Epilogue
She closed her eyes in pure ecstasy, savoring the feel of him against her. The exquisite sensation escalated more. This is the only time he gives himself to her, without holding back anything. This is the only time she feels him, only him, whole of him. This is the only time she feels complete.
Her hands reached to his back, pushing him more on her. His hot skin burning against her palm. She felt his lips leaving burning kisses all over her throat, making her arch her neck, giving him more expanse of her skin. His strong arms around her tried to mould her to him, desperate. He wants her. He needs her. This is the only time she lives the feeling of being needed, being wanted. Soon multiple stars burst behind her closed eyelids and her breathing became harsh as she lay there gratified.
As a groaning sound reverberated in the dark room, she felt his weight collapse against her. And like a thirsty land desperate to embrace every drop of water, her satiated frame tried to absorb him, her arms cradling him close to her chest.
A lone tear escaped from the corner of her eyes as she tilted her head down to look at the man breathing against her skin. As his face rested on her bosom, she ran her fingers in his dense hair, her other hand around his shoulder, holding him against her.
The tear didn't reflect any pain. The tear mirrored happiness, happiness of giving this man something, the man who has given her everything. He has given her a new life, a life she thought she will never have. He, forgetting about his pain, had built a life for her, for her daughter. For his daughter. Khushi corrected herself and smiled. Saara is his daughter, Arnav Singh Raizada's daughter. And everyone who knows Arnav Singh Raizada knows this. He had made sure that everyone knows this. From the newly appointed driver to his business associates. Everyone!
And he need not speak to convey that. It shows in his every gesture. His love, his care, his tenderness, his fatherly pride.
The tears accumulated in her eyes again. This time it held a pinch of pain. Pain for her. Her arms around him tightened as she rested her cheek on his soft hair. She still feels the distance between them. He is still holding himself from her. He shows Saara that he loves her, but what about her? He had never cleared her stand in his life. Never vocalized his feeling for her, and he is too mysterious for her to decode his unsaid feelings.
So , everyday, she waits for this time of the day. The only time he reaches for her, shows that he needs her, wants her in his life. And she, like a parched land, gives herself to him. To feel him, to bask in the feeling of being wanted.
She looked down at him. Making him lay on the bed, she picked his black shirt from the floor and wore it. Pulling the quilt , she covered him properly and getting off the bed, she made her way towards the poolside, his favorite place.
As she stood near the pool, the cool air playing with her hair and caressing her soft skin, she stared at the star which twinkled the brightest. She smiled. She was sure that star twinkling the brightest is her father. He must be happy, very happy. It is because of him that she has Arnav ji in her life. She still remembered the day they had reached here and her father had stopped Arnav ji from going back to Kashmir, giving the danger to his life a reason. He knew what Akash Wazir and his politician father were capable of. And surprisingly, after few minutes of persuasion, Arnav ji had given in. Everything was going normal. Her father had offered him a job in his textile company and Arnav ji had accepted that. She was happy with her daughter, after all, that is what she wanted. A good life for her daughter. But Saara had grown fond of Arnav ji and Arnav ji too never rebuked her. Always there to help her, always there to listen to her nonstop chatter, his presence alone was enough to bring a smile on her daughter's face.
But everything had changed the day her father had the heart stroke. She don't know what he had said to Arnav ji. And Arnav ji never bothered to share it with her. But after two months of his demise, Arnav ji had proposed her for marriage. She was not sure why he took the decision of marrying her, but one look in his eyes and she knew it was not his decision. And she had agreed for the same unknown reason which was known to him.
But , once again, everything had changed after their marriage. She don't know how much for him, but it had completely changed for her. Maybe because of his past he had shared with her. It was their wedding night, and as he knew everything about her, he wanted her to know everything about him. He is a well educated man, holding a degree in MBA. This she had known when she had seen his degree in his cottage, but the thought of such educated man living in woods and doing hardship to meet his daily needs had always been a mystery for her. And that night he had solved the mystery. It was about his family. His sister, brother-in-law and his 3 year old niece. They had gone Kashmir to enjoy their vacation and he was to join them in few days. But that day never came and he lost his only family. It was some riot in Kashmir in which he lost his family. And after that he never returned back to his home town, Delhi. He had told her everything as if reciting a story, no emotion, no sorrow, no grief. He had lived four years with this, and all the tears and emotions had died inside him. Maybe this is the reason he wanted to live alone, never wanting to associate with anyone, so that he can never go through that heartbreak again. May be this is the reason he tried his best to distance himself from Saara. But he failed. Saara made a place inside his heart, a place only for her.
Khushi sat on the chair, staring at the calm water. But what about her? What's her place in his life? She had never bothered about this, as she knew their marriage was some promise her father had asked and he had obliged. But after 2 years of their marriage, everything has changed. Now she wants him to see her as his wife, as she sees him as her husband. But she don't know what he thinks for her. Is night the only time she will have him?
She hugged herself as a gust of cold wind touched passed her. But he makes up for everything in these few hours he gives her. He gives himself to her. It feels like he forgets all his worries in this moment which he spends with her. And she is more than happy to give him that. He is giving her daughter a father, loving her, protecting her small world and in return she is ready to give him anything he wants from her. And she is ready to live with this uncertainty all her life.
Getting up from the chair, she again entered their room. Slipping beside him, she pulled the quilt over her and snuggled close to him. And his arms, on its own accord, came around her to pull her closer to him. She smiled and happily allowed him to enclose her in his warm arms.
...
"Daddy you know today there's a parents meeting?" Saara asked in her sweet voice as she snuggled close to her father , who sat on the couch, with his laptop on his lap.
Arnav nodded his head, his eyes still fixed on the screen.
"You will come na? It's after school, at 4 pm." Saara informed again.
Arnav again nodded, which irritated Saara.
"Say something na!"
"I will. How many times to tell you. This is the fifth time you are asking me." Arnav replied in a clam voice.
"I was just checking, what if you forget?"
"I will not. Go and get your breakfast. Then I will drop you to your school and I will return back by 2 and after picking your Mom, we will be at your school on time. "
Saara smiled and planting a kiss on her father's cheek, she sprinted off from there.
...
Khushi placed the last neatly folded shirt in the cupboard and closed it. She looked at the digital clock on the table, it was showing 1:30 and she need to get ready for the parents meeting, Arnav ji will be here anytime. Opening the cupboard again, she removed one saree and was about to enter the bathroom when she heard a knock at the door. Keeping the saree on the bed, she moved towards the door.
"Ji Hari Prakash ji?" Khushi smiled at him.
"Ji, Khushi ji, there's a parcel for you." HP forwarded the brown envelop.
Khushi took the envelop and thanked him. It was a report from her routine checkup. Closing the door, she opened the envelop and unfolded the paper.
The paper fell from her hand, her legs turning weak. Her eyes landed on the paper lying on the floor. This can't be. She had never missed her meds, so how can this? This was the only thing he had asked from her and she broke her promise.
Khushi heard the faint voice of footstep and an unknown fear slipped inside her. Bending down she hurriedly picked the paper and crumpled in her fist.
"You are not ready yet?" Arnav ji's voice reached her ear and panicked tears slipped from her eyes.
"I...I...I ... you go, Arnav ji ... I don't think I can come ... My head ..I am having a headache..."
Arnav's concerned eyes lingered on her back as her voice trembled. He walked towards her and stood an inch away from her.
"What happened? Why are your hands trembling?" Arnav asked as his eyes landed on her hands. He looked at the paper tightly held in her fist. Bending little, he took the paper from her hand.
Khushi closed her eyes as her lips quivered and tears escaped from her eyes. And before she can think any further, she felt herself move swiftly and stood facing him.
"What is this Khushi?!!" Arnav asked through his gritted teeth.
Khushi kept her eyes closed as the tears dampened her cheek.
"Arnav ji...I ... I ...I am .sorr"
"I have told you. I have told you everything clearly. And you had promised, dammit!! How can you?!!"
"Arnav ji ...I..." she opened her eyes to look in his ragging one. "I..."
"I don't want this child.."
Khushi's eyes widened in shock.
"Arnav ji..you ..." she shook her head as words refused to form through her chocked throat.
"I said. I don't want this child." his determined eyes bore holes in her trembling figure.
Arnav looked in her pleading eyes, conveying her hurt and pain and before he can say anything further, he felt her entire weight on him, her arms clinging around his neck.
"Please...please Arnav ji ..don't say that... I am sorry for breaking my promise but don't punish the baby... I am sorry ... I am sorry ..." she clung to him, her words desperate, desperate to convince him. She is guilty of breaking her promise, his trust, but he cannot punish her unborn child for that.
Arnav just listened to her broken pleas. His hands slowly made its way to coil around her waist.
"I don't trust myself ..."
Khushi heard what he said, but her sobs refused to die, not allowing her to say anything.
Arnav picked her and walked towards the bed. Sitting on the bed, he pulled her on his lap.
"I don't trust myself. I don't trust myself to love Saara like my own child...after this child" Arnav expressed his fear for the first time.
Khushi lifted her head from his chest to look at his face.
"I trust you ..." Khushi said softly. "I trust you more than myself. I know your love for Saara will never change. I trust you Arnav ji" her voice broke. "Please don't tell you don't want the child. " tears followed her plea.
Arnav's glassy eyes looked down at her.
"I am afraid.." Arnav said.
Lifting her hand , she cupped his face.
"I am there.."
Arnav looked in her assuring eyes.
"And I trust you ... You can trust me ..." Khushi whispered against his lips.
Has she felt his hand around her tightened, she got her answer. She rested her face against his chest as they both sat hugging each other, the silence soothing them.
...
"Daddy!!"
Both heard the voice and Khushi shifted from his lap to the bed.
"Daddy!!" Saara stood in front of her father. "You didn't came for the parents meeting" Saara pouted.
"I am sorry, child. I broke my promise." Arnav said in a sullen voice, not at all happy at breaking his promise.
Saara was about to retort when her eyes fell on her mother. She saw her red eyes and equally red nose.
"What happened Mamma?" Saara asked concerned.
"I am fine.." Khushi smiled and opened her arms. Taking the cue, Saara hugged her mother.
"Saara, we need to tell you something." Khushi said as she locked her eyes with Arnav ji.
"What is it, Mamma?" Saara asked.
"You remember you had told me you want a small baby just like your friend, Samiara has?" Khushi asked.
"Yes..." Saara nodded her head vigorously.
"You will be happy if I say you will get one soon, won't you?"
Saara stared at her mother for few seconds before throwing herself on her mother and hugging the life out of her.
"Really Mommy? I am so so so happy. Now I will tell to Samaira that I will also get one baby to play with. Wait.." she broke the hug to look at her mother. "I will call her and tell her NOW!" She jumped off the bed and sprinted from there.
Khushi looked at Arnav ji, who was looking at the door through which Saara just sprinted away.
"She is happy ..."
Khushi heard him speak. She took his hand in hers, making him look at her.
"She will be happy. Because she has you. You are the best father. Trust me , please.."
Arnav looked in her earnest eyes, eyes which only has acceptance, acceptance of everything he does and says. He has taken the decision of not having his own child without asking both of them. He had never asked Saara if she wants any sibling. He had never asked Khushi if she wants a child. All he did was, telling them what hethought was right. Was he wrong in thinking that?
"Arnav ji..."
Arnav lifted his eyes to look at her.
"You were always right. And I know you will always think about Saara and me before thinking about yourself. " standing on her knees, she hugged him. "Just always be with us. We don't need anything else.." Khushi breathed in his heavenly odor, feeling peace.
...
"Mamma" Saara pouted "Where is Daddy?" She asked, impatiently tapping her foot on the ground and looking out through the glass window.
Khushi cuddled her little bundle close to her chest and looked at Saara.
"He will be here soon, Saara. We called him just 15 minutes back. He will take time to reach here" Khushi shook her head at her daughter. They were waiting for him in the caf after their visit to the Doctor.
"There he is!" Saara shouted as she spotted her father's car coming to an halt in front of the caf. "Daddy doesn't makes us wait. He is very fast." Proudly uttering her word, she ran out of the caf as Khushi slowly collected her belongings from the table and got up.
"Daddy!!!"
Arnav turned to see his daughter running towards him.
"Daddy!" Saara hugged his waist.
"Hi, Saara, where is Mommy?" Arnav asked as he ruffled her hair.
Saara pulled from the hug and turned around.
"There's Mommy and Rehaan" Saara pointed.
Taking Saara's hand in his, he started towards his wife and 1 year old son.
"You are fine?" Arnav asked and he looked at his Son, who was jumping in his mother's arms and making sweet gurgling voices, too eager to jump on him.
Khushi smiled and handed him their son.
"Hello there little one, missed me?" he dropped several kisses on his son's loving face.
"Daddy, he turns pink after kiss. Just like Mamma" Saara giggled as she looked at her baby brother's pink face.
Arnav looked at Khushi, and true to Saara's word, she had turned all pink.
"Chale?" Arnav asked.
Khushi nodded and caught Saara's hand, as her slipped in her Arnav ji's.
...
Khushi kept her 1 year old Son in the crib and dropping a loving kiss on his forehead, she covered him properly. Standing straight she looked at the bed. He lay there, fast asleep after the tiring day. Walking towards the bed, she slipped beside him. Keeping her head on his chest, she coiled her arms around him, hugging him close. Everything has changed after Rehaan's birth. She had seen a new Arnav ji, who is more open, more expressive, more revealing. He allowed her inside his heart and to make a place for herself. Now she knows her place in his life, it's the same place he has in her life. He may have not vocalized his feelings but has made it more palpable so that she can see it herself. And she had seen.
Dropping a kiss on his slightly parted lips, she snuggled more close to him. He is her man! Her love! Her life! Her protector!
Her Armor!
Edited by shona_arhilover - 10 years ago
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