is the case unless his wife shows more maturity and understanding and takes her husband to her side playing his own game. At the same time, these days we see a lot of families in which the wife also thinks in a similar line. This has happened because the society is changing a lot and there are women who go for work as well as unemployed women. Unemployed women could feel more insecure in the husband's home and could feel she was more happy with her father because the child within her is more familiar with her father's ways. Of course there are also man's parents who want him to give more priority for them, and for that they even expect him to put down his wife and some scared men do that also.

What is important here is not to look for one or the other rules. Each person, both male and female has to see how he/she can become more caring, compassionate, gentle, tender and understanding and thus become more mature and in that situation will know what is the better choice. These days marriages can be built only when each person takes the opportunity to become more mature and understanding and not look into some old rules. No body could make decision for another person.