Chapter 15
She looked stunning with a royal blue saree drapped along her slender body. The silver embroidery and stone work glittered like stars. Her hair cascading along her shoulder in gentle curls. Her face had light make up which brought out her hazel eyes, making it shine and her lips a moist with a hint of gloss. He laughed to himself, shaking his head the girl didn't need make up to look lovely, she just had to smile and her entire face lights up. Her pure and kind soul and her loyal heart were her true beauty. She was the only person in his life who would be so selfless to think of the whole world before she remembered her own interests. She was capable of rising to the occasion for someone else but couldn't bring up the same resourcefulness to keep herself from danger. Self preservation was lacking in her. That's why he was always needed to shield her from every harm that came her way.
He was just standing at the doorway, looking so smart in his black suit. He was perfect in her eyes, the strong and courageous soldier who always fought for the truth no matter the cost. The handsome warrior who always stood between her and danger. She wondered why he didn't come closer, had she upset him again, she had tried to stay out of his way, out of his life, out of his home. Why was he shaking his head? Was it so hurtful to even look at her, to be in the same room as her, she became anxious. Was she not supposed to be here, would he be happier if she wasn't here at this party.
He saw her light smile fade away as sadness welled up in her eyes. Did he hurt her so much in the past? Was he so much of a Jallad to her in the beginning? Well it didn't matter anymore. She left him of her own will. First because she trusted Tejawat's words over his and then because she decided that his haveli wasn't good enough for her. Now she had no reason to cry. She was exactly where she wanted to be, far away from him. It didn't matter, he wasn't dying without her company either, he told himself. He made his way to where she stood with Aman. Silence filled the air as Rudra and Paro stood next to each other for the first time in weeks. "Good evening, sir", Aman greeted him casually and was answered with a curt nod. Aman wanted to break the ice between the two. So he started to tell Paro that the Major was just back from a very successful mission. "Don't bother telling her all this Aman, she doesn't care", Rudra stopped him from elaborating. Paro was shocked, how could he say that. He went on to say she never cared about the man she called Bapusa why would she bother about a Jallad. His hateful words stung, she was infuriated. She wanted to grab him by the collar and shake him. She wanted to scream at him till his ears bled. Instead, she just walked away.
The general and his wife came over to meet both officers pleasantries were exchanged. Aman commented on the splendid arrangements. Geethanjali told him, it was all thanks to Paro. She has such good taste. The general was more appreciative of the food than the decorations. Though nothing could top the breakfast she had planned for him with all his favorites. Geethanjali fondly remarked how wonderful it was to have her living with them. It was as if she was blessed with the daughter she always wanted. Rudra thought sullenly that there was nothing here that he couldn't offer. His father loved her more than his own son and general couldn't say the same, Vicky was his pride and joy. Though there wasn't a mother figure, his bhabhisa and Sunheri were enough to make their home a pleasant place. And now there was a baby too for her to play with. Even his kakisa managed to calm down a little since Shanti came. It was her loss if she didn't want to be a part of the Ranavat household anymore.
After a while Geethanjali told them about a nice girl she wanted Aman to meet and dragged him away. She introduced him to a pretty girl, Kavya who was the daughter of an old friend from Dehradun. The young couple matched each other in their shyness and were pushed into the dance floor by their hostess. As she was mingling with the guests, she noticed that Paro was no longer in the hall. She asked one of the waiters who told her that Paro was in the garden.
Geethanjali found the girl sitting morosely among the roses. "What's wrong, Paro? Did Rudra say something", she asked. Paro was surprised, how did she guess so easily who is responsible for her grief. Her aunt explained among the only two guests she was acquainted with Aman who never make her cry. Paro opened up and told her how Rudra thinks she doesn't care about his father, when she had to stay away from her Bapusa and jija only because of his insistance. Geethanjali felt sorry for the girl, she told her that she wanted to invite Dilsher to the party like last time but wasn't sure if Rudra will be attend. She asked her since as Sunheri's holidays will start soon, maybe she could invite her and her jija to Jaipur for a few days. Paro brightened up at that thought and told her to go back to the party. She wanted to sit under the stars for awhile.
Geethanjali got up from the garden seat and told her, "Don't let Rudra's words hurt you. Its not you he is usually angry with but himself for letting you come close to him, to mean something to him." Paro didn't understand she was just his witness, why would he feel the need to raise his defences up. Geethanjali told her that his distrust of beautiful women runs deep and that he never really got over his mother leaving his father and himself. "His heart is like this rose, soft and beautiful with so much love to give. But it is surrounded by these thorns of self doubt and insecurity which one must overcome to truly understand him. Its your choice whether you want to know him better or you will let him drive you away with his cruel barbs" she explained. Paro asked her aunt if he was ever rude to her. Geethanjali laughed and said he would never dare be rude to his general's wife, he knew better and went back to the party.
As most of the guests were seated for dinner, the general realised that Paro was not in her place and neither was his wife. Aman and Rudra offered to go look for them. Rudra saw Geethanjali ma'am and told Aman to escort her to the general and that he will find Paro.
Paro thought about the letter Rudra had written to his mother but never sent. The child was so hurt and blamed himself for his mother's disappearance. She knew exactly how that felt, her aunt had killed herself because she thought she raised an unworthy child. He was innocent but still had to face the soceity's taunts. She could never understand how a mother could just abandon her only son so easily. As an adult she couldn't bear the pain of loosing her mamisa, it must have been terrible for him to know that his mother chose to leave him. No wonder, he turned into such a Jallad who wanted to hurt anyone who came close to him.
She wondered if she was important to him as her aunt suggested. She was a simple village girl who had nothing remarkable about herself. Why would a brave and intelligent officer like him care about her? No he was just upset with her because of her closeness to his father nothing more. He didn't want to share his family with her. She saw him coming and got up immediately.
Rudra was relieved to have found her. When will she remember that her life is in danger, he thought to himself. As he got closer to her, he yelled at her, "Bewakoof ladki, what is wrong with you? Why are sitting in the dark by yourself? What if something happens to you?" She tried to walk away but he grabbed her by her arm with such a force that she crashed into him. The two were lost in each others eyes, his thoughts battled between annoyance and relief which were easily read by her. A few moments passed before they realised how closely they stood. She shoved him aside and his anger won over his concern. "Look at me when I'm talking to you. Don't you dare walk away", he shouted at her. She retorted back equibly that she was aware that he hated to have her around and didn't want to force her presence on him. He was shocked, he didn't understand how this tension between them was his fault. She proceeded to tell him that, because of him she had to stay away from bapusa and her jija though it hurt like hell for her. But she has tried very hard to rebuild her life here in Jaipur after her mamisa's death and will not give this up too, just because he doesn't like seeing her at his boss's house.
It was his fault that she stayed away from Chandangarh? Rudra didn't believe her. He asked, "Don't make excuses. You always do the exact opposite of what I tell you. I told you Tejawat was a crook, help me bring him down, you refused. I told you that your baraat had guns sign your affirmation, you refused. I told you to come with me that I will keep you safe from these terrorists, you refused. So don't act as if its my fault that you are not living with us anymore." Paro was finally clear on what the problem was, it wasn't because of the fire he was angry with her. He knew it was not her fault. He thought she has rejected him, his protection. He thought all his efforts to keep her from harm was unappreciated by her. She calmly apologised for not trusting him about Tejawat and for once he was listening. "I am sorry but you must understand how it looked for my perspective. You asked me to choose you over the man who took care of the entire village. He provided jobs, funded weddings, took care of our sick and orphaned. And all my life I thought BSD were the villains. How could I take your word against a lifetime's learning? I didn't know we were all hoodwinked. And as soon as I found out I told everybody about it." He knew this to be true. His general had told him at the start of this mission that the people of Birpur were thought from birth that BSD was the enemy. "Its my fault too. I should have tried harder to get other proof rather than force you to admit something you had no knowledge of. If Tejawat hadn't been so relentless in killing you, I might have believed you to be innocent", he admitted.
Paro asked when he realised the fire was not her fault. "The day after you left, we, bhabhisa and I found clues that made it certain that Sunheri was mistaken. I shouldn't have yelled at you in the hospital", he explained. She was so relieved that his misunderstandings were finally cleared between them. She needed him to know that the person who he always protected would never hurt him. She didn't know why it was so important for him to realise this, but it was. He saw the strange light in her eyes as she looked at him, it made him a little uneasy. It felt like she was respect, pride and gratitude and something else that scared him. She asked him if he found the actual culprit. He looked away, it didn't matter his father was all right. And she had gone missing by then, it was more important to find her at the moment. But he didn't want to admit any of this he simply said "Bapusa misses you. He wants to see you." He felt bad that he kept her away. It wasn't her decision and she was just respecting his wish. She missed his family as much as they missed her. She looked at him hopefully, was he trying to invite her to visit his family again. "You should come sometime...home I mean. Bhabhisa ... she will be happy too." She didn't mind his awkward invitation, she just hugged him on an impulse.
The wind was knocked out of him. He never saw this coming. Paro, the woman who called him a Jallad, the one who challenged him, the one whom he broke over and over again, the one who wanted to see him on his knees was hugging him. Hugging him because he had done something to make her happy. It had been too long since his actions had made someone smile. The last time a woman hugged with so much gladness was his mother, fifteen years back. He was overwhelmed by her gesture and awkwardly hugged back. It felt good to be appreciated. It made him feel like the hero, as if he deserved to be admired, to be cherished, to be loved even. And that was his true danger, she could take over his life with her sweet and gentle ways and eventually leave him in the dust like his mother did. "Its getting cold. We should go inside now. Sir is looking for you" he told her as he released her from his embrace.
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