Duty towards parents: Yes or No?

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DonnaHarvey

@DonnaHarvey

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#21

I live in the land of socialized healthcare and even here there is a certain amount of stigma attached with leaving your parent to fend for herself (the government pays some of the cost in long term healthcare but we will get to that later).

My point is, collectivist societies (like India) expect adult children to care for their parents. That is the whole point of a family/community centric life.

I don't know about India proper but atleast in the Diaspora, sons and daughters share the responsibility for delivery of care equally (often times, daughters more than sons). And it is not for free the elder has often selflessly given their time to the daughter/son's kids' daycare. That is a lot of money saved and it adds up quick. Plus, the parents have raised you for eighteen years so you owe it to them to spend within your means on their golden years medical care.

The only expections are when the parent was shitty (you likely do not want to see that person again) or you do not have the money (you are likely guilt ridden anyway).

/end.

Edited by DonnaHarvey - 11 years ago

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bhaironnath

@bhaironnath

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#22

Just as parents take care of children when they are unable to fend for themselves, it becomes the moral oligation of children to reciprocate when the parents are old and infirm, not to leave them in the lurch. And by help, i do not mean just financial. Most parents have led a busy life and on the eve of the existence quite often feel bored with no company. In such times if they are involved in their childrens and grand childrens life , it makes them happy as time is spent.

Most problems arise only because of MIL and DIL issues. Two ladies who are unrelated find it hard to adjust. If the society changes rules and allows daughters to take care , all this would be solved, because no matter what the mom and daughter fight,the relationship is never affected.

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Angel-likeDevil

@Angel-likeDevil

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#23

I may sound harsh but, this is an ugly world, and I'd say :

Parents shouldnt expect things from children... if an adult child isnt showing gratitude, there's really nothing one can do about it. It hurts, but, it's life... better to leave the child alone, and live pleasantly, for the last few years of your life, whilst maintaining a pleasant plain relation with the child. It's hard, as one's death nears them, they yearn child's care, time, etc... I dont want to go into the verbal , mental abuse meted out to elders by the 'adult' child and his/her family.

Talking about children, it is beyond me, how any child can ignore their aging parents. just the thought that amma or papa might get fever should be enough to make you want to keep them close to you, always, under your vigil... but the world is strange. People complicate their lives, whilst they could've made it a beautiful communion with old beloved by your side.. Frankly speaking, a child should feel like making his parents happier each day, smother them with love...as they're nearing death!

Old people are beautiful. Just sitting there, listening to their bantering will make them fulfilled.. They dont need anything more. (from what I have seen)

PS -- Son or daughter, it doesnt make any difference, parents brought up both of them, so what's taking care anything to do with 'son's responsibility' ??

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