jokes

hi,i just want to share some jokes .i donot know where can i post them so i just ost them in viruddh..--------------- ......................................................

."U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband.
And the one u loved becomes the password of Ur mail id"
---------------
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
---------------
If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its ok,
If someone says u r genius slap him as tight as you can n say there
is a limit of kidding n u r now crossing the limit.
---------------
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
---------------
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
---------------
What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
---------------
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or
wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.
---------------
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter
speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut